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 7 reasons not to mess with children

P:  3/29/2008 9:30:06 AM  
Madam Bijoux
Madam Bijoux

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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".   The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"  The little girl replied, "Then you ask him". 
   
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.   As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.   The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."   The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."   Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute." 
  
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandm ent that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." 
  
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.   She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"   Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."  The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?" 
  
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'   A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead." 
  
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."  "Yes," the class said.   "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"  A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty." 


 
  The children were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The teacher made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE; God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
 


 


 


"I never met a diamond I didn't like."
No jewel is as beautiful as a cat's eyes.
Madam Bijoux (Gabrielle)
Posted:  3/29/2008 9:30:06 AM

 There are 7 replies to this message.  There are 7 replies on this page.

P: 3/29/2008 9:49:34 AM
monarch64
monarch64

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"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." Henry David Thoreau

Posted:  3/29/2008 9:49:34 AM
P: 3/29/2008 10:22:56 AM
Maisie
Maisie

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Very funny!

Posted:  3/29/2008 10:22:56 AM
P: 3/29/2008 11:03:48 AM
Fancy605
Fancy605

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how cute! Clever kids.

"The absence of flaw in beauty is itself a flaw."
Havelock Ellis

Posted:  3/29/2008 11:03:48 AM
P: 3/30/2008 6:01:03 PM
LegacyGirl
LegacyGirl

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Oh the last one is the best!!

Posted:  3/30/2008 6:01:03 PM
P: 3/31/2008 1:08:09 AM
Gemma12
Gemma12

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Oh, thanks for my LOL of the day!

Posted:  3/31/2008 1:08:09 AM
P: 3/31/2008 6:58:59 AM
Samantha Red
Samantha Red

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These all made me laugh and reminded me of a true story about my friend's son when he was about 7.  He used to go to Sunday school every week and was not very happy about it.  Just before Easter they were talking about Lent and the practice of giving something up for Lent.  When they got to Kieren they asked him what he was going to give up and his response without hesitation was 'Sunday School'.  Bless him!

Posted:  3/31/2008 6:58:59 AM
P: 3/31/2008 11:23:28 AM
LegacyGirl
LegacyGirl

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Date: 3/31/2008 6:58:59 AM
Author: Samantha Red
These all made me laugh and reminded me of a true story about my friend's son when he was about 7. He used to go to Sunday school every week and was not very happy about it. Just before Easter they were talking about Lent and the practice of giving something up for Lent. When they got to Kieren they asked him what he was going to give up and his response without hesitation was 'Sunday School'. Bless him!
SOOO CUTE!!!!

Posted:  3/31/2008 11:23:28 AM

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