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 » Proposal Ideas
»  » have a simple proposal at home?
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| Pages: 1 of 2: [1] 2 > |
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have a simple proposal at home? |
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| P: 2/26/2006 8:45:55 AM | |
ladykemma Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,194 Last Post: 6/16/2007 Member Since: 1/2/2006 |
I am going to be a troll today. I have been reading cinderella's and others posts and wondered where this trend for big expensive unnecessary proposals has come from. TV? Magazines? One poster's BF thinks he cannot get married until all his financial duckies are in a row, (which will never happen). Well, if just the proposal is 5 grand, what gives? My question is: When and why did the marriage proposal turn into a major trip or financial investment? My husband proposed to me sitting on the couch. Then we went out ring shopping. I don't get it... please explain. |
| Posted: 2/26/2006 8:45:55 AM | |
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There are 34 replies to this message. There are 30 replies on this page. |
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| P: 2/26/2006 11:38:36 AM | |
midgirl Cut Rock Total Posts: 111 Last Post: 5/13/2006 Member Since: 2/20/2006 |
I am not sure why people spend thousands on the proposal. It is a once in a lifetime (hopefully) thing. My ideal proposal would be free. At home or after making dinner together, after a walk, a homemade craft card. Perhaps some people with lots of money like to make it a whole event. That way the girl can tell the story to everyone and get ooooos and ahhhhhs. the "how did he do it" question is really an important part of the engagement process-at least it seems that way. Maybe if they come from wealthier families, it is expected that the proposal be as big an event as the ring purchase. I think i just makes for good memories (for some people a good memory is a big proposal) and good stories. my .02
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| Posted: 2/26/2006 11:38:36 AM | |
| P: 2/26/2006 12:44:08 PM | |
IndieJones Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,216 Last Post: 4/27/2009 Member Since: 12/1/2005 |
I don't see why it has to cost much money, but I would like to see some evidence of planning. Mine is not a planner, but I'd like to know he's capable of it when it's important. But the main reason that I'd like him to do something special outside of the home, is because I may not believe him otherwise. He already has asked me to marry him ... but he wants to do it 'right' before it's official. (And the man doesn't understand why I've gotten impatient 8 freaking months later!) *deep breath* Sorry. Of course a ring would go a long way to convince me.  Basically it's about putting effort and planning into it, not money. Money just makes things easier sometimes. But I'm the sort of person who would prefer a $2k ring that mf bf put a lot of effort and time into to getting something beautiful that fit the budget, than a $20k ring he just walked into Tiffany's and bought in half an hour. BTW, what is a Troll? ************************ |
| Posted: 2/26/2006 12:44:08 PM | |
| P: 2/26/2006 1:48:00 PM | |
Siamese Kitty Ideal Rock Total Posts: 523 Last Post: 8/11/2009 Member Since: 2/4/2006 |
Ok... I'll comment on this one (and I might add I'm not expecting a proposal ANYTIME soon!) I certainly can respect those who want to have a great story to tell others or those who want to "make a memory". My bro was one of those who flew us all down to a destination for a horribly rushed weekend in order to surprise his fiancee once he proposed. It was beautiful and emotional and all of the above, but I almost wonder if it would have been worth it to me. (I really can't speak for them.) BTW-guys out there-if you want to propose on a boat, make sure she doesn't have motion sickness issues!!! My bro dated this girl 2 1/2 years and didn't know! Anyway, I think for me, I would rather my proposal be somewhere sentimental (and put that extra cash in the ring  -hehe). What I mean, is somewhere that was special to us both for some significant reason (be it a park, restaurant, dorm!, etc.), not just a busy tourist trap. But I'm a little old-fashioned and an admitted sap.One of the sweetest proposals I've ever heard was a girl in my dept who got engaged to a guy she had met when she was really young. He first saw her in a ballet recital (he was there for a family member), but they didn't date until years later. He took her back to that theater and proposed to her in the exact place they first said "hello". I get chills when I think about it! Not to knock anyone's choice of proposal!!! Everyone is different. As long as the sentiment is genuine, it can't be wrong.
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| Posted: 2/26/2006 1:48:00 PM | |
| P: 2/27/2006 4:12:57 AM | |
MiniMouse Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,013 Last Post: 11/5/2007 Member Since: 12/1/2004 |
Date: 2/26/2006 1:48:00 PM Author: Siamese Kitty Not to knock anyone's choice of proposal!!! Everyone is different. As long as the sentiment is genuine, it can't be wrong. Siamese Kitty, good comment. I agree, everyone is different and choose different ways to propose and that's fine. I actually expected a proposal over dinner out during our Mexico vacation last July, but instead my boyfriend decided to propose whilst we were sitting in our hire car in Mexico with two bottles of Corona, toasting the land we had bought a few months earlier. That land is our future villa, so it was a lovely place to propose and it only cost the price of two bottles of Corona. It was a great day.
