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 WWYD: Wedding Crashers

P:  1/28/2009 12:04:44 PM  
fiery
fiery

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I was watching What would you do? last night and one of the scenes revolved around wedding crashers.  I wanted to see what PSers would do.

So here's the scenario: You are a guest at a the wedding of a family member or good friend (or if you want, the bride/groom).  Two well dressed men enter the reception (leaving ceremony separate) and each have a gift for the newlyweds.  They are a little obnoxious but overall spend their time chatting with guests and getting everyone out on the dance floor.  They're starting conga lines, doing the electric slide, and just having a good time.

But something seems off.  Their stories don't make sense.  And as you talk to more people who mention these guys, you realize dun-dun-dun they're wedding crashers! What would you do?

Would you:
A) Take the approach that the bride and groom worked really hard and paid a log of money to get the wedding of their dreams and ensure their guests are comfortable.  They obviously paid a good price for the food and the alcohol.  These guys are stealing.  They are trespassing.  You would either tell the bride and groom, approach these guys and tell them to leave, or call the police (or any other variation).

Or

B) It's a party.  Love is in the air.  They aren't hurting anyone.  They just got your 90 year old great aunt Delores out on the dance floor.  The bride/groom are in their own world having a blast.  Everyone's having a good time.  And hey, at least they came properly dressed and brought a gift.


Posted:  1/28/2009 12:04:44 PM

 There are 29 replies to this message.  There are 29 replies on this page.

P: 1/28/2009 12:09:05 PM
purrfectpear
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Totally B.

1. They brought gifts so not totally freeloading.
2. I'm not the Bride or the Groom, so really none of my business.
3. They sound like more fun than quite a few of the other guests.

"Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say and not giving a damn." -Gore Vidal

Posted:  1/28/2009 12:09:05 PM
P: 1/28/2009 12:11:59 PM
Elmorton
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Depends on how obnoxious they were being. If they were bringing a lot of attention to themselves (thus they're what people would remember from Bride and Groom's wedding), probably A. If they're acting like anyone else at the event, then B.

Posted:  1/28/2009 12:11:59 PM
P: 1/28/2009 12:12:14 PM
neatfreak
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If they are kind and keeping the party going they aren't hurting anyone IMO! Let em stay!

If they were being rude and obnoxious and/or were totally wasted...my answer would reverse.

Posted:  1/28/2009 12:12:14 PM
P: 1/28/2009 12:15:14 PM
Italiahaircolor
Italiahaircolor

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We had wedding crashers...and they actually had a formal picture taken of themselves, LMAO, we bought it and put it in our album.  When my coordinator told me we had "crashers" I didn't care...at that point I was having such a wonderful time that calling the police and all that blah blah blah would have been a serious joy kill.  So they drank some alcohol and requested a few songs? Big deal. I just figured they knew a good party when they saw one and wanted in on the action!! Woohoo.

____________________________
Remember to keep your words soft and sweet...you may have to eat them someday.

Posted:  1/28/2009 12:15:14 PM
P: 1/28/2009 12:15:54 PM
misskitty
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I'd probably go with B. If they're making everyone else's night more fun, I wouldn't care enough about minor holes in their backstories to do any investigating about whether they belong or not.
The thing I've always wondered, though, is how people could pull this off at a reception with a seating chart. Where do the crashers sit?

Posted:  1/28/2009 12:15:54 PM
P: 1/28/2009 12:18:53 PM
cbs102
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just a quick question... how does one actually crash a wedding. i mean obviosuly the bride and groom do not know these people.. and what about dinner? can you crash a wedding with a sit down dinner and a pre set seating arrangement?
just curious

Posted:  1/28/2009 12:18:53 PM
P: 1/28/2009 12:20:05 PM
fiery
fiery

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Date: 1/28/2009 12:11:59 PM
Author: Elmorton
Depends on how obnoxious they were being. If they were bringing a lot of attention to themselves (thus they're what people would remember from Bride and Groom's wedding), probably A. If they're acting like anyone else at the event, then B.

I feel a mixture of this response and completely agree with Purrfect.

Unfortunately in the episode, these guys didn't get a chance to really play the drunk role because the men of the party (an uncle with one guy and the grooms friends with the other) started getting really agressive and asking them to leave. 

