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 » Ladies in Waiting
»  » Help me not to get my hopes up...
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Help me not to get my hopes up... |
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| P: 5/23/2008 11:27:20 AM | |
KCCutie Ideal Rock Total Posts: 598 Last Post: 6/5/2009 Member Since: 2/22/2008 |
I think I'm doing pretty good so far but one of those pesky "special days" is coming up again. Our 2nd First Anniversary is coming up next week, May 27th. Okay I know I have to explain that....on our first anniversary E didn't even know it was an anniversary b/c we met on line and we never made a big deal about when we actually met and had our first date although he knew around when it was he never even thought about the actual date. I actually had to go back through my e-mails and track down the actual date and came up with May 27th. So last year on May 27th I made him a sock monkey and gave him a nice card didn't expect anything from him b/c I knew he didn't know. We had a good laugh and he realized he never actually asked me to be his GF so last year on May 27 he asked me to officially be his GF. Yes, like we were in junior high and it was pretty darn cute. So since then he has been telling people we have been dating however many months it has been since last May 27th. Of course it's all in good fun and everyone who knows thinks it's really cute. So next Tuesday is our second anniversary but we'll probably celebrate it as our first. Okay so part of me says he had no clue last year he can't possibly remember this year. He's just not like that. Exact dates aren't that important to him. He's lucky my b-day is the day before his sisters b/c if not I'm sure he'd forget. No big deal that's just the way he is and I love him. Then there's part of me that knows he's been saving for a ring and doing some shopping and can't help but get a little excited. I'm consciously trying to keep this part of my brain from taking over b/c logically I just think it won't happen next week. So to keep me busy I'm trying to think of what I can give him for our anniversary. He loves the sock monkey so much I know I can't top that and he already had me make him another one so it wouldn't be lonely or I'd make another. Any suggestions? Nothing big b/c like I said he probably won't even remember and I don't want him to feel guilty if he doesn't get me anything. Wow that turned out to be quite a novel so thanks for reading! |
| Posted: 5/23/2008 11:27:20 AM | |
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There are 16 replies to this message. There are 16 replies on this page. |
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| P: 5/23/2008 11:33:29 AM | |
Bia Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,336 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 3/28/2008 |
I didn't know what a "sock monkey" was...had to look it up!  Sweetie, just enjoy your day with him. No matter what, it will be special. I know the engagement thing has many of us feeling all wacky but the truth is, you and he both know it is going to happen...so let it happen when it happens. Dont lessen the special moments you have in between now and then, because you're hoping for more. This is easier advice to give than take, I know! Hope you have a wonderful Anniversary and congrats on two years...OR two firsts!!!  ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Wait! I thought you were asking if you shouldn't get your hopes up for a PROPOSAL on another special day...you were asking if you shouldn't get your hopes up that he will remember? Is that right? I just confused myself... If so, drop hints (that he will catch) and I am sure he will remember this year! And Congrats!
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| Posted: 5/23/2008 11:33:29 AM | |
| P: 5/23/2008 11:38:08 AM | |
TheBigT Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,418 Last Post: 10/29/2009 Member Since: 1/28/2008 |
hee hee... I love that you made him a sock monkey. And a friend for his sock monkey! You could always just cook him a nice dinner - engagement chicken, perhaps?  Would you want him to remember this anniversary? Such things are important to me, but not as much to BF, but I make a point of reminding him in advance so that I don't end up feeling resentful when he forgets (not that you'll be resentful!). If I were in your situation, I might say something like, "I've already started making your anniversary present!" (Then BF would be like, "Right. When is that again?"). In terms of gifts, you could give him a book that he might like, or a frame with a photo of the two of you, or a nice bottle of wine/drink of choice, or... yeah, I'm pretty bad with gift ideas. Good luck, and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!
