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I was a sucker...

P: 2/4/2008 6:28:03 PM
radiant girl Rough Rock Total Posts: 14 Last Post: 3/19/2008 Member Since: 2/4/2008	I learned recently that the ring I had my boyfriend buy (which he has not proposed with yet) was essentially a rip-off. I told the sales lady that the quality of the cut was the most important thing to me. She said they only sold the highest quality (1A's, 1B's) at their store. And I stupidly believed her without checking into it. The store was beautiful and the ring is not bad looking. He paid a little over $8,000 for a platinum setting with a diamond is comparable to diamonds only worth about $3000. I feel so duped. And I don't feel like I can say anything to him because A. he hasn't proposed yet and I'm not supposed to know he even has the ring, B. it was my stupidity that has now caused him to waste his money, and C. he never even wanted to buy that ring---he wanted to pick something out for me, but I was too insistent b/c I thought I had done my research and I wanted to get engaged so badly. But it has been over a year, and we are still not engaged, so my hastiness was even more worthless. I don't know what to do, but I am so incredibly upset. I'm mostly upset b/c this ring won't represent his love for me or our relationship, but rather I will always think of it as a reminder of how stupid I was to be hasty and not do my due diligence. Is there anything I can do?
Posted: 2/4/2008 6:28:03 PM

There are 49 replies to this message. There are 30 replies on this page.

P: 2/4/2008 6:31:37 PM
777_LDY Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,050 Last Post: 1/14/2009 Member Since: 10/19/2007	Well, how do you know it is a bad cut? If you can post your specs I know that there are many PSers that can give you some great info and helpful advise.
Posted: 2/4/2008 6:31:37 PM

P: 2/4/2008 6:39:36 PM
Addy Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,915 Last Post: 11/18/2009 Member Since: 10/20/2007	If it's truly not returnable then you may just need to chalk it up to a hasty decision. Do you still like the ring? You chose it for a reason so I imagine if you looked at it you'd still like it, which is all that matters. Yes, cut is important, but liking the ring is the most important thing. If it's beautiful to you that's all that matters! May I ask, how do you know that he has that ring? If it's been a year, which seems like a long time to hold onto the ring, maybe he exchanged it or returned it to pick our something else later.
Posted: 2/4/2008 6:39:36 PM

P: 2/4/2008 6:48:03 PM
radiant girl Rough Rock Total Posts: 14 Last Post: 3/19/2008 Member Since: 2/4/2008	I am a good snoop =) ...that's how I knew when he got it and that he still has it. The specs are .93, VVS2, F, 73% table, 78.7% depth (this is what bothers me the most), P/S VG/G. I just do not think it was worth all the money. I do love the setting and the stone is pretty enough...but I keep thinking that with that amount of money, we could have done SO much better. I learned the cut was bad using the AGA grading. I do know that it is harder to go by the books with radiants and that specs don't mean a stone will be beautiful. But I see stones just as beautiful on the James Allen website that are in so many ways better. You know, I'm also kicking myself really hard for not just leaving it up to him. That is what he wanted, and I didn't let him. And then I ended up doing a terrible job. The ring isn't returnable, either.
Posted: 2/4/2008 6:48:03 PM

P: 2/4/2008 6:54:44 PM
EricaR Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,109 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 12/4/2007	Value comes from more than just the specs of the stone. If you love the setting and the stone, that is all that really matters! You can always upgrade the stone later.
Posted: 2/4/2008 6:54:44 PM

P: 2/4/2008 7:00:49 PM
radiant girl Rough Rock Total Posts: 14 Last Post: 3/19/2008 Member Since: 2/4/2008	Thanks for replying. I just needed to get this off my chest. I'm still upset, but feeling a little better. I do think it is pretty, but I don't know that I'll ever love it. I don't know that I'll get to upgrade either, b/c my boy is super sentimental. I am too...which is I guess why I'm taking this so personally. I only ever wanted one engagement ring. At times I think I should talk to him about it, but I don't know that it would go over well. I think he would be mad b/c he spent all this money on an unreturnable item for me that I even picked out and now I don't like it. I need to just suck it up.
Posted: 2/4/2008 7:00:49 PM

P: 2/4/2008 7:00:55 PM
Addy Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,915 Last Post: 11/18/2009 Member Since: 10/20/2007	Honestly, in that situation I'd say that there's not much you can do except keep the ring and hope to change the ring or stone later if it still bothers you. Selling it wouldn't get you close to the price to replace it in a similar size with better cut. It's not returnable and you SO doesn't know about how you now think or feel about the stone/ring.
Posted: 2/4/2008 7:00:55 PM

P: 2/4/2008 7:06:37 PM
diamondseeker2006 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 17,609 Last Post: 11/18/2009 Member Since: 1/11/2006	Why is it not returnable? ~~~ When in doubt...don't.~~~
Posted: 2/4/2008 7:06:37 PM

