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»  » Promise Ring
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Promise Ring |
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| P: 12/25/2007 12:24:00 PM | |
matildawong Cut Rock Total Posts: 330 Last Post: 12/30/2008 Member Since: 5/31/2007 |
Hi everyone, Merry Christmas! This is my first thread and I'm putting it here because I am a LIW. Hope it's the right place. My bf has been cautioning me since Thanksgiving that we cannot afford a diamond this year. (I tend to dream up giant surprises that are...uh..impossible..sometimes.  ) This morning he told me to stay in bed (don't have to tell me twice!) and a minute later plopped my 18-yr-old beloved cat onto the bed with a big red bow on her neck with a beautiful cz ring on it. Then he handed me a ring box and said to open it for a note. Inside the box was another plastic/cz/I don't know what it is/ ring (halo! he does pay attention!) The note said "This is 'pro-temp' engagement ring #1. Like 'pro-temp' engagement ring #2, it can be exchanged at a financially-sound future date for a more resplendent engagement ring." It also said, "I love you M. When I give you the proper ring in exchange for this bauble at a more appropriate date, then I can ask you -- properly -- what needs asking." I was speechless. We have had a trying year -- one of those things where you go through something with someone and your relationship comes out stronger. Like growing can be painful sometimes, I guess. I am very touched and very happy. Please do not read one iota of dissapointment into the question that follows! We're both unsure of what to tell people. But even he asked me to ask "the diamond ladies" -- neither of us is sure what to do. Do I wear an obviously fakey ring? He said he felt funny proposing with one but that he absolutely would right then if I wanted him to.  I told him of San Diego Lady's sweet story and he thought it was the cutest thing ever. I thought perhaps just wear one (he couldn't decide which he liked better.  ) and call it a promise ring...? What do y'all think? |
| Posted: 12/25/2007 12:24:00 PM | |
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There are 18 replies to this message. There are 18 replies on this page. |
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| P: 12/25/2007 12:48:25 PM | |
LauraBabe08 Cut Rock Total Posts: 228 Last Post: 5/11/2009 Member Since: 10/3/2007 |
What a sweet story and congrats! I would definitely call it a promise ring since he didn't officially propose yet.
* March 14, 2009 * |
| Posted: 12/25/2007 12:48:25 PM | |
| P: 12/25/2007 12:55:29 PM | |
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matildawong Cut Rock Total Posts: 330 Last Post: 12/30/2008 Member Since: 5/31/2007 |
Thanks so much. And thanks for replying. I realized after I made the topic that I was in sheer terror that not one soul would reply!
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| Posted: 12/25/2007 12:55:29 PM | |
| P: 12/25/2007 2:38:32 PM | |
rubybeth Cut Rock Total Posts: 330 Last Post: 5/24/2009 Member Since: 11/12/2007 |
I would also call it a promise ring. Congrats on having a sweet guy! And merry Christmas!
"See the girl with the diamond ring/She knows how to shake that thing." —Ray Charles |
| Posted: 12/25/2007 2:38:32 PM | |
| P: 12/25/2007 5:15:28 PM | |
Miscka Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,674 Last Post: 11/10/2009 Member Since: 4/9/2007 |
well, I think that is such a sweet thing to do. I love that he is honest and obviously is crazy about you. As far as wearing it, I say rock it out! As long as you don't mislead people, there is nothing wrong with wearing a gift from the man you love, no matter what it is! Did you see Joolskie's thread in SMTR? Equally adorable. Merry Christmas!!!!
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| Posted: 12/25/2007 5:15:28 PM | |
| P: 12/25/2007 8:43:43 PM | |
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matildawong Cut Rock Total Posts: 330 Last Post: 12/30/2008 Member Since: 5/31/2007 |
Thanks so much, ladies. I am too honest for my own good sometimes -- so I will wear one of them and proudly announce that i'm engaged-in-training. Or something like that. I'll check out the other thread.
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| Posted: 12/25/2007 8:43:43 PM | |
| P: 12/25/2007 9:58:07 PM | |
princesss Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,581 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 3/18/2007 |
Date: 12/25/2007 8:43:43 PM Author: matildawong Thanks so much, ladies. I am too honest for my own good sometimes -- so I will wear one of them and proudly announce that i'm engaged-in-training. Or something like that. I'll check out the other thread. I love that expression. So cute! And I'd definitely wear the ring (it can be in training, too).
"It's hardest to love the ordinary things, she said, but you get lots of opportunities to practice." Storypeople |
| Posted: 12/25/2007 9:58:07 PM | |
| P: 12/26/2007 1:02:06 AM | |
DMBsGirl Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,583 Last Post: 10/3/2009 Member Since: 9/29/2006 |
How perfectly sweet! Enjoy your rings!
