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 Catholic 1st Communion gift?

P:  5/8/2007 11:21:06 AM  
zdrastvootya
zdrastvootya

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We've been invited to my friend's daughter's 1st communion.  There's a dinner afterward. 

I believe a gift is appropriate?  I'm thinking money, but not sure how much.  One friend suggested $200 (Cdn), but he's Italian and I'm thinking like for their weddings, they give large cash amounts.  (My friends aren't Italian.)  I guess we're at least trying to cover the cost of dinner.  (I don't think the dinner will cost $100 per person.)  $200 is more than we give at some weddings (Chinese).  Can anyone comment or make a suggestion? 

Z. 


"If we shadows have offended ..."
Posted:  5/8/2007 11:21:06 AM

 There are 20 replies to this message.  There are 20 replies on this page.

P: 5/8/2007 11:27:15 AM
jcrow
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not sure about the money, or the amount.
i've always given a religious gift. a special rosary, prayer book, a cross, religious jewerly, etc to the child.

Posted:  5/8/2007 11:27:15 AM
P: 5/8/2007 11:32:51 AM
Hudson_Hawk
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I was always given religious-type gifts like a rosary, bible, etc. I think money is nice as well. I wouldn't worry about the cost of the meal, give what you feel is appropriate. I personally buy savings bonds to give to children instead of giving cash/check.


That's Mrs. Hudson_Hawk to you... Over and out.

Posted:  5/8/2007 11:32:51 AM
P: 5/8/2007 12:23:32 PM
crown1
crown1

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i feel my thought will not be popular with most here but i would not give money. i think that our society is becoming too absorbed with gifts for one occasion or another. i give gifts constantly and love doing it but i long ago gave up giving cash. i also do not do gift cards. in my thinking a gift is a token given to express your affection or to honor an occasion. the giver chooses what to give not the recipient. i would do as the others have suggested above or find something else age appropriate to give the child.


the next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are c.s. lewis

Posted:  5/8/2007 12:23:32 PM
P: 5/8/2007 12:30:01 PM
crown1
crown1

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i tried to edit but i could not make it work. i feel 200 is too much for this occasion. i think 100 or less is fine.


the next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are c.s. lewis

Posted:  5/8/2007 12:30:01 PM
P: 5/8/2007 12:34:08 PM
zdrastvootya
zdrastvootya

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So cash it is!!!  Just kidding. 

Thanks, all for your feedback.  I find the religious gift idea raises interesting questions.  I think such gifts are easier to pick when you're of the same denomination/faith.  I'm not Catholic (Protestant).  My wife is not Christian. 

Z. 

"If we shadows have offended ..."

Posted:  5/8/2007 12:34:08 PM
P: 5/8/2007 12:44:08 PM
SanDiegoLady
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Date: 5/8/2007 11:21:06 AM
Author:zdrastvootya
We've been invited to my friend's daughter's 1st communion. There's a dinner afterward.

I believe a gift is appropriate? I'm thinking money, but not sure how much. One friend suggested $200 (Cdn), but he's Italian and I'm thinking like for their weddings, they give large cash amounts. (My friends aren't Italian.) I guess we're at least trying to cover the cost of dinner. (I don't think the dinner will cost $100 per person.) $200 is more than we give at some weddings (Chinese). Can anyone comment or make a suggestion?

Z.


My daughter did not receive gifts for her first communion, however my (now ex) husband and I bought her a strand of pearls and the rosary that was my something borrowed for my wedding last August. The church presented her with a bible.








Posted:  5/8/2007 12:44:08 PM
P: 5/8/2007 1:51:08 PM
jcrow
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Date: 5/8/2007 12:34:08 PM
Author: zdrastvootya
So cash it is!!! Just kidding.

Thanks, all for your feedback. I find the religious gift idea raises interesting questions. I think such gifts are easier to pick when you're of the same denomination/faith. I'm not Catholic (Protestant). My wife is not Christian.

Z.


i would suggest going into a catholic gift shoppe. they have a section of 1st communion gifts. i'm sure someone who works there would also be able to make suggestions and point you in the right direction.

Posted:  5/8/2007 1:51:08 PM
P: 5/8/2007 1:54:50 PM
Skippy123
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I am Catholic and I think a nice bible from a catholic store or money is good.  I gave money recently too. 

Skippy






"The only things that stand between a person and what they want in life are the will to try it, and the faith to believe it's possible" Rich Devos

Posted:  5/8/2007 1:54:50 PM
P: 5/8/2007 2:20:10 PM
laine
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The religious gifts are nice in theory, but what 7 year old really appreciates a bible? I would give something like a charm bracelet with a charm that commemorates the first communion (a cross, a circle engraved with the date, or they may make actual first communion charms, I don't know), or maybe a necklace of some sort: something the child will like, but is also a keepsake. If you wanted to do money (either in addition or instead of a gift), I'd do a savings bond. In terms of how much, $200 is way too much. I would only expect $100 from maybe grandparents or godparents. I'd go around $50, personally.

