shape
carat
color
clarity

Advice needed with my choice and road to buying

SimoneDi

Ideal_Rock
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@Siyah I haven’t read all of the last comments, but once you try out different settings with your SO, make sure to tell her that you are aiming for something similar, not the exact setting. I wouldn’t stress too much over the setting and I would set your budget for it. If there is a T&Co store nearby, maybe try to visit that as well. Get set ring size from a couple of vendors to make sure that it is correct. Also, please don’t try on rings with larger than 0.6ct center stones.
 

Siyah

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Dec 28, 2018
Messages
100
@Siyah I haven’t read all of the last comments, but once you try out different settings with your SO, make sure to tell her that you are aiming for something similar, not the exact setting. I wouldn’t stress too much over the setting and I would set your budget for it. If there is a T&Co store nearby, maybe try to visit that as well. Get set ring size from a couple of vendors to make sure that it is correct. Also, please don’t try on rings with larger than 0.6ct center stones.

Thanks for the advice, SimoneDi. Appreciated. Will do!
 

rockysalamander

Ideal_Rock
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5,105
Also, don't try on settings well outside your budget (T&Co aside)...unless they are way-way out and you and she both know it. I would also float the question of if she'd rather the 3 stone with the stone you can afford or a larger solitaire. If she likes one over the other, ask her to explain why. You might be surprised at the reason. It may not be the size or the diamonds or number of stones, maybe its the stone color or low profile ring or it reminds her of someone. Like @sledge said, "go curious" and do good research.
 

nojs

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Joined
Nov 22, 2014
Messages
338
I’m from Finland, and for price reasons I always buy from US not the UK. Even though I pay for VAT (+24 %), it is still less expensive overall. There is no duty on loose diamonds nor it is illegal to purchase them. You can pay FexEd to do the customs (VAT) process or you can do it yourself (a lot of hassle but no extra cost). I always let them do it for a small fee. You can have the diamond delivered or go to the FedEx office to pick the parcel up. I have tried both and never had a problem.

The only downside of ordering from the US is that the returns are practically impossible. This hasn’t bothered me, since I’ve always had the stones set locally and all my jewelry is custom made. I look at the specs of the diamond and take my chances. I have yet to face a disappointment.
 

Siyah

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 28, 2018
Messages
100
Alright all, it was an interesting evening for sure.

Facts I learned today at the jewelry store(s):
- She is very picky (oh I knew it already, but this was something different)
- She likes settings with stones on the sides, yet she finally said that she prefers a white gold classic solitaire setting.
- The classic solitaire setting with the diamond should not be high. For example: she tried a 0.12ct diamond ring, but she found that the diamond was set too high. Then, she tried a 0.25ct diamond where the diamond was set a bit lower and she loved that (see attachments/pics below).
- The setting needs to be 1.5mm (or 1.6), but 2mm is too "thick" so she does not like that. She does not like thick bands.
- Her size is a 16, but I don't know what that size is in UK. 16mm I guess which makes it the Dutch way of measuring.
- She does not like 6 prongs; she prefers and likes 4 prongs. What I also noticed is that she prefers the prongs to be almost invisible; they need to be very delicate and subtle.
- She does not like a setting where the diamond - with 6 prongs - makes the diamond look like a "flower". She prefers the diamond to be round, but it can look like a square because of the 4 prongs she prefers.
- Platinum or 14k gold; it will not matter that much for her.

Interesting stuff, really. Even though I did know 80% of these, it's still an eyeopener.

The problems I see:
-
The fact that I do not know if the settings on BN are actually fitting her needs
- The fact that I do not know now if the 0.57ct is not a bit too big, as I do not know if there is a setting where the diamond will be "low". She obviously does not care that much about the size of the diamond. She even told me that she would be okay with something that is not a diamond (you got the love her!) and she would be even fine with something from Swarovski....

