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»  » Proposals, Weddings and More »
 » Ladies in Waiting
»  » Change in Timeline
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Change in Timeline |
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| P: 4/21/2005 12:23:20 PM | |
jlc0604 Rough Rock Total Posts: 75 Last Post: 9/17/2005 Member Since: 11/8/2004 |
A little background: BF and I have talked about getting engaged sometime after August, when he finishes classes. I figured that by the time he finished up and got around to buying the ring, we'd be talking fall or winter. He said by the end of the year, definitely. Although I had been obsessing about this, first about the ring, then about the wedding, I have recently tried to cool off and focus my attention elsewhere, since I still have awhile to go. And it was working. Until...... Last night, my boyfriend says to me, "I have to talk you you about something". This sounds strange to me, so I ask what's up. He says, "I was thinking about buying a ring before I finish up my classes". He says he's been thinking about it, and he may be to afford it sooner than he thought, and if so then why wait? He said that he wants it and I want it, so if he has the money then there's no point putting it off. I tried to not get too excited, because a.) I don't want him to feel pressured, and b.) I don't want to get my hopes up. I told him basically that I'd love for it to be sooner, but that he shouldn't feel pressured to do it before he's ready. So it was up to him. But of course, now I can't stop thinking about it and my obsession is coming back. If he does it before classes end, that means before August, which could be anytime in the next few months. I know he's getting ready to sell his old car, and should be getting tax refund money too. So I'm guessing that's the money he's going to put towards the ring. I wish he just hadn't said anything! How am I supposed to not think about this all the time now? And worse, what if he changes his mind and decides to wait? Now that it seems like an actual reality, instead of some far off fantasy, I feel much more worked up about the whole thing. And of course, I don't want to talk to any of my friends about it since nothing has happened yet. So I'm going crazy. I need to calm down a bit. Advice? |
| Posted: 4/21/2005 12:23:20 PM | |
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There are 6 replies to this message. There are 6 replies on this page. |
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| P: 4/21/2005 12:30:14 PM | |
appletini Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,555 Last Post: 11/19/2009 Member Since: 11/29/2004 |
I'm so happy for you that it might be sooner, but good luck trying not to think about it. My advice is try to stay really busy. Keep us posted!
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| Posted: 4/21/2005 12:30:14 PM | |
| P: 4/21/2005 3:02:05 PM | |
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Cath Cut Rock Total Posts: 373 Last Post: 8/17/2005 Member Since: 9/29/2004 |
Since you say the new timeline is before August, you should assume that it's not going to happen until the end of July. Try to keep your expectations low -- I know that sounds bad, but it's the only way I find that keeps me from going batty about things like this! Plus it will keep you from being disappointed if you guys are, say, at a romantic dinner next month -- you won't be thinking "I wonder if he's going to do it tonight???" only to find out it was just a romantic dinner and nothing more.  Guys are funny -- sometimes they don't realize how seriously we take timelines when it comes to engagements! And I find that many tend to wait until the very end. There was one girl here whose boyfriend told her he would propose in less than 40 days. I posted that if a guy says less than 40 days, assume it'll be on the 39th! He proposed on the 37th day. See what I mean? 
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| Posted: 4/21/2005 3:02:05 PM | |
| P: 4/21/2005 3:05:24 PM | |
blueroses Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,221 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 11/15/2004 |
Deep breathing! It will be ok--even though it's GOOD timeline change news, it still causes anxiety, I'm sure. A friend of mine was supposed to get engaged by June 1 and he proposed the night of May 31.....so be happy that you're getting a 4-5 month reprieve from the original plan, but I agree that I wouldn't worry about it until Aug. 1!!
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| Posted: 4/21/2005 3:05:24 PM | |
| P: 4/21/2005 4:13:08 PM | |
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jlc0604 Rough Rock Total Posts: 75 Last Post: 9/17/2005 Member Since: 11/8/2004 |
thanks guys, i'm trying to not get ahead of myself and to not assume any earlier than august. but it's hard! especially since our three year anniversary is the beginning of may, and my birthday is the beginning of june. so there will probably be a lot of fancy dinners that i'll have to suffer through. plus he keeps bringing it up! it's going to be a long four months.
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| Posted: 4/21/2005 4:13:08 PM | |
| P: 4/21/2005 5:07:31 PM | |
aljdewey Ideal Rock Total Posts: 8,236 Last Post: 2/11/2008 Member Since: 11/25/2002 |
 Date: 4/21/2005 12:23:20 PM Author:jlc0604 I told him basically that I'd love for it to be sooner, but that he shouldn't feel pressured to do it before he's ready. So it was up to him. First, let me tell you what a fantastic and poised response you gave! Honest that you'd love it sooner, but giving him the room to do it when he's most comfortable. VERY classy. There IS no easy way to handle the anticipation. I think the only thing you can do is focus on his original timeline....and keep telling yourself "I'll be engaged by December." He's confirmed that he wants it too....and that's the thing to focus on. It's hard to imagine he'd "change his mind" unless some pressing financial emergency arose.....but again, if you keep focusing on NO LATER than December, it may help. _____________________ |
| Posted: 4/21/2005 5:07:31 PM | |
| P: 4/21/2005 6:56:02 PM | |
Strawdermangrl Cut Rock Total Posts: 352 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 3/7/2005 |
I was the same way- but I drove myself NUTS. My now FI kept saying that we would be engaged by last April- I WAS CRAZY OBSESSED!! I drove myself mad- checking and snooping and then I sat with myself one night, real quiet and thought " This is the most amazing moment in my life (to that point) and I need to be still and paitent" and you know what? I enjoyed our relationship and absorbed everything that my friends and family could offer. The time flew by (from July 03- April 04) and I couldn't believe it- NO RING. WOW.... He ended up proposing a few months later and gave me a little speech after he did. He said "Honey this is supposed to be a total surprise and I didn't want to you be expecting it, I didn't want you to be upset you weren't one of the girlfriends who got engaged and totally caught off guard." He was right!!! All my waiting and snooping made me NUTS and looking back I would have been sad that I wasn't totally surprised. SOOO moral of my NOVEL (  ) is- enjoy what life is giving you right now- Know that it is on its way and you don't have to wonder if it is ever going to happen- it will- but you let it and him take you by surprise!!Good Luck Darlin'- it will be well worth the wait!! " I got nothing" |
| Posted: 4/21/2005 6:56:02 PM | |
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