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What is considered a long engagement?

P: 9/12/2008 4:55:09 AM
Dannielle Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,198 Last Post: 10/22/2009 Member Since: 7/8/2008	A girl I go to University with recently got engaged, she said that her and her now-fiance are planning a long engagement, and will be married in a year and a half. If we were to get engaged this year, we wouldn't be getting married for 3-4 years.. I consider that to be a long engagement. What does everyone here consider to be a long engagement? How long do you plan on being engaged? Walking down the aisle December 4th, 2010!
Posted: 9/12/2008 4:55:09 AM

There are 34 replies to this message. There are 30 replies on this page.

P: 9/12/2008 8:39:13 AM
neatfreak Ideal Rock Total Posts: 13,450 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 2/17/2007	I think anything over a year is on the longer side. My personal threshold is that anything over about 2 years is a long engagement to me. We were only engaged for 6 months.
Posted: 9/12/2008 8:39:13 AM

P: 9/12/2008 9:20:18 AM
NewEnglandLady Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,151 Last Post: 11/22/2009 Member Since: 7/27/2007	I second Neatfreak that anything over a year is considered long to me...I'd consider 2 years torture, haha. Ours was 7 months and it felt really long at times.
Posted: 9/12/2008 9:20:18 AM

P: 9/12/2008 9:44:01 AM
vespergirl Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,916 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 1/29/2007	I think it's anything over one year.
Posted: 9/12/2008 9:44:01 AM

P: 9/12/2008 9:53:19 AM
TheNextMrsB Rough Rock Total Posts: 44 Last Post: 12/10/2008 Member Since: 7/20/2008	Personally, I consider anything over 2 years to be a long engagement. If FF proposes when he says he will, we could easily be engaged for 5 or 6 years. I'll be in nursing school, and I doubt that I will have enough spare time to plan a wedding. (Unless FF will let me stop working and move in with him )
Posted: 9/12/2008 9:53:19 AM

P: 9/12/2008 10:00:35 AM
dcgator Cut Rock Total Posts: 344 Last Post: 8/31/2009 Member Since: 8/15/2008	I guess for every person, its different, since some people are engaged sooner then others. However, I would consider anything longer than a year to 18 months long, just because it would drive me nuts. I am hoping that FF proposes before the holidays, in which case we are aiming for a summer wedding. So hopefully, it will be a 8-10 month engagement.
Posted: 9/12/2008 10:00:35 AM

P: 9/12/2008 10:44:22 AM
absolut_blonde Ideal Rock Total Posts: 803 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 1/6/2008	I consider anything over 1 year to be long. Anything beyond that is just varying degrees of long. Anything over 2, to me, seems REALLY long. I'd like to keep ours at 1 year, max. Even more like 9 months would be ideal. If we were a bit younger (not that we're old, still mid-20s) then I probably wouldn't mind having a slightly longer engagement. But as it is, I want to get married already! LOL. Also want to be married for a little while before trying for kids.
Posted: 9/12/2008 10:44:22 AM

P: 9/12/2008 10:57:51 AM
Smurfysmiles Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,741 Last Post: 3/27/2009 Member Since: 9/30/2007	I think ours will be 1-2 years long. We talked about it and SO wants to be engaged just because I want that commitment to each other but also want some time to save up some money and be financially stable. Then again if it was sooner because daddy wanted to pay for the wedding, that would be ok too "It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." ~Rita Rudner I marry my best friend on 11/14/09!
Posted: 9/12/2008 10:57:51 AM

P: 9/12/2008 10:58:34 AM
jcarlylew Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,815 Last Post: 11/22/2009 Member Since: 6/27/2008	to me, anything over the 2 year mark, where they have not decided on a date, or they set their date (from 2 months after engagement) to 2 years + out. It's tricky for some if they say, get engaged in june, want to get married in december of the following year. for me thats not a long engagement, its just "awhile" _____________________________ i look at white bread like a young lover
Posted: 9/12/2008 10:58:34 AM

P: 9/12/2008 10:58:45 AM
ams0124 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 934 Last Post: 8/11/2009 Member Since: 8/6/2008	I'm pretty much in agreement with everyone else. Anything longer than 1 year I would consider to be a long engagement. To me the wait to just get engaged has been torture...Waiting a year to actually get married would be all that I could handle.
Posted: 9/12/2008 10:58:45 AM

P: 9/12/2008 11:03:36 AM
joflier Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,696 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 10/2/2007	Anything over 18 months would be a long engagement to me.
Posted: 9/12/2008 11:03:36 AM

P: 9/12/2008 11:06:27 AM
debzy103 Cut Rock Total Posts: 150 Last Post: 12/29/2008 Member Since: 8/21/2008	I think anything over 2 years can be considered a 'long' engagement. I think planning a wedding in less than 9-12 months will just feel really rushed. Plus, I live in NYC so event spaces book up years in advance! Planning a wedding in less than a year would mean going with any date that is open rather than us choosing our wedding date.
Posted: 9/12/2008 11:06:27 AM

