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»  » I want to cry! The universe is conspiring against us!...
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I want to cry! The universe is conspiring against us!... |
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| P: 2/9/2009 2:38:37 PM | |
wannaBMrsH Ideal Rock Total Posts: 659 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 9/27/2008 |
I am going to try to make a long story as short as possible. The universe is trying to keep us from getting married and FI and I need all the dust possible. 1) Travel Agent MESSED UP royally. We sent in a $10k deposit to secure 30 destination packages (hotel and air) for our guests last week. The price for our DW in the Dominican Republic was initially around $1075 per person. Our agent said he had great news, as the price of the air fell by almost $250 when they booked and each package was now only $825. Yay, right? WRONG! When we received the contract, we realized that our #$%& agent booked all of our guests at the resort in the DR, but booked all the flights to CANCUN!!! In the process, they released our flights to the DR and when they tried to go back and get them, the flights were now $300 MORE than initially quoted per person. So either we wait and hope the prices drop again, or we book at nearly $1400 per person!  2) FI's stupid ex-wife caught wind of our wedding date and realized that it is the first weekend in SEP and technically HER weekend and has informed us that she wants to have "her" children for Labor Day weekend because she is planning a "family" vacation with them. We are NOT getting married without FI's kids (they LIVE with us and are so excited!) So we figured the incident above might be a blessing and gave them alternate dates (that fall on our legal weekends with the kids) but we won't know until someone updates us. 3) FI's mom, who used to really love me, is being so passive agressive! FI has a stepson (his ex-wife's son) who doesn't live with us. SS lives with his mom and while we were always friendly and even took him on vacations with us a few times, this past summer, he did a complete 360 and started referring to me as a 'ho3" and worse a "Spic" which is VERY offensive. Needless to say, he has not apologized and continues to behave this way and FI and I decided that it would not be a good idea to invite him to our wedding. FI's mom has threatened not to come to the wedding unless SS can come. She keeps pushing it. She sent FI an e-mail (back when we thought we had all our dates sorted) and asked "Are you bringing SS or am I?" Fi responded that he wasn't coming and she keeps pushing back. I finally had enough last night when she said, "We need to know right away so we can process his passport ASAP" and I told her, "In the first place he wasn't invited. In the second place, I will NOT be bullied into inviting someone who has been so completely mean to me to my own wedding. Finally, I don't handle ultimatums well. If you choose to not attend our wedding, you will be missed, but he has never apologized and at this point SS would only be learning that you can apologize to get what you want." I am sooooo frustrated! The only bright note is that FI has REALLY stepped up as far as pushing back to everyone (travel agent, ex-wife, and his mom!). The only reason she was over last night was because she knew he was traveling and wouldn't be home. Please send me some PS dust that everything works out the way that it is supposed to. I just feel like crying! 
~~~~~I know I'm yours, without fear or hesitation and without a doubt in my soul, I know I belong to you, I always have, I always will~~~~~ |
| Posted: 2/9/2009 2:38:37 PM | |
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There are 13 replies to this message. There are 13 replies on this page. |
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| P: 2/9/2009 2:46:30 PM | |
meresal Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,592 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 11/13/2007 |
I'm so sorry to hear about this. ***Lots of Huge and Lots of Dust*** {{{HUGS}}}
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| Posted: 2/9/2009 2:46:30 PM | |
| P: 2/9/2009 2:48:58 PM | |
fiery Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,129 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 5/18/2008 |
Wow WBMrsH That is so much stress to go through. Everyone is just being so selfish. Its hard to remember this now in the heat of things but just try to remember that there are 2 important people in this process: you and your FH. Make sure that all of the details work best for you and for him and just let everything else fall in its place. If his mom doesn't want to go because of the SS (which doesn't make sense to me since he's not technically her grandson anymore) then she can just stay home. Hope things work out!
