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Advice needed....

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AndrewinNYC

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I doubt anyone here can give me advice on my girlfriend''s tastes, but consider this "processing aloud" and anyone can opine if they see fit :) My girlfriend and I have settled on bands and rings. Although she doesn''t know it (or, probably pretending not to know it for my sake) we are going to get engaged on a trip to Vietnam in December and January. With the help of several people here, we''ve found a Ritani wedding band and matching engagement ring with a very subtle pave bead setting. She does not like the look of plain metal on her hand. For financial reasons (she''s the pragmatic one and is likely to agree with my thinking) and for safety reasons (not wanting to travel with an expensive ring), I was thinking of proposing with a minimalist band of platinum (2mm). I work in finance and am not likely to know how I stand financially here for a little while and don''t want to "get out over my ski tips" buying her engagement ring and band for the trip when a month and half later I''m likely to be able to do so without the same risk. My thinking is that she can wear the band for a couple of months and then we can do something else with it. Maybe she can wear it alongside her actual engagement ring and band when she gets them. She can have a sweet story of that being a separate ring because that is the ring that I proposed to her with in Vietnam. The only thing holding me back is that she doesn''t love the look of plain metal on her hand. She is very subtle in her jewelry and has even said to me that while things are hairy in the financial world, she doesn''t even need a ring. She certainly isn''t very picky or need a lot of "bling", but I want her to be happy. I realize that this is a tough one to give advice on, but thoughts?

Thanks for listening :)
 

Lorelei

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Hi Andrew,

What sort of budget do you propose for this initial ring?
 

AndrewinNYC

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This initial ring would just be a plain band of 2mm. So IIRC they are around for $400-750 depending on different variables. (Lorelei, you were one of the ones that helped me find the Ritani rings, so thanks :) )
 

AndrewinNYC

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The other option would be to buy the wedding band she likes and propose with that. It wouldn''t be so expensive as to make me uncomfortable (financially and traveling).
 

mommy2iz

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hi andrew! just my 2 cents.....my friend was just proposed to with a plain platinum band, and she is more than thrilled with it. neither of them could decide on an engagement ring, but want to move forward with wedding planning, etc. they continue to search for their "perfect" rings. i think your solution is completely acceptable, as long as both parties are on the same page. my friend doesn''t mind, and in fact treasures the plain band, but she does say she gets tired of explaining that this ring is temporary.
good luck to you!
 

gladyskristen

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Hi Andrew!

Since ur lady doesn''t like the look of metal, how about getting her a white gold eternity/half-eternity band that''s thick enough to be worn as a RHR in the future? I''m not sure if she''s allergic to white gold, but I believe WF uses palladium white gold (u can check), which makes it a non-issue.

These 2 r within/close to ur budget:

0.25ctw WF 4.2mm Bead Set Half Eternity - $675

0.25ctw WF 3.2mm 5-stone band - $785


All these prices are before bankwire discount. I think you get around $10 off for paying by bankwire. Good luck!
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anyname

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if i may suggest something different; my fiance proposed with earrings. I don''t know if it''s something you want to consider since you said she doesn''t like how metal looks on her finger.
 

mrssalvo

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Date: 9/30/2008 11:25:44 AM
Author: AndrewinNYC
The other option would be to buy the wedding band she likes and propose with that. It wouldn't be so expensive as to make me uncomfortable (financially and traveling).

I'd go this route.
 

Diamond*Dana

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Date: 9/30/2008 9:07:03 PM
Author: mrssalvo

Date: 9/30/2008 11:25:44 AM
Author: AndrewinNYC
The other option would be to buy the wedding band she likes and propose with that. It wouldn''t be so expensive as to make me uncomfortable (financially and traveling).

I''d go this route.
This is what I would suggest as well. That way once you can afford to buy the matching e-ring, if that is what you are planning on, it would make a lovely set. And you can always buy a plain 2mm band for the actual wedding ceremony...then she would have a lovely set of THREE rings
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ilovethiswebsite

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I agree with the others - considering she already likes the ritani pave i would get her the band from that set (i think it''s about 1500 in white gold).

Another option would be to wait and propose when you get the ring? OR maybe get the band but put a CZ in it for now? I guess that wouldn''t really help the safety issues while traveling around in Vietnam huh... hmmmm. that''s a tough one...
 

MishB

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Date: 9/30/2008 11:25:44 AM
Author: AndrewinNYC
The other option would be to buy the wedding band she likes and propose with that. It wouldn''t be so expensive as to make me uncomfortable (financially and traveling).
I (personally) wouldn''t be comfortable with wearing the ring that was intended to be my wedding band, until my husband put it on my finger during the ceremony. Just my personal opinion, though.

How about a thinner diamond set band that she can wear on her right hand later, as the basis for a collection of stacking rings (have you been warned about those??) I found some examples, but it won''t let me post the links. You can get them at all price points, and even one with diamonds and her birthstone maybe.
 

