Eurika!!

[Texada]

Date: 6/12/2005 8:32:22 PM
Author: Mara
Byron, re the larger stone...

Try to find out what she wants if you can, esp on size. Because if you are thinking a 1c would look fab on her and she would want something like a 1.5c...she may not be too jazzed when she finds out you spent $20k on a hunch!! Oh but honey, it''s super white and ''almost flawless''. Many gals would rather have something that looks ''just as good'' and is bigger...but there are some smaller stone lovers too. Some girls are super interested in the specs of the stone (like many of the gals here!) and are interested in the nuances of diamonds, and some just want it to be big and sparkly. Others just want whatever their fiance-to-be gives them. What type of gal is yours? Personality wise.

Whatever you get, be happy with it--but try to feel out what her thoughts are!

One idea..though maybe this is too transparent..talk about a friend at work getting engaged and/or shopping for a ring. Say something like ''oh he wants to get his gf a 1.5c but I told him that was too big!''. See if she says ''WHAT? That''s not too big!'' or if she says ''Yeah I agree''. Then you have more info.

Just a thought.

Thanks Mara, for your comments,

Maybe I''m just a naive, or old fashioned or {insert adjective of your choice here} man, but I have this concept of an engagement where the "asker", either the man OR woman, (or the man, or OTHER man, or the woman or OTHER woman..do I really need to do this?), presents to the partner, a token of love and commitment. A token that was thoughtfully chosen by him to represent how HE feels about her and the impending nuptials.

Is this so bad? I know my girl will be totally happy with whatever I choose, because the feeling and the passion behind the choice, is born of the essence of who I am; and it is this essence, this combination of spirit and being that she fell in love with!

I personally feel that choosing a ring together, would be like buying a car together. It''s about getting as many options as you can, for the amount of money you have. It feels like it''s only about money then.

Bear in mind, that this is how *I* feel... your mileage may vary.

Bryon

 

[afrodyt2000]

Date: 6/12/2005 5:20:45 PM
Author: Texada

Date: 6/12/2005 9:17:12 AM

Author: afrodyt2000

But if you aren''t going to lie or pretend that it is D IF then I don''t see the problem. Many people here have tried to help you but you seem not very open to suggestions. I hope you find the perfect stone and she actually love it too.

afrodyt,


Wow! Lie or pretend? I don''t think you understand. What I want has nothing to do with how other people view the stone! So ''lieing'' or ''pretending'' has nothing to do with it. As for being ''open to suggestions'', please read my original posts.


Thank you for the wish that I find the perfect stone. I know it''s out there...

bryon

No I maybe you don''t understand how your post came across, I was responding to what you said in the post right above my response. Regardless of what your original post says, your reaction can (and in my opinion does) say otherwise (re:wanting help in general). I guess you could say, you know exactly what you want and refuse to change your mind, that isn''t necessarily a bad thing.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 6/12/2005 9:11:07 AM
Author: Texada

Date: 6/12/2005 3:46:37 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
Bryon
F VS1 is not a compromise.once mounted, it will look like a D IF to 99% of people.

Dancing Fire,

Thank you for your comments.

If someone is happy with an F VS1 then that is perfectly fine, but when you say ''it will look like a D IF..'' it implies that you''d really like a D IF, but will settle for a F VS1. If I want something to look like a D IF, it has to be a D IF, because who will know the truth? I will.

Bryon

Texada
no, i would not.even if i had a lot of money,a F VS1 would do it for me.i would be a liar if i told you that i can tell the difference.

 

[Munchkin]

Bryon,
I am most definitely not an expert on round stones, so I am not here to offer technical advice.
(I wish I could!)

I just wanted to toss in another perspective. My boyfriend also had the view of the ring being something wonderful that the proposer chooses for the proposee, with virtually no input. It wasn't that he wanted to try and keep me out of the process, it was just how he thought it should be done.

To me, the most important part of the proposal is the asking. The words, the emotion and the commitment are what truly matter. If there is a ring, it is just icing on the cake. However, we decided that we both wanted to go the diamond engagement ring route. Through some casual discussion, I was made aware of his proposed tactic for ring shopping. I was truly annoyed. Thankfully, we have been able to explain our view to the other in plenty of time for any actual shopping.