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| Posted: 2/9/2009 2:48:58 PM | |
| P: 2/9/2009 3:04:06 PM | |
elrohwen Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,933 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 5/20/2008 |
Weddings can be such a stressful time. And it's such a shame because this should be your happiest time, but others are choosing to create drama.  Tons of dust for you! {{hugs}} I hope you and FI are able to work something out with his family and I hope the costs of flights comes down!
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| Posted: 2/9/2009 3:04:06 PM | |
| P: 2/9/2009 3:21:21 PM | |
cbs102 Ideal Rock Total Posts: 765 Last Post: 7/31/2009 Member Since: 3/26/2008 |
Have you ever been to childlessstepmoms.org ? amazing site..and perfect for your situation. i am so sorry that you are going through all this. as if being a stepmother is hard enough! i would be furious if my Fi's ex wife attempted to have a hand in changing my wedding date. its interesting what happens when they can use the children to gain an upper hand. i feel for you because i am in a very similar situation as you. in fact, i am having a destination wedding as well. (my first, his second). i however, have decided to forgo having anyone but my mother and sister attend..that includes my soon to be step daughter. I would actually love to have her come.. it was Fi's decision. the thing with Fi's SS is VERY weird. stand your ground. how DARE a child disrespect you in that manner! i was horrified when i read that. what does your FI say? is he standing behind you on that one? must be difficult trying to include someone that is not even related to your FI. they are asking a lot of you IMHO..
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| Posted: 2/9/2009 3:21:21 PM | |
| P: 2/9/2009 3:53:05 PM | |
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wannaBMrsH Ideal Rock Total Posts: 659 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 9/27/2008 |
Thank you, guys! I sometimes really NEED to hear that I am not losing my mind and that these items really are unacceptable. FI has actually been great and when I said SS could go as long as he apologized, he would have none of it. He said that this has been happening for almost a year and that any apology would be empty as we would all know the reason he is apologizing is because he would want a free trip to paradise. FI and I agree that, if SS's mom (FI's ex-wife) won't teach him this, then we will. If it was anyone else, there would be no question of him coming, but since FMIL is constantly being given the "abandonment" guilt trip, she's jumped on board. Thanks for letting me know that I am not being completely self-centered and selfish by wanting this one day to be about FI and Me and what (and WHO) we want! You guys rock! Thanks again! ~~~~~I know I'm yours, without fear or hesitation and without a doubt in my soul, I know I belong to you, I always have, I always will~~~~~ |
| Posted: 2/9/2009 3:53:05 PM | |
| P: 2/9/2009 4:14:12 PM | |
tlh Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,060 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 12/31/2008 |
I AM SOO SORRY, that all sounds just soo horrible. At least your FH is there with you and supporting you when the SS seems so evil. Where is he getting that? those are horrible words. (I dont know what ho3) is , but I do know what the other word means and that is unbelieveable. How old is the SS? Old enough to know better? or young enough that he is hearing these words somewhere else. I certainly don't hear them on TV! (but then again, we don't have cable.) HUGS! My thoughts are with you through this stressful time. I agree with your FH, the only reason an apology would be made, is exactly that... for a free vacation. Have a wonderful wedding, and surround yourselves with those that love and care for you. Best wishes! Let's hope by all these kinks happening now... they are just getting out of the way, before the day that really matters! ((HUGS!)) 
"I like smiling. Smiling's my favorite!" Will Ferrell ~ Elf |
| Posted: 2/9/2009 4:14:12 PM | |
| P: 2/9/2009 4:24:17 PM | |
bee* Ideal Rock Total Posts: 11,105 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 5/14/2006 |
I'm sorry to hear about all of that! That's rubbish about the flights but as you said, that might work out so that you can get it booked for the weekend that you have the children. In terms of the SS, that's such a tough situation. Sending hugs and that's good that your FI is standing up for you.
