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Dress Code Question

P: 1/3/2009 4:01:50 PM
elrohwen Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,905 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 5/20/2008	I'm working on my wedding website so people have something to visit when they get their save the dates. I want to convey the dress code, but I'm not sure how to do it. Our wedding is pretty informal, I'll be wearing a tea length dress and the bridesmaids will have a knee length cotton dress, so nothing too fancy. I'm ok with men wearing a shirt and tie with no jacket, and nobody needs to wear a suit, and women shouldn't wear long evening dresses. What wording should I use to convey this? I thought "casual" would be enough, because I don't think anyone would take that to mean that jeans and a tshirt was ok. However, my mom thinks if I say "casual" people will show up as if it's a bbq. How about "wedding-casual"? Or "informal"? Any other ideas? ~Elrohwen
Posted: 1/3/2009 4:01:50 PM

There are 21 replies to this message. There are 21 replies on this page.

P: 1/3/2009 4:08:24 PM
luvthemstrawberries Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,912 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 6/19/2008	I think "informal" would convey that the best. This is pretty much the way mine is leaning right now, so this helps me too! I don't think "casual" would be a good way to put it unless you are having something like a bbq.
Posted: 1/3/2009 4:08:24 PM

P: 1/3/2009 4:08:31 PM
Guilty Pleasure Ideal Rock Total Posts: 640 Last Post: 9/8/2009 Member Since: 5/16/2008	I think that the time and place will be enough to convey the appropriate dress to your guests. Also, word of mouth works wonders.
Posted: 1/3/2009 4:08:31 PM

P: 1/3/2009 4:13:08 PM
mrowmrowsmom Rough Rock Total Posts: 88 Last Post: 9/28/2009 Member Since: 9/3/2008	I'm pretty sure you don't need to specify a dress code unless it's black or white tie. The style of your invitation, the time, and the place should be enough to let people know what to wear. Regardless, you will probably have people show up wearing a variety of things, from jeans to long dresses. At least, this is the case at almost all weddings I've been to. September 12, 2009
Posted: 1/3/2009 4:13:08 PM

P: 1/3/2009 4:14:28 PM
elrohwen Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,905 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 5/20/2008	Date: 1/3/2009 4:08:31 PM Author: Guilty Pleasure I think that the time and place will be enough to convey the appropriate dress to your guests. Also, word of mouth works wonders. I think typically word of mouth is great, but the problem is that the majority of our guests are out of town and scattered throughout the country, so there's really no word of mouth happening. I want to make it as clear as possible on the website for them so they feel like they know what's going on. It's an evening wedding so they could easily assume it's formal when it's really not and I would hate for people to get super dressed up and feel out of place. ~Elrohwen
Posted: 1/3/2009 4:14:28 PM

P: 1/3/2009 4:15:27 PM
elrohwen Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,905 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 5/20/2008	Thanks strawberries! I do have a lot of guy friends coming to this, so erring on the side of caution is probably best. Guys aren't very good with dress codes ~Elrohwen
Posted: 1/3/2009 4:15:27 PM

P: 1/3/2009 4:32:15 PM
Addy Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,915 Last Post: 11/18/2009 Member Since: 10/20/2007	We let the time of day, location, and style of invitation convey the attire for us.
Posted: 1/3/2009 4:32:15 PM

P: 1/3/2009 4:36:11 PM
neatfreak Ideal Rock Total Posts: 13,434 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 2/17/2007	Honestly, I think people can figure it out for themselves unless it's black tie.
Posted: 1/3/2009 4:36:11 PM

P: 1/3/2009 5:41:29 PM
elrohwen Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,905 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 5/20/2008	I guess most of you are right, people will figure it out., I just know that not a single person knows anything about the venue (even the locals haven't heard of it) and since it's in the evening, it could tend to the formal side, but in this case it's not. I also know that most of my friends are clueless when it comes to dressing (that's male engineers for ya) so I wanted to give them some help I know they'll have no idea whether to wear a suit or not and they won't think to ask me. I just want everyone to be as comfortable as possible. Thanks for the responses! ~Elrohwen
Posted: 1/3/2009 5:41:29 PM