Questions:
-
Could you help me finding the right setting with the above mentioned specs, if there are any?
- Should I go for a 0.57ct regardless of the setting or should we find a new "unicorn" among a bit smaller stone?
- What is size 16 in UK terms, because I can only choose UK sizes on BN.
- What do you think when you read all this and what do you think of the diamond you can see from the pics? I will obviously not buy it, but I'd like your genuine opinion about (my own opinion: it was not sparkling, even with all the lights, so it can't be a good diamond, but that's me as a non-expert) :)

Please also see the ring she liked the most (it's the 0.25ct diamond).
WhatsApp Image 2019-01-05 at 17.19.20.jpeg WhatsApp Image 2019-01-05 at 17.19.20(1).jpeg WhatsApp Image 2019-01-05 at 17.19.21.jpeg WhatsApp Image 2019-01-05 at 17.19.24.jpeg
 

Matilda

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2018
Messages
467
Uk size K, I think! I am glad you have a bit more information, even if it may seem overwhelming. In terms of low setting, honestly I also like very low settings, but you have to take into account the actual depth of the stone in mm, then add a couple more, that would be the bare minimum above her finger it will be. I think the diamond you chose has 3.27mm depth? In terms of less than 2mm that may be a bit tricky..perhaps ask blue nile which one they can recommend?
 

Siyah

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 28, 2018
Messages
100
Unfortunately, this is the only one I could find that was under 2mm AND has 4 prongs and has quite low setting.

https://www.bluenile.com/nl/build-y...ing_23189?elem=img&track=product&vtype=sample

I will look for more when the BN website loads faster (having some internet problems).

You could ask if BN do a custom setting?

Thank you, @Matilda! Does BN do custom settings? If so, that would be even better! That would be amazing actually....

I am going for a business trip tomorrow, but I'll try to chat with them at least. I like this solitaire btw, but if it's 1.9mm, I am afraid she will find it a bit too thick...

PS: my diamonds measurements --> 5.31 x 5.29 x 3.29 mm
 

Matilda

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2018
Messages
467
Maybe custom IF BN do it would be best. I couldn't see anything much under 2mm, sadly (and with the other requirements). There is another setting which is similar to the one in the photo of her. Unfortunately for some reason I cannot link it. So it is the CLASSIC FOUR CLAW SOLITAIRE , about 390 euro. The third row down and third to the right on this page:
https://www.bluenile.com/uk/engagement-rings/styles/solitaire?track=NavEngSolitaire
 

SimoneDi

Ideal_Rock
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Messages
3,811
I think it’s this one:
https://www.bluenile.com/nl/build-y...gol_19797?elem=img&track=product&vtype=sample

I have had a very similar setting and even though it says 2mm, it actually has a very soft knife edge and doesn’t look big or bulky at all. Anything much thinner won’t be very durable in the long run.

If she likes yellow gold, this one is also pretty:
https://www.bluenile.com/nl/build-y...old_63674?elem=img&track=product&vtype=sample

I also agree that it fits what she wants and very similar to the one she tired on in store.

The 0.57 diamond is beautiful. Did she notice diamond color at all? If she tried on 0.25ct rings when 0.57 will be a nice sizeabke diamond.
 

rockysalamander

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Writing fast. If it was me...(1) Go with the .57, (2) get the setting noted by @Matilda -- don't go custom*, but tell them you want the stone as low as possible in the setting and set so the prongs are not covering the arrows of the diamond+ (3) get platinum**.

Settings are generally not made thinner along the finger as the ring is simply not strong enough. It will bend and tourque through routinue use.

Present her the ring in the 30-day return period. If she like diamond and overall setting, but still wants it thinner, she can take it to a jeweler and have then thin it a bit. I don't recommend this if the ring will be work for daily life, but you can take the jeweller's advice on this. If she does not like the diamond or setting, you have time to swap things with BN.

