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 Need some good thoughts

P:  9/17/2006 9:07:03 AM  
allycat0303
allycat0303

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Hey everyone,

I really need some good thoughts. My Dad was hositalizd on Friday night for massive gastrointestinal bleeding.  It started quite suddenly, and the blood loss was truly frightening (I went down to have a look and called an ambulance). We're having a really difficult time now (one because of the hideously terrible hospital staff) on the night he was admitted, the nurse very rudely would not let us see his medcial file (stating that only the treating doctor could give us access to the file) Which is a BALD FACE LIE. Considering, there are 3 MEDICAL STUDENTS in this family we KNOW a LIE when we hear it.

So after demanding to see superiors, generally throwing our weight around we managed to get some info, because both times the doctor came to see my father we were all in school, or my mom was at work.

And the end result was "they have no clue what is causing the bleeding"

At this point, his blood on friday was 103, on saturday 97 and on sunday 93. Although at this point he's not bleeding massive quantities, the slight drop in red blood cells could be a) an artifact within the normal range of error b) that he is currently still bleeding out from a source which they cannot at this point locate. If the blood level drops more, and he starts to show symptoms of having loss "too much blood" then they will transfuse him...although mind you, this is conclusions we came up with because NO ONE IS TALKING TO US!!! OR TO MY FATHER. Both times when we got there, we asked to speak to the doctor, and he was BOTH times unavilable.

I'm not terrified at this point because my Dad was hospitalized 15 years ago for a very similar episode, after two weeks in the hospital he was released, although they were never able to pinpoint what was wrong. I'm just uneasy that this is going to be a different turnout. And I am really enormously frustrated that no one is giiving us any information.

Everytime I post on this site, things go better so hopefully everything will be fine.
Posted:  9/17/2006 9:07:03 AM

 There are 41 replies to this message.  There are 30 replies on this page.

P: 9/17/2006 9:41:05 AM
Ellen
Ellen

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ally, sending good thoughts, and hoping your dad begins to improve soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It is also important for the State to inculcate in its subjects an aversion to any 'conspiracy theory of history' for a search for 'conspiracies' means a search for motives and an attribution of responsibility for historical misdeeds."

-Murray N. Rothbard, in The Anatomy of the State



John Swinton [1829-1901] Chief Editorial Writer of the New York Times (Considered "the Dean of his Profession" by his peers), when asked to toast an 'Independent Press' in a gathering at the National Press Club, circa 1880

"There is no such thing in America as an independent press unless it is in the country towns. You know it, and I know it. There is not one of you who dare express an honest opinion. If you express it you know beforehand that it would never appear in print. I am paid... for keeping my honest opinions out of the paper I am connected with. Others of you are paid similar salaries for doing similar things....

The business of the New York journalist is to distort the truth, to lie outright, to pervert, to vilify, to fawn at the feet of Mammon, and sell his country and race for his daily bread, or for what is about the same thing, his salary. You know this, and I know it and what foolery to be toasting an 'independent press.' We are tools, and the vassals of rich men behind the scenes. We are jumping-jacks. They pull the strings and we dance. Our time, our talents, our lives, our possibilities, all are the property of other men. We are intellectual prostitutes."

Posted:  9/17/2006 9:41:05 AM
P: 9/17/2006 9:51:29 AM
darling
darling

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It sounds frustrating. Good luck and stay positive.

Posted:  9/17/2006 9:51:29 AM
P: 9/17/2006 10:51:18 AM
Madam Bijoux
Madam Bijoux

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Sending hopes and prayers for your father's recovery.  Would it be possible to move him to a better hospital?

"I never met a diamond I didn't like."
No jewel is as beautiful as a cat's eyes.
Madam Bijoux (Gabrielle)

Posted:  9/17/2006 10:51:18 AM
P: 9/17/2006 11:13:07 AM
allycat0303
allycat0303

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Ellen, Darling: Thanks for the positive thoughts.