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| Posted: 2/27/2006 4:12:57 AM | |
| P: 2/27/2006 4:48:30 AM | |
sunkist Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,720 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 11/15/2005 |
If you've got money to spend and it's burning a hole in your pocket, they hey go for the big proposal! Personally I don't have money to burn, and I can't wait for the simple proposal from my BF. I guess I don't know for sure what he's going to do (!) but I know he doesn't have money to burn either  I would love a proposal while taking a walk on the beach or one of our favorite spots
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| Posted: 2/27/2006 4:48:30 AM | |
| P: 2/27/2006 10:52:15 AM | |
blodthecat Ideal Rock Total Posts: 788 Last Post: 7/30/2006 Member Since: 10/17/2005 |
I don't think there is a right or wrong! Whatever sails your boat ! 
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| Posted: 2/27/2006 10:52:15 AM | |
| P: 2/27/2006 12:03:58 PM | |
Cailet Cut Rock Total Posts: 419 Last Post: 4/16/2007 Member Since: 11/16/2005 |
I agree with Wren - I would like my BF to show some time spent in planning a proposal - but I don't need that to also mean money spent (except on the ring! Heck - sitting on our couch sipping our favorite bottle of $9 wine sounds DIVINE! I think now that there are all these wedding shows, proposal shows, etc -- that everyone can get a bit carried away and think that spending all that money on the proposal is the only way to show the girl you love her for real? I think there is also a big difference between spending a lot of money because the one place that would mean SOOO much to the two of you costs a lot to get to or whatever and spending a lot of money to go to some vacation spot, eat in the fanciest restaurant, get the most expensive bottle of wine and have a billion flowers set out around the band that you hired to play a song while you proposed. And heck if you've got the money and you think your gal would really dig that type of proposal - great! I guess I would just personally feel guilty that so much money was spent!
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| Posted: 2/27/2006 12:03:58 PM | |
| P: 2/27/2006 1:18:54 PM | |
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IndieJones Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,216 Last Post: 4/27/2009 Member Since: 12/1/2005 |
Date: 2/27/2006 12:03:58 PM Author: Cailet I think now that there are all these wedding shows, proposal shows, etc -- that everyone can get a bit carried away and think that spending all that money on the proposal is the only way to show the girl you love her for real? I'm sorry, WHAT??  Proposal shows? Your pulling our legs, right? Ok, this really has got out of hand. And let's face it, just getting a ring made is a feat of planning. ************************ |
| Posted: 2/27/2006 1:18:54 PM | |
| P: 2/28/2006 1:36:35 PM | |
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Cailet Cut Rock Total Posts: 419 Last Post: 4/16/2007 Member Since: 11/16/2005 |
yeah - somebody was talking about some show where the guy plans this whole huge "surprise" thing for the proposal. You see the guy's planning and then the footage of the actual proposal. Kind of like "A wedding story" but just for the proposal part? I myself haven't ever seen it - but I have seen the ads for at least 2 different shows that were about proposing. Of COURSE mostly on Lifetime or WE - but still out there. Not to mention all the commercials, movies and tv shows where characters propose - it is VERY rarely something simple.
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| Posted: 2/28/2006 1:36:35 PM | |
| P: 3/1/2006 12:08:18 AM | |
cpster Cut Rock Total Posts: 489 Last Post: 8/18/2008 Member Since: 5/1/2005 |
For me, I don't think it's necessary to spend a ton of money. It's all about feeling like there was some thought and planning for what would happen and what was said. Everyone is different though.