I was truly hurt that anyone would essentially dictate what was to be worn on MY left hand for the rest of my life. I have worked extremely hard to become a strong, independent woman, and I felt like that was being dismissed. Essentially, it said (to me) that my input was valued less than his. Further, society sends women the message that we are to "be happy" and "grateful" for any ring that is put on our hand, because of the sentiment behind it. (It would seem that Pscopers dance to our own drummer, however.

)You would be truly astounded at the number of women who are unhappy with their e-ring, because of this influence. It saddens me to think of how many women wear a symbol of life-long commitment - which is essentially a lie.

With the knowledge that it is waaay to easy to read unintended "tone" into an internet post, let me preface this next sentence by saying I am TRULY not picking a fight. You have clearly outlined your view that you think 1c would be the best size and you want D, IF. I have not heard her voice in your posts, though. Are you sure she wants a round? Do you have any idea what size range she might be partial to? (From numerous postings on here, it has also become clear that "norms" regarding e-ring sizes differ between the US and Canada.) Do you know if she even wants a diamond, or would she prefer a gemstone or band ring? Please, find some way to get at least a bit of input from her. Again, I am not trying to be antagonistic. I truly respect your opinion. It just seems that no one has heard her's, and she is to be the wearer.

I feel that the ring should be demonstrative of the joining of two people and their tastes. I feel that such a symbol should be as loved by the giver as the recipient.

Good luck. I am confident that you will find a beautiful stone.
Munchkin
ETA: You likened the process of shopping for a ring together to be akin to buying a car together. There is truly a middle ground to be found. Also, ponder this: would you want to have a say in a car that she was purchasing for you - to be driven every day and for the rest of your life?

 

[MissAva]

Well said munchkin!

 

[MrsFrk]

Texada-
I can appreciate where you are coming from...but let me share this with you. I helped my friend with his diamond quest for his now wife''s ring. He was dead set on a D/IF, he was maybe willing to go E/IF, but IF was very important to him.

He asked me for some opinions, I got my hooks into him, bombarded him with info, and eventually, after many, many, shopping trips and conversations, talked him into buying a MUCH larger but still totally WHITE and EYECLEAN diamond, which his wife adores.

She knows how much it cost, she knows what his initial plans were ( a smaller, IF diamond), and she has told me she is going to name her first child after me!! She would be delighted to be his wife no matter what, and a smaller diamond would not have affected her "Yes!", but she is very happy with a bigger diamond- she does not give a hoot about the IF thing, her diamond is gorgeous and sparkly in a beautiful Vatche setting.

As you embark on this very momentous purchase, please make sure that you are balancing both your desires and hers. Cheers!!!

 

[Texada]

Date: 6/13/2005 12:25:02 AM
Author: Munchkin

To me, the most important part of the proposal is the asking. The words, the emotion and the commitment are what truly matter. If there is a ring, it is just icing on the cake.

I was truly hurt that anyone would essentially dictate what was to be worn on MY left hand for the rest of my life.

I feel that the ring should be demonstrative of the joining of two people and their tastes. I feel that such a symbol should be as loved by the giver as the recipient.

Hi Munchkin!

Although I see a bit of a contridiction in your post re: proposal...ring...icing on the cake...then you''d be hurt if someone asked you to wear it! The most common and important theme in many posts is "I feel", or "If that was my ring", or "I know I''d want something bigger".

Asking a woman to wear a symbol of love and commitment that is a physical manifestation of a man''s inner self has nothing to do with relinguishing her identity as a woman or her self-worth! If you truly believe otherwise, then there are other issues here, not suited to a diamond forum.

When I was a young teen, I had a girlfriend who bought me a 10k chain and signature. It wasn''t particularly pretty, nor was it the most expensive piece in the store. The thing about it was, this girl fretted over what would be a ''perfect'' piece, took what little money she had, used it to put the chain on lay-a-way, then continued to pay it off after several months. I wore that thing proudly because of what it meant to her! Even today when I think about it, the fact that it came from her and who she was inside, touches me.

A corny story? Maybe to some. The point is, I welcome and accept your feelings on this, please accept mine.