Madame Bijoux: We're in the process of trying to do that. Although the Canadian system is a little complex, so the issue is that we would have to discharge him, and then go through the whole admitting process again by waiting in emergency, blood test etc., which in itself would be about a 2 day process. Because he's not showing any acute symptoms at this point, the delay to become re-admitted might be even longer then we think. We're worried that if his condition deteriotes during this 2 day period, we might have been better leaving him at the original (albeit frustrating and uninformative) one.

Posted:  9/17/2006 11:13:07 AM
P: 9/17/2006 11:36:42 AM
Dee*Jay
Dee*Jay

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Alley - It must be so frustrating for you not to get any real or good information, but keep being the squeaky wheel and they will have to respond eventually. Big hugs coming your way, and please keep us posted.

Posted:  9/17/2006 11:36:42 AM
P: 9/17/2006 11:44:19 AM
Jelly
Jelly

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Ally, I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad.  It sounds very frustrating and infuriating that no one is talking to you.

Posted:  9/17/2006 11:44:19 AM
P: 9/17/2006 11:44:36 AM
Kaleigh
Kaleigh

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Hang in there Alley!!!  Hopfeully this will be a quick episode and your dad will be fine in a few days.  I'd really want to know the cause of this, so stay on top of it.  Good thing you're in Med school.  Big HUGS!!!

____________________________
Piece of cake and a candle.
**ng gift**

Posted:  9/17/2006 11:44:36 AM
P: 9/17/2006 11:50:08 AM
hlmr
hlmr

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Hi Ally:

It is scary when you don't know exactly what's going on, and especially when there is no dialogue between the doctors and yourselves.

I will be thinking positive thoughts for your Dad, and I hope that you get some definitive answers very soon!!!

Best wishes,

Heather



"The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge." - Daniel Boorstin

Posted:  9/17/2006 11:50:08 AM
P: 9/17/2006 11:52:56 AM
canuk-gal
canuk-gal

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HI:

Wow, it's a lot to deal with!  Hope things are much better today and you are able to get some answers to your questions.

kind regards--Sharon

"People who possess great qualities, do not need to show off".

Posted:  9/17/2006 11:52:56 AM
P: 9/17/2006 12:29:26 PM
Dani
Dani

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So sorry to hear this Ally...

Unfortunately with all of the new confidentiality laws, it is very difficult to get access to or get any information about someone who is hospitalized...even if you are a family member.  It sucks.  Call the dr.'s service and ask for him to be paged directly so you can speak with him about your dad.

As someone who works in the field and who has been in this situation before, I understand how frustrating it could be.  One of my best friend's is a physician, and when his own father was hospitalized for cardiac issues, he asked to speak to the nurse about his dad's condition.  She would not even give him any information!!!!! He was so upset. 

Hopefully your dad won't need to be transfused, but he will surely be hospitalized for awhile until they find out where the bleeding is originating from. 

Good luck, and let us know how this works out....Sending get better vibes to your dad....

Posted:  9/17/2006 12:29:26 PM
P: 9/17/2006 12:48:50 PM
Kerbear560
Kerbear560

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Ally, I'm so sorry to hear about what's happening with your dad. How frustrating that you're not getting any answers, but at least with three medical students in the family, you know how things work in a hospital (You were able to tell when the staff lied to you, whereas a person without any sort of medical background may have said, "Oh well, I guess we aren't allowed to see the file," and not had any idea that they didn't have a clue as to what was causing the bleeding.). Also, you are able to keep on top of his condition, and are better equipped to make decisions (like whether or not to have him transferred, if it in fact comes to that). Your dad is truely lucky to have you guys looking out for him! I hope they figure out what's causing the bleeding soon, so they can fix the problem! Your dad (and you and the rest of your family) are in my thoughts and prayers!

Posted:  9/17/2006 12:48:50 PM
P: 9/17/2006 1:28:26 PM
allycat0303
allycat0303

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I AM LIVID

I went to the nurse (same one with the freakin attitude problem) and told her that if my father's file was not in his hands within the next five minutes, I was going to file an official complaint with her the Quebec nurses order, for breaking the law.
In Quebec once a patient has submitted a written request for access to his file, the hospital cannot deny this order unless he is a psychiatric patient, and to do so, they need to get a court order to stop him from seeing it.