*No custom, so if she does not like the ring you can return it and the diamond. BN won't take back custom settings.
**No white gold, as it is easier to simply thin a solid metal and finish it than bother with re-plating and the like.
+if they don't set the stone as low as possible, this can be fixed by a local jeweler if there is still room in the setting to lower the stone.

Prongs being delicate are a fine line between the current notion of delicate (which is too delicate in my book) and not losing a diamond. Especially, with only 4 prongs, if you bend a prong, you can lose the diamond. There is not backup as there will be with 6. So, I'd go with the ring noted above and ask them for delicate prongs that don't mean custom (see * above).
 

lovedogs

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jul 31, 2014
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18,033
Writing fast. If it was me...(1) Go with the .57, (2) get the setting noted by @Matilda -- don't go custom*, but tell them you want the stone as low as possible in the setting and set so the prongs are not covering the arrows of the diamond+ (3) get platinum**.

Settings are generally not made thinner along the finger as the ring is simply not strong enough. It will bend and tourque through routinue use.

Present her the ring in the 30-day return period. If she like diamond and overall setting, but still wants it thinner, she can take it to a jeweler and have then thin it a bit. I don't recommend this if the ring will be work for daily life, but you can take the jeweller's advice on this. If she does not like the diamond or setting, you have time to swap things with BN.

*No custom, so if she does not like the ring you can return it and the diamond. BN won't take back custom settings.
**No white gold, as it is easier to simply thin a solid metal and finish it than bother with re-plating and the like.
+if they don't set the stone as low as possible, this can be fixed by a local jeweler if there is still room in the setting to lower the stone.

Prongs being delicate are a fine line between the current notion of delicate (which is too delicate in my book) and not losing a diamond. Especially, with only 4 prongs, if you bend a prong, you can lose the diamond. There is not backup as there will be with 6. So, I'd go with the ring noted above and ask them for delicate prongs that don't mean custom (see * above).
I agree with everything rocky said.
 

kmoro

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Joined
Sep 13, 2018
Messages
1,081
I agree with everything rocky said.

Me too!

Except ... I can't remember if you were on a budget for a setting, but I think this one is lovely:

https://www.bluenile.com/build-your...-ring-platinum_41262?elem=title&track=product

Your fiancée will likely start to notice other diamonds as soon as she has one ... especially an extremely nice one ... I think .57 is perfect for a conservative size ... personally would not want to go smaller than .5 in a solitaire ring (and find .5 smallish) - although small diamonds are still beautiful ... it’s an engagement ring :wink2:

You almost have a ring!
 

Siyah

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 28, 2018
Messages
100
Maybe custom IF BN do it would be best. I couldn't see anything much under 2mm, sadly (and with the other requirements). There is another setting which is similar to the one in the photo of her. Unfortunately for some reason I cannot link it. So it is the CLASSIC FOUR CLAW SOLITAIRE , about 390 euro. The third row down and third to the right on this page:
https://www.bluenile.com/uk/engagement-rings/styles/solitaire?track=NavEngSolitaire

Sadly there is nothing under 2mm indeed. I am afraid that this setting is still too thick, but then again: it's just a photo (and video) and I can't know for sure.

My gut feeling says it's too bulky (especially just next to the diamond, which she finds more important than the rest of the setting).

I think it’s this one:
https://www.bluenile.com/nl/build-y...gol_19797?elem=img&track=product&vtype=sample

I have had a very similar setting and even though it says 2mm, it actually has a very soft knife edge and doesn’t look big or bulky at all. Anything much thinner won’t be very durable in the long run.

If she likes yellow gold, this one is also pretty:
https://www.bluenile.com/nl/build-y...old_63674?elem=img&track=product&vtype=sample

I also agree that it fits what she wants and very similar to the one she tired on in store.

The 0.57 diamond is beautiful. Did she notice diamond color at all? If she tried on 0.25ct rings when 0.57 will be a nice sizeabke diamond.

