I am contemplating something drastic...

[dreamer_dachsie]

So as many of your know I am planning to reset my 1.2ct G diamond this year. To help me decide on my favourite look, I have been visiting local jewelers and trying on their wares.

As many of you also know, I have been loving the three stone look for a while. But my husband and I went out today and we both really loved the look of a lucinda/vatch x-prong style solitaire... with a bigger diamond of course

It looked great on my hand, I love the heavy domed thick shank, and of course, bigger diamonds are always better.

I plan for the change I make this year to be IT. I do not want to keep spending money on my diamond, we want to take vacations instead

And so I am thinking about something drastic.

For about the same money I was going to spend on a three-stone, I could upgrade to an approximately 1.60ct I SI1 AGSO (or similar). It would be 7.5mm, so a jump of 0.65mm from my present diamond. It would also hit the cap I have in my mind of the max I am willing to spend on a ring for various idiosyncratic reasons.

The catch? It would be a non-H&A and thus non-upgradeable

Scary as that it, it also seems liberating to me to no longer have the option of upgrading. That would be my forever diamond! Resets in the future, maybe different diamonds, but this project would be done.

What do you all think? Would this be crazy?

 

[kenny]

I'm on my third forever-diamond, with 30 years to live.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

Date: 3/12/2010 11:56:47 PM
Author: kenny
I''m on my third forever-diamond, with 30 years to live.

LOL! Do you upgrade or just keep adding to the collection?

 

[bgray]

Dreamer...never say never. I wouldnt want to limit myself like that no matter how rational it seemed.

 

[pancake]

Haha, and I am on my first!

Dreamer, I think it is a nice idea but with a few "ifs".

"If" #1: I remember that you are very colour sensitive, and that you upgraded your K stone because you didn't like the warmth. I have often seen you comment on how much you love the "iciness" of your G. Are you sure that once the thrill of size wears off, you won't feel frustrated by the slight warmth you're going to see in the lower colour? Particularly since the stone will be bigger and thus potentially show its colour more.

"If" #2: Would you be 100% happy to sacrifice the extra bling-a-ding of a 3 stone setting? I suppose if you went up to a bigger solitaire, you could make it into a 3 stone (although a 3 stone with a 1.6ct in the middle would be GINORMOUS) later. The other question about the setting is the practicality. I know you have a little one - and potentially more to come! - so is a big solitaire going to be less practical?


I wonder whether another option (requiring patience, which I myself do not possess) would be to wait for a while...maybe do the 3 stone option, and then later down the track, upgrade to your Ultimate Forever Stone - which might be something like an E-G VS in your Ultimate Size (of which I'm uncertain)?

ETA: Oops, I just re-read your post and saw that you want this year's change to be the final one. In which case, "If" #1 is really the issue!

 

[Phoenix]

DON'T DO IT!! You'd regret it. You're still young, you've got many years ahead of you. Never say never!! You won't know for sure if at some point in the future you may want to spend more money to get a larger diamond. I wouldn't limit my options like that.

If you are not sure abt the 3-stone ring, I'd put that money you're planning to spend aside and have a good think about it. Then come back in say 6 months to a year's time and see how you feel then.

 

[Phoenix]

Date: 3/13/2010 12:02:12 AM
Author: bgray
Dreamer...never say never. I wouldnt want to limit myself like that no matter how rational it seemed.

Ha ha...great minds think alike!

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

hahah.. I should have known better than to post this question so late at night EST.... only the die hard bling heads are around

Date: 3/13/2010 12:03:36 AM
Author: pancake
Haha, and I am on my first!

Dreamer, I think it is a nice idea but with a few ''ifs''.

''If'' #1: I remember that you are very colour sensitive, and that you upgraded your K stone because you didn''t like the warmth. I have often seen you comment on how much you love the ''iciness'' of your G. Are you sure that once the thrill of size wears off, you won''t feel frustrated by the slight warmth you''re going to see in the lower colour? Particularly since the stone will be bigger and thus potentially show its colour more.

