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 Should mother's outfits match?

P:  1/16/2009 2:14:15 PM  
newbie124
newbie124

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I'm trying to help my mom decide on what to wear for the wedding. Originally I was concerned about finding something in a color that coordinates w/ the rest of the wedding, but I've seen a couple nice dresses that come in or look better in a different color than our wedding colors...Did anyone else put much thought/care into what their mothers wore?

Our wedding colors are yellows, brown, cream and blush.

My BMs are wearing espresso chiffon dresses. The GMs are wearing dark charcoal suits w/ probably brown ties.

Nordstroms has (this dress) in 4 colors: wine, plum, navy and brown. The brown looks kind of blah, though. I guess my 2nd "coordinating" choice would be the wine, but I personally think the navy or plum look best, but those really wouldn't coordinate at all.

Here's (another dress we liked, although I think it looks best in the blue or black.

How did other people or their mom's go about picking an outfit? Am I just thinking about this too much? (Not sure what FMIL has in mind, but she did say she was waiting to find out what my mom was going to wear so she could pick something to coordinate).
Posted:  1/16/2009 2:14:15 PM

 There are 17 replies to this message.  There are 17 replies on this page.

P: 1/16/2009 2:17:10 PM
Addy
Addy

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I didn't put much thought into anyone's outfit but my own.

My mother worked hard and tried several things out, returning what she didn't like. I can't tell you how many pieces she bought. My MIL pulled something out of her closet about 30 minutes a head of time and wore it. They both looked great. I think that both mothers should worry more about looking good in what they wear rather than coordinating with everyone else.

Posted:  1/16/2009 2:17:10 PM
P: 1/16/2009 2:42:12 PM
meresal
meresal

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From what I've been told... the MOB gets to choose long or short, and then the MOG wears the same. I think any color is fine as long as you are ok with them.

___________________________

I AM Mrs B... with Lil' B on the way!!!

Living life to the fullest...

Posted:  1/16/2009 2:42:12 PM
P: 1/16/2009 2:45:00 PM
violet02
violet02

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My MIL and Stepmom coordinated. But they did it in a really cool way. My stepmom wore mid-calf length light pink floral and my MIL wore floor length blue with floral. Considering my girls were pink and our guys were blue it worked out perfectly! They did shop together in the initial trying on phase to try and work something out. I sent them swatches of the ties and dresses to work off of.

Posted:  1/16/2009 2:45:00 PM
P: 1/16/2009 2:48:19 PM
AmberGretchen
AmberGretchen

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I really don't think they HAVE to match - as long as they don't clash I think its fine. Our wedding colors were burgundy and pale pink, and my girls wore black dresses. My mom wore a lovely silver dress with purple and pink undertones, and it looked stunning in the pictures

Posted:  1/16/2009 2:48:19 PM
P: 1/16/2009 3:00:23 PM
musey
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No, I don't think the mothers are ever expected to match. I'd imagine for the sake of photos they shouldn't clash horribly with anyone else, but other than that it doesn't really matter.

Our colors were burnt orange, gold and moss & sage greens (it was prettier than it sounds, it sounds kind of ugly if you're thinking of the crayons side-by-side). My mother wore burgundy and my MIL wore chocolate. MIL fit perfectly but my mom's burgundy looked slightly out-of-place.

Posted:  1/16/2009 3:00:23 PM
P: 1/16/2009 3:02:48 PM
brooklyngirl
brooklyngirl

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I don't think the mothers have to match.  It's hard enough finding something nice to wear without having to worry about who it matchs.  For my ivory/burgundy wedding my mother wore a plum gown, and MIL wore a royal blue gown.  The pics look just fine to me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bringing Brooklyn charm to California since 2008

Posted:  1/16/2009 3:02:48 PM
P: 1/16/2009 3:10:26 PM
Blair138
Blair138

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Traditionally the MOB gets to pick her dress first and the MOG should then pick one to compliment it. As for matching your colors, as long as it is not off the wall, really anything goes. That being said, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do!

Posted:  1/16/2009 3:10:26 PM
P: 1/16/2009 5:09:32 PM
EricaR
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I told my mom she could wear whatever she wanted, but that if it was too ugly I reserved the right to photoshop her out of the photos.

She was not amused! 

Posted:  1/16/2009 5:09:32 PM
P: 1/16/2009 5:51:36 PM
FrekeChild
FrekeChild

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Date: 1/16/2009 5:09:32 PM
Author: EricaR
I told my mom she could wear whatever she wanted, but that if it was too ugly I reserved the right to photoshop her out of the photos.

She was not amused!

Hahahahahaha!!!! That's hilarious!!

I am happy I don't have to worry about this. Seriously.

