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She ain't a MOH no mo' !

P: 5/10/2009 6:07:59 PM
PearlDahhhling Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,148 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 4/2/2008	So yesterday I was visiting my Dad in the hospital and we were on the internet trying to email a card that we made for my grandmother (his mom) and I noticed I had an email from the "MOH" who has been creating so much drama about her boyfriend, etc. There was no subject/title to the email so I figured something was up, since there's pretty much ALWAYS some sort of title from her. So I waited until I wasn't with my Dad anymore and read it. Woah. Pretty much it was a super long email that said I was selfish for not letting her boyfriend come to my wedding, and that everything isn't always about me, and that she can't BELIEVE I was so "disrespectful" to her mother (while the email I sent to her mother was straightforward, it was DEFINITELY not rude or disrespectful). And that she isn't going to "put up with my shit" anymore and that she's can't justify being a part of my wedding. I just emailed her back a simple "Okay, I'm sorry you feel that way. Goodbye." Because I know anything more than that would give her a reason to argue and bitch. And I'm tired of that. (Oh and just so you guys know, this was the first communication between us since the email from her mother. I never sent her the demotion letter, nor brought it up with her because after reading all your responses to it, I agreed with you all that it would cause more drama.) So she's out. And I'm actually totally at peace with it. I saw it coming, and I'm not surprised in the least. I've known that she was capable of this for a long time, I just didn't want to think she'd do it to me, after almost 12 years of "friendship." But our friendship has been one-sided for a looong time. She's not the person she used to be. She smokes pot and drinks constantly, sleeps with random guys, and doesn't really give a crap about anyone but herself. She's not the girl I became best friends with so long ago, but I guess I was holding onto hope that she would become that girl again. But it's a lost cause. And I'm moving on. I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. This also solves my other problem as well. I wanted to promote my bm to moh without causing any drama, and now that one moh is out, I can! I also think I'm going to ask my FI's cousin to be my other bridesmaid. I know it's last minute, but I actually thought about asking her from the beginning, but we weren't very close and I already had 4 girls, so I just didn't. I think she'll be into it and not offended at all that it's a last minute thing. I've gotten to know her better over the past few months too. And she's family. She won't f*** me over. She's done, I'm done, and it feels right. I'm a married woman!!!
Posted: 5/10/2009 6:07:59 PM

There are 29 replies to this message. There are 29 replies on this page.

P: 5/10/2009 6:52:39 PM
mscushion Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,166 Last Post: 11/16/2009 Member Since: 11/15/2008	Oh, wow! Well, she solved that problem for you. Good riddance.
Posted: 5/10/2009 6:52:39 PM

P: 5/10/2009 7:11:14 PM
ilovethiswebsite Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,531 Last Post: 11/15/2009 Member Since: 1/13/2008	wow. ur ex friend sounds incredibly immature and self-certered... thank God you got rid of her! sounds like she didn't value your friendship at all... you don't need to waste energy on people like that in your life. it's better to have a few real friends than many pseudo psycho bi*tch friends...
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:11:14 PM

P: 5/10/2009 7:55:02 PM
JerseyGrl81 Cut Rock Total Posts: 269 Last Post: 11/6/2009 Member Since: 7/12/2008	I am glad everything is working out for you! Your x-MOH seemed like a lot of trouble!
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:55:02 PM

P: 5/10/2009 8:29:15 PM
iloveprincesscuts Ideal Rock Total Posts: 882 Last Post: 9/15/2009 Member Since: 5/4/2008	oh im glad for you - one that she's out and two that you are not upset about it - thank god huh? everything happens for a reason...........
Posted: 5/10/2009 8:29:15 PM

P: 5/10/2009 8:38:00 PM
doodle Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,373 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 2/23/2008	funny how well things take care of themselves sometimes, huh? glad to hear that problem solved itself! i know it can be difficult to let a friendship of that many years fade away, but trust me, in the long run, this is one person your life would be better without! she's caused you enough heartache, and at a time when you most needed support from your friends, not extra BS. good riddance!
Posted: 5/10/2009 8:38:00 PM