But during their time there they were dancing a lot, flirting with the girls, and the only real obnoxious thing they did was yell out "woo hoo" while the bride and groom were dancing their first song. 

I think though that I agree if they were extremely drunk and rowdy I'd probably have someone escort them out.

Posted:  1/28/2009 12:20:05 PM
P: 1/28/2009 12:20:10 PM
geckodani
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Date: 1/28/2009 12:09:05 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Totally B.

1. They brought gifts so not totally freeloading.
2. I'm not the Bride or the Groom, so really none of my business.
3. They sound like more fun than quite a few of the other guests.

Ditto! As long as they were not being overly obnoxious and were just having a good time, I wouldn't care.

ETA: Italiah - that is HILARIOUS!!!!








Run turkey, RUN!
(Little man in the avatar is my nephew.)

Posted:  1/28/2009 12:20:10 PM
P: 1/28/2009 12:20:42 PM
Bia
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Date: 1/28/2009 12:09:05 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Totally B.

1. They brought gifts so not totally freeloading.
2. I'm not the Bride or the Groom, so really none of my business.
3. They sound like more fun than quite a few of the other guests.

Hehehehe. Ditto!

Even if I were the bride I wouldn't care at this point. Hopefully I'll be having so much fun I'll only want to spread the love!

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it
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Posted:  1/28/2009 12:20:42 PM
P: 1/28/2009 12:21:47 PM
fiery
fiery

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Date: 1/28/2009 12:18:53 PM
Author: cbs102
just a quick question... how does one actually crash a wedding. i mean obviosuly the bride and groom do not know these people.. and what about dinner? can you crash a wedding with a sit down dinner and a pre set seating arrangement?
just curious

They made it seem really easy! It was pre set seating so one guy just sat in a random chair out in the hall way and the other found an empty seat LOL.

And the way they did it was every time they spoke to someone, they gave a very generic answer: we work in the same building, we go to the same boxing gym, we know each other from here in NY.

Funny side note: the ladies didn't seem to mind as these guys were pretty good looking

Posted:  1/28/2009 12:21:47 PM
P: 1/28/2009 12:25:16 PM
cbs102
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ok.. now that i am a little more clear on how it can ben done... i really have no idea how i would handle it. i would probably just let it go- and try to set the hotty wedding crasher up with my single bestfriend!

Posted:  1/28/2009 12:25:16 PM
P: 1/28/2009 12:43:07 PM
strmrdr
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A friend of mine crashed a wedding by mistake.
It was for a co-worker and he was just going to the reception after work as he had to do the grooms work and his also.
He shows up at the reception and didn't see anyone he know which was expected.
The bride and groom show up and it isn't his coworker.
He was one day early!
He tried to discreetly sneak out but was stopped out in the hall by an aunt and he admitted what happened when asked why he was leaving and she talked to the brides mother and he ended up staying as a blind date for someone that was there alone.
She went with him to the right reception the next day.
They ended up living together, I have lost touch with them so don't know if they got married.
This was 15+ years ago.

........... Karl has joined the diamond trade and is now posting as Karl_K

Posted:  1/28/2009 12:43:07 PM
P: 1/28/2009 12:48:42 PM
cbs102
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Date: 1/28/2009 12:43:07 PM
Author: strmrdr
A friend of mine crashed a wedding by mistake.
It was for a co-worker and he was just going to the reception after work as he had to do the grooms work and his also.
He shows up at the reception and didn't see anyone he know which was expected.
The bride and groom show up and it isn't his coworker.
He was one day early!
He tried to discreetly sneak out but was stopped out in the hall by an aunt and he admitted what happened when asked why he was leaving and she talked to the brides mother and he ended up staying as a blind date for someone that was there alone.
She went with him to the right reception the next day.
They ended up living together, I have lost touch with them so don't know if they got married.
This was 15+ years ago.

that would be frigon amazing if they got hitched!! i like that story!

Posted:  1/28/2009 12:48:42 PM
P: 1/28/2009 12:49:04 PM
tlh
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It depends... if it was someone else's party, and they are having a good time and encouraging others to do so... rock on.  If it were my wedding, I honestly was soo busy having polite conversation with complete strangers, I wouldn't have known if they were crashers! 

