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 Engagement Ring on right hand???

P:  10/29/2004 8:10:10 PM  
Jewel of NY
Jewel of NY

Rough Rock
Total Posts: 9
Last Post: 11/22/2004
Member Since: 10/29/2004
 
Hi everyone--I have been lurking here for a while, my bf and I have been shoppoing for an e-ring. 

I am left handed and I have never worn any jewelry on my left hand--no watch, bracelets or rings.   I wear all my jewelry on the right hand, never on the left!!!!  

I've always thought that when I get married, I would wear a small band on my left hand, but that is all I could get used to.  I have doubts about whether I could wear a ring with a stone in it on my left hand.  People tell me to wear my e-ring on my left hand until I get married, then change it to my right hand.  In order to do that, I would have to buy the ring in the size for my left hand and then re-size it later, when I get married.  My ring size is much different on the left and the right!!  The problem is that the ring that I want has a pave band, all around, and may not be easy to size. 

Should I:

try to adjust to having a ring on my left hand and wear it that way for good?

wear it on my left, then change the size for my right later? 

get it made for my right hand right from the start and don't worry that most people wear it on the left.  If  I am more comfortable on the right, I should wear it that way. 

For those who want the details of what the ring may look like: 

I am trying to decide whether to use my grandmother's stone.  We do not have the exact specs because we have not removed it yet from the old setting.  It's a round stone.  We've been told that it is probably a G color, 1.2-1.25 carats and the cut is an older cut that has less facets than today's cuts.  It is estimated that if I have it re-polished it will be a VS1.  Right now, because of a chip in the girdle, it would be an SI-1.  This is all estimated because the stone has not been removed from the old setting.  I am considering re-setting it in the Ritani Endless Love setting.  I have not removed it from the setting yet because Ritani insists on seeing it in the original setting.  (So, how would I get it appraised while adhering to Ritani rules?)

The old setting is gorgeous, a traditional setting with a baguette on either side.  Still, I want to re-set the stone.  I've been told that I can opt to have the stone re-cut  stone to be more modern but I think that I will pass on that option.  The stone has a lot of sparkle as it is.  I was told that considering the age of it, the cut is phenomenal.  I assume this means that today's cuts are much better, though.  Still, I really like grandma's stone and she she always told me to go pick a setting that I  liked.    My bf is willing to buy me something else entirely, or use this stone.

Any input on what I am considering and what to do about being a crazy left handed person??????????????????



Posted:  10/29/2004 8:10:10 PM

 There are 25 replies to this message.  There are 25 replies on this page.

P: 10/29/2004 8:21:53 PM
Hest88
Hest88

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 3,678
Last Post: 11/22/2009
Member Since: 1/22/2003
 
Okay, the first thing I would do is verify how different your left sizing would be vs. your right. Mine is about 1/4, which means I can switch hands easily even if it's not ideal.

The other consideration, though, is that if you use your left hand more you're more likely to damage your ring. (Granted, I'm sporting a right hand rings right now and I'm right handed, so I guess it shouldn't be your only consideration!)

If the option is between sizing and not sizing I'd just wear your e-ring on your right hand. Anyone of any consequence will know you're engaged anyway, and if asked you can just say you're left-handed.

Also, I'm glad you're not having your grandma's stone re-cut. Older stones, like Victorian houses, have a charm and style that modern cuts just can't match.

Congratulations on your engagement and hope this helped a little bit!

Posted:  10/29/2004 8:21:53 PM
P: 10/29/2004 8:48:52 PM
perry
perry

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 1,782
Last Post: 11/16/2009
Member Since: 9/19/2004
 
By their vary nature, diamonds are unique.  No two are alike.

Kinda like people:  You were born unique, don't die a copy!

Wearing the e-ring on the left hand is a custom; not a requirment.  As you seem to have strong feelings about keeping the left hand free, then perhaps wearing it on the right hand is the perfectly right thing for you to do.

My GF asked me if I even wanted to wear a weading band because I don't wear rings (and have not since I was a teenager).  I will not post the details of the reason for that, just know that there is a reason why rings and watches are not recomended to be worn in shops where sizable rotating or mooving equipment is operated.

Concerning your other comments related to your Grandmothers ring.

First, polishing it will not change its clarity from SI1 to VS1.  Clarity is an rating of internal flaws.  since you report that the stone has good sparkle I see no reason to repolish it (and a bad polish job would probalby hurt the diamond).

The chip has nothing to do with clarity (and if you could  make it vanish it would not change the clarity).

You cannot remove the chip without recutting the stone, which will reduce the weight(and will probably cost you its current sparkle). 

