what to do with regret?

[dischordian]

hey guys, i ordered my e-ring recently. the diamond has a small crystal on the table that can be visible to the eye if you look hard enough. when it was in the temporary setting, the crystal was even harder to find, but i was still able to see it after staring at it for a minute or so. despite the eye-uncleanliness, i still bought it because i wanted to get the ring sooner than later and i got a good price.

however, after dwelling on it for a while, i'm starting to regret not going for an eye clean diamond because i'm afraid that my gf might be able to see it. however, since i haven't picked it up yet, i'm not sure how it'll look in the setting.

i think i'm mostly seeking some comfort, but also advice on what i can do. what would you do?

 

[Regular Guy]

For what you want to hear, I think you're asking the wrong crowd.

Back to basics, and forgetting embarrassment and inconvenience, what can you do?

Can you say you changed your mind, and keep shopping, with little or no consequence?

Do look at it with a fresh view in the new setting.

Maybe you won't notice this thing.

If you do...chances are...you can take a fresh start.

Sorry, but it's probably true.

As some smart guys have said before me...hold yourself as the principle judge.

 

[Lorelei]

Welcome!

Firstly, as you haven''t picked the ring up yet, can you exchange the diamond, or look elsewhere?

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 1/15/2008 1:33:06 PM
Author: Lorelei
Welcome!

Firstly, as you haven''t picked the ring up yet, can you exchange the diamond, or look elsewhere?

Ditto. If you aren''t comfortable with this stone, keep looking.

 

[Beacon]

If it''s bothering you, return it.

The ering is something that will be around for a long time and you should be satisfied with it and proud of it. Feeling uneasy after a major purchase is normal, but if you think this ring is going to bother you for years to come, change it. That simple.

 

[surfgirl]

If you can return it, return it. Buying a stone just to get one by a certain time isn't a good enough reason to buy any stone!

ETA: You know, you dont need a ring to propose...

 

[oldminer]

If you have regrets, then make every effort to select a different diamond. Many consumers have diamonds with far more eye visible problems than what you have described. The vast majority of engagement diamonds are low clarity ones with readily seen inclusions. THis doesn''t keepo people from buying them, showing them to friends and enjoying them. It may be a problem for you, and that''s enough to say that you are the one to decide.

I had a diamond in a ring I wore for 20 years that had a visible black spot under the table. No one ever mentioned that they noticed the spot and I sort of think no one actually ever looked closely like I had done to see it. The diamond will be important to you and especially important to the person wearing it. Everyone else will take a look, generally say its pretty, and go back to minding their own business. A close friend or two may give it a closer examination, but that''s probably about it.

 

[pauly1]

Date: 1/15/2008 1:21:18 PM
Author:dischordian
hey guys, i ordered my e-ring recently. the diamond has a small crystal on the table that can be visible to the eye if you look hard enough. when it was in the temporary setting, the crystal was even harder to find, but i was still able to see it after staring at it for a minute or so. despite the eye-uncleanliness, i still bought it because i wanted to get the ring sooner than later and i got a good price.

however, after dwelling on it for a while, i''m starting to regret not going for an eye clean diamond because i''m afraid that my gf might be able to see it. however, since i haven''t picked it up yet, i''m not sure how it''ll look in the setting.

i think i''m mostly seeking some comfort, but also advice on what i can do. what would you do?

Tough call. I can relate to a certain extent. If you have done any research on this board you will know that the definition of eye clean can be pretty vague. First off, what''s your girlfriend like when it comes to diamonds and her engagement ring? Did she have the stone, color, cut, etc, mapped out from day 1? Does she read boards like this religiously and know all the little nuances of diamonds? If the answer is yes, then I would venture to guess that she will find the inclusion because “she wants to”!

My girlfriend on the other hand uses statements like "Ooo it''s sparkly", and "I like the one that''s more square than round"

(I''m exaggerating, but you get the point) So combine that with the fact that she has a 3.5 size finger (anything over 1ct will look huge), a very limited diamond education and you have every guys dream.

Anyway, back to my point. I bought an SI2 and if I have the stone in the perfect light, at the perfect angle, and look hard enough I can just barely see the feather. I also know where it is, which helps a lot. Point being, it doesn''t bother me and I would be very surprised if she ever picked up on it. Even if she did, I don''t think it would be an issue. Take that for what it''s worth. Good luck !

-Paul

 

[nolimits]

How much time has expired since the initial purchase? What is the return policy of the store where you purchased the stone? Is the store you purchased from the same store transferring the stone from the temp setting to the permanent setting?

Even if you are beyond the normal return period, I imagine the store will work with you to swap out to a stone you are more pleased with especially if they''ve had it in their possession most (or all) the time, there is no damage and you still have the lab cert.

Most places offer a lifetime diamond guarantee. Details vary, but I was reading on Good Old Gold the other night and if you decide to trade in your ring and upgrade by as little as $500 they give you full purchase price as "trade-in" value. But I''ve seen alot of stores require a 50% or 100% price upgrade to honor that as well.

Regardless I think you have to be happy with your purchase. Even though she wears it everyday, you will have to live with it as well and you want to be completely happy, especially considering this isn''t a cheap jewelry purchase.

 

[LGK]

I do think a lot depends on your girlfriend here. Yeah, if she''s the sort that knows a lot about diamonds, has been researching them and getting really involved, then you might want to try to exchange the stone. But if she is like 90% of most people, she''s just going to be thrilled with whatever you give her and not likely ever notice the crystal or care if she does. And like oldminer said, people do not examine other people''s erings closely unless it''s close friends or family- and then it''s just once usually!

Here''s an example. I work at a place that sells estate jewelry, and I wear a decent amount of it to work usually. I have one ring that is a gorgeous Edwardian filigree ring, but the stone is BUTT UGLY! But the setting is beautiful and it is one of my rings that I consistently get the most compliments on. And when I say the diamond is ugly, I am not exaggerating- it is cut like someone just took a sledgehammer to the rough and said "Good enough!", and it is just one large crystal meshed with a black inclusion, probably 1/3 carat.

If it is not exchangeable, set it in something phenomenal and NOBODY will notice the crystal. Promise!

What''s that? You don''t believe my stone is as ugly as I say it is? Here''s a pic of my pet frozen monkey spit ring. Any black bits that look like contrast from faceting is actually black carbon, and same with the white- not reflections off facets but feathering

But I loooove the setting, so I care not at all. (And of course it''s bezel set so it must be enjoyed for what it is- and obviously someone else wore this for a lifetime as-is, judging by the wear on the engraving.)

 

[Odilia]

Date: 1/15/2008 1:38:41 PM
Author: Beacon
If it''s bothering you, return it.

The ering is something that will be around for a long time and you should be satisfied with it and proud of it. Feeling uneasy after a major purchase is normal, but if you think this ring is going to bother you for years to come, change it. That simple.

Ditto.

 

[dischordian]

i still feel extremely nerve-wracked. worse than yesterday. i guess i''ll just have to make my decision when i see it today. hopefully i won''t be able to see that inclusion.

my gf isn''t one that knows much about diamonds, so hopefully the sparkle will hide the little white speck.

 

[MustangGal]

Don''t point it out to her, and she if she notices it on her own.