event blues

It's never easy trying to figure out a balance between "past lives" and your current life. We've balanced both worlds since the inception of our relationship. Robin has the distinct honor of being God Mother and Step Mother to my two boys and daughter it's a LONG story, but that's how it worked out. We were married in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico via a private ceremony accompanied by a few close friends and family members, we did not include the children in the ceremony simply because their mother wouldn't let them come out for an unscheduled visitation and they really didn't seem to be affected by it (then or now). We suppose that it is all how you handle your explanation of things with them...

We can see why you would not want to have your wedding anniversary during the same month as your fiance's previous wedding anniversary, but in reality, your special day will be your special day and their day does not encompass an entire month, at least from our perspective. It will be what you make of it, just decide what is important to you and go with it

IMHO, I don't see a problem with having a small, private wedding ceremony in July. Just you and the kids, a few close friends, and other relatives. Whoever you want. And having your "Announcement Party" or "Reception" or whatever you want to call it in August.

PK - I have a similar situation. My family lives across the country, and my fiance and I were intending on having a small, private wedding, with a party later. However, I can't invite my family from across the country, and best friends from states far away and from Europe, to just a party. If I got an ivitation to a party, no matter how good of friend it was, I'd need one good kick in the *ss to get me to spend the time and money to attend. And I certainly would rethink the gift thing, not that that has anything to do with this though. I have told my GF that if we do the delayed party, it will essentially be her, me, and her friends and family.

Since our engagement, though, my fiance has started to realize that she needs to have more family and friends see the actual wedding than she really cared to, so it looks like the wedding snowball is about to begin to roll, making the after party a moot point.

Hello,

I don't think your anniversary date would change if you renewed your vows.

I also don't think you are being silly. If that's the way you feel, that's the way you feel. Feeling the way you do, I would not even consider having the wedding in August. Why risk having your anniversary date be sad in some way to you? I really like the idea of having the wedding in July for you and your future husband (and maybe your closest family), and then maybe renewing your vows and having the "reception" in August for everyone else... This way you have a July anniversary, but everyone gets to celebrate with you in August.

That being said, IMO, this should be a happy time in your life. You should let go of worrying about your future husband's past, and not be threatened by it in any way.

Just my two cents. Good luck!