_______________________________ "Women are either goddesses or doormats." Pablo Picasso "In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane." Mark Twain

Posted:  1/16/2009 5:51:36 PM
P: 1/16/2009 6:07:12 PM
Elmorton
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My mom went with a color that was in the same range as my wedding colors (pastel). She got a swatch and showed it to DH's SM and M. My SMIL replied with "Oh, I already have my dress. It's teal - I hope it goes with your wedding" (bm dresses were aqua/tiffany blue, but SMIL's teal was very dark and actually looked really pretty with it. A couple mos before the wedding, my MIL and I were on the phone and she said she was stressed about buying an outfit since she's not a person who likes to get dressed up. She told me her size, and I went shopping for her. The first outfit I sent her she LOVED - it was a beige gauzy jacket top and chiffon pants (DH says he's never seen his mom in a skirt) - feminine and dressy but it also very subdued, and the most important part - pants. Apparently, she told everyone that it was the easiest shopping she's ever done. So the three mothers were mostly in the same palette.

I don't think mothers have to match, but it for some reason it bugs me when you see one mother in pastel blue tea length and the other in black or deep red floor length and sequins. I feel like they should both be dressed for the same season/event.

Posted:  1/16/2009 6:07:12 PM
P: 1/16/2009 10:34:42 PM
Winslet
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I don't know too much about coordinating dresses, but I've always heard that the MOG is "supposed" to wear blue, and that everyone attending the wedding should know that she's the MOG because she'll be the ONLY one wearing blue...at least that's what my FMIL always says anyway

Posted:  1/16/2009 10:34:42 PM
P: 1/17/2009 2:35:35 AM
redfaerythinker
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I know that tradition states that the MOG takes her cue from the MOB . But I really could care less what they wear. I just want them to look and feel good in what they're wearing. Although I draw the line at age inappropriate. My friend's mother wore a plunging neckline to her wedding. It was appalling. I mean it was cut below her boobs.

_____________________________________________________________________

Finally set a date! March 5, 2011

Megs

Posted:  1/17/2009 2:35:35 AM
P: 1/17/2009 5:27:03 AM
honey22
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I wouldn't stress too much over it honestly. As long as they don't terribly clash colours, it really doesn't matter if they are wearing the same length dresses etc. No one is really going to notice. I say wear what they feel comfortable and happy in and expresses their personality and tastes.

Wedding Date Take 2: 26th November 2009!

Posted:  1/17/2009 5:27:03 AM
P: 1/17/2009 11:48:12 AM
meresal
meresal

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Date: 1/17/2009 5:27:03 AM
Author: honey22
I wouldn't stress too much over it honestly. As long as they don't terribly clash colours, it really doesn't matter if they are wearing the same length dresses etc. No one is really going to notice. I say wear what they feel comfortable and happy in and expresses their personality and tastes.


This is just from my own personal experience, but I actually do think that some people notice. It is said to be very disrespectful not follow the MOB, in some groups. My Aunt told my grandmother they(MOB and MOG) were going to be wearing a short skirts for my cousins(the grandson/groom's wedding). We all show up for the wedding, Grandmother and MOB wearing short skirt, and Aunt was in a long flowing gown. The MOB and all of that side of the family was not pleased, not to mention my Grandmother still talks about it, and this wedding was in 2005.

Newbie- I think it's great that your FI's mom has said that she is waiting to see what your mom is going to do. Let us know what they find. I'm having a horrible time trying to find MOB/MOG dresses in our area. Best of luck!!

___________________________

I AM Mrs B... with Lil' B on the way!!!

Living life to the fullest...

Posted:  1/17/2009 11:48:12 AM
P: 1/17/2009 1:17:53 PM
bee*
bee*

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I doubt that they have to match. I don't mind what they wear so long as they're comfy and can dance the night away. I think that my mam is going to go for pink and I'm not sure what D's mam is going to go for.

Posted:  1/17/2009 1:17:53 PM
P: 1/17/2009 6:22:18 PM
AprilBaby
AprilBaby

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I will be mother of the groom Aug 1. The Mom of the bride and I will both wear black with color accents. She choose we both wear long since she doesn't like her legs. I am easy going and fine with anything they want. I LOVE the first dress you choose from Nordstom. VERY classy! My dress came from the sale rack at Von Maur and I got the deal of the century!

"Time is not what you think. Dying? Not the end of everything. We think it is. But what happens on earth is only the beginning." -Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Posted:  1/17/2009 6:22:18 PM
P: 1/18/2009 8:36:58 AM
Nocturnius
Nocturnius

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I didn't really think too hard about the mother's dresses.

I know I do wish MIL had chosen a different color, though, in hindsight.

Our colors were black, red and white. My bridesmaids were in black (with red sashes). My entire family insisted on making sure they din't wear all black so they didn't match the bridesmaids. My mom and sister wore red, and my oldest sister wore a black and white paisley/patterned sort of dress.

My GMIL wore red as well, and AIL wore something similar to my oldest sister - black and white combo. SILs all wore different colored dresses.

MIL, however, wore black. Not only did she wear black, but she wore a shape that looked just like the bridesmaid gowns. Now, I wasn't and am still not angry or anything silly over this. It's just that looking back on the pictures, I do think it would have looked better in photos for her to have worn something that wasn't solid black and SO similar to the bridesmaids.

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My knowledge of the human skull should concern you.

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So I'm not allowed to link to my OWN PHOTOS? Right. See you later, Pricescope.

Posted:  1/18/2009 8:36:58 AM

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