P: 2/4/2008 7:14:51 PM
radiant girl Rough Rock Total Posts: 14 Last Post: 3/19/2008 Member Since: 2/4/2008	The receipt says it can only be returned within 7 days. It's been a little longer than that.
Posted: 2/4/2008 7:14:51 PM

P: 2/4/2008 7:21:52 PM
surfgirl Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,438 Last Post: 5/19/2009 Member Since: 4/5/2007	Just for future reference (as I know this is of no help right now), I would never buy anything significant from any jewelry store that had only a 7 day return policy. That's not very client-oriented...Most reputable stores have a 30 day return policy providing you return the ring in new condition, not worn hard. That said, you presumable LOVED this ring so much before finding out your BF might have overpaid for it. I say who cares the cost as long as you LOVE the ring/stone? Once you are wearing it, just love it as much as you did the day you saw it. Forget the price! Life isn't all about getting a deal, especially when it comes to one's ering. It's about the meaning behind the ring, and if you loved the ring before knowing it was overpriced, then continue to love it. Even more so!
Posted: 2/4/2008 7:21:52 PM

P: 2/4/2008 7:23:02 PM
sonomacounty Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,271 Last Post: 11/22/2009 Member Since: 12/5/2007	Did you speak with the seller. I'd just not assume nothing can be done. You never know. I'd tell them that they misrepresented the quality of the stone (and give specifics as to how). Do tell us how it goes.
Posted: 2/4/2008 7:23:02 PM

P: 2/4/2008 7:39:57 PM
ydiamonds Rough Rock Total Posts: 66 Last Post: 10/17/2009 Member Since: 1/15/2008	The ring DOES represent your BF's love for you. He bought something you wanted, and I assume loved at the time. Just because he hasn't given it to you yet doesn't mean he doesn't love you or value your relationship. As for you not liking it because you think it's overpriced, I think you're overreacting. It's beautiful and that hasn't changed. Radiants are really hard to tell by the numbers. I was very frustrating shopping for my radiant sight unseen. I hope you receive it soon so you can wear it and enjoy its beauty, and the fact that your BF bought it for you. Maybe he's a good snoop too and senses you are no longer happy with something he did out of love for you, so now doesn't want to give it to you but also don't know what else to do with it.
Posted: 2/4/2008 7:39:57 PM

P: 2/4/2008 8:31:05 PM
Tuesday Rough Rock Total Posts: 68 Last Post: 2/16/2008 Member Since: 10/12/2007	If at all possible, try not to worry about it. He hasn't even proposed yet; once you see it again you may fall in love with it like you did the first time you saw it. If, in a few years or so it's still bothering you, then you can always go buy yourself a new stone and have it re-set (either with or without his knowledge). For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction. ~ Kahlil Gibran
Posted: 2/4/2008 8:31:05 PM

P: 2/4/2008 10:19:58 PM
jayrenay9 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 703 Last Post: 10/25/2009 Member Since: 8/3/2006	Date: 2/4/2008 8:31:05 PM Author: Tuesday If at all possible, try not to worry about it. He hasn't even proposed yet; once you see it again you may fall in love with it like you did the first time you saw it. If, in a few years or so it's still bothering you, then you can always go buy yourself a new stone and have it re-set (either with or without his knowledge). Yikes! Please don't ever do that without his knowledge!! I think you'll fall in love with it all over again when you actually get to wear it. It's hard when you have just an image in your head. Do you have any idea when he's planning on proposing?
Posted: 2/4/2008 10:19:58 PM

P: 2/4/2008 10:25:07 PM
vslover Cut Rock Total Posts: 474 Last Post: 4/28/2009 Member Since: 11/9/2007	wow...I can't imagine buying a replacement diamond without letting your husband know. That's pretty scary.
Posted: 2/4/2008 10:25:07 PM

P: 2/4/2008 10:31:14 PM
Kaleigh Ideal Rock Total Posts: 25,906 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 11/18/2004	Date: 2/4/2008 8:31:05 PM Author: Tuesday If at all possible, try not to worry about it. He hasn't even proposed yet; once you see it again you may fall in love with it like you did the first time you saw it. If, in a few years or so it's still bothering you, then you can always go buy yourself a new stone and have it re-set (either with or without his knowledge). ____________________________ Piece of cake and a candle. ng gift
Posted: 2/4/2008 10:31:14 PM

