Is it tacky....

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jackieblue

"Our happiness or unhappiness depends more on the way we meet the events of life than on the nature of those events themselves."
- Alexander Humboldt

"... (Corporations) have all the benefits of voters, without the guidance of a conscience. ... Corporations they will bring this country down."

Theodore Roosevelt 1904

Sursum Corda!

Mess with Texas.

"Sometimes it's OK to throw rocks at girls...as long as they sparkle! "

Nicrez, G.G., A.J.P.

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On 4/5/2004 5:22:25 PM AtlantaC wrote:

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I agree that it's not a clear cut issue as it once was. When young couples really are just starting out, or couples are filling up a home, those store registries are a huge help. However, many couples, like my fiancee and I, have already been together for a while and on our own for quite some time. That means such couples probably already have all the linens, dishes, knives, pots, pans, crock-pots, blenders, toasters and little candle holders they need.
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jackieblue

"Our happiness or unhappiness depends more on the way we meet the events of life than on the nature of those events themselves."
- Alexander Humboldt

Fuffi, G.G., A.J.P.

"Sometimes it's OK to throw rocks at girls...as long as they sparkle! "

Nicrez, G.G., A.J.P.

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On 4/5/2004 1:12:33 AM cmcwill wrote:

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Is it tacky to have some sort of 'honeymoon fund' either on your registry or mentioned on your knot website or something similiar?


Colleen----------------

A Girl's Best Friend

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On 4/23/2004 4:12:46 PM Nicrez wrote:

"I am starting to save for our honeymoon NOW in 2006."





Not bad, but I won't be impressed until I hear that you have started the college funds for your offspring ;-).

Deb

A Girl's Best Friend

"Sometimes it's OK to throw rocks at girls...as long as they sparkle! "

Nicrez, G.G., A.J.P.

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On 4/23/2004 5:07:31 PM Nicrez wrote:

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Be impressed when I start trust for each child commencing with $5K-$10K at their birth. Each birthday I will deposit $1K+ (depending on how well we can save).


Now don't get scared, but I already have the mock up papers in a file, because this is what my wealthy boss did for every single family member and if I can learn at least ONE thing from the wealthy, it's how to shelter my money so it can be given in it's highest form to those in my family...


I also have a 401K where I have been contributing since I was 19 at 15% every year. My fiance will SOON be starting his, thanks to his aggressively anal wife-to-be...----------------

A Girl's Best Friend

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On 4/6/2004 12:59:57 PM jackieblue wrote:

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On 4/5/2004 5:22:25 PM AtlantaC wrote:

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However, many couples, like my fiancee and I, have already been together for a while and on our own for quite some time.  That means such couples probably already have all the linens, dishes, knives, pots, pans, crock-pots, blenders, toasters and little candle holders they need.
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This is why we didn't register anywhere.  We are older and already had at least 2 (sometimes 3) of everything.

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This is SOOO true, and we ran into this problem, too.  FI and I both work at the same company, and we have been asked 3-4 times to give registry information.  I explained to one of the women that we TRULY don't want for anything in the house....heck, we barely have room now to store the stuff we have.  We have more sheets/towels than a darn hotel, and we actually *threw out* more than half of Rich's house when we moved in over a year ago.

We don't yet own a house, but are planning to purchase in the next year, so we too thought that Home Depot gift cards or gift cards to the car service (to get to the airport) were great ideas.

I'd gently point out, Nicrez, that suggesting gift cards for honeymoon activities doesn't imply that folks don't already have financial provisions in place for the honeymoon.   I think that sometimes honeymoon suggestions arise because 1) it's a special time, and 2) it's something people will use and appreciate.  I often ask about honeymoon plans when gifting for others.  Why?   I'm delighted to give a gift, but I don't really want to spend money on a gift that collects dust in someone's closet.  I want them to use and enjoy it....then it's money well spent.  To me, the honeymoon is a perfect time to make some unique memories.  Heck, AMEX travelers checks might allow someone to splurge on a really good bottle of champagne that they wouldn't otherwise. 

Co-workers asked where we are going and asked for names of restaurants we might like to eat at while we are honeymooning.....so we gladly gave them that information even though we have budgeted generously for our honeymoon.

