Really silly question

Garry Holloway FGAA DipDT

HCA and Ideal-scope developer

http://www.ideal-scope.com and
http://www.HollowayDiamonds.com.au

Alley,

Your diamond is fine. Your sister needs a new boyfriend.  Ignoring the fact that he obviously doesn’t understand diamonds, which is actually a forgivable failing, he clearly has no clue how to treat prospective relatives and has dreadful manners to boot.  He loves to make nasty put down comments?  This is not a harmless hobby.  This is a sign of a deeply disturbed individual.

Neil Beaty
GG(GIA) ISA NAJA
Independent Appraisals in Denver

There's never a crowd when you go that extra mile.

This is a cry for help.  Your sister needs therapy to help with her taste in men.  On behalf of white guys everywhere, I apologize for this louts behavior.

Neil Beaty
GG(GIA) ISA NAJA
Independent Appraisals in Denver

There's never a crowd when you go that extra mile.

________________________________

Michelle

AKA Stretch4

I intend to live forever... so far, so good.

============================
Blu

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin, 1759

OK, this has been pissing me off all morning.  It’s ridiculous that you should feel the need to compromise your own integrity and lie because of this guy’s poor manners. I say don’t do it.  Try to duck the question but, if he keeps on pressing, tell him that you think it’s a terribly boorish question, that you are insulted that he presumes to judge the symbol of love presented by your own fiancée and that you hope that this is not indicative of the relationship you can expect as inlaws.  Still don't answer the question. It’s nice that his mother has generously agreed to buy your sister a diamond and that she is allowing her son to help in the selection.  Perhaps she's hoping that this will finally get him out of the house.

Neil Beaty
GG(GIA) ISA NAJA
Independent Appraisals in Denver

There's never a crowd when you go that extra mile.

Ana "The greatest experts are only as good as the sum total of what they have seen." [Souren Melikian]

Ok no lying. I'd be terrified of getting caught anyhow. I figure once he gets his e-ring, and has done the usual "Mine is better then yours" He'll get over it. I swear he gets my goat. And of course, please no one take FBIL's opinions as my own. I personally think I could have gone down to J without any speck of color, and practically all sparklies are beautiful to me.

But really, FBIL is like this in every sense (sunglasses, where anyone got their education, cars, and even TOMATOES) so I don't know why I'm surprised. Sometimes though, his audacity gets to me.

Neil: Oh it drives me crazy too. From the very beginning of my boyfriend's diamond selection, the FBIL has been badgering him. FBIL said to just this morning," Well we'll know how much he loves you when I find out how much he paid for it." I nearly strangled him. My sister is a bit naive. She's also terrified of dying alone. Tell me how an absolutely beautiful, sweet, doctor-to-be ends up dying ALONE??? My parents, hate him, I hate him, but we don't want to upset my sister who has shown to be extremely emotional over any hints that she should get rid of the moron. She bound and determined to marry him, and it's just a very sad coincidence that as soon as my boyfriend looked at engagement rings, FBIL did too. I think it set up a very nasty dynamic.

Phew. I'm ok with this. FBIL comments had me doubting our choice of stones. I feel better. The stone is beautiful, the setting will be beautiful and despite his mean comments, FBIL will be green with envy and secretly wish he had such good taste (and the wonderful support of people on pricescope) to have picked such a beautifully cut diamond.

Thanks everyone

Bless your heart alley, you are doing the right thing by being honest. I agree 100% with what Neil said. Personally I would be tempted to behave is harsh manner like pretending I am deaf when he speaks...but that is somewhat like dropping down to his level.
I do not think that the amount of money spent relates to the amount of love commitment and devotion your SO has for you. Personally I find that sort of statement disgusting. I am sorry that he said something so course and callous in your presence.
Normally I would say start badgering him about cut of the stone he is buying, but I would not want your sister to get hurt.

Not to be overly judgmental but it sounds like he is still in the mind set where if he puts others down he is building himself up. I remember your other thread about this boy and his attitude seems consistently inappropriate.  Perhaps the real issue for him is that your BF behaves like an adult and takes care of the things he needs to rather then living off his parents.
I sincerely hope you sister and he BF seek counseling prior to marriage his mannerisms are concerning.

