How do you usually gift?

P: 9/24/2008 5:57:19 PM

musey

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 11,165
Last Post: 11/24/2009
Member Since: 9/30/2006

We've discussed this, but I haven't seen it in poll form. I'm just curious

and it's usually easier to be honest in a poll, where you don't have to explain yourself.

Poll:

Question: How/what do you usually gift for a wedding?

Answers
I send/take a gift from the registry, regardless of whether I attend the wedding
I send/take a personal gift (off-registry), regardless of whether I attend the wedding
I send/take cash, regardless of whether I attend the wedding
I send/take a gift from the registry, only if I attend the wedding (I don't gift if I don't attend)
I send/take a personal gift (off-registry), only if I attend the wedding (I don't gift if I don't attend)
I send/take cash, only if I attend the wedding (I don't gift if I don't attend)
I don't give gifts for weddings, it's about a marriage, not presents! (bah-humbug)
Other/Show me the results!

Posted: 9/24/2008 5:57:19 PM

There are 15 replies to this message. There are 15 replies on this page.

P: 9/24/2008 6:04:05 PM
musey Ideal Rock Total Posts: 11,165 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 9/30/2006	Musey, what inspired this question today, 10 days from your wedding, you may ask? FMIL has been bugging me to let her know when we receive gifts from "her side," and what they are. Since she hasn't heard much from me, she thinks I've forgotten. No, we just haven't received anything. She's aghast. Honestly, I'm not surprised or bothered by it (why would I notice/care?)--but I am bothered by her indignation that we've received fewer than 10 gifts. So I feel like I need a better explanation for her, like "most people give cash at the wedding (not before) these days"... or something.
Posted: 9/24/2008 6:04:05 PM

P: 9/24/2008 6:20:37 PM
kittybean Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,070 Last Post: 11/22/2009 Member Since: 5/2/2008	I wanted to clarify my vote, since it's a combination of two. I always send a gift, whether I am going to the wedding or not. I generally send it a week or two before, but I have sent gifts a week or so after (no more) on occasion. If I know the couple very well and know their taste, I often purchase some sort of artwork for their home. I have quite a few artist friends, and I try to send the couple a signed work if they have expressed that they like the artist's work. If I don't know the couple particularly well or am unsure of their taste, I purchase a gift (or several if they're lower-cost items) from the registry.
Posted: 9/24/2008 6:20:37 PM

P: 9/24/2008 6:23:24 PM
musey Ideal Rock Total Posts: 11,165 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 9/30/2006	Date: 9/24/2008 6:20:37 PM Author: kittybean I have sent gifts a week or so after (no more) on occasion. On that note, I need to figure out how to get mail from UPS and FedEx held, because we're going to be gone for the honeymoon for 3 weeks--stuff will get returned during that timeframe! Off to ups.com......
Posted: 9/24/2008 6:23:24 PM

P: 9/24/2008 6:23:54 PM
Nocturnius Cut Rock Total Posts: 219 Last Post: 1/19/2009 Member Since: 8/23/2008	I always give checks made out to the couple. A) Someone can't steal them and cash them. If the couple accidentally loses the gift in transit, I can follow up later and if they say "whoops, we must have lost it" I can just write another one. (I've never had to worry about a couple saying this, then cashing both checks.... cross your fingers. I have, however, had a guest steal the card [can you believe that?] only to find out they'd swiped it for nothing because it was a check.) B) They can use it for whatever they want. C) I feel silly buying plates and kitchen appliances. I'm sorry, but I do. - My knowledge of the human skull should concern you. - So I'm not allowed to link to my OWN PHOTOS? Right. See you later, Pricescope.
Posted: 9/24/2008 6:23:54 PM

P: 9/24/2008 6:32:31 PM
jmtomaui Cut Rock Total Posts: 344 Last Post: 11/21/2009 Member Since: 10/10/2006	I had to go with "OTHER". I do give a gift regardless of whether I attend the wedding or not. If they thought enough of me to invite me, I obviously think enough to them to want to celebrate their marriage. If I know the couple very well, I tend to try and select a personal gift based on who they are as a couple. Maybe some art, dinner at someplace that means a lot to them, wines from their favorite vineyard for them to celebrate future anniversaries, etc. If I do not feel I know them well enough to select the perfect personal gift, I give off of the registry as it must be something they want so I would rather play that safely. I have also given a check if the registry is rather picked over or if I know the (usually younger) couple is saving for something specific. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had to courage to start." John Bingham May you have the courage to start! Julie
Posted: 9/24/2008 6:32:31 PM

P: 9/24/2008 6:49:15 PM
bee* Ideal Rock Total Posts: 11,105 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 5/14/2006	We usually give money if we're going to the whole thing but if we can't attend, we will usually send a gift. For close friends, we call up a few days before the wedding and give the card but if it's colleagues etc, we will give it on the day.
Posted: 9/24/2008 6:49:15 PM

P: 9/24/2008 7:33:50 PM
Italiahaircolor Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,342 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 12/17/2007	I always give a gift...regardless of my attendance or not. However, if I do attend, I tend to give a nice card and cash...if we do not attend, I will order something around $100.00 off of their registry. Or, if it's a wedding where I do not know where they are registered and I don't feel like giving money for whatever reason...I go to my "fall back" gift...which is either, a stone sign with their last name, and the date they were established (like you'd see at a bar or something ... example: The Smiths est: April 2, 2008). Or, I have a copy of their invite engaged into a crystal block. ____________________________ Remember to keep your words soft and sweet...you may have to eat them someday.
Posted: 9/24/2008 7:33:50 PM

