One in Six Women Disappointed with their Engagement Ring

[BlingObsession]

Guess their partners never heard of Pricescope ...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...n-instantly-disappointed-engagement-ring.html

 

[WillyDiamond]

Maybe it was the ugly box the ring came in (as pictured)!

 

[dk168]

I chose my own rings and other jewellery, therefore, never an issue for me.

DK

 

[missy]

I am actually surprised this number is not higher.

 

[kenny]

Why don't more women insist on more input?

This fantasy of 'Since he loves me he'll just know what I want' has to go.

And for the men who get the input but don't listen ...

 

[cflutist]

Dear hubby proposed without an e-ring at the Shadowbrook restaurant in Santa Cruz CA.
With my background he didn't even try to surprise me.
I was SO excited that he finally proposed that I just moved my 2.05 D-VS2 oval RHR to my left hand until
we got the pear about 2 weeks later.

 

[Calliecake]

I am actually surprised this number is not higher.

Thank You Missy, I just said the same thing to my husband and he agreed. If it really was the man who picked out the ring I would have guessed it would have been 5 out of 6 women were disappointed.

This is why I'm a believer in picking out an engagement ring together. I think it's the only sure way for a woman to love her ring.

 

[momhappy]

I am actually surprised this number is not higher.

Me too.
I absolutely adore my e-ring, but I'd be lying if I said that some part of it was not disappointing simply because much like most couples, we worked within a certain budget. If I had no budget, then that means that I would have chosen a larger diamond, which naturally translates into some level of disappointment with my current e-ring, despite the fact that I am overall pretty satisfied with it.

 

[lambskin]

Even before we even thought of getting engaged, my hubby knew not to pick out the ring. Our friends kept getting engaged and I would comment how I either liked (but mostly did not like) their rings and I could tell when it was a 'surprise ring' rather than one jointly decided upon. My husband picked out only one piece of jewelry for me-a quarter carat solitaire pendant- and I told him how nice it was but don't pick out jewelry for me again. I could have gotten a better and bigger stone but that pendant is still sentimentally one of my favorite pieces.

 

[pyramid]

Notice it is Daily Mail in the UK, over here most couples pick out the ring together. I would think probably because
styles change and people here don't usually upgrade or because if young has less money. I notice after a lot of years, lots
just don't wear their engagement rings anymore, maybe they don't fit. A lot of middle aged women just wear a band or a
new diamond band.

 

[pyramid]

I don't know of anyone in the UK who was proposed to with a ring that they did not pick out.

 

[arkieb1]

I am surprised it isn't closer to 50% or half of all women.

 

[TC1987]

I don't know why men (or women, because same-sex marriages are legal now) would even think they could pick the "correct' ring for a partner without getting some input from the partner. Ignoring greed and materialism and selfishness and all of the other negative attributes that the reader's comments section addressed, just look at all of the variety of combinations of diamonds and settings. The amount of choice available nowadays is mind boggling!

Keep the proposal a surprise, if you must. But don't make a unilateral decision on a ring, is my advice. There are just too many variables to trip you up.

 

[momhappy]

But it's more than just who picked out the ring. Even women who pick out their own ring (or couples that pick out the ring together) still probably work within a budget. My DH and I picked out my ring together, but if we had absolutely no budget, my choice would have been different and to me, that translates into a certain level of disappointment with your ring.

 

[denverappraiser]

I am actually surprised this number is not higher.

One in three women won't tell this to a reporter.

 

[RosieR]

I don't know of anyone in the UK who was proposed to with a ring that they did not pick out.

I was

 

[mochiko42]

My DH didn't know there was such a thing as an ering... He thought it was the same thing as a wedding ring and couldn't understand why I wanted "two rings" needless to say I have chosen all my bling by myself, except our wedding bands which we chose together. It's more cost effective and time effective this way lol

 

[Tourmaline]

When my husband was my boyfriend, we had a significant argument about the engagement ring. He was of the "it's the thought that counts" camp, and I was not. I won the argument, and picked what I wanted, and then changed my mind over the years. So it all worked out.