Posted:  5/8/2007 2:20:10 PM
P: 5/8/2007 2:28:02 PM
Skippy123
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Date: 5/8/2007 2:20:10 PM
Author: laine
The religious gifts are nice in theory, but what 7 year old really appreciates a bible? I would give something like a charm bracelet with a charm that commemorates the first communion (a cross, a circle engraved with the date, or they may make actual first communion charms, I don't know), or maybe a necklace of some sort: something the child will like, but is also a keepsake. If you wanted to do money (either in addition or instead of a gift), I'd do a savings bond. In terms of how much, $200 is way too much. I would only expect $100 from maybe grandparents or godparents. I'd go around $50, personally.


I agree with the amount of money Laine says is appropriate. 

They have bibles made just for children. 

Skippy






"The only things that stand between a person and what they want in life are the will to try it, and the faith to believe it's possible" Rich Devos

Posted:  5/8/2007 2:28:02 PM
P: 5/8/2007 5:07:11 PM
zdrastvootya
zdrastvootya

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But what if all the friends of the parents end up buying bibles?  That's a lot of bibles. 

(I just had a funny thought about trying to return a bible to the store.) 

Z. 

"If we shadows have offended ..."

Posted:  5/8/2007 5:07:11 PM
P: 5/8/2007 5:08:58 PM
jcrow
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Date: 5/8/2007 5:07:11 PM
Author: zdrastvootya
But what if all the friends of the parents end up buying bibles? That's a lot of bibles.

(I just had a funny thought about trying to return a bible to the store.)

Z.


that's why i didn't suggest a bible. plus there are TONS of bible versions out there. don't want to buy the wrong one

Posted:  5/8/2007 5:08:58 PM
P: 5/8/2007 5:10:00 PM
poptart
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I got four bibles for my first communion and at least 3 or 4 rosaries. If it were me I would just give them money. I never even opened any of those bibles, either, and the rosaries are still sitting unused in my jewelry box, haha!

*M*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Don't take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway." Anonymous

Posted:  5/8/2007 5:10:00 PM
P: 5/8/2007 6:01:56 PM
dtnyc
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Date: 5/8/2007 2:20:10 PM
Author: laine
The religious gifts are nice in theory, but what 7 year old really appreciates a bible? I would give something like a charm bracelet with a charm that commemorates the first communion (a cross, a circle engraved with the date, or they may make actual first communion charms, I don't know), or maybe a necklace of some sort: something the child will like, but is also a keepsake. If you wanted to do money (either in addition or instead of a gift), I'd do a savings bond. In terms of how much, $200 is way too much. I would only expect $100 from maybe grandparents or godparents. I'd go around $50, personally.


Funny you suggested a charm- I got a gold 1st communion charm/pendant (a disc style charm w/ cup/cross, etc) and when I had my gold charm bracelet made after collecting charms for a while, I made sure that my little 1st communion charm was on it!

My godfather gave me a 14kt gold heart pendant w/ a pearl in the heart as a gift- I still have that many many moons later as well.

Posted:  5/8/2007 6:01:56 PM
P: 5/8/2007 7:39:23 PM
laine
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Date: 5/8/2007 6:01:56 PM
Author: dtnyc
Date: 5/8/2007 2:20:10 PM

Author: laine

The religious gifts are nice in theory, but what 7 year old really appreciates a bible? I would give something like a charm bracelet with a charm that commemorates the first communion (a cross, a circle engraved with the date, or they may make actual first communion charms, I don't know), or maybe a necklace of some sort: something the child will like, but is also a keepsake. If you wanted to do money (either in addition or instead of a gift), I'd do a savings bond. In terms of how much, $200 is way too much. I would only expect $100 from maybe grandparents or godparents. I'd go around $50, personally.



Funny you suggested a charm- I got a gold 1st communion charm/pendant (a disc style charm w/ cup/cross, etc) and when I had my gold charm bracelet made after collecting charms for a while, I made sure that my little 1st communion charm was on it!


My godfather gave me a 14kt gold heart pendant w/ a pearl in the heart as a gift- I still have that many many moons later as well.



Thats what I love about my charm bracelets, I have permanent reminders of these many occasions over the years. The money gets spent, the little gifts get lost or used, clothes get worn out, but I'll always have my charms. I probably have 7 or 8 bracelets now (sterling), and while I don't wear them, I still collect charms to commemorate occasions and trips and things.