P: 2/4/2008 11:14:13 PM
lumpkin Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,491 Last Post: 2/29/2008 Member Since: 5/24/2005	You know, a little PS knowledge can be slightly dangerous! Most people go through their engagements not knowing a fourth of what you probably do. And they go on to lead very happy lives together, completely blissfully ignorant that they could have gotten a better diamond for less money. I'm not trying to be a smart alec. We're just a very different breed here on PS. I think since it's a done deal there's no use in beating yourself up over it. It's still a beautiful ring, right? There really will be many more opportunities over the years for your boyfriend to surprise you with more jewelry. Try not to be hard on yourself about this, REALLY. We tend to be in our own little diamond world here on PS, but most people really do get on without THE PERFECT DIAMOND on their hands, and those of us here who even did get the best deal we could sometimes hanker for what was on the other side of the fence. It doesn't matter if it is THE PERFECT DIAMOND. There's always another one we'd love to posess. Bottom line, though we here don't like to necessarily think of it this way, it's a ring -- a material thing. It's not your boyfriend, it's just a ring. I hope you feel better about this soon. I hope when you get it you can see the wonderful gesture your boyfriend made and the love with which it is given. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Opinions are like belly buttons. Everyone has one, but some are more appealing than others.
Posted: 2/4/2008 11:14:13 PM

P: 2/4/2008 11:32:29 PM
EmeraldCutQuest Cut Rock Total Posts: 113 Last Post: 11/10/2009 Member Since: 1/15/2008	Take a deep breath ... Hmmmmmmmm ... Most of what has been said is so true, although hard sometimes to implement. Don't second guess yourself. It's a natural thing to go through; I know very few people who when they buy something of value (a car, a house, etc.) don't think: "Is this crazy?" "Did I research enough?" "Should I have waited?" etc. When all is said and done, maybe this tought you something about yourself, about trusting him more, etc., etc. ALL much more valuable in your relationship than the $$$ you might have wasted. --ECQ.
Posted: 2/4/2008 11:32:29 PM

P: 2/5/2008 4:54:29 AM
D2B Ideal Rock Total Posts: 783 Last Post: 11/22/2009 Member Since: 2/10/2007	We got our e-ring, pre PS days, and yes in hindsight we paid to much and the numbers/stats could have been so much better for the money we paid, BUT, we loved the ring, and I still love the ring. I funneld all my PS knowledge into my eternity ring, and other future diamond purchases. But my e-ring is special, it is not about the numbers or the price (we were comfortable with the price a the time, so why agonize over a past decision). I get heaps of compliments on it even 10 years later. - so go beyond the numbers and the price, enjoy the moment and the meaning of the ring. You liked it before. Put all your newfound PS knowledge into a 5 or 10 year eternity ring, studs or whatever future diamond purchase may be on the horizon. An e-ring is special and has meaning beyond just pure numbers. DB2
Posted: 2/5/2008 4:54:29 AM

P: 2/5/2008 5:25:08 AM
bee* Ideal Rock Total Posts: 11,103 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 5/14/2006	Date: 2/4/2008 10:31:14 PM Author: Kaleigh Date: 2/4/2008 8:31:05 PM Author: Tuesday If at all possible, try not to worry about it. He hasn't even proposed yet; once you see it again you may fall in love with it like you did the first time you saw it. If, in a few years or so it's still bothering you, then you can always go buy yourself a new stone and have it re-set (either with or without his knowledge). I was thinking the same- I couldn't ever imagine doing that without D knowing. The most important thing is that you love the ring, which is why you picked it out. It does show the love that your bf has for you, he got you what you wanted, and the most important thing is that you will be getting married, not the ring. I bet you when he proposes, you will fall in love with it again. If you don't want to upgrade, you can always buy a RHR in a few years time.
Posted: 2/5/2008 5:25:08 AM

P: 2/5/2008 9:20:15 AM
radiant girl Rough Rock Total Posts: 14 Last Post: 3/19/2008 Member Since: 2/4/2008	I had actually thought about the "without his knowledge" thing...but I know I couldn't pull it off. I'm too tight on money and bet he would notice when I had $5-6k less. So I won't do anything like that. But I really appreciate all your responses. I know you guys are right and I really needed to hear all of that. I DID love the ring when I first saw it. And even if we did overpay for it, it still sparkles and that > will not change. The "waiting so long to propose" thing has been a bit of an issue, and I have brought it up with him. He says that he just hasn't been able to think of a way to do it and he wants to do something really great b/c he knows I would want a great story (he's really sweet isn't he?). But he's often a one-track-mind kind of guy and he hasn't really gotten on the proposal track yet. But lately I've been slipping in to conversation more and more often that getting married is really important to me. He mentioned planning a vacation soon and he said, "you know WHY I want to go on this vacation, don't you?" Unfortunately, he's working and looking for a new job and I'm working crazy hours and we can't find the time to plan it. But, hopefully he'll stay true to his word and that will be "it." I can't go home for ANOTHER family xmas without a ring. People don't even ask me about it anymore.
Posted: 2/5/2008 9:20:15 AM

