palladium/platinum e-ring... what now?

Greetings, forum. This is my first post, and I intend it to be thorough!

After a month of research, I decided I wanted a palladium ring (for its strength and impending darkness) with a setting based (on a picture) of a rhinestone costume jewelry piece my friend has always worn (and I''d always been envious of). I also knew I wanted colored gemstones or diamonds.

Then I set about finding a jeweler. After a small poll on a blogging community for Portlanders, as well as some in-person meetings at about five different independent storefronts, I narrowed my choice down to two jewelers: David Frank (Charms and Amulets of the 21st Century, davidfrank.com) and Jones & Jones Jewelers (jonesandjonesjewelers.com). David and Tom were both nerdy craftsman who had been in the business about 40 years, spent a lot of time talking to me, and both did excellent custom design work. In the end, however, I chose Jones because he got my diamonds in faster and seemed more excited about other forms of fabrication, like wireworking, than pushing the laser-welding point. In addition, Jones is also an Eight-Star diamond dealer, and I think he''s the only one in Portland. I can''t afford Eight Star diamonds, but they''re pretty picky about who they let distribute their stones, so I knew I''d be in good hands.

And I was, and I am. I think. Jones seemed really communicative at first (I''m a Communications scholar, currently working on my Master''s Degree in LIS). He talked to my fiancee and I for hours about what we wanted, and didn''t seem too worried about anything or annoyed at how I can''t communicate visual images with words. And he found me eight great cognac diamonds (though I didn''t realize until today that I never asked about certification); two .44 carat diamonds, and three other pairs probably measuring .20, .15, and .10, or something like that. Exactly what I wanted!

But then we''d come in again and he would seem to have no recollection of the things we''d discussed previously, like that I wanted palladium (950 parts), and not white gold. And he seemed to forget my design preferences rather easily, which exhausted me. And every time I tried to get him to understand what I was saying, he would think I had some fundamental issue of not understanding how jewelry works, so he repeated himself a lot, but without realizing what I meant or answering my questions, and getting irritated at the time because he had to repeat himself (or so he decided). He told us he was going to make some drawings, and then just ended up fabricating the ring we''d talked about and called us up one day, but I wasn''t prepared for that...and while I loved the ring, it wasn''t enough like what I was looking for, so I asked him to do it again. Then he made a crude mock-up of the laser-welded heads, which I liked very much, so I asked him to do it in palladium just the same way. He did (with a palladium shank and platinum heads), and a week later I had a wonderful engagement ring (albeit with a crooked prong that needs to be fixed. Won''t that cause a stone to fall out? I can''t tell without a magnifying glass) that is everything I dreamed of. The heads are gorgeous, they look like queen''s crowns, the color of the metals is immaculate, and the diamonds are sparkling off in every direction.

So yes. Now we get into the questions, and please only answer these if you truly know the answer(s).

I read on here that palladium is $200/oz., but the palladium for my ring ended up costing something like $700 for a plain, thin shank. Is that normal? Whatever, that is the least of my questions. Anyway, it seems like the platinum heads could have eaten up what I would have paid for the palladium in the 1st fabrication. I may have just answered my own question, but I want to be sure.

I also read on here quite a lot of conflicting information regarding palladium and platinum, as in, palladium is stronger, no platinum is stronger, no palladium is better for heads, no platinum. Which is it? Pick ONE. Or, pick both, but explain specifically what makes platinum superior in one way and palladium superior in another.

And, is it normal for someone who has been in the business for "37 years" to treat me like I''m annoying when I start getting picky, because...well... I''m spending $4000 on an engagement ring, and I want it to be perfect, just how I wanted, and to last forever? And by the way, I choose businesses that are small and specialized all the time, on purpose, even though I usually end up paying more. I want to support these people because I like them, that''s one reason I''m getting my wedding bands done at David Frank. I just liked the guy, and I want to give him my business because he''s a rarity and he deserves it. So, I never treat the people I''m working with badly, even as a customer. I just hate the thought that I''m going to be working with this guy (Jones) on this ring until I move too far away to use him anymore (for cleanings and repairs), and he''s always going to treat me this way, and I''m always going to have to put up with it because I don''t want him having an incentive to mar my ring! And it''s all due to his lack of competent communication in the first place that he had to make me a 2nd fabrication.

And is it normal to have uncertified diamonds? Does it matter?

And how do I get this appraised? I looked around, and I found one appraiser I liked from their online profile, but apparently anyone can be an appraiser! And I''ve read some hefty beefs against the appraising market in recent times, some of those beefs specifically with local, independent dealers.

Also, when Jones went back and made up new forms for my ring (one for me, one for insurance, both with picture and description) he left the price the same as he had had it for the first fabrication. Is that normal? Was it just super-nice of him not to charge me more? Was he being lazy?

And lastly, how should I clean palladium? What should I avoid?

And, does anyone use a non-ammonia solution that works well for diamond rings before running them through a steam-clean?

Oh, and I have a shoddy picture from my cell phone. I''d get a better digital photo because I''d really like to show it off (and you all are so excitable!), but I also don''t want it to be copied By the way, why won''t this forum let me post to the photo gallery?

Oh, oh, oh! And I really don''t want to get a wedding band that has to wrap around my engagement ring, or be welded to it to avoid the rings rubbing on each other. Has anyone had any experience with a rubber ring in-between, or maybe anything else that they''ve found works to keep the rings separate? I hate the idea of taking off my wedding ring if I have to take my engagement ring off. My hand would be so naked!

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