''If'' #2: Would you be 100% happy to sacrifice the extra bling-a-ding of a 3 stone setting? I suppose if you went up to a bigger solitaire, you could make it into a 3 stone (although a 3 stone with a 1.6ct in the middle would be GINORMOUS) later. The other question about the setting is the practicality. I know you have a little one - and potentially more to come! - so is a big solitaire going to be less practical?


I wonder whether another option (requiring patience, which I myself do not possess) would be to wait for a while...maybe do the 3 stone option, and then later down the track, upgrade to your Ultimate Forever Stone - which might be something like an E-G VS in your Ultimate Size (of which I''m uncertain)?

ETA: Oops, I just re-read your post and saw that you want this year''s change to be the final one. In which case, ''If'' #1 is really the issue!

#1 -- I do love my G. But an I is a whole world different than a K. I owned a J first and was happy with it. Granted it was smaller. But I am really not comfortable spending the amount of money it would take to jump the 1.5ct mark and keep a G color. It is double what I have "invested" now! I suppose in my dream world I would have a 2ct G color diamond. But $20k is a lot of money, and even if we can afford it in 10 years, I don''t think I want to spend that much ever. I know, I know, never say never. But *for me* it just isn''t right and I don''t want to set myself up where I am tempted. I would need to see a potential diamond in person before committing to be sure about the tint. I love icy white, but I also love big.

#2: Well I guess since the door is not shut on that option, I am not worried about it. I actually don''t think 1.6ct is ginourmous after trying them on

Clearly there is something wrong with me.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/12/2010 11:54:45 PM
Author:dreamer_d
The catch? It would be a non-H&A and thus non-upgradeable

Scary as that it, it also seems liberating to me to no longer have the option of upgrading. That would be my forever diamond! Resets in the future, maybe different diamonds, but this project would be done.

What do you all think? Would this be crazy?

no more upgrades??

you''ll be bann from PS.

 

[Gypsy]

Yeah, no.

First of all... I like a really well made and well tapered X-prong... but combining that with a non-upgradable stone. Nope. You are still not to a point, in your mind, IMO that you should limit yourself like that. I do think that upgrading your diamond is a good idea, I know that the inclusion that you can see has you wary still. But I think that you should make one move.. either setting or diamond, then decide the other later.

ETA: If 1.6 didn't look large to you. No way on the non-upgradable.

 

[bgray]

Date: 3/13/2010 12:21:26 AM
Author: dreamer_d
hahah.. I should have known better than to post this question so late at night EST.... only the die hard bling heads are around

 

[bgray]

Dreamer: what about setting your current stone in your dream setting. then if you still want to go up in size you could re-use the existing setting since the size difference would be manageable. Come to think of it I am not sure what your ring currently looks like.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

This is my current ring.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

Date: 3/13/2010 12:54:38 AM
Author: Gypsy
Yeah, no.

First of all... I like a really well made and well tapered X-prong... but combining that with a non-upgradable stone. Nope. You are still not to a point, in your mind, IMO that you should limit yourself like that. I do think that upgrading your diamond is a good idea, I know that the inclusion that you can see has you wary still. But I think that you should make one move.. either setting or diamond, then decide the other later.

ETA: If 1.6 didn''t look large to you. No way on the non-upgradable.

I clearly have a mental problem

It didn''t look overly large. It looked good. My favourite size for a solitaire is 2cts, set in a tapered x-prong, like Ellen''s.

If I am going to upgrade I don''t want to spend money on a setting, though, KWIM? But it is a catch 22 because I know that part of what I am not satisfied with about my current set is the setting.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

Date: 3/13/2010 1:04:15 AM
Author: bgray
Dreamer: what about setting your current stone in your dream setting. then if you still want to go up in size you could re-use the existing setting since the size difference would be manageable. Come to think of it I am not sure what your ring currently looks like.

What is my dream setting?

Are you referenceing the three stone halo by LM? See, that would cost $3200 not including side stones. For that money I would *much* rather upgrade. In fact, I would rather upgrade for any money.

I guess I have answered my own question, haven''t I?

 

[softly softly]

I''m going to go against the grain here and say I think you should go for it, but ONLY if you truly, truly believe that you would be satisfied with all aspects of the stone. I get the impression from reading your posts that your dream ring is a honking solitaire, and I guess only you can decide if 1.6 will fulfil your criteria for ''honking''.