Ah, that second link of Zac Posen is amazing! I would have taken that for sure if that was the white gold! Darn! She does not like yellow gold, so I can't take this one but here you can definitely see the setting is a bit thinner near the diamond which she adores. So sad it is not in white gold :(

Can BN turn it into white gold if I would ask?

PS: no, she did not notice the diamond color.

Writing fast. If it was me...(1) Go with the .57, (2) get the setting noted by @Matilda -- don't go custom*, but tell them you want the stone as low as possible in the setting and set so the prongs are not covering the arrows of the diamond+ (3) get platinum**.

Settings are generally not made thinner along the finger as the ring is simply not strong enough. It will bend and tourque through routinue use.

Present her the ring in the 30-day return period. If she like diamond and overall setting, but still wants it thinner, she can take it to a jeweler and have then thin it a bit. I don't recommend this if the ring will be work for daily life, but you can take the jeweller's advice on this. If she does not like the diamond or setting, you have time to swap things with BN.

*No custom, so if she does not like the ring you can return it and the diamond. BN won't take back custom settings.
**No white gold, as it is easier to simply thin a solid metal and finish it than bother with re-plating and the like.
+if they don't set the stone as low as possible, this can be fixed by a local jeweler if there is still room in the setting to lower the stone.

Prongs being delicate are a fine line between the current notion of delicate (which is too delicate in my book) and not losing a diamond. Especially, with only 4 prongs, if you bend a prong, you can lose the diamond. There is not backup as there will be with 6. So, I'd go with the ring noted above and ask them for delicate prongs that don't mean custom (see * above).

Thank you for the nice feedback, @rockysalamander! I will try to do it as you said. I will also go for my gut feeling. When I see it's just not what she would want, I will send it back. I am afraid I can't propose yet, so it will be a tough one.

With the ring above you mean the classic 4 claw solitaire ring btw?

Me too!

Except ... I can't remember if you were on a budget for a setting, but I think this one is lovely:

https://www.bluenile.com/build-your...-ring-platinum_41262?elem=title&track=product

Your fiancée will likely start to notice other diamonds as soon as she has one ... especially an extremely nice one ... I think .57 is perfect for a conservative size ... personally would not want to go smaller than .5 in a solitaire ring (and find .5 smallish) - although small diamonds are still beautiful ... it’s an engagement ring :wink2:

You almost have a ring!

Hmm, that setting also looks nice! I will check it out and maybe ask BN for real pics (will they do that?).

Thanks for the help; I hope she will like it!
 

Snowdrop13

Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Aug 27, 2011
Messages
2,960
You have been getting amazing advice from everyone and I love that ML setting above!

My personal view is that a 2mm band will be more in proportion with the bigger diamond and that it will be more robust for daily wear.
 

MaisOuiMadame

Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Jan 9, 2015
Messages
3,451
Thirding @rockysalamander - wise words....

The reverse taper makes the setting look delicate from the top view, yet more durable. Warping a ring out of round is a thing (carrying REALLY heavy shopping, gripping stuff). Also with smaller center stones the prongs will always be proportionally bigger. For this reason I wouldn't go smaller than the stone you picked. In a smaller stone you can't make them infinitely smaller. The stone in your attached picture already looks very square.

Double and triple check the ring size conversion on Google.

I have personally always favored platinum for settings (look, nice heavy feeling). But since the day I nearly ripped off the head of my engagement ring buckling up my kid in her seat belt, I am an advocate of platinum all the way. Plat is more malleable, so will displace but won't break off in the event of an impact. Several experts confirmed that I'd very likely have lost my center stone in a 14k setting. Just something to keep in mind
 
Last edited:

Siyah

Rough_Rock
Joined
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Messages
100
Thirding @rockysalamander - wise words....

The reverse taper makes the setting look delicate from the top view, yet more durable. Warping a ring out of round is a thing (carrying REALLY heavy shopping, gripping stuff). Also with smaller center stones the prongs will always be proportionally bigger. For this reason I wouldn't go smaller than the stone you picked. In a smaller stone you can't make them infinitely smaller. The stone in your attached picture already looks very square.

