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ť Is it ok to skip e-ring and give her a wedding band??

Is it ok to skip e-ring and give her a wedding band??

P: 9/6/2008 2:03:43 AM
gemnewb Rough Rock Total Posts: 17 Last Post: 9/9/2008 Member Since: 8/30/2008	Ok. I have no idea about jewerly and marriage. Me and my fiancee are going to elope. I did not buy her an e-ring and was wondering is it ok to just get her a 5 stone 1 ct wedding band for her to wear? I mean is considered normal?
Posted: 9/6/2008 2:03:43 AM

There are 27 replies to this message. There are 27 replies on this page.

P: 9/6/2008 2:08:39 AM
SarahLovesJS Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,972 Last Post: 11/19/2009 Member Since: 2/3/2008	Have you talked to her about it? I think that should be first step. But if she's okay with it, I say go for it! If she doesn't want/need an e-ring then there's nothing wrong with a gorgeous wedding band. Hope that helps some! Mrs. S<3JS
Posted: 9/6/2008 2:08:39 AM

P: 9/6/2008 2:10:44 AM
brazen_irish_hussy Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,535 Last Post: 12/27/2008 Member Since: 6/13/2006	Normal? no, but I am not a big fan of normal. Personally, I have and ering and will have no band. However, I think a lot of women would be bothered by not having an ering so you have to figure out what SHE thinks. I would be ok with it if it were a very expensive, amazing Van Craeynest for example, but that would cost more than my ering I suspect. Out of curiosity, why do you just want to do the band and not the ering?
Posted: 9/6/2008 2:10:44 AM

P: 9/6/2008 2:14:27 AM
gemnewb Rough Rock Total Posts: 17 Last Post: 9/9/2008 Member Since: 8/30/2008	Because I have friends who are married and they wear their e-ring 2-3 times a year. I wanted to get her something that she could wear more often. A solitaire e-ring can go for 3-5, while I can just get her a 5 stone wedding band that is 2-3k. And I thought a low setting wedding band would be much easier to wear day to day. Any thoughts?
Posted: 9/6/2008 2:14:27 AM

P: 9/6/2008 2:14:46 AM
JulieN Ideal Rock Total Posts: 7,141 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 7/25/2005	She is your fiancee, so you must have proposed, and she said yes without a ring. I guess it's ok?
Posted: 9/6/2008 2:14:46 AM

P: 9/6/2008 2:16:20 AM
JulieN Ideal Rock Total Posts: 7,141 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 7/25/2005	Some people wear them every day, some people don't. You'll never know which one she is until she has one. Please talk to her about it!
Posted: 9/6/2008 2:16:20 AM

P: 9/6/2008 2:18:17 AM
gemnewb Rough Rock Total Posts: 17 Last Post: 9/9/2008 Member Since: 8/30/2008	We werent really that big into the whole engagement thing. We are going to just elope and get married in Vegas =) However I just wanted to give her something nice when we got married. And i thought nice wedding band would be more practical then a solitaire e ring. But that could just be me thinking as a guy. Help?
Posted: 9/6/2008 2:18:17 AM

P: 9/6/2008 2:19:34 AM
kittybean Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,069 Last Post: 11/16/2009 Member Since: 5/2/2008	I think the above posters have given you excellent advice. Not having an engagement ring is not considered "normal," but every relationship is different. Each couple should individually define what is "normal" or what works for them. Consequently, what works for one may or may not work for the other. Therefore, it's really important that you talk to your future wife about what her expectations are, what your budget is, what your expectations are, and what you both want as far as jewelry to symbolize your commitment. As long as you have open communication about all this, I don't think you can go wrong. (As I'm sure you understand, the sharing of hopes, expectations, and fears, and working through them all together is a great way to begin a solid marriage, too.)
Posted: 9/6/2008 2:19:34 AM

P: 9/6/2008 2:21:51 AM
kittybean Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,069 Last Post: 11/16/2009 Member Since: 5/2/2008	Date: 9/6/2008 2:18:17 AM Author: gemnewb We werent really that big into the whole engagement thing. We are going to just elope and get married in Vegas =) However I just wanted to give her something nice when we got married. And i thought nice wedding band would be more practical then a solitaire e ring. But that could just be me thinking as a guy. Help? This is why you should talk to her about what she would like or expect. I think that is where you will find your answers.
Posted: 9/6/2008 2:21:51 AM

