From what I can make out, your heart wants a solitaire as your engagement ring. Also the issue for you is that you look down at your hand and the band and diamond blend in too much together. I wonder if you got a band that tapered more towards the diamond you would be happier with the look. Ie it might not be diamond size that is the problem as much as the look of the ring on your finger. Correcting this, and choosing a head that could be adapted for a bigger stone at some point, I think would address the problem of the ring and diamond blending in together. It feels like better options are turning up in the lab mined diamonds area and it might be worth biding your time. I have a .68 diamond on my size 4 finger in a Mark Morrell (I'm not suggesting anything this exxy for you) setting teamed with a channel set tiffany diamond band. I love the taper, I love the size and the diamond is definitely the star.
Just a word on thrift. I think sometimes it's important to know when to break your own rules. Working out how much something means to you, how much joy and satisfaction you'll get out of the purchase and out of your wedding is important. It comes across that your engagement ring, in spite of yourself! seems to mean quite a lot. My brother in law (who is a very well off mining engineer out in Western Australia) has a very frugal wife and when they were in Vienna they decided not to go to a special music concert there because the tickets were expensive. For a couple of complete classical music buffs I thought this turning down of a once in a lifetime experience was a shame.
Just a word on thrift. I think sometimes it's important to know when to break your own rules. Working out how much something means to you, how much joy and satisfaction you'll get out of the purchase and out of your wedding is important. It comes across that your engagement ring, in spite of yourself! seems to mean quite a lot. My brother in law (who is a very well off mining engineer out in Western Australia) has a very frugal wife and when they were in Vienna they decided not to go to a special music concert there because the tickets were expensive. For a couple of complete classical music buffs I thought this turning down of a once in a lifetime experience was a shame.