how to ask for a return policy on paper

Get it in writing. She may be very comfortable with a loose agreement if all goes well, but if it doesn't, she may change her tune. Protect yourself by having her write it down for you and both sign.

Good luck! While you're in NYC are you doing any of the ps vendors?

Enerchi,

Thanks for the advice. I will try to politely and in the course of natural conversation ask her to write down the return policy. Hopefully there will be no tune-changing

After buying these babies I'm gonna be so broke I won't even be able to think the words "PS-vendors" for a few months So no, FI and I will just walk around NYC, probably take the long subway ride to Brighton Beach (the Russian neighborhood in NYC), and head back Saturday. That said, I will be picking up the earrings smack in the middle of the diamond district. I'm sure I'll be blinded by all the sparkliness around me!

Personally, I'd prepare a short contract/return policy.

Purchaser, __________, is buying this item____ on this day ______ from Seller ______. Both parties have agreed that Purchaser has until this date _______ to return the diamond to seller for any reason for a full refund of the purchase price by the same method that the Purchaser originally paid provided that the item is in the original condition it was at time of Purchase.

Signed

________________________
Purchaser

and
_____________________________
Seller


And I'd take two copies and have you guys sign them both and each keep one.

But I'm a geek.

Gypsy, that looks like such a nice contract! I hate to admit it, but I don't have the guts to ask her for two sets of signatures and make it all so official. I mean, if I felt like I really had to (if I thought I couldn't trust her, really), I'd pull myself together and do what i have to do to protect myself. But this is an established seller who attends numerous shows around the country, so... I will ask her to write a firm return period on their company receipt. Their receipt does have this printed on it: "All claims and returned goods MUST be accompanied by this bill..."



And then it says "...during next show."

Oops... I guess that answers my question, eh. Embarrassing.

Thanks for your advise though! I'll keep this "form" handy for the future.

"Can you please write the return policy on the receipt and sign it? Thanks"

Not paranoid. I have done it. Don't be a big sissy, cover your a$$. Why are you scared?? Blame your husband for needing the written thing. If she balks, then that is her problem not yours.

The note you just mentioned about needing the receipt for a return at the next show is not sufficient IMO, it does not say you get a refund.

Good point Dreamer. I will ask her for a written and signed note about a refund.

I guess the reason I'm nervous is because she has something I want, and I don't want to somehow make the transaction unpleasant by asking her the wrong way. I guess I feel like while she has those earrings, she has power over me. It works that way in my mind somehow. If she balks, then it really would be my problem, since I'm the one who is lusting after those earrings. I will probably end up buying them anyway, so I need to make sure I play nicely (but firmly) and get what I want without alienating the seller. Working through the process in this thread is very helpful.

Thanks for all the advice!

Written by GemFever » May 10th, 2012, 10:58 pm:Good point Dreamer. I will ask her for a written and signed note about a refund.

I guess the reason I'm nervous is because she has something I want, and I don't want to somehow make the transaction unpleasant by asking her the wrong way. I guess I feel like while she has those earrings, she has power over me. It works that way in my mind somehow. If she balks, then it really would be my problem, since I'm the one who is lusting after those earrings. I will probably end up buying them anyway, so I need to make sure I play nicely (but firmly) and get what I want without alienating the seller. Working through the process in this thread is very helpful.

Thanks for all the advice!

There are ALWAYS more diamonds Being assertive is hard for women. Smile when you ask, is softens aby blow. You are not being unreasonable, so there is no reason for her to react poorly.

She's a seller and you have what she wants. Money. The power is equal. Being assertive is very different from being offensive. Assertive and confident doesn't mean off putting, confrontational, or rude.

You are absolutely right ladies. I will smile and be polite, but I will get her to write out the return policy.

On the bus to NYC now

I agree with all the others. When I showed up for the earrings I'd just say 'when I was here before you mentioned that I could return them if I wasn't happy,but it was sort of vague, could you just write your terms on the receipt for me, so it's clear?'

I completely understand your feelings about her having something that you want, but at the same time, she's selling something that YOU want to buy! I'm sure this isn't the first time that she has been asked to provide a return policy. Good Luck, I can't wait to see pictures!

