Pearlmansjewelers.com
 

Diamond Jewelry Forums   Picture Gallery   Video Gallery   Journal

   
 Search Posted Today Most Active Help   
 » Home »  » Proposals, Weddings and More »  » Bride World Wide & Grooms Grooves »  » to invite or not to invite?


  

 to invite or not to invite?

P:  8/29/2008 4:18:53 PM  
elrohwen
elrohwen

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 1,949
Last Post: 11/24/2009
Member Since: 5/20/2008
 
I'm really up in the air about whether to invite my mom's family or not. I have a grandma and two uncles who I never see (never even met one of the uncles). My grandma is pretty psycho and she and my mom go for long periods of time without talking (my grandma gets so mean that my mom refues to deal with her ... last time they didn't talk it was for 15 years). I really don't want to invite them as I have no relationship with them and the few times I've seen them they haven't been particularly nice.

My only concern is that they did put a lot of money towards my education. I'm the only child in the family and they put a high value on education, so they gave us money that allowed me to go to a private school over a public school. I've have always expressed gratitude and I feel like inviting them to my wedding is one more way to say thank you. I guess I feel like I owe them. But then I go through periods where I don't want them to come because they'll just make other people miserable (me and my mom, mostly).

My mom is ok with whatever I decide, but we both agree that if we invite them, we hope they don't come. So should I just suck it up and invite them (while crossing my fingers that they don't show)? Or should I not bother? At this point I'm not even sure they know I'm engaged, but they'll find out eventually. If it wasn't for their financial help during my college years, I wouldn't think twice about not inviting them.

~Elrohwen
Posted:  8/29/2008 4:18:53 PM

 There are 9 replies to this message.  There are 9 replies on this page.

P: 8/29/2008 4:30:02 PM
trillionaire
trillionaire

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 3,132
Last Post: 11/24/2009
Member Since: 4/19/2008
 
 I would probably invite them.  Weddings are a one time thing, and paying for your education is kind of a huge thing. 




********************************
Engaged: 7/18/09!
Elopement: 9/25/10, our 7th anniversary!

* Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look past the imperfections *

Posted:  8/29/2008 4:30:02 PM
P: 8/29/2008 4:31:41 PM
gtn
gtn

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 748
Last Post: 12/5/2008
Member Since: 10/24/2007
 
hmmm.. that is a tough one. I would invite them, but that is just me. I don't know how horrible they are IRL. Given your relationship with them, do you think they will attend? Will they care? If you really don't want them there, don't invite them. Send them a wedding announcement after the fact.

Posted:  8/29/2008 4:31:41 PM
P: 8/29/2008 5:59:22 PM
Blair138
Blair138

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 1,106
Last Post: 11/24/2009
Member Since: 4/8/2008
 
I think I would invite them while crossing your fingers that they do not come! I agree that paying for your education is a very big thing. You can seat them in the back at the reception and ignore them if you have to! Good luck!

Posted:  8/29/2008 5:59:22 PM
P: 8/29/2008 6:00:59 PM
diamondfan
diamondfan

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 10,998
Last Post: 11/23/2009
Member Since: 6/17/2005
 
I might just put it out there and hope they chose to not attend. Win win for you as you cannot be accused of slighting them...but you do not have to deal with them either!

****************************
"There is no such thing as fun for the whole family-there are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry" Jerry Seinfeld

Posted:  8/29/2008 6:00:59 PM
P: 8/29/2008 6:12:09 PM
Italiahaircolor
Italiahaircolor

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 4,342
Last Post: 11/24/2009
Member Since: 12/17/2007
 
Include everybody, exclude nobody.  They might come, they might not...but you'll always know you did the right thing.  And beside, at your wedding, I promise you you won't be spending a lot of time with any one person aside from your newly crowned DH.

____________________________
Remember to keep your words soft and sweet...you may have to eat them someday.

Posted:  8/29/2008 6:12:09 PM
P: 8/29/2008 8:11:52 PM
tessari
tessari

Cut Rock
Total Posts: 166
Last Post: 10/18/2009
Member Since: 6/27/2008
 
I don't know the exact circumstances, but I say invite them. They are your mom's immediate family, and even though you feel this way about them now, you may regret it some day. Don't mean to sound too preachy but I lost both my grandparents last year and I wish I was closer to them.

Posted:  8/29/2008 8:11:52 PM
P: 8/29/2008 10:00:04 PM
elrohwen
elrohwen

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 1,949
Last Post: 11/24/2009
Member Since: 5/20/2008
 
Thanks for the replies everyone! I think I knew all along that the right thing would be to invite them ... I just didn't want to I'll talk to my mom about it again and make sure she's ok with it (I think she'll be fine as long as she doesn't have to sit with them). I really do owe them after they helped to put me through school and even if they're crazy I can't forget that. Luckily, the uncles live in Russia most of the year (for whatever reason ... we're not Russian) so let's hope they're stuck over there and can't come to my wedding!


~Elrohwen

Posted:  8/29/2008 10:00:04 PM
P: 8/30/2008 6:31:02 AM
jewelerman
jewelerman

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 2,197
Last Post: 11/24/2009
Member Since: 9/30/2007
 
Its your day...you dont need any crazy timebombs ready to go off and ruin your day...if you invite them let them know that any negative talk at the wedding and they will be asked to leave.

Posted:  8/30/2008 6:31:02 AM
P: 8/30/2008 7:09:19 AM
sna77
sna77

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 1,022
Last Post: 7/20/2009
Member Since: 11/2/2006
 
if they paid for school, they'll probabyl send a nice check for a wedding gift and not come... sounds like a win - win...  ;)

seriously though... its your wedding, not yourmoms... if you want your grandmother there, invite her and tell your mom to deal with it for a day

Posted:  8/30/2008 7:09:19 AM

 Previous Page Next Page 
« How much did your wedding makeup and hair cost? «» Mother Son Dance »

Jump to:



Contact Us  |  Back Home  |  Privacy Statement  |  Forum Agreement  |  Forum Policies

Ideal BB Version: 0.1.5.4.beta1 Message forum software powered by  the Ideal BB

IdealBB Badge


Pricescope - Knowledge - Diamond Prices - Tools - Resources - About

© 2000-2009 Pricescope. Terms of Use Privacy Policy Disclaimer
forum archives