She starts giving me this " well it's not going to useful to you so I don't know why you want it blah blah, I've been busy and haven't had the time" OH MY GOD! What was wrong with her?

In any case, file in hand, we at least know that the gastro doctor believes that the variation in blood count is possibly an artifact, and that they want to keep him hospitalized in case of futur uncontrolled bleeding. He's going to be sent to the Royal Victoria (Mcgill University Hospital) for furthur tests in nuclear medicine because they couldn't find the cause of the bleeding from the tests and technology available to them at this hospital.

So not positive, not negative. But my family is going to file a complaint against this nurse anyways. Her conduct has been absolutely unacceptable.

Posted:  9/17/2006 1:28:26 PM
P: 9/17/2006 2:01:45 PM
sevens one
sevens one

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oh Alley- I'm so sorry.
I can understand how completely frustrating it is to deal with the medical staff.
your father is in my prayers. (and your family; ofcourse)

______________________________
"You kept making all the stops?"
"Well, people kept ringing the bell!"
**ls gift**

Posted:  9/17/2006 2:01:45 PM
P: 9/17/2006 2:13:27 PM
curlygirl
curlygirl

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Oh ally, how incredibly frustrating.  I'm glad he's moving to a different hospital--perhaps the staff there will not be so rude and disrespectful.  You and your family are in my thoughts.  Keep us posted.

Posted:  9/17/2006 2:13:27 PM
P: 9/17/2006 2:23:49 PM
whatmeworry
whatmeworry

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prayers to for your father's speedy recovery

Posted:  9/17/2006 2:23:49 PM
P: 9/17/2006 2:32:55 PM
Cehrabehra
Cehrabehra

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I'm sorry, this is so scary and so much anxiety, I know... it sucks   I'll be giving you my best thoughts that this all turns out well.

Sara

The most beautiful experience we can have
is the mysterious - the fundamental emotion which
stands at the cradle of true art and true science.
~ Albert Einstein ~

Posted:  9/17/2006 2:32:55 PM
P: 9/17/2006 2:45:18 PM
diamondsrock
diamondsrock

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wow, bad enough your dad is sick but to have to deal with incompetent "professionals" is unbelievable.  Like you're not under enough stress right now.  I'm thinking of you and hoping your dad gets better (and out of that hospital!)

Practice an attitude of gratitude!

Posted:  9/17/2006 2:45:18 PM
P: 9/17/2006 3:23:28 PM
kcoursolle
kcoursolle

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Alley, I'm so sorry to hear the sad news.  I'm channeling good thoughts your way.  Hopefully the new hospital will have some good news for you and your family.  Your father is lucky to have someone as caring and thoughtful as you.   

Posted:  9/17/2006 3:23:28 PM
P: 9/17/2006 4:01:51 PM
anchor31
anchor31

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Ally, I'm so shocked you and your family are going through this right now... I can't believe you have to handle such a horrible nurse! I'm glad you have the knowledge and power to at least try to make things right though, I would have been so powerless...

My prayers are with you, don't hesitate to e-mail me if you want.

********
R & J
08-02-08
Expecting baby on 12-30-09

Posted:  9/17/2006 4:01:51 PM
P: 9/17/2006 5:41:56 PM
robbie3982
robbie3982

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Ally, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad.  I'm wishing him a speedy recovery and I really hope the new hospital has a much better staff.

********************************
Baby Desmond Jacob arrived on 6/28. So in love with my little man!

Posted:  9/17/2006 5:41:56 PM
P: 9/17/2006 10:48:17 PM
KimberlyH
KimberlyH

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Sending you, your father and your family good thoughts and prayers. 

Posted:  9/17/2006 10:48:17 PM
P: 9/17/2006 11:22:35 PM
monarch64
monarch64

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Sending good thoughts your way, sorry to hear of your father's health problems.

