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Questions, Comments, Thoughts...Help!

P: 10/19/2005 12:21:04 AM
Matatora Ideal Rock Total Posts: 8,230 Last Post: 7/26/2006 Member Since: 3/6/2005	My SO has always been the more subtle of the two of us. Granted that is not saying much. Still I just about floored by something V said the last night I was home. He said that he has already chosen the date he will be proposing. I was grinning at him like a bubble head until he told me that every time I mention anything related he is going to push it back a day. It doesn’t matter if someone I know gets engaged, he doesn’t not want any mentions of anything shiny or anything related to that. It was a little odd for him to just throw that out there, since we were talking about something entirely unrelated. This is not the exciting part. He said that if he had been planning to propose the first day of Christmas break and I said something related to pretty shinys four times then he would not be proposing until the fifth day of break. Does that sound like he is going to propose over the Christmas holidays? Or am I reading too much into an example that he was just tossing out there. -Matatora Courage is the price that life extracts for granting peace Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.
Posted: 10/19/2005 12:21:04 AM

There are 88 replies to this message. There are 30 replies on this page.

P: 10/19/2005 1:06:47 AM
goldengirl Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,132 Last Post: 5/30/2007 Member Since: 8/20/2004	Mata, here are my thoughts: First, you're reading too much into it. I doubt he will propose on Christmas break BECAUSE he mentioned it, and you've said he's normally very subtle. Second, I wouldn't be surprised if he proposed BEFORE Christmas break... it would be very male of him to give you an expectation and then do it before you're expecting it. "...Why don't they just come right out and say it? 'Diamonds...that'll shut her up!' "
Posted: 10/19/2005 1:06:47 AM

P: 10/19/2005 3:02:01 AM
Matatora Ideal Rock Total Posts: 8,230 Last Post: 7/26/2006 Member Since: 3/6/2005	Oh before I had not even thought of that! GG you are brilliant. I am not a holiday person, my mother calls me the Grinch. However the first time I attended Mass was on Christmas Eve with V. He loves all this stuff and I know he is trying to alter my perceptions of this stuff. I am getting all crazy about this stuff. I think now that I only want a half enternity for my e-ring, Ame was such an angel and really went through all the pros and cons with me. While I love the look of the full eternity I would never really see it, but I might permantly damage the ring by whacking it against things, or maybe a solitaire would be best. I need to find more text books. Perhaps my reasearch can be on LIW syndrome. -Matatora Courage is the price that life extracts for granting peace Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.
Posted: 10/19/2005 3:02:01 AM

P: 10/19/2005 9:55:34 AM
ame Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,452 Last Post: 2/7/2006 Member Since: 7/7/2004	Wow! I feel so helpful! I am glad I was able to help you make the decision. I feel more comfortable (not that it says much...) that I can't whack it as bad as I could before when it was full. I hope GG is right. I can't wait to see this masterpiece.
Posted: 10/19/2005 9:55:34 AM

P: 10/19/2005 11:09:14 AM
teagreen Cut Rock Total Posts: 281 Last Post: 11/16/2006 Member Since: 3/28/2005	Sounds promising, but I wouldn't get my hopes up, to avoid getting disappointed, and to keep it a surprise! I thought my bf was going to do it "soon" and it turns out after more probing ( which I'm finished with, btw ), his timeline is before next June. (great...)
Posted: 10/19/2005 11:09:14 AM

P: 10/19/2005 11:25:24 AM
kalispera Ideal Rock Total Posts: 735 Last Post: 7/16/2007 Member Since: 3/23/2005	I agree with Teagreen, don't expect anything. I thought I would get engaged in August when we went to New York. That is where I always wanted to get engaged, he knew that, he told me that was why we were going.. no such luck.. anyways, he mentioned something in June or July about whether or not I thought he should save up money for a few more months than expected to get the "ring of my dreams". I said yes, and I guess that's where I should have gotten my hint that it wouldn't happen soon. I didn't even remember that when we went to NYC and I was completely let down. My advice is to enjoy the time now, look for hints that he may be proposing/thinking about proposing but also don't NEGLECT the hints that maybe it will be a while.. just my opinion _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Posted: 10/19/2005 11:25:24 AM