Oh, and that car I have to drive around for all eternity? If it was given to me with the spirit, the love and the passion of a true token of love and life-long commitment, then I''d say... "Gimmee the keys!"

respectfully,
Bryon

 

[Texada]

style="WIDTH: 99%; HEIGHT: 96px">Date: 6/13/2005 1:50:23 AM
Author: MrsFrk



...I got my hooks into him, bombarded him with info, and eventually, after many, many, shopping trips and conversations, talked him into buying a MUCH larger but still totally WHITE and EYECLEAN diamond, which his wife adores.

Hi MrsFrk!

So basically what you''re saying, is that YOU bought the diamond! You may not have handed over the cash, but the stone and associated properties (4 c''s), were what YOU believe the ideal diamond should be, instead of her husband. Oh, Okay. And you and you''re conscience are okay with this?

Date: 6/13/2005 1:50:23 AM
Author: MrsFrk

...She would be delighted to be his wife no matter what, and a smaller diamond would not have affected her ''Yes!''

Then why not let her husband offer a stone that he was passionate about?

Bryon

 

[Mara]

Byron i don't think anyone is trying to discourage you from buying what you are going to be happiest with in the end...if you know hands down that is a D IF then fine! Run with it.

But Pscopers by nature want everyone to check all the options, and this is an education forum as well as assistance. I am not surprised to see all the responses (mine included) re: D IF and the various opinions. We see them all the time on threads like this. MANY people that find PS were like you or similar..aka D IF or 'at least E VVS' and then in the end it's interesting to see what people end up with after additional education.

Yes, in my opinion, you are being old fashioned to only consider what you want in this scenario. Is that a bad thing, no, it's a very male response and actually my husband is very much like that as well. I will say that Mrs. Frk's story was really spot on. Many women would be happy with a cracker jack ring if it means they get to marry the man of their dreams. But many women also dream for a long time about getting engaged and the wedding/marriage etc. That also includes the ring that he places on your finger. I don't think many women out there are saying...Boy I can't wait til I get that D IF ring.

I think it's more of a modern thing to have both people involved in the selection of the ring. My now-husband and I did it together...I wanted to be involved as we had been discussing engagement together, and he was actually relieved to have me assist and learn everything he wasn't super interested in aka the nuances of diamonds! Unromantic to some, maybe, but that is just how he is, and how I am is that I love to over-research things to ensure best value for what you want. Anyway, it's a fun story to be able to tell people the journey that we did take together (aka all the PS research I did, the stuff we looked at in person together, when we finally had the diamond, deciding on the setting together etc), he did the proposal all on his own(!), but it was great to be involved in the finding and the creations and it made the whole thing more 'ours' than him just putting something on my finger that he did all by himself. In the end we had a custom ring made that meant more to us together than him buying a standard setting or diamond because it was the thing to do.

But it's not for everyone and there are lots of people who still do the old fashioned route, but I can't stress enough that it is important what she is thinking if you can find out. I guess I view it like, marriage is a partnership, and there are lots of life decisions you end up making together once you embark on that journey. Why shouldn't something as important as a ring she will wear for the rest of her life (or until she upgrades!!

) be included in that as well? Yes you are buying it but it's going on her hand.

Bottom line, PS'ers will be happy with whatever you do, we love eye-candy and we don't see many D IF's around here. BUT it doesn't hurt to throw out a few cents or five dollars worth of opinions just to ensure you really know what you want even after ALL the information regarding something as specific as a D IF purchase is thrown out there.

 

[Tenwood]

Date: 6/12/2005 9:16:07 PM
Author: Texada

Date: 6/12/2005 8:32:22 PM

Maybe I'm just a naive, or old fashioned or {insert adjective of your choice here} man, but I have this concept of an engagement where the 'asker', either the man OR woman, (or the man, or OTHER man, or the woman or OTHER woman..do I really need to do this?), presents to the partner, a token of love and commitment. A token that was thoughtfully chosen by him to represent how HE feels about her and the impending nuptials.


Is this so bad? I know my girl will be totally happy with whatever I choose, because the feeling and the passion behind the choice, is born of the essence of who I am; and it is this essence, this combination of spirit and being that she fell in love with!


I personally feel that choosing a ring together, would be like buying a car together. It's about getting as many options as you can, for the amount of money you have. It feels like it's only about money then.


Bear in mind, that this is how *I* feel... your mileage may vary.