P: 9/12/2008 11:28:17 AM
dreaming of the day Cut Rock Total Posts: 480 Last Post: 11/9/2009 Member Since: 6/12/2008	Well I think anything over two years is a long engagement! For me, it depends when my FF proposes - if by the end of the year I may consider planning a summer'09 wedding, but if he proposes after that it will be summer'10. If he does in fact propose in early 2009, even though it will be over a year and a half, I will not consider it a long engagement.
Posted: 9/12/2008 11:28:17 AM

P: 9/12/2008 11:39:41 AM
diamondrnglover Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,200 Last Post: 11/22/2009 Member Since: 12/12/2006	I think anything over a year is a long engagement, I was engaged for 5 months lol we had to do some pretty fast planning for our wedding.
Posted: 9/12/2008 11:39:41 AM

P: 9/12/2008 12:00:28 PM
bee* Ideal Rock Total Posts: 11,103 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 5/14/2006	I think that anything over 2 years to me is a long engagement. Our engagement is just over a year and a half and it has gone quick enough though.
Posted: 9/12/2008 12:00:28 PM

P: 9/12/2008 12:07:55 PM
swingirl Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,283 Last Post: 11/22/2009 Member Since: 4/6/2006	Since it usually takes about 1 to 1 1/2 years to plan a wedding anything over that I'd consider a long engagement. It means you aren't planning a wedding but instead are going to stay in the holding position for quite a while. Engagement usually means ring and a date. But since everyone's situation is different who can say what is long or short.
Posted: 9/12/2008 12:07:55 PM

P: 9/12/2008 1:23:45 PM
musey Ideal Rock Total Posts: 11,162 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 9/30/2006	The duration I'm most used to seeing in my circle is somewhere between 14-18 months. Ours will be 20. I'm of the mind that getting engaged means "we're getting married! let's go!" rather than "I plan to marry you eventually." I was ready to marry FI "tomorrow" when he proposed; our 20-month engagement was necessitated only by logistics. However, if "logistics" had forced us into anything longer, we would have just massively downsized our event instead of putting it off longer to plan/save/etc.
Posted: 9/12/2008 1:23:45 PM

P: 9/12/2008 1:36:39 PM
SailorsSweet<3 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 712 Last Post: 4/8/2009 Member Since: 9/10/2008	For me, a year and a half seems standard. Just enough time to plan everything without making your fiance, family, and yourself crazy. I agree that 3-4 years seems more like a timespan that would be called a "long engagement" for the rest of my life I will search for moments full of you ♥
Posted: 9/12/2008 1:36:39 PM

P: 9/12/2008 1:42:05 PM
Diamond Confused Cut Rock Total Posts: 395 Last Post: 7/29/2009 Member Since: 1/14/2008	Date: 9/12/2008 4:55:09 AM Author:Dannielle A girl I go to University with recently got engaged, she said that her and her now-fiance are planning a long engagement, and will be married in a year and a half. If we were to get engaged this year, we wouldn't be getting married for 3-4 years.. I consider that to be a long engagement. What does everyone here consider to be a long engagement? How long do you plan on being engaged? My ring is in the house so he'll be proposing soon. We both know we will have a long engagement because I just started med school. We are looking at a 4 year engagement too. I think that's a long engagement. I definitly don't think a year and a half is long at all. It's just right to plan a wedding. Personally I think a long engagement is nice. You'll only be engaged for a small amount of time as compared to being married which is (hopefully) forever. Enjoy it while it lasts!
Posted: 9/12/2008 1:42:05 PM

P: 9/12/2008 2:44:25 PM
Italiahaircolor Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,337 Last Post: 11/22/2009 Member Since: 12/17/2007	3-4 years is a very, very long engagement....2 years is a long engagement ____________________________ Remember to keep your words soft and sweet...you may have to eat them someday.
Posted: 9/12/2008 2:44:25 PM

P: 9/12/2008 3:05:36 PM
Addy Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,915 Last Post: 11/18/2009 Member Since: 10/20/2007	Before I planned my own wedding I would have said anything over a year is a long time. Having planned my own wedding and knowing the area I live in I'd now consider anything over two years to be a long time.
Posted: 9/12/2008 3:05:36 PM

P: 9/12/2008 3:19:33 PM
snlee Ideal Rock Total Posts: 5,449 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 10/6/2004	I think anything over 1-1.5 years is considered a long engagement.
Posted: 9/12/2008 3:19:33 PM

P: 9/12/2008 4:37:35 PM
*DiamondDana** Ideal Rock Total Posts: 6,168 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 7/21/2006	We were engaged 17 months and it was perfect for us! I was in nursing school when we got engaged, so I did not have much time for planning. We had been dating for 5 years when we got engaged, so waiting another year or so was really not a big deal. That 17 months gave me time to finish nursing school, plan our wedding and buy a house (we both lived at home until we got married). I think that it is just a matter of personal preference. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you judge people, you have no time to love them ~Mother Teresa
Posted: 9/12/2008 4:37:35 PM

