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Pet Peeve: answering questions incorrectly

P: 10/8/2008 11:29:32 AM
aprilcait Ideal Rock Total Posts: 785 Last Post: 10/23/2009 Member Since: 10/17/2006	DH has a tendency to answer certain questions "incorrectly" (i.e.: I ask, "Would you mind helping me move this dresser?" and DH answer, "yep" and proceeds to kindly help me). It confuses me for a moment because I think that he, in fact, means: yes, it would bother him to help me, when in fact he is answering an entirely different question all together (i.e.: "Would you help me move the dresser?") and would actually not mind lending me a hand. Today, I emailed DH a to-do list I'm working on for us for the house. I sent this message: "I compiled a to-do list for us for the house. Is there anything you want to add to the list, or is there anything I forgot?" and he replied "yep". So I waited for him to respond with his additions... nothing. When I asked him what was missing, he was completely confused and said that he answered, "yep, as in: yep, the list is fine." I've mentioned the issue to him before an he's somewhat aware he does it, but only after the fact. It's a little thing, I know but it annoys the bajeebers out of me to be confused for no reason. Anyone else get annoyed at this kind of thing?
Posted: 10/8/2008 11:29:32 AM

There are 19 replies to this message. There are 19 replies on this page.

P: 10/8/2008 11:34:31 AM
fiery Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,143 Last Post: 11/25/2009 Member Since: 5/18/2008	LOL I get confused with that all the time. If I ask "would you mind helping me?" and they say yes, then I don't know if they mean yes I mind or yes they'll help.
Posted: 10/8/2008 11:34:31 AM

P: 10/8/2008 11:34:48 AM
dragonfly411 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,589 Last Post: 11/25/2009 Member Since: 6/25/2007	SO says Kermit instead of Hermit.... I feel your pain!!! age - 23 engagement - waiting!! fav forums - LIW,Healthy Lifestyles, Hangout, Family, Around the World, SMTR What makes me tick : horses, creative photography, the ocean, good music, poetry, reading
Posted: 10/8/2008 11:34:48 AM

P: 10/8/2008 12:11:22 PM
Haven Ideal Rock Total Posts: 6,095 Last Post: 11/25/2009 Member Since: 2/16/2007	As long as I understand what a person means by their response, I don't have a problem with it. However, it sounds like your DH is confusing you and that would definitely annoy me, at the very least! If your DH isn't planning on changing his ways, perhaps it would make your life easier if you started asking questions in a more straightforward manner, then at least you wouldn't be so confused! ********************************************************** "I'm sorry I ruined your lives and crammed eleven cookies into the VCR." - Buddy the Elf "Let your inner Liz Taylor out and rock it." - diamondfan
Posted: 10/8/2008 12:11:22 PM

P: 10/8/2008 12:30:24 PM
aprilcait Ideal Rock Total Posts: 785 Last Post: 10/23/2009 Member Since: 10/17/2006	Date: 10/8/2008 12:11:22 PM Author: Haven As long as I understand what a person means by their response, I don't have a problem with it. However, it sounds like your DH is confusing you and that would definitely annoy me, at the very least! If your DH isn't planning on changing his ways, perhaps it would make your life easier if you started asking questions in a more straightforward manner, then at least you wouldn't be so confused! Valid point and a good sugestion, Haven DH wants to try to change how he answers questions, knowing that people (other than me) do ask questions in various ways. So, I just need to suck it up.
Posted: 10/8/2008 12:30:24 PM

P: 10/8/2008 12:35:10 PM
ladypirate Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,570 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 7/30/2007	Date: 10/8/2008 11:34:48 AM Author: dragonfly411 SO says Kermit instead of Hermit.... I feel your pain!!! That is adorable! - Hot chocolate butterflies dance through my heart and tell me you're the one. Come take a sip of this so I can look into your beautiful eyes and say, "Ouch! I spilled some on my lap, burning my leg, but I don't mind. I'm with you."
Posted: 10/8/2008 12:35:10 PM

P: 10/8/2008 12:41:36 PM
Tacori E-ring Ideal Rock Total Posts: 16,108 Last Post: 11/25/2009 Member Since: 8/15/2005	it's never going to change
Posted: 10/8/2008 12:41:36 PM

P: 10/8/2008 12:54:09 PM
hibiscus Cut Rock Total Posts: 251 Last Post: 11/11/2008 Member Since: 8/3/2008	I have the same problem. My MIL was right, I can never change him. Its been 2 1/2 years now and his yes & yep is never a real answer to my questions. I think its a habit. I just stop asking :). It bugs him when I do the same ( I tried but it was easy doing something you're not used to : )) So, hang in there.
Posted: 10/8/2008 12:54:09 PM

P: 10/8/2008 12:58:28 PM
decodelighted Ideal Rock Total Posts: 8,630 Last Post: 11/25/2009 Member Since: 7/27/2005	Men are direct. "Would you mind" is a namby pamby way of saying "Would you help". He's trying to be affirmative! Yes! Yes I'll help. In his mind that's being agreeable. Whereas you are losing the big picture & getting caught up in terminology. If you know he's like this -- why not just be more direct YOURSELF. Ya don't have to tiptoe around "do you mind" "is it okay" blah blah ... its a bad habit if you ask me. Though I know I'm guilty of it myself (being a ex-southerner ). ETA: "would you mind" is apologetic ... cow-towing ... submissive. "would you" is affirmative, powerful. JMHO.
Posted: 10/8/2008 12:58:28 PM