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| Posted: 12/26/2007 1:02:06 AM | |
| P: 12/26/2007 8:33:05 AM | |
CrookedRock Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,738 Last Post: 6/8/2009 Member Since: 5/8/2007 |
Adorable story! What a sweet, thoughtful guy you have! I would probably stick to telling people it is a promise ring, only so that when the real thing comes along it is that much more special to share! Don't rob yourself of the future joy, even though this really is just as great! Congrats!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ |
| Posted: 12/26/2007 8:33:05 AM | |
| P: 12/27/2007 1:21:10 PM | |
sweetjettagirl04 Cut Rock Total Posts: 463 Last Post: 7/21/2009 Member Since: 11/20/2007 |
I agree... Wear it with pride... BTW - do we get some hand shots of it?
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| Posted: 12/27/2007 1:21:10 PM | |
| P: 12/27/2007 1:36:10 PM | |
Harleigh Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,994 Last Post: 11/18/2009 Member Since: 6/30/2007 |
I love your story, and I think it is so very sweet! I think you should wear one of the rings as a promise ring, and no worries about what other people might say or think. We would love to see pictures of the rings if you care to share them with us. Congratulations, hon, you definitely deserve this happiness! Harleigh |
| Posted: 12/27/2007 1:36:10 PM | |
| P: 12/27/2007 1:46:14 PM | |
NewEnglandLady Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,159 Last Post: 11/25/2009 Member Since: 7/27/2007 |
Congrats! What a cute story!! When it comes to wearing the ring, I think you just need to do whatever makes you happy. If you want to rock the ring, then rock the ring with pride! A friend of mine was in a similar situation--though he proposed with a fakey ring--and she decided to buy a simple band to wear as a placeholder until they bought the real ring a couple of months later. I've been looking at some sapphire bands lately and am really amazed at how many great pieces of jewelry you can buy for $200 or less. I'd be happy to wear the fakey ring, but if you'd rather have something else, that's fine too!
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| Posted: 12/27/2007 1:46:14 PM | |
| P: 12/27/2007 1:46:23 PM | |
SanDiegoLady Ideal Rock Total Posts: 14,245 Last Post: 11/25/2009 Member Since: 7/6/2005 |
AWWW! SWEET!!! I wore a fakey mc fakerton for a long time before my DH could afford a diamond for me. I still have it.. and the original straw he proposed with. I love them both. Congratulations sweetie!!   |
| Posted: 12/27/2007 1:46:23 PM | |
| P: 12/27/2007 2:56:02 PM | |
louisvgirl Cut Rock Total Posts: 323 Last Post: 1/15/2009 Member Since: 10/9/2007 |
awwwwwwww..........what a sweet story........and a sweet guy you have...........where your fakey with pride.............your should post pics of your beloved rings.........we would love to see them....
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| Posted: 12/27/2007 2:56:02 PM | |
| P: 12/27/2007 5:56:08 PM | |
redfaerythinker Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,259 Last Post: 11/19/2009 Member Since: 6/7/2007 |
What a sweet story. And I agree, we definitely need some hand shots!
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| Posted: 12/27/2007 5:56:08 PM | |
| P: 1/2/2008 2:15:52 AM | |
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matildawong Cut Rock Total Posts: 330 Last Post: 12/30/2008 Member Since: 5/31/2007 |
Thanks for all the sweet, thoughtful replies from all of you! Harleigh, I've been thinking about you... I will post some pics of my fakey mcfakertons (I love it, San Diego Lady. I'm in SD too, btw!) ... if I can figure out how to make my bling sparkle with my new camera. (hee hee.) I have been wearing the smaller one with much pride. If anyone asks I just say it's a promise ring and that I love it and that I get to pick out a real one eventually. We drove up to Carmel for a little vacation and I wore my ring the entire time.  It's so not about the ring -- that's the coolest part. I'd be happy to wear this one forever. (But I do have to say with a wicked little grin that this training ring has me even more excited to get a real one someday.) Happy New Year, everyone.
