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 Indiana laws for returned engagement rings

P:  2/20/2008 2:05:32 PM  
nobowl76
nobowl76

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I was wondering if anyone could help me with getting my ring back. She broke off the engagement but won't give the (4,000.00) ring back. We were engaged for less than 5 months and planned to be married in October 2008. I was totally taken back by the engagement being broken off. I guess so much for trust, and love.

Thanks for anyone who can help!!!!!

 


Posted:  2/20/2008 2:05:32 PM

 There are 17 replies to this message.  There are 17 replies on this page.

P: 2/20/2008 2:07:12 PM
Maisie
Maisie

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I don't know anything about  the law but I just wanted to say that I am sorry that she broke it off. 

Posted:  2/20/2008 2:07:12 PM
P: 2/20/2008 2:34:16 PM
Tacori E-ring
Tacori E-ring

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I am sorry too. Guess that shows a lot about her character. I thought as long as you didn't propose on a holiday (where the ring is a gift) the man gets it back (since it is a promise to marry). Hopefully one of the lawyers can chime in.

Posted:  2/20/2008 2:34:16 PM
P: 2/20/2008 2:40:11 PM
777_LDY
777_LDY

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Date: 2/20/2008 2:34:16 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I am sorry too. Guess that shows a lot about her character. I thought as long as you didn't propose on a holiday (where the ring is a gift) the man gets it back (since it is a promise to marry). Hopefully one of the lawyers can chime in.

That's what I thought too.

I'm sorry that this happened to you, maybe she is just having a hard time letting go...still doesn't make it right though.

Posted:  2/20/2008 2:40:11 PM
P: 2/20/2008 2:41:45 PM
LegacyGirl
LegacyGirl

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For most jurisdictions an engagment ring is a contract and as long as it wasn't given as a gift you should be able to get it back. I'd have to look up case law specifically for Indiana though. If I get a chance I'll do it tonight if no one else has given a sure answer.

Posted:  2/20/2008 2:41:45 PM
P: 2/20/2008 2:44:13 PM
Independent Gal
Independent Gal

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I would get a lawyer to write her a strongly worded letter. That will get her moving. I'm 90% sure that the ring belongs to you.

Posted:  2/20/2008 2:44:13 PM
P: 2/20/2008 2:53:43 PM
baby monster
baby monster

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Majority of the states say that an engagement ring is conditional upon marriage and does not matter who broke off the engagement and for what reason.  Your ex is supposed to give you the ring back.  If she doesn't, you can take her to small claims court.

Posted:  2/20/2008 2:53:43 PM
P: 2/20/2008 4:14:40 PM
Sparkster
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Date: 2/20/2008 2:34:16 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I am sorry too. Guess that shows a lot about her character. I thought as long as you didn't propose on a holiday (where the ring is a gift) the man gets it back (since it is a promise to marry). Hopefully one of the lawyers can chime in.

My thoughts exactly.

I'm sorry to hear about the break up.  I hope you get the ring back, but sometimes, it's not worth the fight.  My FI gave up the fight in his divorce settlement because quite frankly, he just wanted it all over and done with and didn't want anything more to do with his ex.  He says it was worth giving up every cent she demanded.

If you can't get the ring back, be thankful that you found out her true nature.

_______________________
<< Everyday is a gift, which is why we call today "the present" >>

Posted:  2/20/2008 4:14:40 PM
P: 2/20/2008 4:19:41 PM
Sparkles22
Sparkles22

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Don't know anything about the laws, but I think if she broke it off she should give you the ring back!  Sorry you are having to go through this.

Posted:  2/20/2008 4:19:41 PM
P: 2/20/2008 5:11:42 PM
bee*
bee*

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Date: 2/20/2008 2:44:13 PM
Author: Independent Gal
I would get a lawyer to write her a strongly worded letter. That will get her moving. I'm 90% sure that the ring belongs to you.


definitely agree with this. I'm so sorry to hear what she's doing. I hope that you get it back.

Posted:  2/20/2008 5:11:42 PM
P: 2/20/2008 6:32:13 PM
CaptAubrey
CaptAubrey

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Here you go:

http://www.in.gov/judiciary/opinions/pdf/07060501lmb.pdf

One would need to do some further work to see if this case is still controlling, but it looks like that, in Indiana, the ring must be returned if the marriage doesn't happen, no matter who broke off the engagement.