"I like smiling. Smiling's my favorite!" Will Ferrell ~ Elf

Posted:  1/28/2009 12:49:04 PM
P: 1/28/2009 12:50:40 PM
tlh
tlh

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Date: 1/28/2009 12:48:42 PM
Author: cbs102

Date: 1/28/2009 12:43:07 PM
Author: strmrdr
A friend of mine crashed a wedding by mistake.
It was for a co-worker and he was just going to the reception after work as he had to do the grooms work and his also.
He shows up at the reception and didn't see anyone he know which was expected.
The bride and groom show up and it isn't his coworker.
He was one day early!
He tried to discreetly sneak out but was stopped out in the hall by an aunt and he admitted what happened when asked why he was leaving and she talked to the brides mother and he ended up staying as a blind date for someone that was there alone.
She went with him to the right reception the next day.
They ended up living together, I have lost touch with them so don't know if they got married.
This was 15+ years ago.

that would be frigon amazing if they got hitched!! i like that story!
I LIKE THAT STORY!

"I like smiling. Smiling's my favorite!" Will Ferrell ~ Elf

Posted:  1/28/2009 12:50:40 PM
P: 1/28/2009 1:04:19 PM
Italiahaircolor
Italiahaircolor

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Date: 1/28/2009 12:43:07 PM
Author: strmrdr
A friend of mine crashed a wedding by mistake.
It was for a co-worker and he was just going to the reception after work as he had to do the grooms work and his also.
He shows up at the reception and didn't see anyone he know which was expected.
The bride and groom show up and it isn't his coworker.
He was one day early!
He tried to discreetly sneak out but was stopped out in the hall by an aunt and he admitted what happened when asked why he was leaving and she talked to the brides mother and he ended up staying as a blind date for someone that was there alone.
She went with him to the right reception the next day.
They ended up living together, I have lost touch with them so don't know if they got married.
This was 15+ years ago.

I love this story...so romantic...I hope they got married and went on to live happily ever after...what an amazing story.

____________________________
Remember to keep your words soft and sweet...you may have to eat them someday.

Posted:  1/28/2009 1:04:19 PM
P: 1/28/2009 1:08:21 PM
Sizzle
Sizzle

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Date: 1/28/2009 12:43:07 PM
Author: strmrdr
A friend of mine crashed a wedding by mistake.
It was for a co-worker and he was just going to the reception after work as he had to do the grooms work and his also.
He shows up at the reception and didn't see anyone he know which was expected.
The bride and groom show up and it isn't his coworker.
He was one day early!
He tried to discreetly sneak out but was stopped out in the hall by an aunt and he admitted what happened when asked why he was leaving and she talked to the brides mother and he ended up staying as a blind date for someone that was there alone.
She went with him to the right reception the next day.
They ended up living together, I have lost touch with them so don't know if they got married.
This was 15+ years ago.


I LOVE this story! Lets pretend they got married because WHAT an awesome wedding story!

*****************************
I'm sorry, we're you saying something, I was distracted by the Sparklie! -Sizzle

Posted:  1/28/2009 1:08:21 PM
P: 1/28/2009 1:09:05 PM
Sizzle
Sizzle

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I watched this last night too. I thought it was hilarious and I think the bride and groom are probably fun people!

*****************************
I'm sorry, we're you saying something, I was distracted by the Sparklie! -Sizzle

Posted:  1/28/2009 1:09:05 PM
P: 1/28/2009 1:47:47 PM
Kaleigh
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Date: 1/28/2009 12:20:10 PM
Author: geckodani

Date: 1/28/2009 12:09:05 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Totally B.

1. They brought gifts so not totally freeloading.
2. I'm not the Bride or the Groom, so really none of my business.
3. They sound like more fun than quite a few of the other guests.

Ditto! As long as they were not being overly obnoxious and were just having a good time, I wouldn't care.

ETA: Italiah - that is HILARIOUS!!!!
Ditto.

____________________________
Piece of cake and a candle.
**ng gift**

Posted:  1/28/2009 1:47:47 PM
P: 1/28/2009 2:00:51 PM
HollyS
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I'd have the wedding planner/venue manager/someone approach them and tell them they can either pay to stay, or they can go bye-bye.

Couldn't have happened at my own wedding; it was much too small.

_____________________________


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Posted:  1/28/2009 2:00:51 PM
P: 1/28/2009 2:31:43 PM
Kelli
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Cool story. I'd pick B if they were really keeping the party going and brought gifts. There'll probably be extra food anyway!