P: 10/19/2005 11:28:44 AM
kalispera Ideal Rock Total Posts: 735 Last Post: 7/16/2007 Member Since: 3/23/2005	Oh yeah, I forgot to mention.. the new timeline is sometime before August or September of 2006. lots of time to wait... tick... tock... tick... tock... _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Posted: 10/19/2005 11:28:44 AM

P: 10/19/2005 2:13:01 PM
Caribou Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,226 Last Post: 4/26/2006 Member Since: 10/19/2005	Guys really have no clue what they do to us. My SO and I have have been ring shopping, he even told me that he had an idea of when we would get married. We finally put together what we both like in an e-ring (solitare with a little bling, delicate much like my avatar, matching wedding band). The first few times we went shopping it was for my enjoyment, the send time (a couple months later) he brought it up saying that he had gone to a jewler and wanted to see what I thought of a couple rings. So then for the longest time I felt like an over excited puppy who was going on a walk....jumping up and down 'whens it going to happen....whens it going to happen....' So I told him I didn't want to be envolved in the ring process anymore...he knew what I wanted the rest is up to him. Which of course I regret because now I'm like a impatient woman waiting for an engagement ring...taping her fingers thinking 'helllllllo ask already' It's like holding a bone in front of a dogs face and taking it away.
Posted: 10/19/2005 2:13:01 PM

P: 10/19/2005 2:44:54 PM
caligal Cut Rock Total Posts: 470 Last Post: 3/14/2007 Member Since: 6/16/2005	Oh is he trying to drive you crazy! Hmmm, he has the date all picked out huh? Well- he obviously is baiting you ready to hear a million times- references to rings.... I say keep posting here and not a word to him! He's throwing you off with Christmas, and you can keep on guessing, but he wants it to be a surprise. Beware of sudden plans for a weekend away or vacations, that is the best I can tell ya! How exciting that he has the date planned though- YAY!!! We expect a full report when he does...
Posted: 10/19/2005 2:44:54 PM

P: 10/19/2005 2:45:44 PM
Matatora Ideal Rock Total Posts: 8,230 Last Post: 7/26/2006 Member Since: 3/6/2005	Date: 10/19/2005 11:25:24 AM Author: kalispera My advice is to enjoy the time now, look for hints that he may be proposing/thinking about proposing but also don't NEGLECT the hints that maybe it will be a while.. just my opinion That is great advice, I know in my heart I ought not get too excited. It is silly of me. I see all the little signs, he is taking his lunch to work, sent me an e-mail about a week before I came home about if the full eternity band would be comfy, said something about what size ring I wear (he has only bought me about 12 or so) and so on and so forth. But while I was home he did not say anything about rings. He did not mention anything related to getting engaged at all. My best friend started to say something and he cut her off and that night he drove her home from my house... Honestly I have no clue when it is going to happen, or what the ring is going to look like. I wish I knew more. Ame- I want to tell him half only soo badly but I dont want to bring it up, what if he already has it? -Matatora Courage is the price that life extracts for granting peace Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.
Posted: 10/19/2005 2:45:44 PM

P: 10/19/2005 3:43:42 PM
Angel7 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,997 Last Post: 8/7/2008 Member Since: 1/18/2005	He could totally be trying to throw you off course. Who knows. Maybe it'll be sooner than later and he's saying stuff like that so you totally wouldn't expect it anytime soon! Just a thought! ____________________________________________________________________________________ "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one"
Posted: 10/19/2005 3:43:42 PM

P: 10/19/2005 3:52:41 PM
ame Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,452 Last Post: 2/7/2006 Member Since: 7/7/2004	Risk a day's worth of waiting and ask him. Because if he proposed and you decided you didn't like it, you'd be up sh!t creek.
Posted: 10/19/2005 3:52:41 PM