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| Posted: 5/23/2008 11:38:08 AM | |
| P: 5/23/2008 11:53:15 AM | |
Keepingthefaith21 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,300 Last Post: 11/9/2009 Member Since: 8/17/2007 |
I know how you feel...I just fought these feelings earlier in the week when my b-day rolled around...I also know that my SO has been shopping around and planning. He's been so dead set on keeping the enitre proposal a secret but now that he's getting very close he can't seem to keep his mouth shut! I took the same stance I always do when I find myself suspecting that it could happen: it is better to be pleasantly surprised then bitterly disappointed. When I felt the thoughts creeping up on me I thought "yeah, it would be great if it happened but I can't put all these expectations on this day. I can not end up disappointed on any level because SO's feelings will be hurt and that is not fair." I second the suggestion for a nice dinner. Maybe do something special like make his favorite dessert. Perhaps you could involve the sock monkey's in the celebration...maybe have one "holding" a glass of wine or his favorite drink. ***The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do.*** |
| Posted: 5/23/2008 11:53:15 AM | |
| P: 5/23/2008 12:20:58 PM | |
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KCCutie Ideal Rock Total Posts: 598 Last Post: 6/5/2009 Member Since: 2/22/2008 |
Aw thanks ladies I knew you would know how I feel and offer some much needed support. Right now I don't feel too anxious and hopefully the long weekend will keep my mind off of it. No I don't think I'll be upset if he doesn't remember I kinda liked how it worked out last year with me surprising him with something special (b/c he does sweet things for me all the time) and he did say some really sweet things and we went out to dinner...that's enough for me....Now after we're married he'll need to remember that date but since this one is only going to be a two time deal I'm not so attached to it. Plus if he does remember on his own it'll make it that much more special. Dinner is on for sure! I made this Mediterranean Quinoa a couple weeks ago that he was just in love with so maybe I'll do that and some yummy salmon, or engagement chicken. He always wants me to make the same 4-5 dishes so maybe making something new to add to the list is better. KTF - I laughed out loud when I read your comment about the monkeys....b/c well we are so crazy about these monkeys that having them at dinner would not be abnormal. LOL E would kill me if I told everyone just how crazy we are so I won't but seriously they get as much attention as our dogs if not more. Book may not be a bad idea....he loves Chuck Palaniuk and his newest book came out this week. I just checked his website and Palanuik's doing a tour/signing in St. Louis on the 27th! OMG if I could somehow get E to call in sick that would be the perfect anniversary trip! One of our first dates was to another of his tours and I think that was when I really started falling for him! Too bad St. Louis is 4-5 hours away we'd have to play hooky from work for a few hours. I did mention it to E though and if he's up for playing hooky I'm so in(just don't tell my boss!)! If it's just not doable maybe we'll have our own private book reading here in KC. 
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| Posted: 5/23/2008 12:20:58 PM | |
| P: 5/23/2008 1:17:34 PM | |
surfgirl Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,438 Last Post: 5/19/2009 Member Since: 4/5/2007 |
KC, I always wonder about these sorts of posts because if you are in a mature, adult relationship, there is no reason you cannot say to your BF, "hey honey, our anniversary is coming up, do you want to do anything to celebrate?" A lot of ladies here seem to get so overly upset because their guy didn't remember such and such, but they just assume that he should know telepathically. It's a guy thing. Guy's often dont remember those things. And as you said, even you had to look up the date so it's not as obvious as say, a wedding date, yes? Just talk to him. You asked how to not get your hopes up? Talk to him now. Instead of stewing and stressing that he will forget, remind him now. And then enjoy your anniversary!
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| Posted: 5/23/2008 1:17:34 PM | |
| P: 5/23/2008 3:26:17 PM | |
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KCCutie Ideal Rock Total Posts: 598 Last Post: 6/5/2009 Member Since: 2/22/2008 |
Hiya surfgirl  Just to clarify I'm not anxious that he might not remember(in fact I'm pretty sure he won't and that's fine). I'm just trying not to get my hopes up that an engagement could be coming next week. I think it would be amazingly sweet if he did remember and plan to propose.... but I don't think my reminding him (if he doesn't remember on his own) will change anything. So I'm trying to keep any thoughts that it could happen to a minimum and not get my hopes up. That's all. I'm not going to go out of my way to remind him. If he asks or someone else brings it up fine...if not, I'm looking forward to surprising him for a change. And no I won't be upset in the least if no one asks and he only remembers after I give him his present. Hard to believe I know but I'm weird like that and if I am upset I can take a big "We told you so!  " from my fellow LIWs but I don't think I'll need one.  I know to most girls anniversaries are big things and they are upset if their SO doesn't remember them and do a little something to celebrate, but like I said I'm not worried about this one. We are in a mature, loving, adult realtionship and we both know that after this one our next anniversary will be our 1st wedding anniversary. Now if he forgets that one I'll be POed but to me this one is no big deal. I hope that makes more sense.