Posted:  1/28/2009 2:31:43 PM
P: 1/28/2009 3:25:01 PM
Porridge
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I gotta say I'm with B! If they are enjoying themselves that much they'll probably add to the whole thing!


Posted:  1/28/2009 3:25:01 PM
P: 1/28/2009 3:31:16 PM
honey22
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Sorry to be a party pooper but I would oust them. How do you know they are not leaving a wrapped empty box, and also the B & G have paid good money and possibly cut their guest list down and excluded family and friends so what gives these people the right to trespass into their wedding. It's not just a party, it's their wedding for pete's sake. I can't believe people would even do this.

If you had have asked me this question 6 months ago, my answer may have been different, but at our e-party a few months ago, one of my guests stole presents! I guess I am just more cyncial now, but if you can't trust your own family and friends, then I certainly wouldn't trust some gatecrashers. If they want to have a party, go to a club, don't crash someone's wedding!

Wedding Date Take 2: 26th November 2009!

Posted:  1/28/2009 3:31:16 PM
P: 1/28/2009 4:10:19 PM
strmrdr
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maybe I am strange but for my wedding I want to invite anyone that feels like showing up.
I will contact some clients and invite anyone who wants to come.
I plan on having an announcement put up at church that anyone is free to stop in.
We arent going to do a dinner however, just cake and punch.

........... Karl has joined the diamond trade and is now posting as Karl_K

Posted:  1/28/2009 4:10:19 PM
P: 1/28/2009 5:26:46 PM
bee*
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Date: 1/28/2009 4:10:19 PM
Author: strmrdr
maybe I am strange but for my wedding I want to invite anyone that feels like showing up.

I will contact some clients and invite anyone who wants to come.

I plan on having an announcement put up at church that anyone is free to stop in.

We arent going to do a dinner however, just cake and punch.



I like that idea. We're having quite a few people and if we had more money, I'd have lots more.

In terms of the question, I'm not sure how I'd feel. If they just crashed for the band and the dj part, then they can go ahead and dance the night away so long as they aren't bothering people. If they were eating all the food that I'd paid for though for my own guests, I think I'd be p/o.

Posted:  1/28/2009 5:26:46 PM
P: 1/28/2009 7:08:20 PM
musey
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Date: 1/28/2009 12:12:14 PM
Author: neatfreak
If they are kind and keeping the party going they aren't hurting anyone IMO! Let em stay!


If they were being rude and obnoxious and/or were totally wasted...my answer would reverse.

Yup. Totally depends on their demeanor.

Oh, and whether they came for dinner. At my wedding, we had a strict head count and were charged per person... I would've been peeved if anyone had shown up and forced us into paying the extra $120 or so for their presence.

Posted:  1/28/2009 7:08:20 PM
P: 1/28/2009 9:07:36 PM
diamondseeker2006
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Date: 1/28/2009 4:10:19 PM
Author: strmrdr
maybe I am strange but for my wedding I want to invite anyone that feels like showing up.
I will contact some clients and invite anyone who wants to come.
I plan on having an announcement put up at church that anyone is free to stop in.
We arent going to do a dinner however, just cake and punch.

Okay, Storm, that had better mean we are invited, too, huh???




~~~ When in doubt...don't.~~~

Posted:  1/28/2009 9:07:36 PM
P: 1/28/2009 9:38:02 PM
Blair138
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I feel like the situation you described Fiery might be OK, but as one poster said, how do you know the boxes aren't empty? I would feel like they were stealing too possibly, but if they were taking the seat of people who didn't come, you might as well have someone eat the food instead of paying for nothing!

On a personal note, at my uncle's wedding we did have crashers, they came in from the wedding across the hall because we had a HUGE dessert table and the wedding they were at didn't. I didn't even know we had crashers until the CHEF came stomping across the dance floor with 2 guys I had never seen before. It was quite comical, but not cool in my opinion because I didn't even get to eat any of the sweets and these 2 guys did!

Posted:  1/28/2009 9:38:02 PM
P: 1/28/2009 9:43:31 PM
Diamond*Dana
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As long as they are not being rude and complete trouble makers, sure....why not?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



If you judge people, you have no time to love them ~Mother Teresa








Posted:  1/28/2009 9:43:31 PM

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