P: 9/6/2008 2:33:28 AM
heraanderson Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,139 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 7/13/2007	Date: 9/6/2008 2:14:27 AM Author: gemnewb Because I have friends who are married and they wear their e-ring 2-3 times a year. I wanted to get her something that she could wear more often. A solitaire e-ring can go for 3-5, while I can just get her a 5 stone wedding band that is 2-3k. And I thought a low setting wedding band would be much easier to wear day to day. Any thoughts? yeah, it depends on what she would like. Though your firiends wear their ering 2-3 times a year she may decide that she'll wear hers year round. I know because I have friends that only wear their eternity style (diamond band) ring and do the same and wear their ering on special occasions. I choose to wear mine everyday. It's really a personal choice.
Posted: 9/6/2008 2:33:28 AM

P: 9/6/2008 3:58:54 AM
bee* Ideal Rock Total Posts: 11,094 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 5/14/2006	If she's happy with it, then go for it. There's no reason that you can't just have a wedding band.
Posted: 9/6/2008 3:58:54 AM

P: 9/6/2008 9:15:46 AM
HollyS Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,098 Last Post: 11/18/2009 Member Since: 7/18/2007	If SHE is okay with a diamond wedding band in place of an ering, it would be absolutely fine. In fact, in some ways, even though I love my ering, I have often thought that would have been a more practical and more 'me' choice. And if she is okay with it, I'll let you in on a secret: women love variety. Maybe you've noticed that here on PS. I would get two rings; yes, two rings. Give her the blingy kind that she'll be expecting after your talk (and be prepared that she may want to 'help' you pick that one); and then surprise her with a smaller, plain or engraved or her favorite gemstone, to wear with the other, or alone when wearing diamonds is not the best idea. Stacking different rings is a trend today, but I think it is a trend to stay; and if you look at some of the threads re: stacking here on PS, you'll see that woman love having options! But, really, only your FI can tell you for sure what would make her happy. Every woman wants to be supremely happy with her wedding rings; be certain about what will do that for her. _____________________________ "I cannot live without books." - Thomas Jefferson
Posted: 9/6/2008 9:15:46 AM

P: 9/6/2008 10:29:30 AM
SuLi Cut Rock Total Posts: 439 Last Post: 2/14/2009 Member Since: 4/25/2007	I definitely think that you should talk to her about it. If she is fine with it, then go ahead and get the band. I'm sure that it will be lovely! My friends did something similar, but opposite. Her fiance gave her a beautifully etched platinum band with diamonds in it for her engagement ring. She opted to skip the wedding band and just wear the e-ring as her only band.
Posted: 9/6/2008 10:29:30 AM

P: 9/6/2008 10:48:07 AM
sna77 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,022 Last Post: 7/20/2009 Member Since: 11/2/2006	Date: 9/6/2008 2:03:43 AM Author:gemnewb Ok. I have no idea about jewerly and marriage. Me and my fiancee are going to elope. I did not buy her an e-ring and was wondering is it ok to just get her a 5 stone 1 ct wedding band for her to wear? I mean is considered normal? are you american? Its not normal in the states, but other parts of the world are very diffenret... I just got back from 3 weeks in Italy and noticed that very few woemend wore 2 bands... and almsot no men wore a wedding band... I sat next to an English couple who teased me for wearing a wedding band, but not having my pinky ring with my families coat of arms on it?! wtf.. ;)
Posted: 9/6/2008 10:48:07 AM

P: 9/6/2008 10:50:10 AM
fiery Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,104 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 5/18/2008	It depends. If an e-ring is not in your budget and/or you guys are just not the kind of couple that place emphasis on things like an e-ring then do what you want to do. A 5 stone can be a beautiful ring even as an e-ring. My Director has a 5 stone e-ring with an eternity band and it's beautiful. Sometimes she wears the bands separately. However, if the only reason why you want to just get her the band is because you "have no idea about jewelry", then to me that's an excuse. You're on PS. You can't be on a better site to get the knowledge for picking the right e-ring. Heck, you could even go into Rocky Talky, say what size of a diamond you would like and let people like Lorelei and diamondseeker pick a gorgeous stone for you. Ignorance is no excuse when you have a wealth of knowledge at your fingertips.
Posted: 9/6/2008 10:50:10 AM

