Am I Being Unreasonable?

[Chanterelle]

Hello! I just wanted to make sure I'm not totally off base here ... my fiance and I recently purchased this ring for my engagement ring/wedding ring in white gold. It took about a month to create and it just arrived yesterday:



I absolutely love it. Here's the problem - I discovered recently about white gold being more like rhodium-plated yellowish gold and I absolutely did not intend to get an engagement ring that would need constant replating.

We bought this ring through a 3rd party vendor that has it as a final sale item because it's a special order. So I emailed the jeweler politely, telling them how much I loved it but explaining how I felt about the white gold, and asking whether it was possible to mail it back to Japan (they are a Japanese brand) and pay for the upgrade to platinum ($500) and the jeweler's time.

It's been a full work day in Japan and I haven't received a response so far. I figure I'd give them a full week before following up but I am honestly a little anxious since I do mean to wear this ring forever and their website says if this ring is bought through another site, I should contact the other site about repairs and issues. I know the other site will tell me it's final sale and that's that. But I don't want to be forever unhappy about my engagement/wedding ring!

Do you think there's a strong chance the jeweler will essentially tell me sorry, too bad? Perhaps there are jeweler's issues I'm unaware of? Can you also tell me how much you think they would charge for the time if they do decide to take it back? Thank you for your time.

 

[Sabrina31]

I'm sorry, I'm afraid you may be told there is nothing you can do. To upgrade to platinum the ring actually has to be remade, entirely. The jeweler may work with you, but as far as i can tell they don't have to, and frankly, they wouldn't be wrong if they didn't. Good luck, also if it makes you feel better, my original and second wedding sets were both white gold and replating really didn't need to happen often or at all, if i got it sized they would, but other than that i didn't see a need.

 

[OoohShiny]

If the plating wears you can get it replated (at what I understand is a relatively low cost) or you could perhaps consider getting the plating stripped entirely - unplated white gold is not generally yellow, more a creamy colour, and plenty of people on here have chosen unplated white gold as their metal of choice, especially for older cuts (which your main stones appear to be) and stones with lower colours.

Do a search for 'unplated' or 'unplated white gold' to see if you can find some images - I don't think you have anything to fear about the look if the plating wears off or you strip it off.


EDIT: Here you go, wikipedia has a great graphic showing how the colour of gold varies depending on its constituent metals and their ratios: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colored_gold

And pinterest has a great photo: https://i.pinimg.com/736x/83/ce/3e/83ce3eef520239aad5740b4db834fac4.jpg

Not sure if I can link to this forum, so please remove the link if required, @Ella, but it does say the picture was originally from PriceScope!
https://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/psa-you-do-not-have-to-rhodium-plate-white-gold/
http://www-static.weddingbee.com/pics/116715/Metals2.png
(a- platinum, b- unplated 18k white, c- unplated 18k white, d- plated 18k white, e- 22k yellow)

 

[Chanterelle]

I was hoping if I paid for time and the platinum upgrade and could trade back in the materials, it would be okay. Still unlikely? I would not have expected them to do it for just $500.

I looked up this designer and he uses 18k "beige gold" under the rhodium plating, which is their term for their custom-blended yellow gold. I've seen it in real life and it looks like a gray yellow ... and I wanted this ring because it looked like little stars to me, and I wanted the bright white look. I'm pretty sad about it.

 

[OoohShiny]

Until you hear back from the ring makers you won't know for sure what it might cost, but as above, it is likely that they will charge for a whole new ring to be made, less the value of the stones, perhaps.

If it is easier / less hassle, the other option could be to commission a new ring in platinum and then sell the current ring on - you would take a hit on the value, perhaps even 50%, but in the long term, it's only money and you can earn more in time, whereas the ring is supposed to be 'the one ring' for the rest of your life, so you would forget the cost over time.

If you didn't want to / couldn't sell it on at a price you were happy with, you could get a local jeweller to remove the stones and put them into a pendant or earrings or something else, then give you scrap value for the metal. It would still be money out of your pocket, but it would be an option that may be agreeable, in that it would give you another piece of jewellery for reduced cost (because you wouldn't have to pay for the stones again).

You may have to treat this as a life lesson in 'caveat emptor' and the need to do one's homework to the fullest extent before purchasing, I'm afraid!


While I think that 'do it once, do it right' is a good way to live, so would empathise with a decision to remake in Pt and be done with, I would also suggest that you could just wear what you have and see how it goes.