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| Posted: 5/23/2008 3:26:17 PM | |
| P: 5/23/2008 3:51:00 PM | |
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Bia Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,336 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 3/28/2008 |
So I did get it right the first time! Ahhhh...I am all over the place. Way too much time on my hands at work today. Definitely, enjoy the weekend and then your anniversary. Try, with all your might, to not think about the engagement because a.) you want to enjoy you time together on a special occasion (whether he remembers or not! Remember, men forget stuff like that, its in their DNA or something); b.) you don't want to let yourself down if it doesn't happen; and c.) you know it will happen sometime relatively soon. Let it happen, when it happens...so you can enjoy it when it does!!! I shouldn't even be talking because I obsess like there is no tomorrow!!! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ |
| Posted: 5/23/2008 3:51:00 PM | |
| P: 5/23/2008 5:02:46 PM | |
purrfectpear Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,706 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 3/31/2008 |
I'm sorry but I agree with surfgirl. It isn't about whether he happens to propose then or not. Let's just put that aside. There's nothing "sweet" about you remembering and making him a gift and not giving him a reminder at all, especially when you already suspect he's not the type to remember on his own. I see that as sort of setting him up, and I don't really think that's your intent here? I mean, sure he'll love the gift...but you know he'll be a little disappointed with himself that he forgot again. He'll think he let you down. Even if it won't bother you that he forgot, it will bother him. Do the guy a favor and remind him of the special day. What he does or doesn't do with the info is up to him but please don't hang him out to dry - give a forgetful guy a break
"Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say and not giving a damn." -Gore Vidal |
| Posted: 5/23/2008 5:02:46 PM | |
| P: 5/24/2008 10:52:47 PM | |
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KCCutie Ideal Rock Total Posts: 598 Last Post: 6/5/2009 Member Since: 2/22/2008 |
You're right I don't want to hang him out to dry and that never was my intention. Geesh it is hard for me to clearly spell out what I mean here, sorry if I was unclear. I know that none of you actually know me, my SO, or our situation and all three are very unique so I don't expect you to understand this the way we do. Anyhow I did mention yesterday that the sock monkey I made him last year would be one year old soon and that his birthday was on Tuesday...now what he does with that information is up to him. He did suggest we have a birthday party for him, and I said we should all wear party hats  LOL....Fortuantely he wasn't too excited about the hats LOL. I still don't expect him to really remember, but we both know it's okay. My plan is just to cook dinner (which I do a lot anyway) and get him a copy of a book he wants and a nice card...and maybe a cupcake for the monkey's first b-day (the cupcake is really more for me though he won't eat it he doesn't like sweets). Bia- You're such a sweetie! Thanks! You're right I need to just relax and enjoy this time as couple. Easier said than done but I'll remind myslef that I'm happier than I have ever been and being anxious just isn't as much fun as being happy in love....Ahhhh I feel beter already
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| Posted: 5/24/2008 10:52:47 PM | |
| P: 5/25/2008 4:53:35 AM | |
claireabelle Cut Rock Total Posts: 367 Last Post: 8/8/2008 Member Since: 3/28/2008 |
Date: 5/24/2008 10:52:47 PM Author: KCCutie I need to just relax and enjoy this time as couple. Easier said than done but I'll remind myslef that I'm happier than I have ever been and being anxious just isn't as much fun as being happy in love....Ahhhh I feel beter already You said it, sister!!! haha... I've been telling myself the exact same thing! HAPPY 2nd FIRST ANNIVERSARY!!!
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| Posted: 5/25/2008 4:53:35 AM | |
| P: 5/27/2008 11:49:59 AM | |
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KCCutie Ideal Rock Total Posts: 598 Last Post: 6/5/2009 Member Since: 2/22/2008 |
Aw thanks! Today's the day. I have all the ingredients to make engagement chicken and I have a nice dinner planned, I also plan to get him the book he wanted and a card...oh and cupcakes for the monkey's birthday. LOL Last night we had a long talk. Sadly I have to admit I cried a lot (darn PMS I'm usually not such a blubbering mess I swear). I know if I post what happened I'm going to get a bunch of "he's not ready", "he's never going to be ready" or "he doesn't love you enough so it's time to think about leaving"....so I'm not going there right now (which I realize won't stop any of you from saying that so if you feel the need go ahead). I do think we need to have a few more talks with much less crying, but I know this is just one of those things and well work through it. I am happy with our relationship I love him with all my heart. Things don't need to change right away. We're happy and in love.