P: 5/10/2009 9:22:34 PM
lliang_chi Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,236 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 3/13/2008	I'm glad your "friend" won't be causing you anymore stress.
Posted: 5/10/2009 9:22:34 PM

P: 5/10/2009 9:29:42 PM
Magenta Cut Rock Total Posts: 140 Last Post: 11/18/2009 Member Since: 4/6/2009	Date: 5/10/2009 6:07:59 PM Author:PearlDahhhling So I waited until I wasn't with my Dad anymore and read it. Woah. Pretty much it was a super long email that said I was selfish for not letting her boyfriend come to my wedding, and that everything isn't always about me, and that she can't BELIEVE I was so 'disrespectful' to her mother (while the email I sent to her mother was straightforward, it was DEFINITELY not rude or disrespectful). And that she isn't going to 'put up with my shit' anymore and that she's can't justify being a part of my wedding. Y'know, I haven't done this whole wedding thing myself yet, but it seems pretty clear to me that the wedding day is one of the few days that is supposed to be "all about you and your husband(-to-be)". Craziness! I'm glad this got resolved, and she's out of your life!
Posted: 5/10/2009 9:29:42 PM

P: 5/10/2009 9:32:14 PM
mayachel Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,280 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 3/2/2008	Aiy ya yi. At least you won't be in the position of making hard choices with her now. Hopefully the rest is smooth sailing for you. Sorry you are having to go through all this.
Posted: 5/10/2009 9:32:14 PM

P: 5/10/2009 10:01:16 PM
princessplease Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,530 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 2/20/2009	Pearl, I'm glad you did what you had to do to make your wedding day perfect for you. I'm just sorry you had to deal with her to begin with. I'm also glad you are able to have the MOH you want in your wedding. ______________________________ On July 31 I will say those two little words that will take my breath away. One little kiss will have fulfilled all my wishes of going from Ms. G to his Mrs. V &hearts 249 days &hearts
Posted: 5/10/2009 10:01:16 PM

P: 5/10/2009 10:10:05 PM
House Cat Ideal Rock Total Posts: 513 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 2/22/2009	Date: 5/10/2009 9:29:42 PM Author: Magenta Date: 5/10/2009 6:07:59 PM Author:PearlDahhhling So I waited until I wasn't with my Dad anymore and read it. Woah. Pretty much it was a super long email that said I was selfish for not letting her boyfriend come to my wedding, and that everything isn't always about me, and that she can't BELIEVE I was so 'disrespectful' to her mother (while the email I sent to her mother was straightforward, it was DEFINITELY not rude or disrespectful). And that she isn't going to 'put up with my shit' anymore and that she's can't justify being a part of my wedding. Y'know, I haven't done this whole wedding thing myself yet, but it seems pretty clear to me that the wedding day is one of the few days that is supposed to be 'all about you and your husband(-to-be)'. Ya don't say! I'm so glad that this issue has resolved itself. It seems that weddings bring out the best and the worst in people. If you're going through hell, keep going. -Winston Churchill
Posted: 5/10/2009 10:10:05 PM

P: 5/11/2009 12:22:26 AM
Kelli Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,581 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 5/27/2008	Great! Things like that tend to work themselves out I've noticed. My friend was stressing about how to let a BM go, and the girl eventually excused herself from the "obligations". I'm glad you'll have a more supportive MOH now!
Posted: 5/11/2009 12:22:26 AM