Double and triple check the ring size conversion on Google.

I have personally always favored platinum for settings (look, nice heavy feeling). But since the day I nearly ripped off the head of my engagement ring buckling up my kid in her seat belt, I am an advocate of platinum all the way. Plat is more malleable, so will displace but won't break off in the event of an impact. Several experts confirmed that I'd very likely have lost my center stone in a 14k setting. Just something to keep in mind

Thanks, Kipari. Which one do you refer to when talking about the reverse taper?
 

Siyah

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 28, 2018
Messages
100
Alright all, it was an interesting evening for sure.

Facts I learned today at the jewelry store(s):
- She is very picky (oh I knew it already, but this was something different)
- She likes settings with stones on the sides, yet she finally said that she prefers a white gold classic solitaire setting.
- The classic solitaire setting with the diamond should not be high. For example: she tried a 0.12ct diamond ring, but she found that the diamond was set too high. Then, she tried a 0.25ct diamond where the diamond was set a bit lower and she loved that (see attachments/pics below).
- The setting needs to be 1.5mm (or 1.6), but 2mm is too "thick" so she does not like that. She does not like thick bands.
- Her size is a 16, but I don't know what that size is in UK. 16mm I guess which makes it the Dutch way of measuring.
- She does not like 6 prongs; she prefers and likes 4 prongs. What I also noticed is that she prefers the prongs to be almost invisible; they need to be very delicate and subtle.
- She does not like a setting where the diamond - with 6 prongs - makes the diamond look like a "flower". She prefers the diamond to be round, but it can look like a square because of the 4 prongs she prefers.
- Platinum or 14k gold; it will not matter that much for her.

Interesting stuff, really. Even though I did know 80% of these, it's still an eyeopener.

The problems I see:
-
The fact that I do not know if the settings on BN are actually fitting her needs
- The fact that I do not know now if the 0.57ct is not a bit too big, as I do not know if there is a setting where the diamond will be "low". She obviously does not care that much about the size of the diamond. She even told me that she would be okay with something that is not a diamond (you got the love her!) and she would be even fine with something from Swarovski....

Questions:
-
Could you help me finding the right setting with the above mentioned specs, if there are any?
- Should I go for a 0.57ct regardless of the setting or should we find a new "unicorn" among a bit smaller stone?
- What is size 16 in UK terms, because I can only choose UK sizes on BN.
- What do you think when you read all this and what do you think of the diamond you can see from the pics? I will obviously not buy it, but I'd like your genuine opinion about (my own opinion: it was not sparkling, even with all the lights, so it can't be a good diamond, but that's me as a non-expert) :)

Please also see the ring she liked the most (it's the 0.25ct diamond).
WhatsApp Image 2019-01-05 at 17.19.20.jpeg WhatsApp Image 2019-01-05 at 17.19.20(1).jpeg WhatsApp Image 2019-01-05 at 17.19.21.jpeg WhatsApp Image 2019-01-05 at 17.19.24.jpeg

BTW, one mistake: she is a size 16.5, not 16.
 

MaisOuiMadame

Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Jan 9, 2015
Messages
3,451
The Zac pose one and the classic four claw taper one are both reverse tapered =thinner towards the diamond


Thanks, Kipari. Which one do you refer to when talking about the reverse taper?
 

MaisOuiMadame

Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Jan 9, 2015
Messages
3,451
I do agree that the Zac Posen one is perfect, but the site states it's in yellow gold only.
I can't quite assess how confident you are right now that you nailed down your fiancée 's preferences. If you're in doubt go with rocky' s advice. Returnable/modifiable standard setting (I guess this one https://www.bluenile.com/uk/build-y...old_23193?elem=img&track=product&vtype=sample)

MAKE SURE the prong slimming /LOW set option do not make it custom=unreturnable. Get it in writing via email.

