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»  » Hollywood Squares, back in the day......
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Hollywood Squares, back in the day...... |
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| P: 5/10/2006 8:28:57 PM | |
strmrdr Ideal Rock Total Posts: 23,296 Last Post: 10/9/2009 Member Since: 11/1/2003 |
And, for the record, if you have seen most of these when they came out, or can hear the voices of the people being quoted, you are OLD! You younger folks won't get a lot of it, because the voices, and knowing the delivery these people used, is half of the humor of it all. ------------------------------------------------ If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course. Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment. Q. As you grow older, do ! you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries. Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures. Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom. Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail.! What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. Q. While visiting China , your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does this mean? A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing. Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected. Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him. Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh ........... Karl has joined the diamond trade and is now posting as Karl_K |
| Posted: 5/10/2006 8:28:57 PM | |
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There are 6 replies to this message. There are 6 replies on this page. |
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| P: 5/10/2006 11:38:02 PM | |
Sundial Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,590 Last Post: 7/14/2009 Member Since: 3/14/2005 |
I hate to admit it, but I remember that show and those people (and yes I am old). This was hilarious - thanks for posting it!!!
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| Posted: 5/10/2006 11:38:02 PM | |
| P: 5/10/2006 11:41:19 PM | |
diamondfan Ideal Rock Total Posts: 10,997 Last Post: 11/22/2009 Member Since: 6/17/2005 |
OMG! I am only 40 but I loved game shows...I can see Paul Lynde right now! He was very bitchy sometimes but he was a hoot...
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| Posted: 5/10/2006 11:41:19 PM | |
| P: 5/11/2006 12:27:54 AM | |
monarch64 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 9,544 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 8/12/2005 |
I am 28 and still remember most of those people. But I grew up in a rural area without cable access and no satellite dish, so the majority of my t.v. watching was P.B.S. (Lawrence Welk, anyone?) or syndicated game shows, sports, soap operas, prime time dramas, and news. My favorite show as a girl was "Three's Company!"
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." Henry David Thoreau |
| Posted: 5/11/2006 12:27:54 AM | |
| P: 5/15/2006 4:12:52 PM | |
moon river Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,806 Last Post: 6/26/2006 Member Since: 1/7/2006 |
OMG I remember some of these quotes!!!!! Monarch-I always loved the Lawrence Welk show because of the bubbles. 
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| Posted: 5/15/2006 4:12:52 PM | |
| P: 5/15/2006 4:56:19 PM | |
Starset Cut Rock Total Posts: 271 Last Post: 8/15/2006 Member Since: 4/4/2006 |
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. Help, I don't get it....
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| Posted: 5/15/2006 4:56:19 PM | |
| P: 5/16/2006 2:41:43 PM | |
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moon river Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,806 Last Post: 6/26/2006 Member Since: 1/7/2006 |
Date: 5/15/2006 4:56:19 PM I assume it to mean that since it spent two years in a womb it would be used to dark places. Not one of Pauls better quipes.
Author: Starset Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. Help, I don't get it.... _____________________________ |
| Posted: 5/16/2006 2:41:43 PM | |
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