P: 10/19/2005 4:06:24 PM
Evie75 Cut Rock Total Posts: 150 Last Post: 8/25/2006 Member Since: 11/9/2004	Yeah thats why i dont ask questions anymore... im tired of getting the i dont know shoulder shrug,,, or a raised eyebrow for answers...... so F it........i have the patiencs of a saint.......thats why i keep telling myself Dont need anyone else to make me feel alive... you electrify me
Posted: 10/19/2005 4:06:24 PM

P: 10/19/2005 4:56:09 PM
Matatora Ideal Rock Total Posts: 8,230 Last Post: 7/26/2006 Member Since: 3/6/2005	We were talking on AIM....changed his name to keep him from shooting me. Matatora: arg Matatora: I am losing a day Matatora: I have to HIM: ? Matatora: http://www.thefacetscollection.com/item.cfm?item_id=2359 HIM: i love you Matatora: I love you too HIM: brb HIM is away at 3:26:08 PM. HIM returned at 3:30:11 PM. HIM: moo Matatora: Moo to you HIM: kisses to my cutie Matatora: did nyou look at it HIM: yes HIM: and printed Matatora: printed? HIM: for my files Matatora: You have files? HIM: yep Matatora: plural? HIM: yup] Matatora: spill HIM: nope Matatora: why do you need multiple files? HIM: lets just say i am well organized Matatora: how many girls are you planning on asking there buddy boy HIM: one HIM: but i want the decision on the ring to be perfect Then the subject changed... -Matatora Courage is the price that life extracts for granting peace Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.
Posted: 10/19/2005 4:56:09 PM

P: 10/19/2005 5:38:50 PM
kalispera Ideal Rock Total Posts: 735 Last Post: 7/16/2007 Member Since: 3/23/2005	OH MY GOSH!! I would be going crazy after that conversation!! Multiple files??? Wow, he must have a ton of stuff on your upcoming e-ring!! And I totally thought about you today when my boyfriend and I talked. He had this scenario of a proposal: Christmas Eve, around the tree, e-ring in a small box wrapped in multiple larger boxes, proposal in front of my family. He wanted to know if I would want my parents/sister there because up until now I have always said I wanted it to be private. I told him that the idea was nice... Even though he repeatedly said "don't expect this, this isn't what I'm going to do" I can't help but wonder... could it be around Christmas time??? I'm driving myself crazy . How should I let it go? I don't want to be let down!! Matatora, Please keep us posted on any new developments. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Posted: 10/19/2005 5:38:50 PM

P: 10/19/2005 8:23:22 PM
anchor31 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 6,362 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 10/18/2005	Well, I'm going to say exactly what ame told me in the thread I started. Never expect it. Reading on this forum has helped me realise waiting for an engagement is truly a magical moment, not a moment in which you should drive yourself (and your SO) crazy and possibly put a strain on the relationship because of it. So I'm just going to sit back, dream a little and enjoy the ride. Yeah, yeah, easier said then done. I know. But we're all here to support each other. Do vent if you need to! Cheers! ******** R & J 08-02-08 Expecting baby on 12-30-09
Posted: 10/19/2005 8:23:22 PM

P: 10/19/2005 8:36:13 PM
kalispera Ideal Rock Total Posts: 735 Last Post: 7/16/2007 Member Since: 3/23/2005	I agree, expecting a proposal is just setting yourself up for disappointment.. it's so hard though when you want to start your life together!! This is why I vent here, not my boyfriend.. he would think I was CrAzY!!! _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Posted: 10/19/2005 8:36:13 PM

P: 10/19/2005 8:44:52 PM
Matatora Ideal Rock Total Posts: 8,230 Last Post: 7/26/2006 Member Since: 3/6/2005	Date: 10/19/2005 5:38:50 PM Author: kalispera OH MY GOSH!! I would be going crazy after that conversation!! Multiple files??? Wow, he must have a ton of stuff on your upcoming e-ring!! And I totally thought about you today when my boyfriend and I talked. He had this scenario of a proposal: Christmas Eve, around the tree, e-ring in a small box wrapped in multiple larger boxes, proposal in front of my family. He wanted to know if I would want my parents/sister there because up until now I have always said I wanted it to be private. I told him that the idea was nice... Even though he repeatedly said 'don't expect this, this isn't what I'm going to do' I can't help but wonder... could it be around Christmas time??? I'm driving myself crazy . How should I let it go? I don't want to be let down!! Matatora, Please keep us posted on any new developments. That is exactly how he wrapped a necklace he gave me last year for Christmas...there must have been eight boxes. I nearly decked him when I saw what is was...though it is a very lovely necklace. Honestly my dream proposal would involve either a charm bracelet or us playing a board game. But then I am cheesy. -Matatora Courage is the price that life extracts for granting peace Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.
Posted: 10/19/2005 8:44:52 PM