Thanks Christina! I'll probably post them on Sunday, when we come back from NYC. I'll probably post in the Antique & Vintage section

I agree with the above. The best way to get the T&C written down is to ask for it and to offer assistance with the details like the writing if needed. The diamond business is curious in that the B2B sector is amazingly lax in terms of paperwork. Reputation is EVERYTHING. People will do deals worth millions of dollars based on a simple handshake on the street. Mazal. There’s a long and honored tradition that, by the way, doesn’t involve returns. Buy from one of those boys and it’s yours. Sell to one of them and you can count on the money. Stiff one and you and your family are out of the business for generations to come. Diamond people can get into a mindset where they’re a bit insulted by this sort of thing. How could you not trust them when there are other people who do?

That's just tough. Retail is different and they need to get over it. You can and should ask for a return period. You can and should ask for 3rd party verification of the important facts. You can and should demand paperwork. You’re a one off-deal and this idea of them and their friends refusing to do business with you in the future isn’t much of a threat any more than you refusing to shop there again isn’t much of a threat. They want to sell at retail because the prices are higher, which is fine, but they can’t have it both ways. If they want to be a retailer they need to act like a retailer and that means putting it in writing (among other things).

Written by denverappraiser » May 11th, 2012, 6:50 am:I agree with the above. The best way to get the T&C written down is to ask for it and to offer assistance with the details like the writing if needed. The diamond business is curious in that the B2B sector is amazingly lax in terms of paperwork. Reputation is EVERYTHING. People will do deals worth millions of dollars based on a simple handshake on the street. Mazal. There’s a long and honored tradition that, by the way, doesn’t involve returns. Buy from one of those boys and it’s yours. Sell to one of them and you can count on the money. Stiff one and you and your family are out of the business for generations to come. Diamond people can get into a mindset where they’re a bit insulted by this sort of thing. How could you not trust them when there are other people who do?

That's just tough. Retail is different and they need to get over it. You can and should ask for a return period. You can and should ask for 3rd party verification of the important facts. You can and should demand paperwork. You’re a one off-deal and this idea of them and their friends refusing to do business with you in the future isn’t much of a threat any more than you refusing to shop there again isn’t much of a threat. They want to sell at retail because the prices are higher, which is fine, but they can’t have it both ways. If they want to be a retailer they need to act like a retailer and that means putting it in writing (among other things).

This is really interesting, I didn't think business was done this way anymore. It's also sort of refreshing to know that a persons word is still valued, meaningful and binding. Sadly as consumers,I think we have become so suspect of retailers that by nature we feel we need to protect ourselves with written assurances. And for good reason, when you consider the many threads by consumers that have had horrible BM experiences and land on PS looking for help.

My go to way of asking for anything like that is to say, "I know you are trustworthy, but I am just not comfortable buying anything this expensive without a written policy. Do you mind?"

Written by Gypsy » May 11th, 2012, 4:42 pm:My go to way of asking for anything like that is to say, "I know you are trustworthy, but I am just not comfortable buying anything this expensive without a written policy. Do you mind?"

Good one, Gypsy! I like this phrase. It is 'polite', if that's a concern, and it's firm. And then the onus is on the seller - they comply and the item is sold, or you can walk away. Look after yourself first.

That does sound like a good way to phrase it.

I have to admit that I failed with the written request yesterday. I asked her about it, she said it's pinted on their receipt. I asked whether it covers a full refund, and she said "I'll tell you what I'll do -- I just won't deposit your check until the Monday after the show. If you bring the earrings back next weekend, I'll just give you back your check, so we don't have to go through the process with the bank."

I agreed, because I *wanted* the earrings. I love them and now I'm pretty sure I won't be returning them. But in the future, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing this, and I'll be careful of establishing an overly friendly tone with sellers, cause it made it harder for me to switch to a more business-like tone. Will do better next time. Will memorize Gypsy's approach!

Anyway, I'll be posting pics tomorrow

That's great that you have them and you are happy with them, Gemfever! Great news!!! Can't wait for the photos.

And I think that's a great line Gypsy provided, that we should all work on remembering.