I think the key here is identifying what is most important to you. If size is your number one priority, but you really don''t think you could ever justify spending the money on a 2 ct stone then 1.6 in your dream setting (love your choice of setting btw

) could be a good compromise that gets you the extra size without breaking the bank, and from what you have said previously it would certainly stand out from the crowd where you live. You may have to restrict your time on P.S though

However if cut and colour are as important as size, if your heart''s desire is to have a bigger version of the diamond you already have then I would probably say pass on both this diamond and the 3 stone and wait until you can afford a bigger hearts and arrows stone because I think once the novelty of the bigger stone wears off and shrinkage sets in the lesser quality of the stone is going to bug you.

 

[LGK]

Date: 3/13/2010 1:56:17 AM
Author: dreamer_d

Date: 3/13/2010 12:54:38 AM
Author: Gypsy
Yeah, no.

First of all... I like a really well made and well tapered X-prong... but combining that with a non-upgradable stone. Nope. You are still not to a point, in your mind, IMO that you should limit yourself like that. I do think that upgrading your diamond is a good idea, I know that the inclusion that you can see has you wary still. But I think that you should make one move.. either setting or diamond, then decide the other later.

ETA: If 1.6 didn''t look large to you. No way on the non-upgradable.

I clearly have a mental problem

It didn''t look overly large. It looked good. My favourite size for a solitaire is 2cts, set in a tapered x-prong, like Ellen''s.

If I am going to upgrade I don''t want to spend money on a setting, though, KWIM? But it is a catch 22 because I know that part of what I am not satisfied with about my current set is the setting.

This statement makes me say: wait until you find something you can upgrade. Forever is a loooooonnnnng time, and you''ve already seen how easy it is to swap stones- I think it''s hard to forget that, y''know? If you could see yourself getting something 2 ct-ish *in addition* to the new 1.60 (presumably much later, lol) then maybe. Possibly. But, though a 1.60 is nothing to sneeze at for sure, it''s not a 2 ct. And man, it''s ridiculous how much diamonds shrink!

I''d say the size just isn''t that much larger for losing the upgrade possiblity. And without ideal cut... you might miss that a lot too, down the line, after living with it.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

Date: 3/13/2010 2:07:59 AM
Author: softly softly
I''m going to go against the grain here and say I think you should go for it, but ONLY if you truly, truly believe that you would be satisfied with all aspects of the stone. I get the impression from reading your posts that your dream ring is a honking solitaire, and I guess only you can decide if 1.6 will fulfil your criteria for ''honking''.

I think the key here is identifying what is most important to you. If size is your number one priority, but you really don''t think you could ever justify spending the money on a 2 ct stone then 1.6 in your dream setting (love your choice of setting btw

) could be a good compromise that gets you the extra size without breaking the bank, and from what you have said previously it would certainly stand out from the crowd where you live. You may have to restrict your time on P.S though

However if cut and colour are as important as size, if your heart''s desire is to have a bigger version of the diamond you already have then I would probably say pass on both this diamond and the 3 stone and wait until you can afford a bigger hearts and arrows stone because I think once the novelty of the bigger stone wears off and shrinkage sets in the lesser quality of the stone is going to bug you.

Softly Your setting is really one of my favourite on PS. I really love a thick, rounded, domed shank. I think I need to think about it more. The reality is that the size my diamond is *now* is large and lovely. Why do I want a bigger diamond anyways? Part of me wonders if it is all just the setting dragging me down, because it just isn''t my style. But then if I reset and I am not happy, then the money is wasted

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

Just to clarify, it would still be an ideal cut diamond, just not an H&A.

But I think you all have convinced me

 

[softly softly]

Dreamer I feel your pain. It's so hard to be up against what your heart wants and what your mind tells you is realistic. I know I learnt my lesson the hard way when I decided on my last cushion even though my heart was telling me that I really wanted an OEC. At the time my head was telling me to go with what was then the more affordable option, and while the cushion was beautiful I could never get rid of the nagging thought that I had settled too soon.