Bryon

Bryon,

I know what you mean, all that token stuff and essence and spirit stuff, very well said

And as far as the "I was truly hurt that anyone would essentially dictate what was to be worn on MY left hand for the rest of my life."....all I can say is, don't wear it, don't let anyone dictate what you wear or not wear, be untraditional, don't wear a ring, heck, wear it on the right hand. Holy smokes, and I thought the element of surprise was somewhat romantic.

I applaud you on your conviction to your preset criteria. I think there's a simple elegance to saying your diamond is D and IF when asked for the specs. Good luck on your search.

 

[nerdbot]

When I first started shopping, before I had actually looked at real nice stones (outside of a mall), I too had an idea of what I wanted. After looking at ideal and near ideal stones (not over the internet, not just on paper), I decided I wanted a better balance of the 4 C's. Mainly because I didn't have the $20k to spend, so I had to make compromises. If you believe that an ideal 1ct D IF is the best balance of the 4 C's to you, more power to you.

Stop trying to convince this guy to change his criteria. If the wealth of knowledge on PS and other sites and after two pages of posts from other experienced buyers, owners, experts, enthusiasts, husbands, wives, fiancee's etc hasn't convinced him to change his mind then I don't think he ever will. For the record, I agree with the overall consensus. But, with so many people "against" him, he's almost being forced to defend himself and while it's not ugly yet, it's starting to head in that direction. I don't want to be in anyone's crosshairs.

[long pause]

Ok, ok... I'll just make a couple comments.

If rarity is something you value, what about a different type of rarity? Like size. It's funny (kismet?) that this other thread happens to be at the top of the list this morning as well. DazedAndConfused is having a hard time finding a 2.4+ ct size stone just because they are so rare.

Or what about rare color, and get J-Lo-esque yellow fancy diamond? Or pink? I hear those are rare as well.

Oh, and if I personally had the 20k to spend? Well, I'd probably get her the same stone (since she absolutely loves it), maybe a touch larger, and put the rest towards our wedding and honeymoon. And I know for a fact that is what she would want too. As it is, our guests are getting wonderbread and tap water.

 

[nerdbot]

Oh, and if I personally had the 20k to spend? Well, I'd probably get her the same stone (since she absolutely loves it), maybe a touch larger, and put the rest towards our wedding and honeymoon. And I know for a fact that is what she would want too. As it is, our guests are getting wonderbread and tap water.

I wonder if I'm the first person to quote myself?

I said a "touch larger" not because that's what she wants, but that's because what I want. While it's still early for her, she's still not quite used to how large the stone is to her. I love the fact that both of us are 2000% satisfied with the stone. For her, because it's beautiful, sparkly, catches her eye in just about any light, etc. For me, being an engineer, it's a perfect harmony of angles and numbers...

Yeah, yeah, 2000% is not mathematically correct. It was just easier than putting in words how happy we are with the ring. Engineer, not poet, remember?

 

[icekid]

just to reiterate what Mara said, it''s a bit old-fashioned to not involve the girl at all. especially when you have NO IDEA what she would like.

i''ve been VERY involved in picking out my ring. i''m the researcher of the two of us, so it was natural. in the end, we custom designed a ring that is US. not HIM. i''m not sure what he would have chosen on his own...

but if you''re set on D IF, i''m sure she''ll love it!! good luck

 

[mrssalvo]

Hey Texada,
I think you wanting the best for her is awesome and I'm sure she will love it no matter what you get her. I do want to add to be SURE you have a pretty good idea about what she would like. My sister became engaged last year. Her and her now hubby started discussing marriage very lighty. He wanted it to be a total romantic surprise like you. My sister only has one wish. She wanted a 1 carat round. Other than that, she left the rest up to him. He picked a setting with channel set sidestones and a matching wedding band. She couldn't have been more pleased or excited. I one the other hand are like many of the ladies here. I have learned a lot about diamonds and settings here on this site. My hubby wants to "surprise" me with an upgrade but he thinks it's very unromantic for me to be involved. He wants me to trust him to pick out what looks nice to his eyes

Anyway, we made a compromise. he wil pick out the stone all by himself and I get to pic the setting. This seems to work for both of us. I guess i'm trying to say all women are different, some like the old fashioned way, others like to be involved. Most american women have some sort of idea of what type of ring they want re: size and shape and metal color at least. i would say the average women doesn't really know or care about the specs as long as it sparkles. my sister wouldn't know if she was wearing a high end CZ. It's just big and sparkles. You know your woman and what will make her happiest. Good like finding your stone and please post pics when you get it

and I have and old cut stone that was has suffered chips to the girdle at a time other than while it was set. this is common in old cut stones. I found out when I had a recent apprasial done. Not as likely but possible with a modern cuts. If she would somehow suffer a chip she will no longer have an IF stone, it will probably drop the clarity grade down a bit. If we haven't answered all your questions please feel free to ask. sometimes questions get lost as the threads progress.