P: 9/6/2008 10:55:16 AM
rubybeth Cut Rock Total Posts: 330 Last Post: 5/24/2009 Member Since: 11/12/2007	Definitely going to echo what others have written, but add that there are lots of reasons to either not get an e-ring or get a different 'style' or e-ring. One of my friends is just not a 'flashy' type, and she knew she wanted the romantic proposal with ring. She got a 1 ctw. diamond band, and a smaller version of that band as her wedding band. They look awesome together, but aren't traditional at all. Others I know don't wear their e-rings due to their professions--nurses, dental professionals, etc. so maybe a lower-profile band (or two) would be right up your girlfriend's alley. Talk to her about her expectations! Some women would rather have a fabulous honeymoon/home/etc. than a rock. "See the girl with the diamond ring/She knows how to shake that thing." Ray Charles
Posted: 9/6/2008 10:55:16 AM

P: 9/6/2008 11:57:37 AM
mjso Cut Rock Total Posts: 248 Last Post: 4/25/2009 Member Since: 12/31/2007	I definitely agree that you should just ask her. My mom doesn't have an engagement ring, she didn't want one, doesn't need one. She just wears a plain gold weddng band. She's not a big jewlery person. And really neither am I. The only piece of jewlery I currently own is my e-ring. I wanted one, but mainly probably due to the whole cultural thing of getting down on one knee, opening the ring box and proposing. She is really the only one who can tell you if she really wants one. Plus, asking on this forum may get you a skewed opinion of if it is necessary or not...seeing that it is a diamond forum. People who are here, generally really like jewlery, so it would be a very important aspect to many people on here.
Posted: 9/6/2008 11:57:37 AM

P: 9/6/2008 12:09:50 PM
musey Ideal Rock Total Posts: 11,155 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 9/30/2006	Date: 9/6/2008 2:18:17 AM Author: gemnewb We werent really that big into the whole engagement thing. We are going to just elope and get married in Vegas =) However I just wanted to give her something nice when we got married. And i thought nice wedding band would be more practical then a solitaire e ring. But that could just be me thinking as a guy. Help? We can't. All we can tell you is "Yes, it's fine to do that, if SHE is happy with it." Talk to HER.
Posted: 9/6/2008 12:09:50 PM

P: 9/6/2008 12:21:49 PM
mia1181 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,383 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 10/25/2006	I like your idea! In fact, do you think in the future if she wanted you could also afford to get her an engagement ring that she could pick out herself? It's definitely unconventional, but what about going about it backwards? I mean first off, most of the people that I know that eloped (especially spur of the moment) the woman just wears a wedding band. But what if you pick out her wedding band and she gets to pick out the E-ring? My FI got to pick my E-ring and I picked me W-band. Part of me does wish it went the other way around. Not that I don't adore my e-ring, but it E-rings are so personalizable while wedding bands are more plain to me. Anyway, definitely feel her out for what SHE is into. Would she only want to wear one ring anyway? Is she a diamond girl? Would she like to pick something out herself or does she want you to do it?
Posted: 9/6/2008 12:21:49 PM

P: 9/6/2008 1:20:59 PM
violet3 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,776 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 12/18/2007	I think that would be beautiful, as long as she is Ok with it. Particularly since you don't have a formal ering, it's a great idea to get something really beautiful and special for the wedding. I agree that you should ask her what she thinks, but i do commend you on trying to make her feel special. There have been some really beautiful five stone rings on here and i think they make a lovely statement. two people on here have this beautiful ring below (can't remember whos) -- it inspired whiteflash to make one available on thier website. I think they are beautiful! Here's the whiteflash link.. http://www.whiteflash.com/Wedding_Bands/Five-Stone-U-Prong-Ring_1213.htm and one of the rings from a PSer...
Posted: 9/6/2008 1:20:59 PM

P: 9/6/2008 2:28:03 PM
gemnewb Rough Rock Total Posts: 17 Last Post: 9/9/2008 Member Since: 8/30/2008	Wow! Thank you all for your lovely advice =) I will speak to her this weekend and let everyone know what we plan to do.
Posted: 9/6/2008 2:28:03 PM

P: 9/6/2008 5:44:54 PM
karasue91 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 904 Last Post: 1/31/2009 Member Since: 8/27/2007	Date: 9/6/2008 2:18:17 AM Author: gemnewb We werent really that big into the whole engagement thing. We are going to just elope and get married in Vegas =) However I just wanted to give her something nice when we got married. And i thought nice wedding band would be more practical then a solitaire e ring. But that could just be me thinking as a guy. Help? Hi there! I just wanted to add my two cents because I was not a traditional e-ring girl. I wanted an eternity band, and did not plan on getting a wedding band until a few months before my wedding. I decided to get a plain band in addition to my wedding band because there are lots of times when I don't want to wear the diamonds but I still like wearing the band (going to the gym and we are renovating to our house a lot, etc). My ring that turned out to be my engagement ring is very similar to the photo violet3 posted, only the diamonds aren't as big and they go all the way around the ring. My wedding band is just a plain platinum band (to match the metal of my engagement ring). I agree that you should definitely talk to her first, but I just wanted to say that what you are thinking is very similar to what I thought when I knew DH was going to propose. I wanted something that was different than the traditional engagement ring, and I knew a ring with a diamond that stuck up off my finger would really annoy me catching on things, etc. HTH a little!!
Posted: 9/6/2008 5:44:54 PM