I was very hesitant when I decided on my OEC because I just wasn't sure how I would feel about the colour. Luckily it all seems to have worked out and it has reinforced to me that what my heart was desiring wasn't the whitest diamond I could afford, but rather (as crude as it may sound) the biggest OEC I could afford. This stone is definitely warmer than my last, but it honestly doesn't bother me and I've now been converted to the charm of these warmer coloured antique stones.

I would also add, and I hope I'm not being presumptuous, that sometimes standards of affordability change as time goes on and careers progress and you become more established. I can certainly understand your feeling on how much money is reasonable to spend on a diamond - believe me I was very aware how much more sensible it would have been to put the money elsewhere, but at the end of the day I can't deny the pleasure my ring brings me and I think that is a tangible benefit too!

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

Date: 3/13/2010 2:47:01 AM
Author: softly softly
Dreamer I feel your pain. It''s so hard to be up against what your heart wants and what your mind tells you is realistic. I know I learnt my lesson the hard way when I decided on my last cushion even though my heart was telling me that I really wanted an OEC. At the time my head was telling me to go with what was then the more affordable option, and while the cushion was beautiful I could never get rid of the nagging thought that I had settled too soon.

I was very hesitant when I decided on my OEC because I just wasn''t sure how I would feel about the colour. Luckily it all seems to have worked out and it has reinforced to me that what my heart was desiring wasn''t the whitest diamond I could afford, but rather (as crude as it may sound) the biggest OEC I could afford. This stone is definitely warmer than my last, but it honestly doesn''t bother me and I''ve now been converted to the charm of these warmer coloured antique stones.

I would also add, and I hope I''m not being presumptuous, that sometimes standards of affordability change as time goes on and careers progress and you become more established. I can certainly understand your feeling on how much money is reasonable to spend on a diamond - believe me I was very aware how much more sensible it would have been to put the money elsewhere, but at the end of the day I can''t deny the pleasure my ring brings me and I think that is a tangible benefit too!

This is what my husband keeps saying too

We are both professionals and will undoubtedly make more as the years go by.

Another option is to make the jump above 1.5ct but J color and an upgradable stone. I do love my G, but I also love size, and a J is not a K by any stretch. Or I could keep my present diamond and make a three stone

and save up for a big upgrade later but enjoy the finger o'' bling in the meantime. But then I would miss out on the delicious solitaire like yours and Ellen''s, which is what got me thinking about the whole upgrade thing in the first place!

Ok, I should go to bed. I am on PST but my baby will still wake up at 6:30am and apparently it is DH''s turn to sleep in

 

[Phoenix]

Date: 3/13/2010 2:47:01 AM
Author: softly softly
Dreamer I feel your pain. It''s so hard to be up against what your heart wants and what your mind tells you is realistic. I know I learnt my lesson the hard way when I decided on my last cushion even though my heart was telling me that I really wanted an OEC. At the time my head was telling me to go with what was then the more affordable option, and while the cushion was beautiful I could never get rid of the nagging thought that I had settled too soon.

I was very hesitant when I decided on my OEC because I just wasn''t sure how I would feel about the colour. Luckily it all seems to have worked out and it has reinforced to me that what my heart was desiring wasn''t the whitest diamond I could afford, but rather (as crude as it may sound) the biggest OEC I could afford. This stone is definitely warmer than my last, but it honestly doesn''t bother me and I''ve now been converted to the charm of these warmer coloured antique stones.

I would also add, and I hope I''m not being presumptuous, that sometimes standards of affordability change as time goes on and careers progress and you become more established. I can certainly understand your feeling on how much money is reasonable to spend on a diamond - believe me I was very aware how much more sensible it would have been to put the money elsewhere, but at the end of the day I can''t deny the pleasure my ring brings me and I think that is a tangible benefit too!

My sentiment exactly!

 

[softly softly]

Date: 3/13/2010 3:00:00 AM
Author: dreamer_d

Date: 3/13/2010 2:47:01 AM

Author: softly softly

Dreamer I feel your pain. It''s so hard to be up against what your heart wants and what your mind tells you is realistic. I know I learnt my lesson the hard way when I decided on my last cushion even though my heart was telling me that I really wanted an OEC. At the time my head was telling me to go with what was then the more affordable option, and while the cushion was beautiful I could never get rid of the nagging thought that I had settled too soon.