P: 10/19/2005 9:00:10 PM
anchor31 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 6,362 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 10/18/2005	"it's so hard though when you want to start your life together!!" Amen to that! Mata, my BF gave me gold earrings for my birthday last May, and when my grandmother saw the little red velvet box, she exclaimed "What is THAT!" I had chosen the earrings myself, so I cracked up. "No, it's not an engagement ring Grandma." Bless her. ******** R & J 08-02-08 Expecting baby on 12-30-09
Posted: 10/19/2005 9:00:10 PM

P: 10/19/2005 9:28:43 PM
kalispera Ideal Rock Total Posts: 735 Last Post: 7/16/2007 Member Since: 3/23/2005	Matatora, I don't think a board game proposal is cheesy (although I am a puzzle-junkie and FORCE my boyfriend to play monopoly with me) and I would probably beat my boyfriend up if after our conversation today he decided to wrap a piece of jewelry (other than an e-ring) in 8 boxes for Christmas!! _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Posted: 10/19/2005 9:28:43 PM

P: 10/19/2005 11:01:23 PM
Blue824 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,614 Last Post: 10/28/2009 Member Since: 12/15/2004	That AIM conversation would've driven me nuts! Lol, he's lucky you're far away and can't snoop regularly! Very sweet, sounds like he's all prepared
Posted: 10/19/2005 11:01:23 PM

P: 10/19/2005 11:10:18 PM
fountainfairfax Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,180 Last Post: 7/10/2006 Member Since: 2/4/2005	Miss Matatora...you, stop talking about the pretty shineys?????? No with your love of all things diamond and e-ringy you'll be getting engaged Christmas break of 2007 While I, the lady who thought the 2 hour wait from the time her BF brought the ring home to the time he proposed was a life-time (and I wasn't sure he actually even brought it home), have no right telling you to cool it...you have a very good idea that your sweety is planning something for this year, right? Now, you've got to sit back and wait and come up with some secret code-word for diamonds and e-rings so that you can trick him into thinking you're not diamond obsessed...say so & so got a really nice "_______" but only you'll know it was really a diamond and you tricked him!!!! I have too much time on my hands.....
Posted: 10/19/2005 11:10:18 PM

P: 10/20/2005 12:10:01 AM
goldengirl Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,132 Last Post: 5/30/2007 Member Since: 8/20/2004	Date: 10/19/2005 3:52:41 PM Author: ame Risk a day's worth of waiting and ask him. Because if he proposed and you decided you didn't like it, you'd be up sh!t creek. Aaaaaahahahaha, I love it!! "...Why don't they just come right out and say it? 'Diamonds...that'll shut her up!' "
Posted: 10/20/2005 12:10:01 AM

P: 10/20/2005 12:21:14 AM
Mara Ideal Rock Total Posts: 27,922 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 10/30/2002	Girls, relish the waiting. Sure it's hard to play the waiting game day in and day out for however long your honey strings you along, but in the end you'll remember the waiting fairly fondly... I remember waiting for the ring to be done, one night we went out to dinner to our first date restaurant, I thought oh my god the ring is done and he's going to ask me tonite. I felt giddy the whole time. Well he didn't ask me and I was disappointed...but after that I realized I couldn't assume like that or even hope. It would happen when it did and I didn't want to drive myself nuts thinking EVERY dinner we went to was it. When I told him I thought maybe he was going to ask that night, he laughed and said the ring wasn't even ready yet. TORTURE. ________________________________ "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." -Albert Einstein
Posted: 10/20/2005 12:21:14 AM

