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 Do I re-use the stone?

P:  4/21/2006 4:04:39 PM  
newo2u
newo2u

Rough Rock
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    So, I have an old engagement ring from like 20 years ago.  I know enough not to re-use the ring; but is it acceptable to have the stone reset in a new engagement ring? 

It is a nice Lazare Kaplan, .52, E color VVS1.

Options are:
1) Re-set it.
2) FInd my local Lazare jeweler and trade up.
3) Or sell current ring and start over.

Thanks

 


Posted:  4/21/2006 4:04:39 PM

 There are 26 replies to this message.  There are 26 replies on this page.

P: 4/21/2006 4:11:57 PM
mrssalvo
mrssalvo

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I think it's totally up to you. I'd probably find a dealer and use it to trade up though.
I personally wouldn't want to keep it because it I would always associate it with the person who gave it to me. However, I know many people who have kept the ring and reset the stone into pendants, Right hand rings, etc.





-----------------------------
A deal is only a deal if you are getting exactly what you want.

Posted:  4/21/2006 4:11:57 PM
P: 4/21/2006 4:20:34 PM
FireGoddess
FireGoddess

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Forget sentiment at the moment.  Do you love the stone?  Adore it?  Could look at it 10 times a day or more and sigh with contentment?  If the answer is yes, then I say go for it and have it set into a new setting.  If it's just 'okay' or 'convenient' I would at least look into the option of finding a Lazare dealer and seeing about a trade up.  If you resell, you're not going to get nearly as much for it as it's worth unless you can maybe find a jeweler to resell it for you. 






Posted:  4/21/2006 4:20:34 PM
P: 4/21/2006 4:58:37 PM
laine
laine

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Are you the guy or girl in this situation? If you're a guy about to offer an old diamond (albeit in a new setting), I'd be very hesitant (it just seems a little weird, like you're just giving her whatever was convenient, its not as special), but if you're the girl, reusing your own old stone, fine, its up to you.

Personally, I'd either reset it as something else, or try to trade up. I wouldnt want something that symbolized my commitment to some other man as a symbol of commitment to my fiance. But thats just me, its whatever you and your fiance are comfortable with.

Posted:  4/21/2006 4:58:37 PM
P: 4/21/2006 5:03:50 PM
Miranda
Miranda

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JMHO...If you are a man, trade it in!  Don't propose to a new woman with the same stone you gave to someone else unless she knows about it and is ok with that.  If you are a preciously engaged woman and you love the stone and have no emotional attachment to it, wear it as a pendant. 

Posted:  4/21/2006 5:03:50 PM
P: 4/21/2006 5:37:26 PM
newo2u
newo2u

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Yep, I'm the guy.  The woman in question knows about the diamond and says she doesn't care, but I believe it is because she doesn't want me to spend more money on a new stone.  Still; I'm inclined to trade it in.  People I work with say if she's ok with it re-use it.  So, thought I'd ask for some independent answers.

So, new stone, new ring.

Posted:  4/21/2006 5:37:26 PM
P: 4/21/2006 5:40:17 PM
icekid
icekid

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Date: 4/21/2006 5:37:26 PM
Author: newo2u

So, new stone, new ring.

Yes!!  Unless you are CONVINCED that she really is ok with having a diamond that you gave someone else, get her something new!  I personally wouldn't be cool with it, and I would venture to say that most women would not.

Posted:  4/21/2006 5:40:17 PM
P: 4/21/2006 5:47:53 PM
movie zombie
movie zombie

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trade it in......

movie zombie

"I don't feel enjoyment watching films that evoke passivity. If you need that kind of comfort, I don't understand why you wouldn't go to a spa." Chan-wook Park

Posted:  4/21/2006 5:47:53 PM
P: 4/21/2006 6:07:15 PM
tawn
tawn

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Trade-up!  Better safe than sorry...

Posted:  4/21/2006 6:07:15 PM
P: 4/21/2006 6:12:39 PM
mrssalvo
mrssalvo

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ah, so you are a guy...we'll ignore part 2 of my first post..stick with part one..

definitely trade-up





-----------------------------
A deal is only a deal if you are getting exactly what you want.

Posted:  4/21/2006 6:12:39 PM
P: 4/21/2006 6:27:26 PM
Jelly
Jelly

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TRADE TRADE TRADE!!!

Don't re-use your ex's old stone.

Posted:  4/21/2006 6:27:26 PM
P: 4/21/2006 6:45:46 PM
Diamonds are Hot!
Diamonds are Hot!

Cut Rock
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Trade up!

Posted:  4/21/2006 6:45:46 PM
P: 4/21/2006 6:54:12 PM
FireGoddess
FireGoddess

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The fact that you're the guy completely changes my answer.  Do NOT use the same stone.  Either trade up, or start again. 






Posted:  4/21/2006 6:54:12 PM
P: 4/21/2006 7:30:14 PM
old-fashioned girl
old-fashioned girl

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Trade up or start over! 
"Don't re-use your ex's old stone." - Ditto!


 


 

Posted:  4/21/2006 7:30:14 PM
P: 4/21/2006 7:56:13 PM
moon river
moon river

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OOOHHH, Bad Karma. Trade it in at least.

_____________________________

"Oh, Golly gee damn!!"
----------------------------
"I'll tell you one thing Fred darling...I'd marry you for your money in a minute. Would you marry me for my money?"