I was very hesitant when I decided on my OEC because I just wasn''t sure how I would feel about the colour. Luckily it all seems to have worked out and it has reinforced to me that what my heart was desiring wasn''t the whitest diamond I could afford, but rather (as crude as it may sound) the biggest OEC I could afford. This stone is definitely warmer than my last, but it honestly doesn''t bother me and I''ve now been converted to the charm of these warmer coloured antique stones.


I would also add, and I hope I''m not being presumptuous, that sometimes standards of affordability change as time goes on and careers progress and you become more established. I can certainly understand your feeling on how much money is reasonable to spend on a diamond - believe me I was very aware how much more sensible it would have been to put the money elsewhere, but at the end of the day I can''t deny the pleasure my ring brings me and I think that is a tangible benefit too!

This is what my husband keeps saying too

We are both professionals and will undoubtedly make more as the years go by.


Another option is to make the jump above 1.5ct but J color and an upgradable stone. I do love my G, but I also love size, and a J is not a K by any stretch. Or I could keep my present diamond and make a three stone

and save up for a big upgrade later but enjoy the finger o'' bling in the meantime. But then I would miss out on the delicious solitaire like yours and Ellen''s, which is what got me thinking about the whole upgrade thing in the first place!


Ok, I should go to bed. I am on PST but my baby will still wake up at 6:30am and apparently it is DH''s turn to sleep in

Dreamer it''s great that your husband is on board - that''s half the battle

.

Oh and I also feel your pain about the 6.30 wake up call. My 5 year old has done that pretty much all his life, but I can never bring myself to go to bed early as night time is the only ''me'' time I get on a regular basis.

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

You''ve had so many ideas for upgrading or otherwise changing your ring. I worry that which ever one you pick, you''ll hanker after a different option. Sorry, not trying to sound rude, but there''s an undefined itch there and until you figure out exactly what it is, you can''t scratch it.

Can I suggest you do nothing? At ALL. Wait, and do this next year. 12 months from now. In the meantime, everytime you crave a certain look, make a note of it. At the end of the year, look over the notes and see what you''ve wanted most often.

I did that a while back and what I discovered was that I didn''t really want to change anything, I just wanted more rings. So the RHR collecting began.

 

[susimoo]

No expert here, but all I would add to the chorus is don''t limit or close down your options.

I am about to undertake a diamond sale/purchase to BE ABLE to upgrade. I would love to be in your position right now. I think this is the main benefit that I have received from PS besides all the diamond info is access to vendors who will "grow" your diamonds for you at no loss to you.

I simply cannot wait to be in a position to be able to do that. I can also vouch for the fact that there is a LOT more disposable income in our household now than there was 13 years ago when we got married. Hence my extreme desire to grow my solitaire. LOL

Good luck with whatever you decide

 

[yssie]

Oh dreamer, that is drastic!!



I too say wait it out, see if you still crave this 1.6 I in a few weeks or months. You said yourself that your dream is a 2ct.. while an 'in-between' or an 'almost' is tempting in the meantime, and you can pretty thoroughly convince yourself that you'll be happy enough while you're looking at the listing, it does wear off - and it would be sad if you didn't have the option to do anything about it at that point

. I confess, I really really wanted an 8.2mm. stone - I don't know why that number was so important to me, but it was. I said I'd be "happy enough" with a 7.8mm stone, and I wound up with a stunner at 8mm. And I'm definitely happy with it, but I do wish it was 0.2mm bigger.




On the other hand (and I'm sure I'll regret saying this later) - at some point I need to let myself say enough is enough, and having no upgrade policy - well, would be a bit of a relief! 'course, then you just have to start over with something else

Ten, twenty years from now.. who knows? Perhaps your situation will be such that there won't be much of a difference between say a 25k brand new investment ROCK and a 15k upgrade, KWIM?




ETA: well, that was vague. I don't want to jinx anything!