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| Posted: 5/27/2008 11:49:59 AM | |
| P: 5/27/2008 12:48:20 PM | |
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purrfectpear Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,706 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 3/31/2008 |
What exactly IS "engagement chicken"? Enquiring minds want to know
"Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say and not giving a damn." -Gore Vidal |
| Posted: 5/27/2008 12:48:20 PM | |
| P: 5/27/2008 2:44:17 PM | |
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KCCutie Ideal Rock Total Posts: 598 Last Post: 6/5/2009 Member Since: 2/22/2008 |
LOL it's the recipe for a basic lemon pepper chicken that apparently is so good guys just want to marry you after they eat it. LOL so basically you take a whole chicken squirt it with lemon juice and season it with ground black pepper and sea salt then take 2 lemons and poke holes in them and put them inside the chicken. you cook it upside down uncovered for like 15 minuted then right side up for like 35 minutes. If you google "Engagement Chicken" I'm sure you'll find the recipe. Sorry recipe is at home I'd post it for you .I think it's one of those things where guys are like "Man she can cook...I can't let this on get away!" LOL so if it works I'm all for it, if not is sounds like a good recipe anyhow.
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| Posted: 5/27/2008 2:44:17 PM | |
| P: 5/28/2008 10:53:41 AM | |
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KCCutie Ideal Rock Total Posts: 598 Last Post: 6/5/2009 Member Since: 2/22/2008 |
Well ladies, I made it! No proposal and I'm still alive and very happily in love. I made dinner and when he got home he had a big bunch of red roses!  Seriously E is one of those guys who says he never buys a girl flowers b/c....well they just die and that's not the kind of message he wants to give someone he loves...like here have these beautiful flowers so you can watch them die....not so romantic in his mind. I told him it's not about them dying it's about the fact that I like them and that knowing he bought them for me (even though he doesn't like the idea)just b/c I like them is very romantic. I didn't think that logic worked b/c that was seriously months and months ago. SO when I saw the flowers I was so happy! And he got me a card with a beautiful message about all the things he wants to do with me in our future.Before bed as we were talking he told me he wants our sock monkeys to be in the wedding. We had a good laugh as we tried to think of who would carry these stuffed monkeys down the aisle so they could be our ring bearer and flower girl....oh well our families already know we're nuts....really it was so precious and at least I know he thought about something wedding related.
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| Posted: 5/28/2008 10:53:41 AM | |
| P: 5/28/2008 11:20:28 AM | |
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Bia Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,336 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 3/28/2008 |
Yay! You got over the hump and love is still in the air! Isn't it funny how your man surprises you sometimes? Gotta love 'em. Have a great day! 
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| Posted: 5/28/2008 11:20:28 AM | |
| P: 5/28/2008 6:35:30 PM | |
ILoveSpinel Cut Rock Total Posts: 203 Last Post: 11/9/2009 Member Since: 4/9/2008 |
Date: 5/27/2008 2:44:17 PM Author: KCCutie LOL it's the recipe for a basic lemon pepper chicken that apparently is so good guys just want to marry you after they eat it. LOL so basically you take a whole chicken squirt it with lemon juice and season it with ground black pepper and sea salt then take 2 lemons and poke holes in them and put them inside the chicken. you cook it upside down uncovered for like 15 minuted then right side up for like 35 minutes. If you google 'Engagement Chicken' I'm sure you'll find the recipe. Sorry recipe is at home I'd post it for you .I think it's one of those things where guys are like 'Man she can cook...I can't let this on get away!' LOL so if it works I'm all for it, if not is sounds like a good recipe anyhow. Hehehe, I had no idea that was "Engagement Chicken" hehehe, I'm laughing so hard because my favorite meal I cook my boy is Lemon Pepper Chicken. He says it's the best! I however make it differently, but still is the best lemmony chicken ever!!!
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| Posted: 5/28/2008 6:35:30 PM | |
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