It takes a lot for me to lose my sense of humor…

So…yeah.

I’m not normally a venter.  At all.  And if I do, I do it in real life and not on the net.  But I find myself in a situation where I don’t want to vent about it to anyone I know, because this still upsets me and I can’t talk about it without getting a bit fired up. 

Therefore, wouldja all mind if I shared here?  Maybe I can write it out, post it, feel heard, get some good suggestions on how to enact revenge and then move on without counseling.  Hee.

My father passed away two months ago.  My mother chose the funeral home and without going into it, my brother and I knew the place was dodgy. But she wanted a Korean owned place and we wanted her to be comfy, so that was that.

They performed all services as agreed.  No problems there.  The guy who owned the place (let’s call him “MM” for Mortuary Man) and who assisted with my dad’s funeral was a bit annoying in the sense that he was all business and directive (is that a word?)  He ordered people here and there and told us to line up here and there and greet people there and here, etc etc. 

At the burial site, we had another service, and when it was all over, MM came up in front of everyone who was lingering and shooed them all away with his hands, saying, Go, there is nothing more to see here.

But there was something for ME to see.   I stood there, alone, after everyone milled away toward their cars and watched them lower my dad into the ground.  Crying, still very much in grief, with good thoughts of my dad in mind and talking to him with my heart.

Suddenly MM appeared by my side and told me to go tip the guy who was cleaning the flowers (the guy was one of his employees).

If I were my normal self, I may have tore him to shreds (or at least been very direct and told him to go to hell and leave me alone with my final few minutes looking at my dad’s coffin).  But I was so numb with grief that I shuffled off to find someone who had cash because I didn’t think to bring any for my dad’s funeral.

My lasting memories of my dad’s funeral (as much as I have tried to change things in my mind) are of that stupid man telling a grieving daughter that she needed to tip someone.  Could he not have waited?  I was visibly CRYING for god's sake.  I hate that our society is a litigious one, but boy, if I could sue the pants off the guy for making me STILL cry when I think about it, I would. 

Other scenarios I’ve thought about is to unleash some fleas (which have plagued our apartment building) into his place of business, but that would not be very fair to the next grieving, unsuspecting family who use them.  Then I thought….roaches! They are hard to eradicate and perhaps it would stop someone from using them after seeing a roach poke out from a stack of papers and scurry across a desk. 

And then, I just realize that I have to build a bridge and get over it.  So here I am…about 4 years into pricescope and my first real vent!  Well, I think I vented about a certain wedding guestbook…so I guess both my vents have to do with funerals!

Gah.

Skippy

"The only things that stand between a person and what they want in life are the will to try it, and the faith to believe it's possible" Rich Devos

*** Dreamer ***

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Piece of cake and a candle.
**ng gift**

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Feeling Blue and Blech Today

OK, I think I've got it now.  TGal, I am SO sorry you had to deal with this JACKASS!!!  I don't think I've ever heard of anyone who made a more wrong career choice than this jerk did.  Ugh!  I just can't imagine treating a grieving daughter that way at her own father's funeral!  WTF?!?!  You just let me know when we're going over there! 

~Emm

"Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie." ~ Mae West

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"Hello Dollies"

Combine 1 stick melted butter and 2 cups graham cracker crumbs. Press in greased 9x13 pan. On top, layer 1 package chocolate chips, 1 package peanut butter chips, 1 12oz can lightly salted peanuts. Top with 1 small can sweetened condensed milk (I use fat free big deal!). Bake at 350 for 25 minutes (the edges should be bubbly). I recommend not cutting them until the next day because it seems to take that long for the graham cracker bottom to really harden.

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Travel quote of the week: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -Mark Twain

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Piece of cake and a candle.
**ng gift**

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Travel quote of the week: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -Mark Twain

Date: 8/30/2008 10:44:23 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 8/30/2008 10:41:01 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 8/30/2008 10:35:07 PM
Author: FireGoddess
Wow, just reading that makes my blood boil.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. When you are ready to do so, this place deserves a reckoning.

In addition to what has been mentioned, I'd suggest posting 'reviews' of this place anywhere online that people might look. Or taking out an ad in the local Korean newspaper (is there one?). This @sshole deserves some fire and brimstone. And a swift kick to the head.

Great idea FG.

TGal, is MM the owner or an employee?

I believe he is the owner Kaleigh...I'd have to check but I remember my mom telling me he was.

You know, I always said one should not let things eat at them...the only loser is the person who is getting eaten alive. But in this case, I wish there was something I could do to spare another family the same grief. An ad in the paper? Hm. I'd probably get sued for slander. Koreans are getting the hang of the great American dream of suing...

Honestly, I may just start with a letter...maybe I'll craft it this week and see what you all think. I'll ask my brother if the guy speaks English...he had to deal with him to arrange the funeral but I think my mom was there too so they were mostly speaking Korean.

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Piece of cake and a candle.
**ng gift**

Date: 8/30/2008 11:56:21 PM
Author: decodelighted
OH NO! I am FURIOUS for you. Can't think of *what* to do. In a perverse kind of way it's like a tap on the shoulder saying 'Life in all its extreme pettiness *does* go on & on & on & on'. Like a cosmic bad joke? Gallows humor? Like: 'We interrupt your tragedy for these commercial messages'.

BBB sounds like a good start. 'fraid a letter would fall on deaf ears of one so incredibly insensitive. But sometimes the release is just in the writing of it.

I'm so sorry for your loss. WARM HUG.

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Travel quote of the week: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -Mark Twain

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Remember to keep your words soft and sweet...you may have to eat them someday.

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Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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VRBeauty

Thursday is the new Friday.

"Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say and not giving a damn." -Gore Vidal