P: 5/11/2009 8:37:25 AM
Porridge Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,613 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 10/27/2008	Date: 5/10/2009 6:07:59 PM Author:PearlDahhhling and that everything isn't always about me, and that she can't BELIEVE I was so 'disrespectful' to her mother (while the email I sent to her mother was straightforward, it was DEFINITELY not rude or disrespectful). And that she isn't going to 'put up with my shit' anymore and that she's can't justify being a part of my wedding. Um...it's your wedding day, so yeah, it kind of is!! Ugh, sounds like great riddance to rotten rubbish! Glad everything worked out for the best! You got what you wanted and came out of it looking good!
Posted: 5/11/2009 8:37:25 AM

P: 5/11/2009 9:10:47 AM
rhbgirl24 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,092 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 2/6/2009	Out with the bad, in with the good. Nice when things handle themselves and glad you dont have to deal with that anymore! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *MARRIED* and a Mrs.!!!! "Too many people miss the silver lining because they are expecting gold." Gra Dilseacht Cairdeas~Love, Loyalty, Friendship
Posted: 5/11/2009 9:10:47 AM

P: 5/11/2009 9:29:22 AM
luvthemstrawberries Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,947 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 6/19/2008	Yay Pearl! Haha she took care of it for you! Good - now your excellent BM can be an MOH, since she totally deserves it! Congrats - glad it worked out well for you.
Posted: 5/11/2009 9:29:22 AM

P: 5/11/2009 9:46:08 AM
hawaiianorangetree Ideal Rock Total Posts: 612 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 1/18/2009	i'm glad that this whole thing has sorted itself out for you! Now you can start looking forward to your wedding with happiness and excitement and not all those other feelings that you 'MOH' was making you feel... this is your day!
Posted: 5/11/2009 9:46:08 AM

P: 5/11/2009 9:53:52 AM
ams0124 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 934 Last Post: 8/11/2009 Member Since: 8/6/2008	Pearl I'm so glad that this is over with...It's tough to loose a friend especially one you've known for a long time, but like you said a one sided friendship really isn't a friendship at all. I'm glad that you finally have BM's and MOH's that are supportive of you and your FI, I'm sure your wedding day will be perfect and drama free!!
Posted: 5/11/2009 9:53:52 AM

P: 5/11/2009 10:13:25 AM
Lilac Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,187 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 5/4/2009	Glad it all worked out for you! Hopefully now the planning will be much easier and stress-free! _________________ "Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating... And I'm wondering what you're dreaming, wondering if it's me you're seeing... Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together... I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever... forever and ever..." "...I don't want to miss one smile.. I don't want to miss one kiss. I just want to be with you, right here with you, just like this... I just want to hold you close, feel your heart so close to mine... And just stay here in this moment for all the rest of time..." - Aerosmith
Posted: 5/11/2009 10:13:25 AM

P: 5/11/2009 10:16:42 AM
gaby06 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,166 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 3/14/2009	I'm very happy for you, now everthing works perfetc. I'm sure you will happier with out her and with the new MOH
Posted: 5/11/2009 10:16:42 AM

P: 5/11/2009 10:52:23 AM
tlh Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,065 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 12/31/2008	THAT IS AWESOME!!!! Seriously, sometimes things just resolve themselves! My girlfriend wanted to ask a girl NOT to be a bridesmaid AT ALL anymore, and I asked her to wait. I wanted them to have an actual discussion first to see what the true issue was.... then the bridesmaid sent a letter and an email dropping out all together... so the bride, my friend, didn't need to stress about it anymore. It resolved itself. This works out great. Because when the skitso friend tells people that SHE dropped out, SHE looks like the jerk! When they ask why, and she's like because she wouldn't let my boyfriend come. Anyone who hears that will be like... seriously, you dropped out from a MAID OF HONOR role because your boyfriend of 6 weeks couldn't come... wow, what HONOR you really have. As you said, you two have been slowly drifting apart over the years, and her ... let's say... lack of enthusiasm? for your entire wedding, and happiness, REALLY came through in the planning. I'd just let it go. If you can be friends later, awesome, but if she tries to get back in your wedding party, I think I'd let her know you cannot risk her dropping out again, and honestly, you've made other arrangements. You can chose whether or not to invite her as a guest... or just save the $$$ on her plate since she'll prob be a jerk RSVP yes, and then not show up. "I like smiling. Smiling's my favorite!" Will Ferrell ~ Elf
Posted: 5/11/2009 10:52:23 AM