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| Posted: 3/1/2006 12:08:18 AM | |
| P: 3/1/2006 3:21:35 AM | |
pebbles Ideal Rock Total Posts: 953 Last Post: 6/9/2006 Member Since: 10/8/2005 |
I only know of a couple of guys that spent a lot of money planning a big eloborate proposal. The funny thing was that the girls knew it was coming so it wasn't a complete surprise. I think some guys think you have to spend a lot to make it really memorable. I agree that everyone does ask "how did he do it" right after they look at your ring. My husband proposed when we were sitting in his car getting ready to go out to dinner. Cost = $0
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| Posted: 3/1/2006 3:21:35 AM | |
| P: 3/1/2006 11:11:05 AM | |
Blenheim Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,477 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 2/27/2006 |
I'd be fine with a pretty low-key proposal, but I know that my BF feels like he has to do it the "right way" because he wants for me to have a good story. It seems like the first things that people say when hearing that you're engaged involve asking to see the ring or asking how he proposed. He's also mentioned that some people think that a more elaborate proposal shows that the guy really cares and thought it through, while something more along the lines of an at-home proposal don't show that. Uhh....  But I know that his idea of a great proposal doesn't involve flying off to Europe, or anything terribly extravagent. We live in a valley, and I have a feeling that he might drive me to the top of one of the nearby mountains and propose at sunset, or something those lines. Pretty, out of the ordinary, memorable, not expensive. As for proposal shows -- I am going to ashamedly admit that I've actually watched at least one. I think it was on TLC. The guy had a billboard made with their pictures and "Will you marry me" on it. They then had her drive over to meet him near the billboard, before they unveiled it. (At least they didn't leave it for her to see it while innocently driving down the road, then crash in excitement.)
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| Posted: 3/1/2006 11:11:05 AM | |
| P: 3/1/2006 12:38:03 PM | |
anchor31 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 6,362 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 10/18/2005 |
I believe a proposal can be romantic and memorable without being expensive. Home-made dinner and a walk in the park or on the beach at sunset, that would be wonderful.
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| Posted: 3/1/2006 12:38:03 PM | |
| P: 3/1/2006 12:54:37 PM | |
albicocca Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,152 Last Post: 3/3/2008 Member Since: 10/11/2005 |
My fiance proposed to me by taking a romantic walk through the snow up to the house (which was closed for the winter) where we're going to get married. Beautiful view, fun hike, sentimental value.....$0. I too have seen some of the proposal shows! They are very very silly. I generally feel the proposals in them are more trouble than they're worth.... I mean, those crazy romantic extravagant ones in movies are nice and all, but if my fiance had done something like that, I feel like I might have just been wondering why he thought he had to do so much in order to get me to say yes...and that it wouldn't be personal enough for OUR relationship as opposed to generically romantic. But if the money were spent going somewhere that meant something to us, then I would totally not turn that down.  Hehe not that I would turn down a room full of roses or anything like that either! There is definitely something to be said for all that extravagance, but I agree that it is in no way REQUIRED in order to have a perfect romantic moment between the two of you, which is what a proposal should really be about in the end.
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| Posted: 3/1/2006 12:54:37 PM | |
| P: 3/1/2006 1:10:16 PM | |
Caribou Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,226 Last Post: 4/26/2006 Member Since: 10/19/2005 |
My FI proposed while we were walking in a park. Total price spent (not including the ring) $0. I don't think there is a right or wrong way to propose. It still makes my stomach do flips (in a good way) when I think about the night he proposed. That too me is the best type of proposal.
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| Posted: 3/1/2006 1:10:16 PM | |
| P: 3/1/2006 1:47:14 PM | |
esguy27 Cut Rock Total Posts: 143 Last Post: 1/17/2007 Member Since: 10/18/2005 |
The way I see it, this will be a once in a lifetime experience for me and my girlfriend. There's definitely nothing wrong with proposing at home or other simple ways, everyone is different. But for me, I want to be more of a "fantasy" experience for us. Doing it at home just doesn't fit that description for me.
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| Posted: 3/1/2006 1:47:14 PM | |
| P: 3/1/2006 5:16:03 PM | |
pad3006 Cut Rock Total Posts: 200 Last Post: 12/8/2006 Member Since: 9/23/2003 |