_____________________
Note: Chainsaw Not Sold Separately.

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On 4/23/2004 8:49:22 PM aljdewey wrote:

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On 4/6/2004 12:59:57 PM jackieblue wrote:

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I'm delighted to give a gift, but I don't really want to spend money on a gift that collects dust in someone's closet. I want them to use and enjoy it....then it's money well spent.

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Thank goodness there's someone else out there who feels that way...a giver rather than a judge. I was beginning to wonder.

If someone had a gift to give that they thought was just perfect or had special meaning to them already, they wouldn't be asking people where the couple is registered. The simple act of asking for registry info is like saying, "We'd like to give them something they need/want/can use." If you don't care, or as I said if you've already settled on something meaningful, special or even your customary gift, then you don't ask.

"Well, the couple didn't really register for anything since they're planning to move away. We're just going to give them money to help out." --- Wha?!! Money! The nerve!

"Well, the couple is registered at Tiffany's." --- Wha?!! The nerve!

"Well, they registered at Target." --- Wha?!!! They think I'm cheap? The nerve!

My problem is with this vitriol over the answer to the question asked and judging the qualities of the person who answered it. Despite the answer, the asker is still a human being with free will and there are still a whole range of options available to them. They just get what THEY want or give nothing and come support the couple anyway. A gift, whatever it is, is not like paying for a ticket to the wedding. There won't be a bouncer at the door to collect gifts and allow entry. If someone feels that awful about the occasion, they should stay home.

From what I've read in this thread, there seems to be this intricate maze full of hurt-feeling pitfalls, you-bad-person dead-ends, and never-speak-to-you-again traps laid out for a couple. That couple might've thought they were inviting friends and loved ones to share in a special occasion with them rather than inviting a pack of vipers to a rodent roundup. Apparently, there's a kind of sick, unholy pressure put on these couples by some of their guests. Do these people put the same pressure on a friend who has a birthday party? Must he or she walk the same delicate tight-rope? If Little Johnny is asked what he wants for his birthday, should he be trained to answer with a variety of items ranging from $1-100 so everyone feels comfortable? If someone has a specific list of things that will satisfy THEM and make THEM happy when they are invited to someone else's special event, I would politely submit that everyone would ultimately be happier if THEY stayed home.

We're talking about people's relationships with people. If the rules for having a relationship with someone like that are so prescriptive, perhaps the perfect gift would be a rulebook.

"Sometimes it's OK to throw rocks at girls...as long as they sparkle! "

Nicrez, G.G., A.J.P.

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On 4/27/2004 7:49:16 PM Nicrez wrote:

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We all have opinions, and we mention it. Do we molly-coddle when people ask a question, no. Should we? I don't think so. I think if you can't handle the answers you will receive, don't ask the question, just do it.

We're just here to give our opinions and I am still saying I think it's tacky to ASK for a gift so specifically, but it isn't MY wedding in the pink wedding dress is it?! ----------------

"Sometimes it's OK to throw rocks at girls...as long as they sparkle! "

Nicrez, G.G., A.J.P.

"Sometimes it's OK to throw rocks at girls...as long as they sparkle! "

Nicrez, G.G., A.J.P.

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On 4/30/2004 4:26:18 PM Nicrez wrote:

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1) Many people want to uphold traditions as a way of holding onto something they think is worthwhile or nostalgic.

2) Many people want to make NEW traditions, and do away with old ones, as they view them to be restrictive and outdated (sometimes even offensive as they have roots in negative things to them)

3) Opinions are like mouths, everyone has one. Some people are more vocal on some things, or more obstinant on some views, as everyone makes a stand on SOMETHING, so we all pick and choose our little pets...

4) Some people just like to argue and play devil's advocate, as it can be a thoroughly fun and interesting way to get a point across or to clairfy a point(s)...
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On 4/30/2004 4:26:18 PM Nicrez wrote:

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7) The only thing that can be considered tacky is the Macarena at a wedding... I believe that's in the Bible, next to gay marriages and SI-1 diamonds being 'impure'...----------------