'Constant replating' would only actually mean perhaps every 5 or 10 years, as mentioned above - which really isn't that constant and would mean that you effectively have a ring that looks brand new every decade if you do have it replated!

Pt would still need to be repolished every once in a while to maintain that 'bright white' look (rather than the softer, 'patina' effect of hundreds of small scratches that rings pick up over time) so either way, a ring of whatever metal you choose will require attention over time if you want to maintain the way it looked when you received it.


Ultimately we can't tell you how you feel, only offer alternative viewpoints for your to consider, which may or may not influence the way you feel. Re-framing what appears to be a problem can often change one's mind about whether it's really a problem in the big scheme of things, so I hope we are able to offer reassurance that you have nothing to worry about really, and that if you live with what you have, you may well be pleasantly surprised at just how well it wears. It is still a very pretty ring!

 

[Chanterelle]

Thank you all for your input. I will likely call them next week if I don't get a response and see ...

I think I would still like platinum because I did read that some people have to replace a white gold finish every year depending upon their skin chemistry. That ring has what he calls a stardust finish, which is essentially lots of tiny nicks and scratches so I think the platinum would likely be okay.

When I read about platinum vs white gold I read mostly about function and how they held stones - there are a few articles out there about how platinum loses stones more often. I somehow missed the part about plating white gold until I discovered pricescope - maybe it just didn't register.

I like all of your alternative ideas though, thank you so much! I'll have to think about this for sure.

 

[OoohShiny]

I'm glad we can help

The 'stardust' finish sounds nice. I looked for a similar, 'non-shiny', randomised finish for my wedding ring because I'm a bit OCD and would either want zero scratches or full-on patina - the 'messy' middle ground of a few scratches would annoy me lol

I'm guessing that any replating that might be required of such a finish would need to go back to the maker, as they might replate to a shiny finish and then re-finish in the stardust finish?

I have to say that I've not read much myself on Pt vs gold in terms of potential stone loss - I think Pt is stronger/harder as a metal, but both metals' properties will be affected by the metals they're mixed with and how the metal is worked or cast to create the ring. Stone loss is pretty rare AFAIK, we don't get many posts on the forum about it, so don't worry about it!

If you don't get a response or the options are too expensive / inconvenient / undesirable, I think just wear it and enjoy it and see how it goes - gold / rhodium is pretty inert, so I think you won't need to worry about skin chemistry affecting replating frequency

It would be great to get some pictures of it on your hand, either way - it's an unusual and pretty design and we like pictures of shiny things on this forum! lol

 

[MollyBlue]

I just wanted to chime in with my experience of a white gold ring. It's not an engagement ring, but one I was given for my birthday many years ago. I have worn it all day everyday (and I mean all day, I never take it off) for 12 years, and have only just had it replated for the first time recently. At very little cost.

Even then, nobody would have noticed it needed replating. It developed a slight yellow tinge, but was very even and only I really noticed the change. And after replating, it looks brand spanking new again.

I have no idea whether experiences differ as to how often something needs replating, but I think you are worrying more than you need to about the upkeep. I'd be very surprised if it needed to be done as often as once a year.

 

[Chanterelle]

It didn't occur to me that I might need to send it back to get it replated - that is something I'd want to avoid since shipping with insurance back and forth to Japan is not be cheap.

I know that this style of ring is very popular for them so I'm hoping that would also sway their opinion in terms of sending it back. I haven't been wearing it at all, aside from when I first got it to see what it looked like.

In any case, here is a picture! It's definitely prettier and more sparkly in real life, although of course rose cut diamonds don't have as much flash to them as some other cuts. I don't like stacked rings, so I chose something I thought could double for both.

 

[Chanterelle]

And thank you, MollyBlue, but I did have a rhodium plated sterling silver necklace that wore through. It's also hard to tell what might be an issue until it is, so if it can be preventable I'd like to do that!

I'll just have to see what's possible first. I'll see next week and hope they respond.

 

[Bonfire]

Congratulations on your engagement! Your ring is beautiful and looks lovely on your hand! As far as rhodium plating your ring, this is a very common procedure. Any good jeweler can do this. You don’t need to ship it back and forth to Japan to have this done. Hope you hear back soon, but either way your ring is gorgeous.

 

[Chanterelle]

Thank you!