***Holly Golightly***

Posted:  4/21/2006 7:56:13 PM
P: 4/21/2006 8:13:10 PM
justjulia
justjulia

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20 years ago?  Heck, a lot can happen to a guy in 20 years.  The question is, if you saw this stone today in a store and knew it was the right one for your girl, would you buy it?  If so, then keep the thing and forget about any sentiment.  Another option is to add another one to make a pair of earrings as your traditional wedding present to her, then get her a new engagement stone. 

"A thing of beauty is a joy forever." J Keats

Posted:  4/21/2006 8:13:10 PM
P: 4/21/2006 9:00:15 PM
Tacori E-ring
Tacori E-ring

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trade-up!

Posted:  4/21/2006 9:00:15 PM
P: 4/21/2006 9:49:37 PM
saturn
saturn

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Trade it in.  Even if she says she doesn't mind, it's not worth taking the chance.

Posted:  4/21/2006 9:49:37 PM
P: 4/21/2006 9:54:16 PM
EBree
EBree

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I absolutely agree with everyone else. Trade that sucker in for something that's hers and hers alone. She might say she doesn't care, but I bet she does.

Posted:  4/21/2006 9:54:16 PM
P: 4/21/2006 10:15:24 PM
SuzyQZ
SuzyQZ

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Trade in or trade UP!!  I don't believe any woman would want a diamond you purchased for someone else, no matter what she tells you!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are just some things you don't 'guess' about.... a womans age, her weight, or the size of her diamond!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SuzyQZ

Posted:  4/21/2006 10:15:24 PM
P: 4/22/2006 10:59:22 AM
moon river
moon river

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Date: 4/21/2006 10:15:24 PM
Author: SuzyQZ
Trade in or trade UP!! I don't believe any woman would want a diamond you purchased for someone else, no matter what she tells you!
DITTO. I'd be majorly PO'd. No matter how big and shiny.

_____________________________

"Oh, Golly gee damn!!"
----------------------------
"I'll tell you one thing Fred darling...I'd marry you for your money in a minute. Would you marry me for my money?"

***Holly Golightly***

Posted:  4/22/2006 10:59:22 AM
P: 4/22/2006 1:28:59 PM
wallermama
wallermama

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I, for one, would not care. If trading in or selling was going to make it difficult on you financially, (because either way you will lose money I'll wager) I would feel silly asking you to lose money on something that was from another LIFETIME. Twenty years is a whole lot different than, "Well, I gave this to Lady X three years ago, didn't work, do YOU want it?"

A diamond is a diamond to me...I believe in looking at them as the beautiful product of the earth they are. The setting should go, of course. But I personally don't attach sentiment to a diamond's history. My husband gave me his great great great grandmother's ring, and I love its history...I care not to dwell on some of its less glorious history, or the fact that many dead ladies have loved the ring too!

Just wanted to throw my (unpopular) opinion in!



***********************************
Nothing is worth more than this day.

-Goethe

Posted:  4/22/2006 1:28:59 PM
P: 4/22/2006 2:27:17 PM
blodthecat
blodthecat

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This is Pricescope.....we'd trade UP of course!

Posted:  4/22/2006 2:27:17 PM
P: 4/22/2006 2:34:07 PM
Lorelei
Lorelei

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Definitely trade it.









Nothing is more sacred as the bond between horse and rider...no other creature can ever become so emotionally close to a human as a horse. When a horse dies, the memory lives on because an enormous part of his owner's heart, soul, very existence dies also...but that can never be laid to rest, it is not meant to be...
- Stephanie M Thorn

Posted:  4/22/2006 2:34:07 PM
P: 4/22/2006 4:21:45 PM
Small
Small

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Trade it up or in at least!  My husband had been engaged prior to me and he traded in the ring.  He laughs and says if he'd never showed it to me he could have just reset it and given it to me.  I laugh and say that's not funny and if I would have found out I would have been mad.  I guess since you've been upfront about it it's a bit different situation but I think for me it was just about having something he chose just for ME!  Good luck!

Posted:  4/22/2006 4:21:45 PM
P: 4/23/2006 8:19:23 AM
perry
perry

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Just how difficult are your financial issues:  If you are truely broke - and your S.O. knows that - but wants to marry you anyway - and is willing to accept a good diamond you have that won't put you into more debt.  If she also limits herself on what she spends becasue of financial issues.  Then it is probably OK to reuse the stone with her blessing.

On the other hand - if you can afford to do something....  I suggest you do something.

Here's the real test (that I recently went through):  'D' is concerned about my finanaces and is horrified by debt.  I've been paying off about $45,000 in credit card debt over the last 4.5 years (and have about $8000 left to pay off).  She clearly does not want me to spend many multiple thousands of dollars on an e-ring and go further in debt.  She has actually told me that she could accept just collored glass for a ring....   So last week we were in the same city for a few hours (she lives 6 hours away) and we crused through a few jewelry stores and some jewerly counters - and I said what about this one... from a collection of $15 - $20 rings....  She litterally froze and then said no.  Later I got her to admit that she wanted a nice ring - one that did not look cheap, and not just any ring with the right color and size of a center(stone).


If your S.O is so concerned with your finances (and eventually her finances) that she would be willing to happily accept a junk jewery ring - go ahead and reuse the diamond.  If she wants a nice ring (it may be small - but nice) and you can manage it - get another diamond.

Perry

Posted:  4/23/2006 8:19:23 AM
P: 4/24/2006 8:59:36 PM
ladykemma
ladykemma

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In my opinion, it's 20 years -- i think the cooties should be off it by now. pop the stone from the setting and take your lady to get a setting together, if she's ok with it. jared's has nice settings.

Posted:  4/24/2006 8:59:36 PM

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