P: 2/5/2008 10:26:38 AM
the rube Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,934 Last Post: 10/15/2009 Member Since: 10/22/2007	Date: 2/4/2008 7:21:52 PM Author: surfgirl Just for future reference (as I know this is of no help right now), I would never buy anything significant from any jewelry store that had only a 7 day return policy. That's not very client-oriented...Most reputable stores have a 30 day return policy providing you return the ring in new condition, not worn hard. That said, you presumable LOVED this ring so much before finding out your BF might have overpaid for it. I say who cares the cost as long as you LOVE the ring/stone? Once you are wearing it, just love it as much as you did the day you saw it. Forget the price! Life isn't all about getting a deal, especially when it comes to one's ering. It's about the meaning behind the ring, and if you loved the ring before knowing it was overpriced, then continue to love it. Even more so! Once again, surfgirl said it. Heck - my diamond isn't perfect either but it's a symbol of our engagement and I love it more every day, just like him. You might feel better once he proposes and you have that sparkler on your hand... ........................ You say you want diamonds in a ring of gold...but all I want is you...
Posted: 2/5/2008 10:26:38 AM

P: 2/27/2008 3:46:46 PM
radiant girl Rough Rock Total Posts: 14 Last Post: 3/19/2008 Member Since: 2/4/2008	UPDATE!! So, I broke down one night and told my boyfriend about how I feared my stone was too deep and I had felt misled by the saleslady as to the quality of the cut. We had a long talk about, and while he was upset that the ring might have a problem with it (a bit of an understatement but he actually took it very well considering), he was very supportive about me going back to the jewelers to see what they would have to say about it. Here's where I have to say I'm thrilled I bought it at THIS jeweler because even after a year, they didn't even have to really hear why I didn't like the stone. They simply said, "you don't like it, we'll change it." So they searched for a new stone to replace the old one, and I got to see one they found today. It was beautiful! I could definitely see the difference between it and my too-deep one. So they are replacing it. Just like that. I never thought it would be so easy! The hard part was telling my boyfriend, and he really impressed me with his reaction. I just wanted to let you guys know how it turned out. I can't wait to post pictures once I get it. I can't wait to BE engaged!
Posted: 2/27/2008 3:46:46 PM

P: 2/27/2008 3:50:48 PM
sunnyd Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,542 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 11/5/2007	Good news! Glad it worked out for you. Now...pics when you get it!
Posted: 2/27/2008 3:50:48 PM

P: 2/27/2008 3:53:59 PM
Cleo Ideal Rock Total Posts: 931 Last Post: 9/21/2008 Member Since: 1/26/2008	Oh, congratulations, that's fantastic news! It sounds to me like you are going to have two awesome diamonds in your life... one in your e-ring, and one as your husband. :) x x x
Posted: 2/27/2008 3:53:59 PM

P: 2/27/2008 3:58:54 PM
MP Cut Rock Total Posts: 200 Last Post: 6/25/2008 Member Since: 1/24/2008	Wow, I'm quite sure that jeweler just earned a customer for life. It's nice to see a retailer take care of their customers especially when they are dealing with something so personal and life altering as an engagement. No one should have to convince themselves that they like their ring. It should simply make you break down in tears when you first see it.
Posted: 2/27/2008 3:58:54 PM

P: 2/27/2008 4:04:45 PM
777_LDY Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,050 Last Post: 1/14/2009 Member Since: 10/19/2007	That is such wonderful news! Congrats and I hope you post pics after he pops the big question!
Posted: 2/27/2008 4:04:45 PM

P: 2/27/2008 4:05:09 PM
bee* Ideal Rock Total Posts: 11,103 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 5/14/2006	that's amazing news! Congrats!
Posted: 2/27/2008 4:05:09 PM

P: 2/27/2008 4:07:56 PM
oldminer Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,964 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 9/4/2000	Your story is pretty amazing, unusual and with a surprise happy ending, too. I feared the worst, but you have made it right. You are sure to have learned many things from this experience which will make you a better buyer in the future. David S. Atlas GG(GIA), ASG, Sr. Mbr. NAJA www.datlas.com
Posted: 2/27/2008 4:07:56 PM

P: 2/27/2008 4:20:13 PM
kellyfish Ideal Rock Total Posts: 665 Last Post: 1/26/2009 Member Since: 3/1/2007	Now that is a terrific update. So nice to hear about your new outcome! Kelly C.
Posted: 2/27/2008 4:20:13 PM

P: 2/27/2008 5:04:40 PM
diamondseeker2006 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 17,609 Last Post: 11/18/2009 Member Since: 1/11/2006	Very good news indeed! I'm really thankful you can feel good about your diamond! ~~~ When in doubt...don't.~~~
Posted: 2/27/2008 5:04:40 PM

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