 

[Calliecake]

I am actually surprised this number is not higher.

One in three women won't tell this to a reporter.

So true!

 

[AprilBaby]

I'm guessing most men go to the mall for the ring. I would agree, I think the number of unhappy women is higher.

 

[SandyinAnaheim]

Like lambskin, my better half knew better than to pick out a ring for me. Being particular is just one of the things we have in common.

He ordered a SS CZ from Amazon for $20 for the proposal, and then told me the budget he had in mind, which quadrupled in short order. We're both over the moon with my set. Can barely wait to get married in November so I can wear my band along with my ering!

Sadly, he wants a plain white gold band with no diamonds, milgrain, designs - nada. So depressing that he won't let me buy him some bling so I can admire mine AND his..... I had visions of getting him a ring like Kenny's within my budget, but he said he would never wear it if I did.

 

[Circe]

It's faintly depressing, isn't it? One has to wonder what drives this phenomenon, where surprising a woman - and, seriously, should it be a surprise, a decision that the dude gets to ponder & the lady has to decide in the split-second after the proposal, on-the-spot - is somehow prioritized over pleasing her. I know there are women out there who treasure the surprise (no criticism of them intended!) but unless the guy is 100% certain she falls into that category, why risk it? Is it somehow unmanly to have one's lifetime partnership be a joint decision?

 

[Stephny691]

But it's more than just who picked out the ring. Even women who pick out their own ring (or couples that pick out the ring together) still probably work within a budget. My DH and I picked out my ring together, but if we had absolutely no budget, my choice would have been different and to me, that translates into a certain level of disappointment with your ring.

This ^^ Sums up my feelings perfectly. I ADORE my Ering, but obviously it was within a budget. Would I have liked a bigger stone? Yes. but we didn't have the money. And I'm not going to upgrade it later, because THIS is my ering, it will always be my ering and I love it with the fury of the sun. But do I wish I was a millionnaire so I could have had a rock? You betcha.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Or you have women like me- I picked out my own ring and was still disappointed with it. The engagement was not a surprise (I was even wearing the ring before I was engaged!) and there was nothing to "blame" on my now-husband. I just picked too rashly and at the time, wasn't into jewelry at all.

 

[SandyinAnaheim]

Or you have women like me- I picked out my own ring and was still disappointed with it. The engagement was not a surprise (I was even wearing the ring before I was engaged!) and there was nothing to "blame" on my now-husband. I just picked too rashly and at the time, wasn't into jewelry at all.

That's so sad Logan! Can you have it re-set into something you like better, or upgrade your stone for an "anniversary", birthday, Christmas, etc.? The way I see it, life is short, and if owning these beautiful things can bring you daily pleasure, why not work towards having something that WILL do that now that you know more and can make a better choice? And while you can?

I too rushed into purchasing a ring, an expensive one, when newly engaged. Upon receipt, I realized that despite its price tag and "GIA XXX" seal of approval, it was lackluster, dim and brought me zero pleasure to look at. If my love was going to drop a load of money on a bauble, I had better be ecstatic over it! So I got to work learning about stones, shapes, grading, cut, etc. and then made an educated decision. I adore my choice and my fiance loves that he made me so happy. I wish everyone had that!

 

[TC1987]

Well, I can maybe see being disappointed with .25ct or .33ct nowadays, because the USA's average e-ring now is probably more like .7-.8ct RB. Internet made diamonds more affordable, at least for a while before the Asian markets started buying.

But, I think that some people are disappointed and it's their own fault, because they had unrealistic expectations to begin with. My e-ring, and I was an adult established in a career for over 10 years when I received it, was .8something RB. I tuned my setting to get the finger coverage that I wanted, and I was happy with that for 9 years until we divorced and I gave that diamond back. Then I bought a 1ct 6.4mm RB for myself, and if it were the only diamond I owned, I'd still be happy with it. I can't relate to being disappointed with receiving an ideal-cut 1ct or 1.5ct or up as a gift. Since I paid for all of my current rocks myself, I know what it's like to fork over one's paycheck to pay for them. (shrug)

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Or you have women like me- I picked out my own ring and was still disappointed with it. The engagement was not a surprise (I was even wearing the ring before I was engaged!) and there was nothing to "blame" on my now-husband. I just picked too rashly and at the time, wasn't into jewelry at all.