Ritani is absolutly correct to want to view the old diamond in its current setting before removing it (like maybe the diamond is cracked and removing it will further damage it).  I suggest that you get a good jeweler (or appraiser) to clean and inspect the ring and diamond to tell you what your options are. There are list of good people on the home page of pricescope, or skim the postings here and find one that you like and trust.

My $0.02 worth of advise beyond that is that I would get a new ring with a modern well cut diamond (from any standard pricescope vendors or a quality local jeweler - if you have on), unless the the old stone really checked out OK.  It does sound like the old stone would make a great pendant assuming that it can safely be remounted.

Perry

Posted:  10/29/2004 8:48:52 PM
P: 10/29/2004 9:04:22 PM
valeria101
valeria101

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 14,048
Last Post: 4/30/2006
Member Since: 8/29/2003
 

'Guess the "Right Hand Ring" campaign does discriminate againt lefties, doesn't it ?


Ana "The greatest experts are only as good as the sum total of what they have seen." [Souren Melikian]

Posted:  10/29/2004 9:04:22 PM
P: 10/29/2004 11:30:22 PM
Jewel of NY
Jewel of NY

Rough Rock
Total Posts: 9
Last Post: 11/22/2004
Member Since: 10/29/2004
 
Thanks everyone--I have a lot to consider.  I am certainly rough on my left hand.  My manicure will last a long time on my right hand, but the left hand will get ruined faster.  

About the clarity of my grandmother's ring--apparently, it was a VS-1 before the chip but right now, the appraiser would be reluctant to give it a VS-1 rating because of the chip.  The polishing would remove that flaw and bring it back to VS-1.  The ring has not been cleaned, so the comments about clarity might be inaccurate anyway. 

Posted:  10/29/2004 11:30:22 PM
P: 10/30/2004 1:04:33 AM
headlight
headlight

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 656
Last Post: 8/19/2009
Member Since: 11/2/2003
 
Here are my .02:
1.  Many people wear an e-ring on the left hand until they get the wedding band.  I say go ahead and have the r-ring sized for the right hand and if you can "wing it" on the left prior to the marriage and you WANT to, then wear it on the left and then switch to the right after the wedding... or just go ahead and wear it on the right.  My best friend received an amazing e-ring many years ago that was too large for her left finger and never wanted to get it sized so it has always been worn on the right hand.  I may ultimately have to wear any/either e-ring/band on my right because I have too many arthritic issues with the left.  You should do what you like.  Many people wear their watch on the right hand, despite "tradition" dictating otherwise. 

2.  Grandma's ring -- I say let your boyfriend buy you what he chooses, but don't dismantle her ring! 

Posted:  10/30/2004 1:04:33 AM
P: 10/30/2004 1:19:47 AM
Jewel of NY
Jewel of NY

Rough Rock
Total Posts: 9
Last Post: 11/22/2004
Member Since: 10/29/2004
 
I wear my watch on my right hand, against "tradition."   I am a die hard lefty!!   For years, I did not realize that other people do not have to take off their watches to wind them (if worn on the right hand, the winding dial is not properly located and you have to remove the watch to wind it).  I was discussing this with my mom today and I joked that if I were to wear my watch on the left, I would not be able to tell time.   I really wear any and all jewelry on the right, so a ring on the left would be a big adjustment.  Then again, marriage itself will be a big adjustment and perhaps I need to get used to making changes. 

I will  keep you all posted on the "big" decisions--left vs. right and whether I will use grandma's stone for an e-ring.    Thanks for all the good advice, please keep it coming!! 

Posted:  10/30/2004 1:19:47 AM
P: 10/30/2004 5:26:45 AM
perry
perry

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 1,782
Last Post: 11/16/2009
Member Since: 9/19/2004
 
There is no way to remove that  chip without removing material (and that is called recutting).  That will affect the cut of the diamond, and affect the symetry as well.  This will affect light return and sparkle of the diamond.

Please click on the Ideal Scope button under the TOOLS menu above to learn a bit about light return of a diamond and symetry effects (and you might want to get one and inspect your grandma's diamond with it as well).  This is possible with most rings by holding the ring right.

I have not seen a lot of discussion here, but somewhere I read an article about recutting diamonds to remove chips, with the general recomendation of "don't do it" unless you are willing to sacrifice a fair amount of weight in order to retain proper symetry.

Perry

Posted:  10/30/2004 5:26:45 AM
P: 10/30/2004 6:25:16 AM
katbadness
katbadness

Cut Rock
Total Posts: 459
Last Post: 8/25/2005
Member Since: 1/29/2004
 
Date: 10/30/2004 5:26:45 AM
Author: perry
There is no way to remove that  chip without removing material (and that is called recutting).  That will affect the cut of the diamond, and affect the symetry as well.  This will affect light return and sparkle of the diamond.