P: 1/3/2009 11:50:12 PM
Gypsy Ideal Rock Total Posts: 14,306 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 8/9/2005	I would like to say that people will figure it out. For our wedding they did, but I have been to weddings where it was more casual and seen SHORTS and JEANS on the men. We spread the word that our dress code was "cocktail attire"... and while I would have put it on our wedding website, we only 20 hits on the freaking thing, so it would have been a waste of time anyway. I wouldn't use the word casual, I agree with your mom on that. I think it depends on your social circle. When I thought about it, I had seen all of our guests at weddings, and they were dressed appropriately, with some leaning to overdressed... not underdressed. That helped me let go. What are your guests like... are they generally overdressers, underdressers, or ... just right dressers ()
Posted: 1/3/2009 11:50:12 PM

P: 1/4/2009 12:21:06 AM
Elmorton Ideal Rock Total Posts: 3,744 Last Post: 11/19/2009 Member Since: 7/6/2007	For ours, the wedding was outside so we made some note about considering the outdoor location when choosing attire - so most people came in sundresses, short sleeved button downs and khakis, etc.
Posted: 1/4/2009 12:21:06 AM

P: 1/4/2009 12:53:23 AM
4ever Ideal Rock Total Posts: 622 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 12/10/2008	I think "informal" or "smart-casual" is best. "casual" is probably not the best idea, I once went to a beach wedding with a "casual" dress code and a good many of the weding photos will for ever have the grooms brother in shorts and a bright red lion red beer t-shirt in them. I don't think they ment THAT casual. ******************** Joined the LIW list at #124 on 15th Jan 2009....Still waiting
Posted: 1/4/2009 12:53:23 AM

P: 1/4/2009 1:48:40 AM
luvthemstrawberries Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,912 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 6/19/2008	Date: 1/3/2009 5:41:29 PM Author: elrohwen I guess most of you are right, people will figure it out., I just know that not a single person knows anything about the venue (even the locals haven't heard of it) and since it's in the evening, it could tend to the formal side, but in this case it's not. I also know that most of my friends are clueless when it comes to dressing (that's male engineers for ya) so I wanted to give them some help I know they'll have no idea whether to wear a suit or not and they won't think to ask me. I just want everyone to be as comfortable as possible. Thanks for the responses! Haha you are exactly right, most guys (at least the ones I know) do need help with dress codes! I'm actually an engineer myself, haha and I totally understand. My event is going to most likely be informal as well, and I know "casual" to some people I know would mean tshirts, while if I didn't specify anything I'd get some of my family showing up in sequins... Anyway, I don't think it can hurt a thing to mention it on your website! It's not like it's on the invitation. You are very considerate to make sure your guests are comfortable, and I think "informal" is very understandable.
Posted: 1/4/2009 1:48:40 AM

P: 1/4/2009 5:25:47 AM
noelwr Ideal Rock Total Posts: 589 Last Post: 11/17/2009 Member Since: 3/21/2008	hi, if you're really worried about these sort of things (like I am) just spell it out for them on your website what they should or should not wear. for men I said even though we'd love to see them in suit and tie, we want them to be comfortable, so dress shirt and slacks. no jeans, no t-shirts, no sneakers, no sandals. (this way if they come in suit or not, they'll feel ok.) for women I said dress, skirt & blouse or pants suit. no jeans, no t-shirts, no sneakers.
Posted: 1/4/2009 5:25:47 AM

P: 1/4/2009 7:37:47 AM
neatfreak Ideal Rock Total Posts: 13,434 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 2/17/2007	Date: 1/4/2009 5:25:47 AM Author: noelwr hi, if you're really worried about these sort of things (like I am) just spell it out for them on your website what they should or should not wear. for men I said even though we'd love to see them in suit and tie, we want them to be comfortable, so dress shirt and slacks. no jeans, no t-shirts, no sneakers, no sandals. (this way if they come in suit or not, they'll feel ok.) for women I said dress, skirt & blouse or pants suit. no jeans, no t-shirts, no sneakers. No offense, but we are dealing with adults here. I personally would be a bit offended if I was told exactly what I could and couldn't wear to a wedding... If you feel the need to specify go for it, but I don't think it's necessary to list off the exact garments that you want guests to wear.
Posted: 1/4/2009 7:37:47 AM