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| Posted: 2/9/2009 4:24:17 PM | |
| P: 2/10/2009 4:15:54 AM | |
redfaerythinker Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,259 Last Post: 11/19/2009 Member Since: 6/7/2007 |
OMG that suuuuuucks. If I were you I would be on the verge of ripping my hair out. I suggest some sort of vicious kickboxing or martial arts class to get out some of that stress. And you are totally not crazy, all that has happened has been totally not acceptable. But yay for having a supportive FI. HUGS and hopes that it gets better SOON. _____________________________________________________________________ |
| Posted: 2/10/2009 4:15:54 AM | |
| P: 2/10/2009 5:05:10 AM | |
Deelight Ideal Rock Total Posts: 5,093 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 10/4/2007 |
Man that bites I feel for you hun *BIG HUGS* Just in reference to the first point your travel agent stuffed up not you as far as I am concerned she and the company she works for can eat the cost not you, go over her head if need be to sort it out they should come around. So sorry your going through this
__________________________________________________________  Sometimes if your really lucky all your dreams do come true ............... |
| Posted: 2/10/2009 5:05:10 AM | |
| P: 2/10/2009 12:44:29 PM | |
SparklyLibra Ideal Rock Total Posts: 743 Last Post: 11/2/2009 Member Since: 8/17/2008 |
OMG WannaBMrsH! Sorry to hear of all the drama. I know it's hard, but just stand your ground with your FMIL and SS. In the end they may not like you, but they WILL respect you. You don't want to set a bad precident (sp) for her to think she can just bully you into doing things you don't want to do. Your wedding day is YOURS and not hers. She needs to go and sit down somewhere.... Sigh. I feel for you. (((((HUGS & DUST))))
~SL. |
| Posted: 2/10/2009 12:44:29 PM | |
| P: 2/10/2009 1:50:45 PM | |
luvinlife Cut Rock Total Posts: 139 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 6/18/2006 |
WannaB- I am sorry you having such a hard time! How old is SS? Could it be possible that this is someonething that he is hearing at home consistently? Unfortuantely, children are really permeable to negative influences(positive ones too, thank God)! Im NOT am saying that you are out a line. A child that calls me a spic and a ho3 has a heck of a lot to learn. Keep your chin up and don't let these inconsiderate people ruin YOUR day! Here's sending you a BIG hug! :) LL
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| Posted: 2/10/2009 1:50:45 PM | |
| P: 2/11/2009 1:46:49 AM | |
katamari Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,106 Last Post: 11/23/2009 Member Since: 5/18/2008 |
Date: 2/10/2009 5:05:10 AM Author: Deelight Man that bites I feel for you hun *BIG HUGS* Just in reference to the first point your travel agent stuffed up not you as far as I am concerned she and the company she works for can eat the cost not you, go over her head if need be to sort it out they should come around. So sorry your going through this Big ditto! I think with some stern direction, this becomes their problem and not yours. I would not even entertain the idea of incurring this much cost on someone else's error. As for the SS, he needs to be reprimanded immediately. Perhaps you can start calling him "Racist sexist" but the behavior cannot be tolerated for any reason.
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| Posted: 2/11/2009 1:46:49 AM | |
| P: 2/11/2009 10:29:37 PM | |
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wannaBMrsH Ideal Rock Total Posts: 659 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 9/27/2008 |
THANK YOU!!!!! I think you are all so amazingly supportive and I wish I could kiss each and every one of you!!!  Here is a brief update. SS (who is 16 BTW) is NOT attending our wedding. FI has told his mother that if she chooses to miss our wedding due to do his absence, she will be missed. Travel agent is working on getting a new location and a new date. President of the company called to apologize but explained that they really CAN'T take the hit for $300 x 30 people. He wasn't rude, in fact the opposite, but was very honest. Said that he understood if we wanted to go with a different company, that he would refund the full deposit, but they really are not in a position to comp us $9k. Offered to throw in some free services (coordinating a couple of other wedding related events such as a welcome reception or farewell event or a group excursion, etc.) FI and I think we will stay with them because they were at least upfront. Hopefully, I won't be stressed for much longer. (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) YOU GUYS ROCK!!!!! ~~~~~I know I'm yours, without fear or hesitation and without a doubt in my soul, I know I belong to you, I always have, I always will~~~~~ |
| Posted: 2/11/2009 10:29:37 PM | |
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