Please click on the Ideal Scope button under the TOOLS menu above to learn a bit about light return of a diamond and symetry effects (and you might want to get one and inspect your grandma's diamond with it as well).  This is possible with most rings by holding the ring right.

I have not seen a lot of discussion here, but somewhere I read an article about recutting diamonds to remove chips, with the general recomendation of 'don't do it' unless you are willing to sacrifice a fair amount of weight in order to retain proper symetry.

Perry

I would like to add a few thoughts with regards to recutting.

I second Hest's opinion regarding an old cut diamond (OEC, OMC). It has its own charm that is different than a modern cut diamond. If it is cut to good proportions and symmetry, it will be a shame to recut it to modern proportions. Additionally, you will loose weight due to the recutting process.

However, if the chip really bothers you, then I'd suggest getting the stone looked at Dave Atlas (Oldminer) - he is an independent appraiser and our resident expert on old cut diamonds here on this forum. He will be able to advice you on whether repolishing is sufficient to take care of the chip or further recut is necessary and how much, or even whether it's better to leave it alone..

Posted:  10/30/2004 6:25:16 AM
P: 10/30/2004 9:32:51 AM
Daniela
Daniela

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 703
Last Post: 8/16/2006
Member Since: 10/2/2003
 
Perry,

You are mistaken about chips not affecting the clarity grade.  Surface chips, just like naturals (which are also on the surface and are therefore not internal), affect the clarity grading very much.  I have also often heard the experts on this forum say that depending on the size of the chip, it is sometimes possible to simply repolish the stone, losing a very a small amount of carat weight, in order to rectify the problem.  If she has been advised that this is a possibility, then we have no reason to think that it's not feasible. 

Posted:  10/30/2004 9:32:51 AM
P: 10/30/2004 9:39:04 AM
Daniela
Daniela

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 703
Last Post: 8/16/2006
Member Since: 10/2/2003
 
And Jewel, I think that you should definitely wear the engagement ring on your left hand. It sounds like it's what you really want, anyway, and I've heard of women having their rings sized to their right hands after the wedding, so I don't see a big difference. You should do what's best for you. Some people will ask you why you wear it on the right, and you'll just say it's because it's more comfortable there, and that's that. The Ritani endless love setting (which is just soooo stunning!) cannot be sized, so you have to get what fits and stick with it.

Posted:  10/30/2004 9:39:04 AM
P: 10/30/2004 11:38:36 AM
Jewel of NY
Jewel of NY

Rough Rock
Total Posts: 9
Last Post: 11/22/2004
Member Since: 10/29/2004
 
Hi everyone--I'm told that my grandmother's ring is not a mine cut, is closer to a modern cut but still has some characteristics of the mine cut.  Interesting.  I atill think that an expert in the older cuts would be helpful to me.    I was just looking at it and I see no reason to re-cut it.  However, I do want to treat the little chip on the girdle.  I have been told that can be done with repolishing.

Posted:  10/30/2004 11:38:36 AM
P: 10/30/2004 1:29:49 PM
Rowan
Rowan

Cut Rock
Total Posts: 467
Last Post: 9/1/2006
Member Since: 7/14/2004
 
I say go ahead and wear it on your right hand.  My right and left ring fingers are entire size different.  It would be a huge pain to try and resize an eternity-type ring.  Put it where you're comfortable with it and where it's less likely to get banged up.  In Germany, the right hand is the marriage hand.

~*Rowan*~

Posted:  10/30/2004 1:29:49 PM
P: 10/30/2004 3:18:42 PM
Nicrez
Nicrez

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 3,230
Last Post: 10/21/2009
Member Since: 1/21/2004
 
Hope you can read this.  Straight from GIA on clarity grading.  It's possible to polish out some surface blemishes and characteristics.  Again, an experienced lapidary would be best to handle such a thing....

"Sometimes it's OK to throw rocks at girls...as long as they sparkle! "

Nicrez, G.G., A.J.P.

Posted:  10/30/2004 3:18:42 PM
P: 10/30/2004 3:21:28 PM
Nicrez
Nicrez

Ideal Rock
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I hope this loads
 

 

"Sometimes it's OK to throw rocks at girls...as long as they sparkle! "

Nicrez, G.G., A.J.P.