Hi everyone; I wanted to give a guys perspective on this subject. The way I see it is yeah its the planning of it that is fun, so its not so much the money spend so much but its the fun of planning it. Then of course its also very fun to see the significant others reactions to the events planned. That goes for any well thought out date or event. The proposal is one event where you pull out all the stops so to speak, because hopefully it is the one and only proposal you are going to do, so why not do it right. That is my take on it. The woman I am with now has told me how shed like to be proposed to, so in my mind, I will take that idea and "make it my own" by adding my own personal twist on it so it isnt boring. Because after all, it is the guys moment to show is romantic and imaginative side, it is something that the two people involved will cherish forever hopefully. Esp b/c most of the time the woman makes the choices in the wedding, so the proposal is the way the guy can show off so to speak and also create a lasting memory. It also is great way to show a woman that she is truely special. That is just my take on it, Ive been told im romantic so maybe not every guy may feel that way but I cant imagine that any guy doesnt at least in some way feel like that. Take care everyone Phil
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| Posted: 3/1/2006 5:16:03 PM | |
| P: 3/2/2006 8:48:09 AM | |
allycat0303 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,928 Last Post: 11/15/2009 Member Since: 11/19/2004 |
I think it depends on whatever makes the couple happy, or their definition of romantic. My boy proposed on a beautiful day with a treasure hunt/home cooked picnic. It was beautiful and I loved it, probably didn't cost him that much. Although I'm sure that if I was a Venice in a gondola type, he would have done that too. I think it's this big grand gesture that men make once in a lifetime, and some feel they need to go out their way to be super romantic (for some ladies it's a surprise trip to Paris, for others it's over a quiet dinner at home), either way is fine . Maybe so they can have a story for their kids 
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| Posted: 3/2/2006 8:48:09 AM | |
| P: 3/3/2006 12:56:31 PM | |
*~*Danielle*~* Ideal Rock Total Posts: 558 Last Post: 10/21/2009 Member Since: 6/24/2005 |
Two days before my fiancee proposed, we were talking about marriage & I blurted out about how I didn't want a big proposal and I would know what was going on & that if he wasn't going to include me in the process at all, that I'd like to be surprised. (Little did I know that he already had the ring & was just waiting to speak to my parents). He proposed over brownies & champagne in bed. It was perfect & I was happy that there wasn't a big hooplah (I think I would end up being as nervous as he was!) Proposals are so personal to the couple & some people may want a big expensive proposals, where as others want something private & inexpensive. BTW, this morning I was listening to Z100 & they are broadcasting from St. Lucia. Some guy proposed to his gf & it was so sweet! He gave her a ring pop & then had her real ring behind it. I'm sure it was some sort of inside joke ("I don't care, I'll take anything, a ring pop would work & I would still say yes!"), but they all freaked when they saw the real ring. I wish it was T.V. instead of radio so I could see some bling!
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| Posted: 3/3/2006 12:56:31 PM | |
| P: 3/3/2006 5:13:15 PM | |
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tabsny Cut Rock Total Posts: 131 Last Post: 4/28/2006 Member Since: 10/1/2005 |
I guess it depends on what kind of person you are; some people want and need the whole fantasy, over-the-top memory. Personally, I specifically asked my bf (now fiancee) to do something at home, around what's important to me: my cats and family. I thought it was perfect, because for me it's about that moment between two people. Just my 2 cents. It was a free, intimate, wonderful proposal. (But he did take me out to a very nice dinner beforehand...  )
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| Posted: 3/3/2006 5:13:15 PM | |
| P: 3/3/2006 10:51:44 PM | |
prv Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,231 Last Post: 10/24/2006 Member Since: 10/6/2005 |
I have to agree with the general consensus here. I had the 'big proposal' done by my fiance and it wasn't what I wanted at all. I knew it was coming because of the fancy dinner and everything else. Honestly, my ideal proposal was nothing big I really wanted him to turn an ordinary 'us' moment into something special. Of course, I told him all this but he had other ideas...
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| Posted: 3/3/2006 10:51:44 PM | |
| P: 3/7/2006 7:47:32 PM | |
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argh&stuff Cut Rock Total Posts: 405 Last Post: 11/20/2007 Member Since: 2/24/2006 |
I remember the first time my girl came to my house, I made her dinner. She was so impressed, and really liked that I insisted that she not do a thing to help me (even though the kitchen was a terror to clean later). I've been thinking of asking her during my spring break from teaching, which is in mid April, but if that flops, maybe we'll do the whole catering to her thing and I'll make dinner, and take her to her favorite spot. The thing is, I think that once I have the ring, I won't be able to really hold back and contrive up this really nice, well thought out thing. I'm not spontaneous by nature, but I do know that I can't wait to ask and if I had the ring now, I'd be all over it.. At any rate, she's told me before that the big "hooplah" is cute for some people, but that it's not her style, and that she wants to remember the day as a time we were both relaxed and happy, not cramped up in shoes that hurt and ties that choke. I love that lady! I'm all for not messing with such unless it's Sunday...