If you're 100% certain that the Zac Posen with refined prongs and LOW set would be perfect, ask if they'd make it in white gold or platinum. But as mentioned :customised settings are not returnable. That said it is a very budget friendly option and we tend to have fewer choices in Europe than in the US, so other than going full custom with uncertain outcome, it's unlikely you'll get much closer to what you described to be her dream design.
 

Siyah

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 28, 2018
Messages
100
I do agree that the Zac Posen one is perfect, but the site states it's in yellow gold only.
I can't quite assess how confident you are right now that you nailed down your fiancée 's preferences. If you're in doubt go with rocky' s advice. Returnable/modifiable standard setting (I guess this one https://www.bluenile.com/uk/build-y...old_23193?elem=img&track=product&vtype=sample)

MAKE SURE the prong slimming /LOW set option do not make it custom=unreturnable. Get it in writing via email.

If you're 100% certain that the Zac Posen with refined prongs and LOW set would be perfect, ask if they'd make it in white gold or platinum. But as mentioned :customised settings are not returnable. That said it is a very budget friendly option and we tend to have fewer choices in Europe than in the US, so other than going full custom with uncertain outcome, it's unlikely you'll get much closer to what you described to be her dream design.

The Zac Posen is perfect. If I can get that in white gold, I will take it. If it's not customizable, then I will take that risk.

The one you are linking to is nice, but I know already that my girlfriend will not like this as it looks like it's too thick. The setting itself is 2.25mm and I think towards the diamond it's still 1.8 or 1.9, which is still too much in my opinion.

Maybe I'll also have a chat with BN to check what the possibilities are.

The reason I am confident about the Zac Posen, is because it looks like the one she liked:

WhatsApp Image 2019-01-05 at 17.19.21.jpeg WhatsApp Image 2019-01-05 at 17.19.24.jpeg
 
Last edited:

Snowdrop13

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Aug 27, 2011
Messages
2,960
Thanks, @Snowdrop13. Would it be wise to go for one bigger size, just to be sure?

What if the setting is not good? I reckon it's easier for them to make it smaller, right? :)
I don’t know! Last time I had a ring resized the girl serving me said it was best to have the size where you had to actively push the ring on, guess she meant that was for a tight enough fit.
 

MaisOuiMadame

Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Messages
3,451
No, it's easier to make it bigger rather than smaller.


I reckon it's easier for them to make it smaller, right? :)
 

Siyah

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 28, 2018
Messages
100
No, it's easier to make it bigger rather than smaller.


I reckon it's easier for them to make it smaller, right? :)

Oh I thought it was the other way around. Then I'll take her exact size and hope it fits well with the diamond.

Chat is not available on Blue Nile, so I will have to wait until tomorrow to ask the stuff to them I am afraid, as calling to the US is not a smart move from EU. :)

Thanks all for your help.

@sledge @rockysalamander @Snowdrop13 @SimoneDi @kipari @kmoro @lovedogs
 

kmoro

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Messages
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I don’r Know if they can show it to you or not ....

But in the scrolling options under the picture window, there is a “customer creation” tab where there are pictures of actual purchases of that setting ... and one of them is a 360 video that shows it quite well ... a bit better than the BN “360” tab.

Link again: https://www.bluenile.com/build-your...-ring-platinum_41262?elem=title&track=product

lol - I really like this setting ... and it’s platinum...
 

Matilda

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Messages
467
Really nice one also @kmoro its quite dainty too. From the side view it looks a bit like the one she liked in the photo at the jewellery shop . I think this is a good option if Zac Posen one is not available in white gold.
 

Siyah

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 28, 2018
Messages
100
Really nice one also @kmoro its quite dainty too. From the side view it looks a bit like the one she liked in the photo at the jewellery shop . I think this is a good option if Zac Posen one is not available in white gold.

I agree, but in Europe it's over 1000 Euros... which makes it interesting, as it's almost as expensive as the diamond itself...
 
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