OH NO... GF has different tastes!

Date: 11/26/2006 9:26:20 AM
Author:Ordieth
oh boy.... Girlfriend came up for thanksgiving, and I gave her some diamond earings for our anniversary. (nothing expensive, or note worthy, I need to save money)

Anyway... this gift got her thinking, and she wanted to goto some of the local mall jewelry stores to try to show me what settings she liked. As it turns out, I like the 3 stones, and she didn't even look at them!!!! She liked a lot of the tension settings and split bands... (mall jewelry just doesn't look right)

I feel like she has very different tastes than me, and that the ring I was planning may not be something she would like. However, her tastes keep changing (much like the seasons here in michigan ) and she has now decided that she wants white gold / platinum instead of the yellow gold she wanted a couple months ago...

So, I think I can fit all of her requirements for a ring into my design, but I would really like to keep the 3 stone look....

Do you think this would be selfish? do you think it could cause problems? I know it's her ring, but I would like it to have a little piece of my tastes as well... oh boy am I very confused...

Date: 11/26/2006 9:32:32 AM
Author: sna77

This probably won't be popular opinion, but... I say get what you like. She'll love it if its from you... You'll love it if its what you like. Win-Win for everyone. ;) I'd have a hard time droping XXXX dollars on something I hated.

Date: 11/26/2006 9:34:30 AM
Author: diamondseeker2006


You've gotta be a guy. And you have a lot to learn on here, too! It is not win-win if she wants a solitaire and he gives her a 3 stone.

Date: 11/26/2006 9:36:45 AM
Author: sna77

women are so confusing.

Date: 11/26/2006 9:46:34 AM
Author: mtrb
OK... first off, forget about what you want.
Secondly...are you even sure what she wants??.. if she keeps changing her mind I would suggest you at least find out the type of diamond she wants? Does she like round princess etc.?.. If that is the case you can do what I did and just buy a plain 4/6 prong white gold solitaire and then let HER CHOOSE later.
Just focus on getting her an awesome diamond, spend $150.00 on the simple solitaire and let her upgrade to whatever she wishes. That way you are happy, she is happy.. and you are not in the doghouse...lol..

Date: 11/26/2006 9:59:46 AM
Author: Ordieth



I am sure I know what she wants. This is what she has been telling me for years:

'Simple, but unique'
'Big center diamond'
'Round Diamond'

oh yea.. and she 'Want's to be Surprised'

Beyond that, the details keep chaninging....

I just feel like we started out with the same knowledge, but as I have learned more, I have gone through an 'Ageing' process of sorts...

while we were shopping, it was just like when I first went shopping. So this is why I was thinking about keeping the 3 stones, because it still covers all the major points, and it has a little of me in it, but I dont want to end up in the dog house.

well, I have all of today to really think about it... I will ask my friends and some of her family about it, that should help me out. (I hope....)

I'll post back again as my decisions sway.... Thank you everyone.

Date: 11/26/2006 9:59:46 AM
Author: Ordieth

I am sure I know what she wants. This is what she has been telling me for years:

'Simple, but unique'
'Big center diamond'
'Round Diamond'

Date: 11/26/2006 10:22:05 AM
Author: Ellen

So there you go, you know what she wants. You wanted to put a little spin on it, and that's sweet, but I doubt it's what she really would like. Besides, if you take the money you were going to spend on the sides, you can get a much bigger diamond, which I would imagine she WOULD like.

Something that a lot of people (not just men) find hard to understand is, real gift giving means getting what the recipient would like, not the giver.

Date: 11/26/2006 4:00:57 PM
Author: havernell
Three points:

1) I couldn't tell from your post- do you absolutely HATE HATE HATE the tension settings, split bands, etc that your girlfriend seemed to like? Or do you think they are pretty rings but are just personally a bit more partial to the three stone? I think that has a bearing on what the answer to your question is.

If you absolutely HATE the settings she was gravitating towards, then I think you and she need to go to a lot more stores/look at settings online together and try to find a setting you both like. But, if you do like the tension/split shank settings as well (i.e. you would be proud to have hear wear it as an e-ring) but just tend to like the three-stone a little better yourself, perhaps getting her something she'll love and that you like a whole lot (i.e the tension) is the way to go.

2) Also, I think your girlfriend might be changing her mind so much because, in reality, she hasn't looked at many settings at all yet and so she's not sure what is even out there for options! 'Simple, big, and round,' which you said is her preference, is *not* really specific at all (kind of sounds like what most girls say they want for an e-ring)! Basically, don't assume your girlfriend has thought much about settings at all (not all girls dream about their e-ring from birth, and even if they do that doesn't mean they know whats out there for sale at the moment). And one trip to a mall jewelry store does NOT qualify as her educating herself as to the range of settings that are available out there. I think she needs to look at a lot more options before she can make up her mind. Like someone else said- introduce her to three stone rings. Maybe she doesn't think of them as engagement rings now (some people view them as more anniversary rings), but if you put the idea into her head she may just run with it and end up wanting one!

3) Finally, I can see why right now while you are doing all of the researching of diamonds, settings, etc you feel really connected to the ring and therefore feel that it's important for your tastes to shine through. But I wonder how many men 1, 5, 10 years after they are married even give a second thought to their wife's engagement ring. I have a feeling that you aren't going to be thinking obsessively about her ring like you are now at any other point in time. However, if she puts on a ring everyday that's not her style, she WILL think obsessively about the ring everyday. Does that make any sense? Do you think about other gifs you've given to her as much now as you did when you were shoppig for them? I know I don't and I think that's natural. So, consider that too.

Good luck with the whole ring thing!

Date: 11/26/2006 9:32:32 AM
Author: sna77

This probably won't be popular opinion, but... I say get what you like. She'll love it if its from you... You'll love it if its what you like. Win-Win for everyone. ;) I'd have a hard time droping XXXX dollars on something I hated. Think of it as buying her a car... If she wanted a minivan would you buy it for her? Sure its the car she asked for, but then you're wife would be driving a mini van. Get her the cool SUV.

hahah. I'm about to get flamed by every women on this board. hehe only half serious ladies. ;)

Date: 11/26/2006 10:03:14 AM
Author: giotto
How can I put this to you? In my opinion, a woman who says that she will love anything that her man buys her really means that she hopes her man knows her well enough and cares enough about her to buy her something that she will adore.

It's the same when we're redecorating. I scout around, check out colours, fabrics, furniture etc, come up with a plan, with perhaps several possibilities to present to my husband and sincerely hope that he picks out my favourite possibility. If he doesn't, then I have to start a re-education programme to get him to come round to my way of thinking.