P: 1/4/2009 12:07:09 PM
Mediterranean Ideal Rock Total Posts: 578 Last Post: 6/3/2009 Member Since: 1/26/2008	According to Emily Post (ha ha! yeah, no, for real!) what you're aiming for is called "Semiformal Attire" unless your wedding is a"themed' event (beach theme, tea party theme, etc) in which case the dress code would be "Festive Attire." Apparently saying "Festive' vs. "Semiformal" is supposed to help (for example) guests of a beach-themed wedding to know not to show up in dark wool suits, they"ll theoretically choose linen suits. Who sits around thinking this stuff up, I wonder? Oh, well. There it is, FWIW.....
Posted: 1/4/2009 12:07:09 PM

P: 1/4/2009 1:20:51 PM
Travel Goddess Ideal Rock Total Posts: 624 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 7/2/2008	This thread reminded me of a cruise I was on and they kept saying the attire at dinner would need to be "casually elegant." Aka, cocktail dresses, sundresses, khakis, dress pants/no jacket or tie. It also made it plainly clear that shorts or jeans would not be allowed. So that's probably the wording I'd use.
Posted: 1/4/2009 1:20:51 PM

P: 1/4/2009 3:33:56 PM
elrohwen Ideal Rock Total Posts: 1,905 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 5/20/2008	Mediterranean and Iowa Lizzy, those are both great ideas! Thanks ~Elrohwen
Posted: 1/4/2009 3:33:56 PM

P: 1/4/2009 4:19:49 PM
bee* Ideal Rock Total Posts: 11,094 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 5/14/2006	I think informal sounds right for that. Otherwise as others suggest, they will probably figure it out.
Posted: 1/4/2009 4:19:49 PM

P: 1/5/2009 8:08:34 PM
katamari Ideal Rock Total Posts: 2,080 Last Post: 11/16/2009 Member Since: 5/18/2008	I, honestly, would interpret "informal" and "casual" dress to mean the same thing, which would be casual. I honestly think that "business casual" would be the best phrase. It may not be wedding etiquette lingo, but it is something that everyone will understand and have your guests dressed the way you want.
Posted: 1/5/2009 8:08:34 PM

P: 1/5/2009 8:24:12 PM
Inanna Cut Rock Total Posts: 468 Last Post: 11/4/2009 Member Since: 9/14/2008	Here is a list of "dress code" terminology for parties/weddings: http://fashion.about.com/cs/glossary/a/partydefinition.htm. It sounds as though what you're going for is "Dressy-casual" although I also like the term "Elegant Casual" as Iowa Lizzy suggested. Personally, I think it's a good idea that you make some clarification of the dress code - most people are familiar with these terms and expect some type of subtle indication (at least I do, and I appreciate it). For example, most weddings I've been to have noted Cocktail attire, black-tie optional, or dressy-casual on the wedding invitation or couple's website.
Posted: 1/5/2009 8:24:12 PM

P: 1/6/2009 12:23:54 AM
sunnyd Ideal Rock Total Posts: 4,508 Last Post: 11/20/2009 Member Since: 11/5/2007	Date: 1/5/2009 8:24:12 PM Author: Inanna Here is a list of 'dress code' terminology for parties/weddings: http://fashion.about.com/cs/glossary/a/partydefinition.htm. It sounds as though what you're going for is 'Dressy-casual' although I also like the term 'Elegant Casual' as Iowa Lizzy suggested. Personally, I think it's a good idea that you make some clarification of the dress code - most people are familiar with these terms and expect some type of subtle indication (at least I do, and I appreciate it). For example, most weddings I've been to have noted Cocktail attire, black-tie optional, or dressy-casual on the wedding invitation or couple's website. LOL, you could link to the website! I thought business casual too.
Posted: 1/6/2009 12:23:54 AM

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