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| Posted: 1/2/2008 2:15:52 AM | |
| P: 1/2/2008 2:26:41 PM | |
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Harleigh Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,994 Last Post: 11/18/2009 Member Since: 6/30/2007 |
Hi Sweet Molly, You are so very kind, as always, and I thank you for that. I am hanging in there, though each day is still a little bit of a struggle. I'm hoping the days to come continue to get easier with each passing one. I am going to try to focus on my wedding plans to keep my mind occupied more in the coming months. Thank you so much for thinking of me and for always being so thoughtful. Now, back to you, you lucky girl! I am so very happy for you, and I absolutely love your spirit about your rings! You have the right attitude, which is part of the reason your guy loves you, I'm sure. I, too, would have worn them proudly, no matter what they were made of, simply because they were from the man I love. Your willingness to wear them I'm sure showed your guy that the ring isn't the most important thing to you, and will probably make him all the more likely to put the ring of your dreams there as soon as he is able to. I would love to see pictures of your "fakey mcfakerton's" (love that, btw!) whenever you get a chance to take them and post them for all of us. I think your "training" ring will definitely help you decide what you like/don't like in a ring and will help you decide what you will want when the time for the "real thing" comes! I am so happy for you, and I hope the New Year brings you every happiness! Harleigh |
| Posted: 1/2/2008 2:26:41 PM | |
| P: 1/6/2008 7:32:21 PM | |
hearts-arrows_girl Cut Rock Total Posts: 293 Last Post: 10/31/2009 Member Since: 4/18/2007 |
Date: 12/25/2007 12:24:00 PM Wow! I would have let him ask me right then with those rings! You can get married without an expensive engagement ring! I say let him ask you, then start making the wedding plans. I wouldn't want to wait until my guy could afford an expensive diamond. Some people would be waiting forever! And some unscrupulous ill-intentioned guys, use the old "I can't afford a ring, so we can't be engaged yet" to stall a while longer. Your guy sounds more than ready to be engaged! I love the idea of the "what I could afford now ring" I think the fakey ring was more symbolic, than something he expected you to wear everyday. Quick, go back and have him ask you, then you are not promised, but ENGAGED!
Author:matildawong Hi everyone, Merry Christmas! This is my first thread and I'm putting it here because I am a LIW. Hope it's the right place. My bf has been cautioning me since Thanksgiving that we cannot afford a diamond this year. (I tend to dream up giant surprises that are...uh..impossible..sometimes. ) This morning he told me to stay in bed (don't have to tell me twice!) and a minute later plopped my 18-yr-old beloved cat onto the bed with a big red bow on her neck with a beautiful cz ring on it. Then he handed me a ring box and said to open it for a note. Inside the box was another plastic/cz/I don't know what it is/ ring (halo! he does pay attention!) The note said 'This is 'pro-temp' engagement ring #1. Like 'pro-temp' engagement ring #2, it can be exchanged at a financially-sound future date for a more resplendent engagement ring.' It also said, 'I love you M. When I give you the proper ring in exchange for this bauble at a more appropriate date, then I can ask you -- properly -- what needs asking.' I was speechless. We have had a trying year -- one of those things where you go through something with someone and your relationship comes out stronger. Like growing can be painful sometimes, I guess. I am very touched and very happy. Please do not read one iota of dissapointment into the question that follows! We're both unsure of what to tell people. But even he asked me to ask 'the diamond ladies' -- neither of us is sure what to do. Do I wear an obviously fakey ring? He said he felt funny proposing with one but that he absolutely would right then if I wanted him to. I told him of San Diego Lady's sweet story and he thought it was the cutest thing ever. I thought perhaps just wear one (he couldn't decide which he liked better. ) and call it a promise ring...? What do y'all think? Junebug |
| Posted: 1/6/2008 7:32:21 PM | |
| P: 1/7/2008 2:01:38 AM | |
Galateia Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,218 Last Post: 8/17/2009 Member Since: 5/9/2006 |
I can understand if you are uncomfortable with calling it a promise ring. I have a promise ring myself, even though I am not a fan of them in general. I once believed them to be juvenile and a sign that the wearer was some sort of airheaded throwback to the dark ages who was probably too young to get married. Of course, eventually I realized that my entire exposure to promise rings had been on the hands of juvenile girls in high school or fresh out of it, who were airheaded throwbacks from the dark ages who were too young and immature to get married, but that not all promise rings were a harbringer of some sentimental idiocy that was about to be spewed my way. Our situation is a little unusual and warranted a sign of commitment but an engagement was not appropriate, and when people ask, I tell them it is a 'placeholder' ring that is "keeping [my] finger warm in the meantime". They either laugh or ask my age immediately after and I get to enjoy watching their jaws drop when I tell them I'm 27. (27? Wearing a promise ring?! Scandal ! )So if you are uncomfortable with calling it a promise ring and 'pro-temp engagement ring' is too much of a mouthful, call it a placeholder instead and beam over how eager your boyfriend is to get the real thing and propose at last. Legally cohabitated |
| Posted: 1/7/2008 2:01:38 AM | |
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