Posted:  5/8/2007 7:39:23 PM
P: 5/9/2007 12:41:35 AM
scarleta
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It really depends on how well you know the girl? $ 200 is a lot of cash for a girl.Maybe a religious gift ? I once took some photos of a religious ceremony and had them developed as well as some printed nicely and apparently that was the best gift they received because no one took pictures of the ceremony.Just an idea.These days everyone has a digital camera so my not be necessary.Anyways it is not about the gift but your presence there..

Posted:  5/9/2007 12:41:35 AM
P: 6/17/2007 4:19:40 PM
gingerBcookie
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we are the godparents and very honored to be asked!  i just wanted to get something very special, esp since we are the godparents.  i broached the topic of a savings bond type thing with the mother, but she indicated that the baby's grandparent already have him set up quite well ().  I googled babptism gifts, but a lot of them seem girl based, and ou god child is a boy.  Found a nice male-ish rosary, but i feel like these are such useless gifts ya'know?  thank for all the help!

Posted:  6/17/2007 4:19:40 PM
P: 6/17/2007 4:43:51 PM
AGBF
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My brother and I are not Catholic, but he is raising his daughters in the Catholic Church. (I guess one could say he has raised them in the Catholic Church since the younger one has now been confirmed.)

I always got my nieces religious but personal gifts for their christenings (baptisms); first holy communions; and confirmations. I recently asked if the younger wanted cross earrings for her confirmation, but she already had a pair and asked if I would get her heart shaped earrings instead, so I did. I got her small gold heart stud earrings, each with a tiny diamond in it, and a matching pendant. As I was buying the gift my brother had shared with me that that his daughter was having doubts about Catholicism before her confirmation but that she planned to go through with it. (I had a sense of of a collective sigh of relief going up in their household at the idea that her mother's life would not be ruined!) My brother said that Sarah might wind up a Hindu, however.

There are lovely books that one can give children as First Holy Communion gifts, too. I love the ones about Narnia by C.S. Lewis.

Deborah

A Girl's Best Friend

Posted:  6/17/2007 4:43:51 PM
P: 6/17/2007 10:12:25 PM
monarch64
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I love the charm idea...maybe you could ask your friend if a charm bracelet has been started for her daughter?  I have a YG charm bracelet that I don't wear very often, my parents got me the bracelet and two charms to start with when I graduated college, hee hee, but i love it and have kept adding onto it since then.  Every time DH and I go on vacation we buy a charm for it from whatever location we're in, it's so fun to have that "mission" each time we travel, and it will be always be one of my all time favorite pieces of jewelry.  There are a ton of great charms in different designs you could give for a first communion...James Avery makes great charms, and there are lots of online vendors who make nice charms you could purchase from.  DH got me a beagle charm to represent our first dog we got together from a website called preciousaccents.com, I think.  It's solid gold and 3 dimensional, which I like better than the charms you find at mall stores that are typically flat and 1 dimensional...

ETA:  Oh, and i forgot to mention that James Avery (jamesavery.com) has first communion jewelry in either sterling or 14k YG as well.  I get their catalog and noticed that recently. 

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." Henry David Thoreau

Posted:  6/17/2007 10:12:25 PM
P: 6/17/2007 11:43:16 PM
sipper
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I came across this thread late, but since I've just been through this with my own son, I'd thought I'd add my $.02 for furture reference.   My son did receive several gifts of money, but being only eight years old, those gifts really didn't impress him much.  My mother gave him some money, along with a small trinket box with an angel on it.  He has been fascinated with that trinket box, and has put some of the momentos of his first communion inside (a rosary, scapular, and pin which he also received as gifts).  He was also given a small commenmorative statue by one friend, and some books containing Bible stories.    He seemed to appreciate those as well.   I think it's fine to give gifts of money on occasions like these, but I do think some small momento which signifies the occasions would be appropriate to go along with the money.  It doesn't have to be anything expensive, just something that might be meaningful.  Most relgious bookstores or gift shops will have such items.  I've also found nice little gifts for this type of occasion in the gift shops of Catholic Hospitals.  Girls are much easier to buy for than boys, in my experience.   Most girls will appreciate a gift of jewelry like the ones that have already been suggested.  My own daughter is now a teenager, but she still has the picture frame and the first communion doll she received when she made her first communion.  She was confirmed a few months ago, and was given a set of pearl studs by her aunt, a silver cross necklace from her grandparents, the rosary my best friend carried at her wedding, and a sliver charm bracelet with her patron saint from her father and me.  Along with a little moola, of course. 

If monetary gifts are given for such occasions, I think anything over $50 is probably too much unless it is given by a close relative or by a godparent. 

Posted:  6/17/2007 11:43:16 PM

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