More divorce advice...

[arkieb1]

I think if your ex husband has a history of being controlling and a psychopath I'd wait until all the paperwork and everything is finalised and then introduce the new guy to your children and indeed to your ex. Irrespective of if he can or cannot afford to cause trouble I would give him no opportunity to do so. Then you can move on and have a fresh new life with the children and the new guy without any drama from your ex.

 

[OreoRosies86]

Difficult as this is, I think I'm going to wait a little longer, at least until after Christmas. The children are spending a week with their dad, and I don't want them mentioning "mom's friend" and catching him off guard. I know he isn't seeing anyone now, maybe if he were things would be different. This sucks.

 

[missy]

Difficult as this is, I think I'm going to wait a little longer, at least until after Christmas. The children are spending a week with their dad, and I don't want them mentioning "mom's friend" and catching him off guard. I know he isn't seeing anyone now, maybe if he were things would be different. This sucks.

I know and I'm sorry Elliot but hold on to the fact that soon enough you will be able to enjoy your new happy relationship with your children and that things are looking bright for you and your kids. Hang in there because good things are happening for you finally! (((Hugs))).

 

[TooPatient]

Difficult as this is, I think I'm going to wait a little longer, at least until after Christmas. The children are spending a week with their dad, and I don't want them mentioning "mom's friend" and catching him off guard. I know he isn't seeing anyone now, maybe if he were things would be different. This sucks.

I know it is hard. Try to hang in there and spend extra time together while they are away. Maybe even talk about how you are feeling or ideas of low pressure things to do all together once you are ready to have your kids meet him.
Also, please do take the time to talk with your therapist and maybe even theirs too. Get ideas on what to expect and how to make this as positive as possible.

You know a lot of kids hate anyone you introduce them to? Yep. Because it is different or because they thought maybe it would go back to how it was. (My father was abusive and even I had that thought for a long time!)

 

[azstonie]

Difficult as this is, I think I'm going to wait a little longer, at least until after Christmas. The children are spending a week with their dad, and I don't want them mentioning "mom's friend" and catching him off guard. I know he isn't seeing anyone now, maybe if he were things would be different. This sucks.

Absolutely. Your business is your business. Information can be used later on against you in some way.

 

[elizabethess]

I think you're on the right path, reading these responses! When I met "the one" as a co-parenting single mom I ultimately decided to commit to 6 months of dating before introducing him to my son, and giving Dad a heads up by brief email when that time came. Everyone will have different instinct, of course, but in your situation it does seem to make sense to at least make sure everything is in place before taking that next step

The thing that helped me keep perspective in the early days of our relationship was remembering that if this is really my "forever" guy, in it for the long term, then waiting a month or two for details to be settled is really just a small bit of time, overall It's a marathon, not a sprint

We're now married! A year and a half now. Best of luck to you and your new guy!