P: 10/8/2008 1:36:16 PM
*DiamondDana** Ideal Rock Total Posts: 6,172 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 7/21/2006	I know that it bothers you, but your post made me smile ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you judge people, you have no time to love them ~Mother Teresa
Posted: 10/8/2008 1:36:16 PM

P: 10/8/2008 1:38:43 PM
aprilcait Ideal Rock Total Posts: 785 Last Post: 10/23/2009 Member Since: 10/17/2006	Date: 10/8/2008 1:36:16 PM Author: Diamond*Dana I know that it bothers you, but your post made me smile I'm glad! It's a silly thing to be bothered by, after all.
Posted: 10/8/2008 1:38:43 PM

P: 10/8/2008 1:41:42 PM
Mrs Mitchell Ideal Rock Total Posts: 879 Last Post: 11/25/2009 Member Since: 9/23/2006	Instead of asking a question, DH makes a statement, in a sort of questionning tone. Like "you bought wine" for example, when he means "did you buy wine?" Silly thing but it drives me nuts! Other than that, he's adorable.
Posted: 10/8/2008 1:41:42 PM

P: 10/8/2008 1:44:58 PM
Mrs Mitchell Ideal Rock Total Posts: 879 Last Post: 11/25/2009 Member Since: 9/23/2006	Date: 10/8/2008 12:58:28 PM Author: decodelighted Men are direct. 'Would you mind' is a namby pamby way of saying 'Would you help'. He's trying to be affirmative! Yes! Yes I'll help. In his mind that's being agreeable. Whereas you are losing the big picture & getting caught up in terminology. If you know he's like this -- why not just be more direct YOURSELF. Ya don't have to tiptoe around 'do you mind' 'is it okay' blah blah ... its a bad habit if you ask me. Though I know I'm guilty of it myself (being a ex-southerner ). ETA: 'would you mind' is apologetic ... cow-towing ... submissive. 'would you' is affirmative, powerful. JMHO. LOL! I'm not keen on submissive. How about "get your butt over here and get this done, now would be good..."
Posted: 10/8/2008 1:44:58 PM

P: 10/8/2008 1:51:22 PM
joflier Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,706 Last Post: 11/25/2009 Member Since: 10/2/2007	I'm guilty of answering stuff wrongly.....although most folks around my area do that. A lot of Wisconsin people have a different way of speaking. I try not to let it flow into my online talking though. People would be so confused!
Posted: 10/8/2008 1:51:22 PM

P: 10/8/2008 1:58:18 PM
aprilcait Ideal Rock Total Posts: 785 Last Post: 10/23/2009 Member Since: 10/17/2006	Date: 10/8/2008 1:44:58 PM Author: Mrs Mitchell Date: 10/8/2008 12:58:28 PM Author: decodelighted Men are direct. 'Would you mind' is a namby pamby way of saying 'Would you help'. He's trying to be affirmative! Yes! Yes I'll help. In his mind that's being agreeable. Whereas you are losing the big picture & getting caught up in terminology. If you know he's like this -- why not just be more direct YOURSELF. Ya don't have to tiptoe around 'do you mind' 'is it okay' blah blah ... its a bad habit if you ask me. Though I know I'm guilty of it myself (being a ex-southerner ). ETA: 'would you mind' is apologetic ... cow-towing ... submissive. 'would you' is affirmative, powerful. JMHO. LOL! I'm not keen on submissive. How about 'get your butt over here and get this done, now would be good...' It's funny that that's considered a submissive tendency. I don't really consider myself submissive, but I do make an effort to be polite. DH and I actively try to be polite to one another (which is kind of an interesting combination with our frequent smarta$$ness). Haha!
Posted: 10/8/2008 1:58:18 PM

P: 10/8/2008 5:29:09 PM
Tuckins1 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,397 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 4/13/2008	Yeah. I'm a teacher so that kind of stuff just gets on my nerves. It doesn't help that I work in an urban setting, so the grammar and pronunciation are lacking anyways! "If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?!"
Posted: 10/8/2008 5:29:09 PM

P: 10/8/2008 7:04:25 PM
mimzy Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,812 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 7/17/2007	FI does this sort of thing too, and it is 100% a lack of attention. He hears (or reads) me enough to get the gist of what i'm asking or saying for the most part, but doesn't pay enough attention to process the syntax and any consequent info. they scan in, fill in what they would do/ask of the info, and respond accordingly.....inaccurately. [it's good to be good to people you don't understand]
Posted: 10/8/2008 7:04:25 PM

P: 10/8/2008 7:34:40 PM
radiantquest Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,316 Last Post: 11/25/2009 Member Since: 7/20/2008	OMG that is so funny. i laughed out loud a little bit. they are so cute. but i do think the reason he is answering incorrectly is because he isnt listening/reading the entire sentence. they think they are so smart :) has anyone ever heard of mitchum deoderant? well he will ask me to get some, but he pronounces it as mikeum. totally misses the itch part. skips right over it and pronounces whatever he wants.
Posted: 10/8/2008 7:34:40 PM

P: 10/8/2008 8:41:59 PM
lovegem Cut Rock Total Posts: 387 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 12/26/2007	LOL, you are very polite to your SO. I simply request "come help me with this"... or "I compiled a to-do list. what do you think?" OR "I compiled a to-do list, good?".
Posted: 10/8/2008 8:41:59 PM

P: 10/8/2008 8:44:33 PM
choro72 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,443 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 2/11/2008	My dad is like this, so I understand your pain. I have 18 years of training so it doesn't phase me at all anymore It's a wonder that my mom has managed to NOT tare her hair out. While driving Mom: "Do I make a left or right turn?" Dad: "Yes."
Posted: 10/8/2008 8:44:33 PM

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