P: 5/11/2009 3:44:42 PM
Bia Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,336 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 3/28/2008	Great. Now you can get on with things and enjoy! I am all for getting rid of toxic people, but know it's not always easy. But in this case she made it easy FOR YOU, so good riddance! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it Salvador Dali
Posted: 5/11/2009 3:44:42 PM

P: 5/11/2009 3:52:21 PM
bee* Ideal Rock Total Posts: 11,105 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 5/14/2006	That's brilliant that she did it for you!! Woohoo! That definitely solves a problem!
Posted: 5/11/2009 3:52:21 PM

P: 5/11/2009 4:31:32 PM
White Orchid Cut Rock Total Posts: 227 Last Post: 5/25/2009 Member Since: 5/4/2008	I'm so sorry you have to go through this, especially right now with all the wedding stress.
Posted: 5/11/2009 4:31:32 PM

P: 5/11/2009 5:41:04 PM
katamari Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,106 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 5/18/2008	Best case scenario! I am glad you get to focus on other things, Pearl!
Posted: 5/11/2009 5:41:04 PM

P: 5/11/2009 6:24:13 PM
marchswallowbird Ideal Rock Total Posts: 849 Last Post: 9/28/2009 Member Since: 4/22/2008	I had an ex-friend very much like that. I'm glad she's out of my life. She was a toxic personality for me, and a constant total drain on my emotions. It's regretful that your friendship ended, but they do that from time to time, as people change. I'm glad you're at peace with it.
Posted: 5/11/2009 6:24:13 PM

P: 5/12/2009 7:49:47 AM
ilovesparkles Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,179 Last Post: 10/13/2009 Member Since: 2/13/2006	I'm glad the drama is over for you! Something similar happened to me this week. My supposed BFF, who helped my fiance plan and execute the entire proposal mind you, has been acting like an A$$ lately. Now he has always been incredibly annoying, and that friend I have had to justify to others as being my friend, but I didn't care because we were close and good friends. The closer H and I got to being engaged, and then after the engagement, the more annoying and idiotic my BFF became. We had also asked him to be a groomsmen and a Jewish witness to our ketubah. He blew up in my face last week and we got in a huge argument. The gyst of it being, H was too in my business. Things got worse when H tried to defend me and intervene between the two of us, upon my request as this BFF would not leave me alone (texts, email, etc). Well the BFF decided to call it quits as he could not stand how I had turned into a deluded b!tch and allow H to defend me and what not. I said fine, and felt really relieved. At this point last week, I got really ill with a virus, ex-BFF emailed me again apologizing for 1 minor thing he did and wanted to make up. Are you kidding me! I didn't reply as I was incredibly ill, a day later he texted again, really angry I hadn't replied to his email. So I told him I was trying to get well, focus on ME for the time being, and I would get back to him when I had put some thought into his email. Well he couldn't take that and told me he never wanted to hear another word from my selfish mouth. And then proceeded to send H some insulting texts. I have never laughed so hard in my life, not only at the ridiculous insults, but that a grown man could act so selfish, immature, and jealous when his best friend got engaged. But honestly, I feel so much better, like this huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. And now I don't have to worry about him being in the wedding party (he was also making ridiculous demands, like what BM he got to walk down the aisle with). Sorry for the long post, thought you might get a good laugh out of a similar story. And here is to stupid people relieving themselves so we don't have to do the dirty work! Happy wedding planning Pearl!
Posted: 5/12/2009 7:49:47 AM