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." Henry David Thoreau

Posted:  9/17/2006 11:22:35 PM
P: 9/17/2006 11:57:02 PM
Gypsy
Gypsy

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Ally!! OMG! I would be livid too! What a nightmare. I would definitely file that complaint!  Wow. Of top of the stress and fear to deal with her... so not right. I'm sorry honey. I hope they start shaping up and that when he gets sent over to the other facility that he gets a nurse who is a help instead of a hinderance-- I did read that right, right? Royal Victoria (Mcgill University Hospital) is where he's going to be sent to-- right?I hope they find the cause of the bleeding and I hope that it's not anything serious! You and your father are in my prayers tonight. ((HUGS))

Posted:  9/17/2006 11:57:02 PM
P: 9/18/2006 12:01:38 AM
DiaDiva
DiaDiva

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Alleycat, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. My prayers are with you and family. Take care and hang in there.

Maria

Posted:  9/18/2006 12:01:38 AM
P: 9/18/2006 12:04:21 AM
diamondfan
diamondfan

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I will hope for a speedy recovery for your father and that the nurse realizes the error of her ways...

****************************
"There is no such thing as fun for the whole family-there are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry" Jerry Seinfeld

Posted:  9/18/2006 12:04:21 AM
P: 9/18/2006 3:54:22 AM
Arnel_Regina
Arnel_Regina

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Hey Ally,

I'm sorry to hear about your father and he's and your family are in my thoughts and prayers for the next few days...

I'm pissed off at the nurse too....I'm glad your taking the issue to a higher up and not letting it rest. She will continue to act like this until someone stops her or puts her in her place. She's supposed to help patients, and that includes their families in a very tough time.

I remember when my best friend's dad died...everyone was in the hospice room...the nurse asked us "we need to move the body because we need the room"...so her dad is now a body???? I thought a little more sensitivity was needed since he JUST passed away....everyone was still saying their good-byes.

I wish you the best and your dad is very lucky to have such a supportive and loving daughter.

Posted:  9/18/2006 3:54:22 AM
P: 9/18/2006 7:40:29 AM
Leila
Leila

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Ally, I'm sorry your father is ill and your family has to go through this.  It's unfortunate that in such a difficult time, the staff who should be helpful and supportive, is not.  Your father has my prayers.  I hope the he will get the treatment he needs and have a speedy recovery.

Posted:  9/18/2006 7:40:29 AM
P: 9/18/2006 2:23:35 PM
TravelingGal
TravelingGal

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It just amazes me how medical personnel can be so cold and rude when emotions are involved. I mean, I know they're not supposed to get emotionally involved themselves as it may cloud their judgment and make their work tough, but come on!  Some common courtesy and sympathy is certainly allowed!!

I have my fingers crossed for you and your family Ally...hope he pulls through with flying colors. 

_______________________

Travel quote of the week: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -Mark Twain

Posted:  9/18/2006 2:23:35 PM
P: 9/19/2006 12:50:56 PM
allycat0303
allycat0303

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Dee*Jay, Jelly, Kaleigh, hlmr, canuck-gal, Dani, Kerber 560, Sevens_one, Curlygirl, Whatmeworry, Cehrabehra, diamondsrock, kcoursolle, anchor, robbie3983, KimberlyH, Monarch64, Gypsy, DiaDiva, diamondfan, Arnel_Regina, Leila, TravelingGal, Alexis,

Thank you to all of you lovely ladies. My dad was transferred this morning to the Montreal General because they had exhausted all possible tests at Charles Lemoyne. At this point his condition is still unstable, and his hemoglobin level continues to drop although he has yet to show symptoms of having lost excessive blood loss. The policy here is to hold off on blood transfusions until the patient is showing severe symptoms.

I feel very isolated at this moment, because there's no one to share my worries with. My mom is taking this very badly, so I don't want to make the situation worst. But I'm starting to worry now because it has become obvious that he is still loosing blood, although it's occult blood, so not imediately obvious.

Thank you all for taking the time to write, and sending me positive thoughts.

Posted:  9/19/2006 12:50:56 PM
P: 9/19/2006 1:58:11 PM
KristyDarling
KristyDarling

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I cannot even imagine your worry and frustration at this point. Lots of hugs to you. I'll be thinking of your dad and your family. Please keep us posted.

Posted:  9/19/2006 1:58:11 PM

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