Posted:  2/20/2008 6:32:13 PM
P: 2/20/2008 6:49:34 PM
Haven
Haven

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I'm so sorry to hear that she ended the engagement, and I hope you can get this issue worked out without a lot of trouble.

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Posted:  2/20/2008 6:49:34 PM
P: 2/20/2008 7:18:28 PM
LegacyGirl
LegacyGirl

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Date: 2/20/2008 6:32:13 PM
Author: CaptAubrey
Here you go:

http://www.in.gov/judiciary/opinions/pdf/07060501lmb.pdf

One would need to do some further work to see if this case is still controlling, but it looks like that, in Indiana, the ring must be returned if the marriage doesn't happen, no matter who broke off the engagement.
Lexis says this case is still good law so the answer is yes she has to return it.

Posted:  2/20/2008 7:18:28 PM
P: 2/21/2008 7:50:58 AM
nobowl76
nobowl76

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Thank you for your time in looking up a case that may help mine. I contacted a lawyer who said we will send a letter in what our intent is if the ring is not given back with a set time. I am 23 and have learned some hard lessons of the heart in a short amount of time. My aunt said that she hated what I was going through but would not change a thing. She said these are the lessons in lives that help strengthen us to deal with the crosses that we are asked to carry through our lives. I know she is right but this cross nearly crushed me and my family. I have a very strong and carrying family and great friends, so I no I will live another day, and probably carry several more crosses in my life time.

Thanks again

Posted:  2/21/2008 7:50:58 AM
P: 2/21/2008 8:11:56 AM
AGBF
AGBF

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Reading the case law on this was an eye opener. I have a Miss Manners approach to these matters. My take on the issue was that since the marriage had not taken place, the lady should return the ring! It seemed sordid, indeed, to have to bring a lawyer into the matter to remind her of her obligations!

When I read the case upon which the Indiana law rests I realized that couples, now, may have lived together with their children in homes that they jointly owned before they became engaged. That does put another spin on the traditional view of how the engagement ring should be treated, I think. I mean, it may no longer be a one size fits all matter! Or perhaps it is. What do I know? I live in the dark ages where people usually got engaged, got married, then had children. I think there is no such thing as an illegitimate child, mind you! I do not consider it my business whether people marry before having babies. It just wouldn't be my thing deliberately to plan a baby with someone to whom I wasn't married and with whom I wasn't planning a stable future.

Deborah


A Girl's Best Friend

Posted:  2/21/2008 8:11:56 AM
P: 2/21/2008 10:06:18 AM
baby monster
baby monster

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Date: 2/21/2008 8:11:56 AM
Author: AGBF

When I read the case upon which the Indiana law rests I realized that couples, now, may have lived together with their children in homes that they jointly owned before they became engaged. That does put another spin on the traditional view of how the engagement ring should be treated, I think. I mean, it may no longer be a one size fits all matter! Or perhaps it is. What do I know? I live in the dark ages where people usually got engaged, got married, then had children. I think there is no such thing as an illegitimate child, mind you! I do not consider it my business whether people marry before having babies. It just wouldn't be my thing deliberately to plan a baby with someone to whom I wasn't married and with whom I wasn't planning a stable future.

Deborah


I certainly agree with you but sometimes there are circumstances beyond our desires.  The case does not go into details of the couple's life but what if they were older and the woman's clock was about to run out.   She decided to have a child with this man with the expectation that they would get married once he finished school.  Perhaps he wouldn't qualify for financial aid if they were married. 

Posted:  2/21/2008 10:06:18 AM
P: 2/21/2008 10:37:07 AM
Sparkles22
Sparkles22

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Has she given you the ring back yet?  I think it's selfish for her to keep it, since it was supposed to represent a promise she broke.

Posted:  2/21/2008 10:37:07 AM
P: 2/21/2008 10:52:41 PM
Diamond*Dana
Diamond*Dana

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Aw, I am sorry that things did not work out, and I hope that you get your ring back soon...good luck!

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If you judge people, you have no time to love them ~Mother Teresa








Posted:  2/21/2008 10:52:41 PM

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