Congratulations on your engagement! Your ring is beautiful and looks lovely on your hand! As far as rhodium plating your ring, this is a very common procedure. Any good jeweler can do this. You don’t need to ship it back and forth to Japan to have this done. Hope you hear back soon, but either way your ring is gorgeous.

 

[Bron357]

I have an 18ct white gold engagement ring which is rhodium plated. My original setting was in unplated 18ct white gold and it wasn’t “yellow” at all. I wore it that way 15 years. I had a reset, I still chose the 18ct white gold but this time went with rhodium plating. It’s a very pleasant bright white which I’ve decided I prefer. Yes, it wears off slowly, like over a year, mostly on the underside. So I have it re done, $70, great for another year. I don’t like platinum myself, I think it looks too grey and “flat”. I’m sure there’s a comparison metal photo I’ve seen (try googling it) showing all different colour golds at their different gold content.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Gorgeous ring and beautiful hands!

cheers--Sharon

 

[tanalasta]

Re-plating is actually quite common. It doesn't cost a lot and it really depends on the individual how often they need to get it done (e.g. once a year or less) and doesn't affect the whole of the ring so may be something you would get used to or live with.

To have it redone in platinum would involve the complete dismounting and creation / cast of a new ring, the platinum itself and re-setting. The cost may not be worthwhile. Platinum also tarnishes into a dull patina. Would you be planning to polish this?

It's a lovely design. If it ain't broke, don't fix it is what I'm suggesting.

 

[bludiva]

I just want to say I love this ring! So pretty! I have both platinum and white gold rings and the platinum is a greyer color in comparison. Honestly the differences are subtle, but if you want the bright white look, I'd keep the ring in white gold even if you have to replate occasionally. Any jeweler can do the rhodium dip and it shouldn't be expensive.

 

[Maisie]

One of my rings (the one in my avatar) is 14k white gold. The only place where I see any change in colour is the underside of the shank. The other parts stayed nice and white.

 

[Luce]

I have two 14k white gold rings that I inherited. I have never had them replated. The first one (Navette shape) I have had for 30 years, you can see the slight yellow coming through only under the shank but no where else. The second one which is a wedding set from the 50's is still as white as can be...you can see the engraving inside the shank is worn but no color change. I also wear a platinum ER with an 18k white gold rhodium plated WB (the ER is the closest to my fingertip in the photo). You can see the difference is very minimal. I do have to polish the platinum to keep the patina shiny, with white gold it stays nice and polished. I understand your concern and want for platinum... but if the jeweler won't work out an exchange I think you will be pleasantly surprised and happy with your beautiful ring. It sure looks lovely on you!

 

[jadesilver]

Honestly I think it’s quite unlikely that your ring will need to be replated more than once every 5-10 years. All my friends have white gold rings and they all look exactly like white gold/silver to me, no fading despite everyday wear.

I think it’s quite unlikely that your skin chemistry will make the white gold change color or suddenly reveal the under-layer of the ring over time. Could you maybe check with the designer? The layer usually isn’t a thin layer, it’s quite thick and for the thick layers (that I’ve experienced), I’ve seen a yellow gold ring that was plated white gold that has kept the plating for 30 years.

Your ring is lovely!

 

[embdiva]

My first wedding ring I wore for 22 years, white gold. Never had to re-plate it. It was a large ring with lots of gold. Knuckle to knuckle with 9 diamonds and set up high. Beautiful.I think you are excited and maybe over anxious about white gold. Wear it and LOVE it. It is beautiful.

 

[Violetphoenix]

My favorite Kataoka ring and is on my wishlist for 25th wedding anniversary!

IMO, It's such a beautiful ring as is, and the whole ring with its metal color looks so dreamy and magical on your delicate looking hand.

I emailed them couple years ago and got a reply back within 24 hours, but lately they didn't respond to any emails I sent them. I think they prefer for you to work with their distributor. Like the shop where you purchased it.

 

[makocz]

I have a lot of white gold pieces and never had any problem with "peeling" or anything. as long as it's 14k+ you're good. I've noticed 9 and 10k any color gold, looses sheen

 

[westjenn]

I love your ring it is so delicate and the rose cuts are exquisite! I think you aren't being unreasonable at all. It's your forever ring- it should be exactly as you want it. I have had both white gold & platinum and I, by far prefer Platinum.. zero maintenance.
Please post more photos when you receive your ring!