P: 9/12/2008 4:48:19 PM
vetrik Rough Rock Total Posts: 75 Last Post: 10/6/2009 Member Since: 9/6/2008	I think over 2 years is long. I know a couple people who got engaged and didn't even set a date (or even a time frame for the wedding) for months, that seemed a little unusual to me. I was engaged for a year and a half. We got engaged in November, I wanted a May wedding and 6 months was too fast to plan for me. That ended up being perfect, and we got the exact wedding date we wanted. It seemed pretty long at the time, but looking back, it went so quickly!
Posted: 9/12/2008 4:48:19 PM

P: 9/12/2008 8:32:31 PM
Dannielle Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,198 Last Post: 10/22/2009 Member Since: 7/8/2008	Hmmm.. I feel a little strange now. I have a (very slight) suspicion that my SO is going to propose on a suprise weekend away he has planned for us in about 3 weeks.. however, as I stated, we wouldn't get getting married for atleast years. This is due to me being at university and SO just beginning his career and supporting me- the only way we could afford a wedding is to take money from our parents, which we don't want to do, or get a loan which we don't want to do. I suppose we are young so people might expect us to wait a little longer to get married.. Ahh.. I'm getting so far ahead of myself Thank-you for all the replies Walking down the aisle December 4th, 2010!
Posted: 9/12/2008 8:32:31 PM

P: 9/12/2008 11:11:03 PM
trillionaire Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,125 Last Post: 11/21/2009 Member Since: 4/19/2008	18 months+ seems long to me. I knew a couple that was engaged for 3 years, which I think is excruciatingly long. Personally, I would get married the day after I got engaged, so yeah. Okay, maybe a week... ******************************** Engaged: 7/18/09! Elopement: 9/25/10, our 7th anniversary! * Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look past the imperfections *
Posted: 9/12/2008 11:11:03 PM

P: 9/13/2008 12:01:53 AM
misscuppycake Cut Rock Total Posts: 110 Last Post: 11/1/2008 Member Since: 1/11/2008	A lot of people have already said it but I definitely second the notion of anything over a year being too long. For me, an engagement is really just preparation for the wedding so there's no point in doing it before you actually decide to plan the wedding.
Posted: 9/13/2008 12:01:53 AM

P: 9/13/2008 7:50:46 AM
Addy Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,915 Last Post: 11/18/2009 Member Since: 10/20/2007	Don't feel odd about it. Just do what feels right for you. We were engaged for 18 months and needed the entire time to plan. If you have a 3-4 year engagement, just don't start planning yet. It's not a situation I'd want to be in, but it's your relationship, not mine. I have a friend who has been engaged since 2005 with no plans in place yet and a co-worker who has been engaged since at least 2002 with no plans in place to marry yet. For them, the engagement was a way to make a solid committment to each other and the world. It works for me. Maybe a 3-4 year engagement works for you as well.
Posted: 9/13/2008 7:50:46 AM

P: 9/13/2008 8:48:38 AM
icekid Ideal Rock Total Posts: 6,555 Last Post: 11/22/2009 Member Since: 11/17/2004	I'd say over 18 months is long. We were engaged for about 22 months, due to logistical problems (being in medical school). However, Diamond Confused- we did get married during med school so it is certainly doable! For me, getting engaged means we are ready to get married. So a 4 year engagement would not make sense for me. Do what feels comfortable and right for you though!
Posted: 9/13/2008 8:48:38 AM

P: 9/13/2008 8:58:03 AM
DandiAndi Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,001 Last Post: 11/21/2009 Member Since: 1/9/2006	Heck, do what's right for you, dear! My husband and I were engaged for nearly 3 years. I was only 22 when we were engaged so I was happy to wait anyway! In that time we sold houses, built a new one, both changed jobs, and the long timespan enabled us to slowly pick at wedding planning, as full-on preparation would have struggled to fit into our already busy lives! Ultimately we were able to pay for absolutely everything in cash along the way, and saved money through having the time for DIY aspects of the wedding, ie. invitiations (made completely from scratch, THAT was a task!! ), placecards etc etc. AND it was less stress!!! The end result was that we were completely out of debt as far as the wedding was concerned, and for us it was a relatively easy, stress-free event. Everyone's situation is different. I used to get irritated when our reasons for such a long engagement were questioned, but whatever the 'ideal' timeframe is, doesn't mean it applies to every couple. A long engagement sure worked for us!!
Posted: 9/13/2008 8:58:03 AM

P: 9/13/2008 11:23:28 AM
PrincessDijon Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,389 Last Post: 10/22/2009 Member Since: 7/7/2008	I'm saying anything over two years...After I propose on the 21st to the FFI, he still has about a year and a half of school left plus I am in the midst of a career change and I want to give him time to find a steady job and for us to save. Needless to say we will be engaged 2-3 years...So, I will be joining the "Long Engagement Club" shortly!
Posted: 9/13/2008 11:23:28 AM

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