P: 9/24/2008 7:37:18 PM
qtiekiki Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,666 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 11/14/2004	I chose Other. I am like bee* and Italianhaircolor. We always give a gift whether we attend or not. We always give cash/check if we attend. If we are not attending, then we usually send a gift off the registry. __________________________ "New Year's Eve is amateur night and resolutions are for fools." - Phil Jackson
Posted: 9/24/2008 7:37:18 PM

P: 9/24/2008 7:55:03 PM
mimzy Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,812 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 7/17/2007	i think you're right musey, i think that it was pretty universally normal for people to just bring the check/cash in a card to the wedding opposed to sending it ahead of time, opposed to gifts which usually are sent ahead of time? (but maybe not?). if your guests know better than to bring a bulky gift to the reception, you might be in for a lot of present filled cards! but yeah, just tell your fmil that it's normal! [it's good to be good to people you don't understand]
Posted: 9/24/2008 7:55:03 PM

P: 9/24/2008 7:55:59 PM
musey Ideal Rock Total Posts: 11,165 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 9/30/2006	Date: 9/24/2008 7:33:50 PM Author: Italiahaircolor if it's a wedding where I do not know where they are registered and I don't feel like giving money for whatever reason...I go to my 'fall back' gift...which is either, a stone sign with their last name, and the date they were established (like you'd see at a bar or something ... example: The Smiths est: April 2, 2008). Or, I have a copy of their invite engaged into a crystal block. How CUTE are you?!! What great gift ideas!!
Posted: 9/24/2008 7:55:59 PM

P: 9/24/2008 8:14:59 PM
Sabine Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,883 Last Post: 11/21/2009 Member Since: 8/16/2007	I picked other, because I usually give a check if I attend the wedding, and send something small off the registry if I don't, unless it is a close friend, and then I usually pick something (either on or off the registry) that I really want to get them.
Posted: 9/24/2008 8:14:59 PM

P: 9/24/2008 9:10:42 PM
TheBigT Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,418 Last Post: 10/29/2009 Member Since: 1/28/2008	For someone I don't know that well, I usually get a gift off the registry and spend $75-$100 if I'm not going to the wedding; $150-$200 is I am going. I dunno why the price difference. For (and from) our closer friends and relatives, we have given (and received) engagement gifts that are from the registry. Then, we usually give money (checks in pretty wedding cards) at the wedding. But remember that guests have until a year after the wedding to actually give the gifts!
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:10:42 PM

P: 9/24/2008 9:39:18 PM
Italiahaircolor Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,342 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 12/17/2007	Date: 9/24/2008 7:55:59 PM Author: musey Date: 9/24/2008 7:33:50 PM Author: Italiahaircolor if it's a wedding where I do not know where they are registered and I don't feel like giving money for whatever reason...I go to my 'fall back' gift...which is either, a stone sign with their last name, and the date they were established (like you'd see at a bar or something ... example: The Smiths est: April 2, 2008). Or, I have a copy of their invite engaged into a crystal block. How CUTE are you?!! What great gift ideas!! LOL, thanks! I love giving gifts...and I put a lot of thought into what I give. And, I also love to take pictures...so, for the first year anniversary (yes, I gift for that too)...I usually either put together a really detailed scrapbook of the couples wedding...or, I put my computer to use and make a DVD of their pictures put to songs they used at their wedding, like their first dance--father/daughter--mother/son--cake cutting. Edit: I ment "engraved" not "engaged" in the original post. ____________________________ Remember to keep your words soft and sweet...you may have to eat them someday.
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:39:18 PM

P: 9/25/2008 10:05:31 AM
Amandine Ideal Rock Total Posts: 702 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 8/10/2007	Date: 9/24/2008 6:32:31 PM Author: jmtomaui I had to go with 'OTHER'. I do give a gift regardless of whether I attend the wedding or not. If they thought enough of me to invite me, I obviously think enough to them to want to celebrate their marriage. If I know the couple very well, I tend to try and select a personal gift based on who they are as a couple. Maybe some art, dinner at someplace that means a lot to them, wines from their favorite vineyard for them to celebrate future anniversaries, etc. If I do not feel I know them well enough to select the perfect personal gift, I give off of the registry as it must be something they want so I would rather play that safely. I have also given a check if the registry is rather picked over or if I know the (usually younger) couple is saving for something specific. Ditto. I picked the first option, but when I have been in the bridal party (and that would be seven times!), I usually pick a more personal gift, or ask them what they want the most.
Posted: 9/25/2008 10:05:31 AM

P: 9/25/2008 10:56:15 AM
Mediterranean Ideal Rock Total Posts: 578 Last Post: 6/3/2009 Member Since: 1/26/2008	Date: 9/24/2008 9:39:18 PM Author: Italiahaircolor Date: 9/24/2008 7:55:59 PM Author: musey Date: 9/24/2008 7:33:50 PM Author: Italiahaircolor if it's a wedding where I do not know where they are registered and I don't feel like giving money for whatever reason...I go to my 'fall back' gift...which is either, a stone sign with their last name, and the date they were established (like you'd see at a bar or something ... example: The Smiths est: April 2, 2008). Or, I have a copy of their invite engaged into a crystal block. How CUTE are you?!! What great gift ideas!! LOL, thanks! I love giving gifts...and I put a lot of thought into what I give. And, I also love to take pictures...so, for the first year anniversary (yes, I gift for that too)...I usually either put together a really detailed scrapbook of the couples wedding...or, I put my computer to use and make a DVD of their pictures put to songs they used at their wedding, like their first dance--father/daughter--mother/son--cake cutting. Edit: I ment 'engraved' not 'engaged' in the original post. Ditto Musey! Those are all very thoughtful and beautiful gifts! I bet a few of the slideshow/music DVD's have left not a dry eye n the house, I really love the DVD idea!
Posted: 9/25/2008 10:56:15 AM

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