That's so sad Logan! Can you have it re-set into something you like better, or upgrade your stone for an "anniversary", birthday, Christmas, etc.? The way I see it, life is short, and if owning these beautiful things can bring you daily pleasure, why not work towards having something that WILL do that now that you know more and can make a better choice? And while you can?

I too rushed into purchasing a ring, an expensive one, when newly engaged. Upon receipt, I realized that despite its price tag and "GIA XXX" seal of approval, it was lackluster, dim and brought me zero pleasure to look at. If my love was going to drop a load of money on a bauble, I had better be ecstatic over it! So I got to work learning about stones, shapes, grading, cut, etc. and then made an educated decision. I adore my choice and my fiance loves that he made me so happy. I wish everyone had that!

Don't worry, I've changed several times in the last 11 years! First I changed modified the solitaire head, then I changed it into a three stone trellis. Then I upgraded the center stone and then about a month ago, I upgraded the stone and changed into a Victor Canera halo. Stick a fork in me because I'm done!

 

[SandyinAnaheim]

Oh good! Multiple happy endings!

I can't relate to being disappointed with receiving an ideal-cut 1ct or 1.5ct or up as a gift. Since I paid for all of my current rocks myself, I know what it's like to fork over one's paycheck to pay for them. (shrug)

I agree 100% and I've bought all my other rocks myself too. I think that's the quandary a lot of women find themselves in though. They receive an "expensive gift" that is not exactly to their liking along with a proposal and they don't want to seem ungrateful - that's a tough spot and difficult to broach for many people, male and female. But the reality is, most people don't invest the time to gain the requisite knowledge to make a good choice and regret can last a long time.

My fiance's oldest daughter asked to see my ring after I had returned the first one and I told her I didn't like it and sent it back. She called me the following day and reamed me a new one saying she was offended for her father. I was floored! She had no idea of the back story. It's a very sensitive subject for a lot of people.

 

[Andelain]

I met and started dating a guy several years ago. We were together for a couple months, and I thought we were building toward something. One day he surprised me with a ring box on one knee. I didn't think we were to that point yet, but apparently he did. He asked, and opened the box to a ring I instantly hated. Not my style at all, and nothing like the rings I already had.

I stuttered a bit, and finally said maybe we needed more time. He got upset, and asked if I said that because of the ring, because he could see the look on my face. I said it wasn't that, it was just too soon. I also told him it troubled me that he was proposing to someone he knew so little about that he'd bought something so unlike anything I'd ever wear. It wasn't even close to my size!

He haranged me for a few days after that, and then we broke up. It wasn't the ring, it was that he didn't even try to know me better.

 

[BlingObsession]

I was the OP of this thread and I posted it because I was actually really surprised when I read the article.

It would appear that I'm one of the lucky ones.

The proposal was a surprise and my now-husband selected my engagement ring himself. I loved it then and still love it now.

A simple classic solitaire - GIA 1.24ct round diamond I/VS1. Set in 18ct yellow gold tapered cathedral with 6 prong platinum head.

It's been a while now - and it was graded before GIA did cut grades and before the H&A thing - so I have no idea of the quality but it's not a dog, that's for sure. Considering he knew little about jewelry, he did very well and paid a reasonable price for it.

We did have it reset after 10 years to give it a little facelift, we raised the diamond up a little and changed to 4 prongs - essentially it still looks the same but the diamond shines just that little bit brighter.

I have some lovely pieces but it's still my most important piece of jewelry.

That's not to say he's perfect, he has bought me some stuff to which my response has been "what were you thinking"???? Refund please! Now he just goes through my gem box and my inspiration folder and gets creative. Good lad that he is.

Sorry - being a little smugmug

However, it has been really interesting reading everyone's views on the matter. Love diversity!