P: 10/20/2005 1:27:56 AM
Jelly Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,476 Last Post: 11/22/2009 Member Since: 7/20/2005	Matatora, I'm so excited for you! You boyfriend is such a tease, it would drive me bonkers...but it's very cute at the same time! Can't wait to hear what he gets you and how he proposes!
Posted: 10/20/2005 1:27:56 AM

P: 10/20/2005 2:39:03 AM
Matatora Ideal Rock Total Posts: 8,230 Last Post: 7/26/2006 Member Since: 3/6/2005	Okay I know I should not do this but I like to do a search by cut in what I think is his general price range...I know it is sick. Anyway my baby has sold from Whiteflash. I do not know what it was about this stone in particular that struck me but I kept finding myself drawn to it. And now it is gone! I am sure that I will soon see it gracing the fingers of a some very nice pricescoper, but for some reason I am bummed. It was not even mine. -Matatora Courage is the price that life extracts for granting peace Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.
Posted: 10/20/2005 2:39:03 AM

P: 10/20/2005 8:43:27 PM
kalispera Ideal Rock Total Posts: 735 Last Post: 7/16/2007 Member Since: 3/23/2005	Maybe the reason you were drawn to it is because it is BEAUTIFUL!!! YUMMY!!! And you never know, maybe it will be gracing your finger? _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Posted: 10/20/2005 8:43:27 PM

P: 10/20/2005 10:12:13 PM
memsy Rough Rock Total Posts: 44 Last Post: 4/21/2009 Member Since: 10/21/2004	Matatora, i don't know your whole story about what you think you are getting (sounds like an eternity or half eternity band as an e-ring and not a solitaire) but.. any chance that maybe HE bought it??? not to get your hopes up or anything!? :)
Posted: 10/20/2005 10:12:13 PM

P: 10/21/2005 10:43:39 AM
Croí Cut Rock Total Posts: 378 Last Post: 10/8/2009 Member Since: 11/12/2004	too fun ! too fun ! poor Mata, I know you must be writhing from curiousity at this point - MULTIPLE files !?!?!?!?!? still, it's all great and very exciting and I think the girls have a point ........... maybe your 'baby' will be gracing your very own finger before too long ! <excitedforya> keep us posted by the minute ! C "Instead of seeing the rug being pulled from under us, we can learn to dance on a shifting carpet !"
Posted: 10/21/2005 10:43:39 AM

P: 10/21/2005 11:04:32 AM
squeaksluv Cut Rock Total Posts: 203 Last Post: 11/3/2007 Member Since: 10/5/2005	Matatora, that IM exchange was just so sweet!!!!! That's awesome he has multiple files, shows he's been planning. I'm so excited for you! I can't wait to hear how and when he finally does it, he'll probably have something really romantic and sweet planned!
Posted: 10/21/2005 11:04:32 AM

P: 10/21/2005 3:03:43 PM
Matatora Ideal Rock Total Posts: 8,230 Last Post: 7/26/2006 Member Since: 3/6/2005	Date: 10/20/2005 12:21:14 AM Author: Mara Girls, relish the waiting. Sure it's hard to play the waiting game day in and day out for however long your honey strings you along, but in the end you'll remember the waiting fairly fondly... I remember waiting for the ring to be done, one night we went out to dinner to our first date restaurant, I thought oh my god the ring is done and he's going to ask me tonite. I felt giddy the whole time. Well he didn't ask me and I was disappointed...but after that I realized I couldn't assume like that or even hope. It would happen when it did and I didn't want to drive myself nuts thinking EVERY dinner we went to was it. When I told him I thought maybe he was going to ask that night, he laughed and said the ring wasn't even ready yet. TORTURE. Honestly if he was like, you have a few years to wait. If he wanted to wait until I had my PhD. I would be fine would not think about it, I could easily let it go. I almost wish he would lie and say that. But it is just so weird, this major decision is being made without both of us being in on it. We are so good about communicating things, expectiations, feelings it is just weird to be put on hold like this. -Matatora Courage is the price that life extracts for granting peace Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.
Posted: 10/21/2005 3:03:43 PM

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