 

[Lorelei]

Having options is a good thing.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I would never want to give away the upgrade option. I don''t think your mind is really settled on any one option - too much ''what about this what about that'' going on. I''m not criticizing - I understand that very well. It''s just that your mind still sounds like its in the thinking stage - not the decision stage. I also don''t have a problem with a non H&A stone - I doubt that you would see a huge difference on that either. I just wouldn''t want to shut the door on any other possibilities five or ten years down the road. 1.6 is a nice size but it too will present with DSS down the road.

Years ago when I started my diamond trading, I was locked into one person that was supposed to be a diamond wholesaler. Needless to say, we all know now that they don''t really exist. Anyway, in order to trade my stone again for an ideal cut diamond AND have a business I could work with, I had to bite the bullet and take a big loss. I really felt that if I could get that two carat ideal cut stone I''d never want for more but just in case I wanted to have that option. I tried every way I knew not to have to go that route but in the end, I just knew that if it was something I really wanted, I just had to suck it up and pay the money. I too wanted to do other things rather than diamond. Interestingly enough though, in a couple of years, I had the opportunity to trade up to the 2.2 ideal cut stone that I have today. I was SO glad that I had the option to do that. I think you are trying to make a big change on a little money and unfortunately, that usually doesn''t work. Just try saving as much as you can in your diamond fund and keep thinking ''what about this and what about that''. It will give you time to decide if you truly want the three stone look or would rather have a larger stone. Going back up to an I or J may very well not work for you although it does seem like a good compromise between a G and a K. You just don''t want to feel ''stuck'' with it if it isn''t!

 

[Lula]

Wow, this is a change!

I have always loved the Vatche/Lucida X-prong setting. Ellen''s rings are some of my favorites on PS.

The more photos I see on PS, the more I''ve come to believe that a plain, traditional solitaire is not that flattering on most women''s hands. It''s tough to get the right balance between stone size and shape, width of the band, length-width of the finger, etc. For me, wearing a solitaire just intensified DSS. I mean, they are a classic option, and you can''t really go wrong with them, but for me, unless you''re a hand model, they look sort of meh. But consider the source -- I wear a large halo!

I think the X-prong is so much more flattering and graceful than a traditional solitaire - just my .02. And you can find reasonably priced, well-made options. It''s not like dropping 2 or 3 grand on a Leon that would really lock you in to that look for a long time (well, it would for me, anyway!).

I also think the X-prong looks the best with whiter diamonds -- the clean lines of the setting really work with a white stone -- again, just my .02. So I think that you''d be very happy with your current diamond in an x-prong setting. I think it would make the stone look larger on your hand.

However, if this is really about size

then I agree with the others that you should wait awhile longer and think this through some more.

But one thing for sure, I would never give up my upgrade option!

 

[HVVS]

Date: 3/12/2010 11:54:45 PM
Author:dreamer_d

The catch? It would be a non-H&A and thus non-upgradeable

Scary as that it, it also seems liberating to me to no longer have the option of upgrading. That would be my forever diamond! Resets in the future, maybe different diamonds, but this project would be done.


What do you all think? Would this be crazy?

Noooooooo! Don''t so it, unless you''ve found a gorgeous great performing antique cut. I''ve gone the opposite route: Started with non-H&A like .75ct to 1.12ct diamonds graded AGA 2A and 2B - International Fine Cut. Very nice diamonds, usually, but they pale compared to my H&A super ideal. I got a 1.19ct H&A, and later upgraded to 1.35ct 7.2mm H&A. AFTER having worn this superb H&A, I believe I''d never want to go back to any lesser cut. I love the arrows and the fire that it has in all lighting. Also, most of the action seems to be on the face-up portion of the diamond. With my 2B graded diamond, it has some leakage and also has fire from the side from the pavilion, but that''s all wasted unless it''s set in a tension setting, which it isn''t

But for diameter, I think you''d be happy with white white and 7.2 or 7.3mm. Personally, I''d stay G or F color, and take a stone less than 1.6ct / 7.5mm instead of get the I color and the full 7.5. Whiter white looks larger to me. I''d be irritated by an I body tint at that ct wt. And since you have a G now, I don''t thing you''d be happy dropping to I and also a larger stone that concentrated the color more.

And you''re right, that some settings are really best with the larger diamonds.