Posted:  10/30/2004 3:21:28 PM
P: 9/12/2005 3:01:43 PM
phylah
phylah

Rough Rock
Total Posts: 4
Last Post: 9/12/2005
Member Since: 9/12/2005
 
With the way the world is headed, pretty much anyone can do anything anymore. I guess it depends on your thoughts about tradition? Is your significant other okay with this?
Personally, I am left handed and never wore jewelry on my left hand either, and I find it very flattering to have a single piece of jewelry stand out so much, showing our love for one another. I am recently engaged and it doesn't take long to get used to the feel of it. My finger got really tired for a long time wearing a ring but it gets better.

Posted:  9/12/2005 3:01:43 PM
P: 9/12/2005 3:49:50 PM
VuittonGal
VuittonGal

Cut Rock
Total Posts: 364
Last Post: 9/12/2006
Member Since: 6/22/2005
 
Personally, I'd try to adjust. I also don't wear any rings (at all!) and it'll take some getting used to. However, I think it'll be such a great feeling to finally have that ring on my finger that it won't bother me one bit. This ring is a lot different than just a decorative ring--it's more symbolic than anything. You may actually feel different once it's on your finger. Let us know what you decide to do!

Posted:  9/12/2005 3:49:50 PM
P: 9/12/2005 3:51:18 PM
ame
ame

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 3,452
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Member Since: 7/7/2004
 
I do have some lefty advice for you...besides yes, get used to wearing something there ;)

I dont recommend eternity bands, and anything really crazy and unprotected if you use your hands a lot. Taking from experience, whacking silverware, keys, seatbelts, writing with it on, etc....kind of beats it up faster.

Posted:  9/12/2005 3:51:18 PM
P: 9/12/2005 4:39:01 PM
mrssalvo
mrssalvo

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I think Jewel of NY has already decided. this thread is from 10/04





-----------------------------
A deal is only a deal if you are getting exactly what you want.

Posted:  9/12/2005 4:39:01 PM
P: 9/12/2005 5:10:26 PM
FireGoddess
FireGoddess

Ideal Rock
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get it made for my right hand right from the start and don't worry that most people wear it on the left. If I am more comfortable on the right, I should wear it that way.

This is my vote.  Most europeans wear their rings on their right hands...who cares what other people think??  If you don't want to wear the ring on the left hand, wear it on your right!  Most people will recognize a wedding set regardless of which hand you wear it on.






Posted:  9/12/2005 5:10:26 PM
P: 9/12/2005 5:15:49 PM
Rascal49
Rascal49

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 4,350
Last Post: 7/16/2007
Member Since: 7/25/2004
 
Definitely do what you are most comfortable with.  Just be prepared for a question or two, but for the most part, I don't think anyone will care.  And even if they do care, who cares?!  You and your husband will know that you are married and what the rings symbolize regardless of what hand they are on.

Good luck!!

________________________________

Michelle

AKA Stretch4

I intend to live forever... so far, so good.

Posted:  9/12/2005 5:15:49 PM
P: 9/12/2005 7:07:13 PM
Tacori E-ring
Tacori E-ring

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LOL mrssalvo

Posted:  9/12/2005 7:07:13 PM
P: 9/12/2005 7:08:27 PM
mrssalvo
mrssalvo

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 16,856
Last Post: 11/20/2009
Member Since: 1/3/2005
 
Date: 9/12/2005 7:07:13 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
LOL mrssalvo


you seem to be the only one to notice i guess no one else reads my posts





-----------------------------
A deal is only a deal if you are getting exactly what you want.

Posted:  9/12/2005 7:08:27 PM
P: 9/12/2005 7:13:51 PM
Tacori E-ring
Tacori E-ring

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 16,087
Last Post: 11/23/2009
Member Since: 8/15/2005
 
I DO! You are very smart. I wonder how they found this....

Posted:  9/12/2005 7:13:51 PM
P: 9/12/2005 7:14:31 PM
Rascal49
Rascal49

Ideal Rock
Total Posts: 4,350
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Date: 9/12/2005 7:08:27 PM
Author: mrssalvo

Date: 9/12/2005 7:07:13 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
LOL mrssalvo


you seem to be the only one to notice i guess no one else reads my posts
LOL, darn, I am usually so good at looking at the dates!

________________________________

Michelle

AKA Stretch4

I intend to live forever... so far, so good.

Posted:  9/12/2005 7:14:31 PM
P: 9/13/2005 2:04:38 AM
DoubleB
DoubleB

Rough Rock
Total Posts: 43
Last Post: 10/14/2005
Member Since: 7/23/2005
 
Nice detective work, Mrs. Salvo!

Actually, they were ALL from last year until Phylah came along earlier today, and that faked out "I bet I drive you guys crazy" who finally chose a setting , and then the rest of the dominoes fell.

I'm just teasing you, VG!

Double B

Posted:  9/13/2005 2:04:38 AM

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