P: 5/12/2009 7:56:55 AM
honey22 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,951 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 7/29/2007	I'm glad that this has happened Pearl, the heat is off you now and you no longer have to stress about her being in your wedding. I really hope the rest of the leadup to the wedding goes smoothly, you deserve some smooth times! Wedding Date Take 2: 26th November 2009!
Posted: 5/12/2009 7:56:55 AM

P: 5/12/2009 6:53:46 PM
teapot Cut Rock Total Posts: 165 Last Post: 7/9/2009 Member Since: 1/5/2009	she did you a favor, now your day can be about you and not her and her drama. good riddance.
Posted: 5/12/2009 6:53:46 PM

P: 5/13/2009 11:42:30 AM
oh schnapp! Rough Rock Total Posts: 51 Last Post: 10/3/2009 Member Since: 8/20/2008	Date: 5/10/2009 6:07:59 PM Author:PearlDahhhling So yesterday I was visiting my Dad in the hospital and we were on the internet trying to email a card that we made for my grandmother (his mom) and I noticed I had an email from the 'MOH' who has been creating so much drama about her boyfriend, etc. There was no subject/title to the email so I figured something was up, since there's pretty much ALWAYS some sort of title from her. So I waited until I wasn't with my Dad anymore and read it. Woah. Pretty much it was a super long email that said I was selfish for not letting her boyfriend come to my wedding, and that everything isn't always about me, and that she can't BELIEVE I was so 'disrespectful' to her mother (while the email I sent to her mother was straightforward, it was DEFINITELY not rude or disrespectful). And that she isn't going to 'put up with my shit' anymore and that she's can't justify being a part of my wedding. I just emailed her back a simple 'Okay, I'm sorry you feel that way. Goodbye.' Because I know anything more than that would give her a reason to argue and bitch. And I'm tired of that. (Oh and just so you guys know, this was the first communication between us since the email from her mother. I never sent her the demotion letter, nor brought it up with her because after reading all your responses to it, I agreed with you all that it would cause more drama.) So she's out. And I'm actually totally at peace with it. I saw it coming, and I'm not surprised in the least. I've known that she was capable of this for a long time, I just didn't want to think she'd do it to me, after almost 12 years of 'friendship.' But our friendship has been one-sided for a looong time. She's not the person she used to be. She smokes pot and drinks constantly, sleeps with random guys, and doesn't really give a crap about anyone but herself. She's not the girl I became best friends with so long ago, but I guess I was holding onto hope that she would become that girl again. But it's a lost cause. And I'm moving on. I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. This also solves my other problem as well. I wanted to promote my bm to moh without causing any drama, and now that one moh is out, I can! I also think I'm going to ask my FI's cousin to be my other bridesmaid. I know it's last minute, but I actually thought about asking her from the beginning, but we weren't very close and I already had 4 girls, so I just didn't. I think she'll be into it and not offended at all that it's a last minute thing. I've gotten to know her better over the past few months too. And she's family. She won't f*** me over. She's done, I'm done, and it feels right. With a subject/title like that, I couldn't NOT read this one. Your friends sounds like a drama queen or a narcissist. We've all got one of these who we can only take in small doses. For starters, it's YOUR WEDDING, so it IS MOST DEFINITELY ABOUT YOU...It's a good thing you didn't send the previous demotion letter becasue my bet is that it would have fueled even more drama from her end, and you also avoided extra drama by keeping your reply concise with "sorry you feel this way...goodbye." NICE. You didn't do anything wrong, so let her be the bad guy in this. There's no telling what kind of stunt she would pull had you gone through with letting her be a part of your wedding. I'd call it a blessing in disguise - who needs that negative energy on the big day? T ;)
Posted: 5/13/2009 11:42:30 AM

P: 5/13/2009 7:02:02 PM
Tuckins1 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,397 Last Post: 11/24/2009 Member Since: 4/13/2008	Your problem solved itself! Good for you. "If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?!"
Posted: 5/13/2009 7:02:02 PM

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