-Matatora Courage is the price that life extracts for granting peace Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.

seriously, tell your sister's boyfriend to step off. what an assclown. obviously a .75c diamond is not going to have a 7mm spread...maybe not ever in a scenario I could think of, a 1c diamond has a 6.5mm spread so even if it had a table of 75 and a depth of 40 then it still probably wouldnt have a 7mm spread with a .75c stone AND it would look like a big spready piece of poo.

there are ways to make diamonds look bigger than they are and sometimes cut does get compromised. my old stone was a 1.23c that had the spread of a 1.35 at the compromise of a shallow depth and larger table. in some lighting situations it just looked dead. my next stone was a 1.29 that had a slightly smaller diam but was cut precisely and i preferred it hands down. now as much as i love size, i won't compromise my cut again. i do look for slightly more shallow stones aka 60.5 depth and corresponding ideal table vs a 61.8 depth and corresponding ideal table because you can eke out a few more hundredths or tenths of a mm that way and why not get what you are paying for. but to me that's just smart shopping!!

i love it when people who know NOTHING about diamonds try to speak up. yesterday i was at my nail salon and the owner compllimented me on my pendant and then picked up my hand to see my rings. she ooh'd and ahh'd and mentioned how it was stunning in color, clarity and CUT (ooh don't hear that one much). i just nodded. then she goes to get her glasses, puts them on and comes back and inspects it some more. she said..if you don't mind how much did you pay. i told her ~ $8k and she goes..oh for a 1c? i said it's a 1.6. and she goes okay that makes more sense. like she thought maybe i had been taken for a ride. if only she knew!!! she's a real sweetie so i didn't say a thing. i usually don't even bother to say anything to people like this since what do I say? I'm a member of an ELITE online diamond forum (haha!!) where people come to do months and sometimes years of research before buying a stone or a ring? nahhh!! i just nod.

last year this guy who thinks he knows about jewelry asked me if my stone was a 3/4c. it was a 1.29c at the time. i said no its a quarter and a carat. he nods, i wander off into crowd. i mean come on! obviously these people and your sisters' bf have NO CLUE so if they want to go on being deluded and making nasty comments fine. you know the truth and you shouldn't even give those comments a second thought other than as a funny story to tell people on PS in the future like me.

________________________________

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

-Albert Einstein

______________________________My therapist loves me. His name is Brian the Cutter.

you should agree with him when he says that IF means it will sparkle alot. he'll end up with a tiny D IF with a horrible cut most likely for the same price as your 1.27c!

oh and by the way the stone you got should be amazing. i bet that med blue fluor sets it off in a way that a regular H SI would not have. i wouldn't tell anyone about the fluor and then whey see your diamond fluoresce you can tell them it's some sort of special perfect cut thing. LOL! 'oh you mean YOUR diamond doesn't have that?!' tsk tsk!

________________________________

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

-Albert Einstein

Now you've got me furious... perhaps this guy doesn't want to work if his family is well to do, but couldn't they spend a bit to polish the guy's very, very rough edges ?  

It would probably take some effort from your part to show consistently how all this means nothing - at least as much as I can tell from my own experience, the absence of civilized communication does hurt a bit although the subject is meaningless. This time it may be worth putting some effort to treat the respective inquisitive comments as the buzz of a pesky mosquito: a shrug & wave should do. Since the guy seems eager to provide enough opportunity for practice, after the first two-three times, the exercise of carefully engineered dismissal and disdain should come effortlessly.

As far as I understand, this guy would spend allot more than he (i.e. his parents) can effortlessly afford just to prove his 'worth'. So... forget it. It makes no sense. I just hope neither this guy, your sister, you or anyone else involved in this story keeps getting hurt for too long.
 

Ana "The greatest experts are only as good as the sum total of what they have seen." [Souren Melikian]

Ana "The greatest experts are only as good as the sum total of what they have seen." [Souren Melikian]