P: 9/8/2008 8:08:54 AM
Daydreamer7130 Cut Rock Total Posts: 200 Last Post: 5/12/2009 Member Since: 8/16/2007	When my DH and I were talking about getting married, I told him that I did not want an engagement ring. I just wanted a wedding band. We actually found wedding bands that were special to us and had meaning to us and decided on them. Because the wedding band was thick, I really insisted on no engagement ring because I thought there would be no way that one would look nice next to the band and that both rings would take up my whole finger and get in the way. Well, he insisted on an engagement ring and purchased the wedding bands first then took them all around to stores finding an engagement ring band that would look nice. He told me the story after we got engaged because the whole thing was a complete suprise. I had no idea that he purchased the wedding bands or was looking so hard to find an engagement ring to go with it. Moral of the story.... do what is best for you and what you both want and what is special or has meaning to you. Is that normal? yes. I really would not lose any sleep on what other people think and what their idea of normal is- especially here in the states. Like I read by another poster, some cultures are more unforgiving than others. (the family coat of arms???) I thought that our story was a good one of being considerate for the other person's feelings, wants and desires and the almighty compromise. All while incorporating what was special to "us" as a couple. BTW, I love my rings (wedding band and engagement ring). He did a GREAT job with the engagement ring and the look is perfect. Good luck!
Posted: 9/8/2008 8:08:54 AM

P: 9/8/2008 12:23:17 PM
SanDiegoLady Ideal Rock Total Posts: 14,203 Last Post: 11/19/2009 Member Since: 7/6/2005	I had a former co-worker give a five stone band as the engagement ring and an additional five stone band as his fi's wedding band.. it was pretty. What about a nice fat eternity band? They're beautiful and timeless and if at some point later she wants a solitaire, its still a timeless look.
Posted: 9/8/2008 12:23:17 PM

P: 9/8/2008 12:49:41 PM
MaggieB Ideal Rock Total Posts: 638 Last Post: 8/27/2009 Member Since: 1/22/2008	I haven't read through the whole thread so I hope I am not repeating. If you are engaged and she doesn't have a ring, I would interpret this is as, she's not expecting an e-ring after the fact. Because I know that if I were asked "will you marry me?" and there was no e-ring sitting there, I wouldn't expect it to turn up on my pillow later. so - that said, I would then LOVE to get a wedding band that has some extra oomph, like what you have described. None of this would prevent you a few years down the road from picking an e-ring together for a lovely anniversary present.
Posted: 9/8/2008 12:49:41 PM

P: 9/9/2008 7:50:09 AM
MishB Cut Rock Total Posts: 483 Last Post: 11/19/2009 Member Since: 8/17/2008	That was exactly our situation, we were never 'engaged' we just decided to get married (we eloped as well) so I would have felt very odd wearing an 'engagement' ring. I have a 5 stone 1 carat antique band that I wear every day. It wasn't a matter of what we could afford, going by the 1-3 months salary 'rule' I could have had a very big rock, but it's just not me. I'm not jewelry deprived though, I've picked up some very nice pieces for anniversaries and birthdays.
Posted: 9/9/2008 7:50:09 AM

P: 9/9/2008 6:34:38 PM
gemnewb Rough Rock Total Posts: 17 Last Post: 9/9/2008 Member Since: 8/30/2008	Thanks for everyone's ideas and advice. What we decided was to buy 2 plain platinum wedding bands and elope in las vegas. That way we can just spend as much in las vegas and i can put a meaningful engravement on the rings. Because of her life style - she will not have much time to even put an expensive ring on anyways. I will be getting her a 500k house soon too. And i will get her a ring with bling later down the road. So thats the plan =) Thanks again!!
Posted: 9/9/2008 6:34:38 PM

P: 9/9/2008 7:18:34 PM
kittybean Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,069 Last Post: 11/16/2009 Member Since: 5/2/2008	So glad to hear that you spoke with your intended and came up with a good plan for both of you. Congrats in advance to you both! Wishing you lots of happiness...
Posted: 9/9/2008 7:18:34 PM

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