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| Posted: 3/7/2006 7:47:32 PM | |
| P: 5/26/2006 12:40:41 AM | |
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Harlequins Mask Rough Rock Total Posts: 1 Last Post: 5/26/2006 Member Since: 1/17/2006 |
To tell the truth, I am so happy to hear people echo what I have been wondering for quite some time. My GF and I live in Las Vegas. Anytime I tell someone that she and I are getting married, suddenly everyone thinks of Cleopatra's Barge or (heaven forbid) Elvis! We've lived here long enough to know just how expensive it is to do anything on or near the Strip. As this is the marriage capital of the universe, I have been trying to figure out the engagement situation. Just like some others in this thread, once the ring is purchased, there goes some plans. I had an idea, but I managed to get a deal on a ring two months earlier than I had planned. The original plan: proposal whilst on vacation in Seattle (I was born and raised) and pop the question in the Arboretum (35 acres of some of the most beautiful flowers and plants anywhere). Now I'm sitting on a ring and the desire just ask tonight!!! What my GF told me, because I told her I wanted to do it right... ask her anytime and anywhere. She will react appropriately (crying and shaking). There doesn't have to be the gobs and gobs of money. She also added an addendum shortly thereafter: after winning the lottery, a proposal that costs money wouldn't be such a bad thing, though. "Those who tell the stories rule society." |
| Posted: 5/26/2006 12:40:41 AM | |
| P: 5/26/2006 10:16:43 AM | |
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heart prongs Cut Rock Total Posts: 374 Last Post: 12/16/2006 Member Since: 1/27/2004 |
I don't think that a proposal has to be over the top to be "special" or "right". On Sept. 13, 2003, my now husband took me out on our roof deck that overlooks the Atlantic Ocean with our beloved dog (who is no longer with us ), got down on his knee, said some incredibly romantic things, presented me with my gorgeous ring, and asked me to marry him! It was, by far, the most romantic moment of my life to that point!!! We chose as our wedding song "Up on the Roof" by The Drifters...and it will always remind both of us of that day that we decided to spend our lives together. I found out later that he had planned to take me somewhere the next day and ask me...but he was just so excited that he could not wait that long...wanting something that badly is pretty romantic to me!!!klr prongs
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| Posted: 5/26/2006 10:16:43 AM | |
| P: 5/26/2006 3:50:15 PM | |
TierHog Ideal Rock Total Posts: 797 Last Post: 4/14/2009 Member Since: 1/16/2006 |
i just logged back on to see this 'have a simple proposal at home?' thread. how ironic....because...yesterday, after finally receiving my girl's engagement ring (long story behind this ring), i was sooo thrilled that i had to present it to her.....yesterday evening....in our backyard! she was completely caught way off guard...i thought i was gonna pass out.....it was unbelievable. just thought i'd share.....thanks for the thread... sincerely, ron.
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| Posted: 5/26/2006 3:50:15 PM | |
| P: 5/26/2006 3:58:38 PM | |
Galateia Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,218 Last Post: 8/17/2009 Member Since: 5/9/2006 |
As for me, I'd be happy to get engaged in a house, with a mouse, on a chair, on a stair, with a fox, in a box, I would have it here or there, I would have it anywhere!
Legally cohabitated |
| Posted: 5/26/2006 3:58:38 PM | |
| P: 5/27/2006 1:44:11 AM | |
novia Cut Rock Total Posts: 391 Last Post: 6/23/2009 Member Since: 4/9/2006 |
this is obviously such a personal decision. my fiance and i have simple, very loving relationship. we do like to travel as much as we can, but when we're home we like to stay in and spend time together. my fiance's proposal was very simple. we were drinking a glass of wine, sitting in front of the fireplace where we first kissed when he asked me to marry him. does it make for a great story? probably not. but it was very US and for me it was perfect!
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| Posted: 5/27/2006 1:44:11 AM | |
| P: 5/27/2006 2:11:35 AM | |
GirlyGirl Rough Rock Total Posts: 22 Last Post: 12/5/2006 Member Since: 5/26/2006 |
I think that it is all a matter of preference. But there should definately be some thought in the process!! My favorite movie proposal was in "Step-mom" has anyone else seen that?? It was the cutest thing, the guy woke up his soon to be fiance, tied some string around her finger, gave the CUTEST speech that went along with the string, and then slid the ring from the string and onto the finger!! lol. It is a little hard to explain, but it was so cute!! Not costly at all, I think he splurged and paid $1 for the string!! Now, who could you say no to that!!
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| Posted: 5/27/2006 2:11:35 AM | |
| P: 5/27/2006 2:13:33 AM | |
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GirlyGirl Rough Rock Total Posts: 22 Last Post: 12/5/2006 Member Since: 5/26/2006 |
And Novia that makes for a wonderful story!! I think its so adorable, and very romantic!!
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| Posted: 5/27/2006 2:13:33 AM | |
| P: 5/27/2006 5:09:43 PM | |
niceguymr Rough Rock Total Posts: 72 Last Post: 5/7/2009 Member Since: 4/20/2006 |
My GF and I planned a trip to Jamaica for next week about 6 months ago. I decided I wanted to propose to her on this trip about 2 months ago. One would think that I spent a lot of money for this proposal, but we were already going to take the trip regardless. It's just an added bonus that we'll be getting engaged while we're away.
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| Posted: 5/27/2006 5:09:43 PM | |
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