AndrewinNYC

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Okay, here's is what I processed through last night. I agree with the idea that proposing with the band that is to be the wedding band is something that I am not comfortable with. What about a really thin eternity bead set band, which would be combined with a another for a wedding band? So she could have one thin eternity band on each side of her engagement ring, or two thin ones on one side. That way a) she gets something sparkly in Vietnam,b) she isn't being proposed to with her wedding band c) I'm not out an uncomfortable amount of cash during the financial meltdown I work in d) it isn't *that* big of an item to travel with. Are there any really thin bands similar to the Ritani endless love bands? Do they make 1mm-1.5mm eternity bead set bands? I've seen a couple that have milgrain, which I love, but she doesn't. Thanks for allt he help, I wish that more message boards were as helpful (and positive) as you folks!

Mish, I just read your post more carefully. The thin rings with diamonds is what I'm thinking, what do I need to be warned about?
 

gladyskristen

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Oooo!! I love the double band idea! I've always loved the one-band-on-each-side look, but I feel weird about having 2 wedding bands instead of 1. This is perfect! Now she'll have a proposal band, actual e-ring and wedding band!
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I feel that if you wanna go that thin, Ritani is your safe option. WF has a 1.5mm band too. If you want the wedding band to match the proposal band, you'll probably have to get 2 of same thing. The WF one won't be an exact match for the ritani endless love e-ring, but IMO they will look good together. From what I know, the shared-prong design will make for a lower maintenance ring. There'll also be no concern about prongs rubbing, cos this ring has a totally flat profile.



WF 1.5mm Half-Eternity Band - $595
 

gladyskristen

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About thin bands, I''ve read that for eternity-style e-rings below 2mm, there might be problems with the integrity of the setting, cos there''s very little metal holding it up. But so far, I don''t think anyone has had problems with the Ritani Endless Love. I think wedding bands (no centre stone) are much less of an issue, so the WF one should hold up just fine too.
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purrfectpear

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The "warning" is only that we women tend to collect those thin little bands. You could be starting something on going
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AndrewinNYC

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Thanks for the advice. Now I just need to find 1.5-2mm bead set eternity bands! I''m looking at the Ritani endless love, but actually wouldn''t mind something that didn''t match perfectly. Any links anyone can provide for ideas would be appreciated. As a caveat, she tends not to like stuff that shows the diamonds too much, shows the metal too much, and she doesn''t like milgrain. Which is why she liked the ritani, but I''m curious if there''s others out there like it.
 

gladyskristen

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I posted a link above for a 1.5mm eternity band. It''s a shared-prong design though...
 

Cleopatra

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What about getting a matching band (to match the wedding band) so that she can wear all three (on each side of the engagement ring) - I know lots of people, myself included, wear and love this look. Just antoher suggestions
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Congratulations on the future engagement!
 

AndrewinNYC

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GladysKristen. Thanks for the link. I love the shared prong. Hoever, my better half does not. I''m leaning towards just getting the Ritani I already know she likes. I just wish there was a way to be unique with the first band so as to stand out from the wedding band. Problem is that her taste has me painted into a small corner of choices.
 

Cleopatra

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I tell my wedding band apart from my "extra" band by the engraving that we put inside the band - it''s really not a hassle to just glance quickly - i do it every day. Just a suggestion
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Diamond*Dana

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Date: 10/1/2008 1:27:46 PM
Author: Cleopatra
I tell my wedding band apart from my ''extra'' band by the engraving that we put inside the band - it''s really not a hassle to just glance quickly - i do it every day. Just a suggestion
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I was going to suggest to have them engraved on the inside. My DH and I have our wedding bands engraved, and you could always have the e-ring band engraved with the date you propose.

You may not mind that the bands don''t match perfectly, but she might. And since you already know that she likes the Ritani then that would probably be your best choice.

Good luck!
 

gladyskristen

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Since she loves the Ritani best, it''s probably better to just for it. I think the engraving is a great idea! That way, she''ll never forget all the special dates!
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Maverick315

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You could always propose with a gemstone ring...that way it can easily be worn as a RHR later. Aquamarines are traditionally acceptable as an engagement ring, or a sapphire. In white gold, you could easily find a beautiful piece for under $500.
 

Clairitek

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Does the band HAVE to be platinum? Would you be open to a white gold ring? I found a few thing eternity bands on Blue Nile that are within your budget but are white gold.

Also, are you opposed to something that is billed as pave and not bead set? I feel that when it is in an eternity band they are pretty much the same. Here is a PS thread explaining the difference.

Anywho- here are some things that I dug up for you in case you decide that pave and white gold are OK and you don''t want to double up on the Ritani wedding band.

Blue Nile Pave Eternity Band 1

Blue Nile Pave Eternity Band 2

James Allen White Gold Pave Band- 2.1 mm width

Thats all I have for now. Let us know what you choose!
 

AndrewinNYC

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Yes, she wanted platinum. My budget is bigger than I mentioned earlier, I thought that I was being asked about my budget for the plain band, so I said $700 or so. Anything around $2K for the "Vietnam engagement band" is fine. My dilemma is now that the Ritani Endless Love doesn''t have a solid inside, so it cannot be inscribed. Anyone know of any rings that look *like* the Ritani endless love? The bead set platinum in 1.5mm to 2.0mm?
 
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