 

[fire&ice]

Date: 6/13/2005 7:24:43 AM
Author: nerdbot
Stop trying to convince this guy to change his criteria.

I''ll quote you also.

We aren''t trying to convince him to change HIS criteria - only to consider HER in the process. She doesn''t have to go ring shopping with him - just get some idea on what she would want.

And...to go back to texanada chain analogy - maybe indeed she thought that was what you would like. Buying gifts isn''t about what YOU want the person to have. It''s about buying something the recipient would like. That''s all we are trying to say.

 

[nerdbot]

Date: 6/13/2005 9:47:51 AM
Author: fire&ice

Date: 6/13/2005 7:24:43 AM

Author: nerdbot

Stop trying to convince this guy to change his criteria.

I''ll quote you also.

We aren''t trying to convince him to change HIS criteria - only to consider HER in the process. She doesn''t have to go ring shopping with him - just get some idea on what she would want.

Ahh, ok. I stand corrected (and I agree).

 

[mrssalvo]

Oh, and that car I have to drive around for all eternity? If it was given to me with the spirit, the love and the passion of a true token of love and life-long commitment, then I'd say... 'Gimmee the keys!'

respectfully,

Bryon[/quote]



If i were going to buy my hubby a car. I would know exactly what he wanted down to the sound system speakers. Would he be happy with anything from me? Yes. But I want him to have what he wants, not what I want for him. This is also love and passion

 

[Texada]

Tenwood and Nerdbot!

Thank you for the encouraging words! I''ts nice to know that someone else out there "gets it", or at least respects my thoughts regardless of how they may be opposed by others. To everyone else, please understand that I really do appreciate your intentions in this discussion.

I have a theory here about the whole diamond issue that we have been discussing. When I first started seeing some of the posts about bigger diamonds as opposed to quality (quality in the terms of our discussion) diamonds, I thought that perhaps this is the way that 95% of women thought. After considering this, I don''t think this is true at all. It is my feeling that perhaps many women who think this way, naturally tend to aggregate to diamond forums. Just as in the way that passionate corvette owners will tend to make up 95% of the population on a corvette forum. Is this a bad thing? Of course not! It''s just not an accurate corss section of vehicle drivers and this forum is not an accurate cross section of how women in general feel.

As I have said before, I know that the girl I will be offering my symbol of committed love to, will love whatever it is, because it''s something that came from inside me! How do I know this? Because I know my girl. This symbol is between her and I, it''s something that we both see when we look into each other''s eyes. It''s something we both feel and know is there without even talking about it. It''s not something that can be described by words, nor written down on paper. It''s a symbol. A symbol is a physical representation of my feelings, my taste, my emotion. If she were to offer me something the same, then the fact that she has put her soul and passion into it, would mean more to me than ANYTHING!

It''s the emotion and soul behind the symbol. The great thing about it, is everybody''s idea of a symbol is different! For me, I would like to have my incredible feelings for this girl symbolized by the purest, most perfect stone that nature can provide.

Wow! I had no idea that asking a couple questions about culets and setting color would take us where we''ve been, but I loved the journey none-the-less!

Thank you to all who''ve contributed to the forum and also to those who have PM''d me.

Bryon

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 6/12/2005 9:17:12 AM
Author: afrodyt2000
But if you aren''t going to lie or pretend that it is D IF then I don''t see the problem. Many people here have tried to help you but you seem not very open to suggestions.

With every due respect, he doesn''t have to be open to suggestions.

He is clear on what he wants, and if it''s a compromise *to him* to settle for less, then it is. We don''t all have the same values. He didn''t come here asking if his criteria were acceptable to us....he came here looking for help.

He''s been very polite in saying "thank you for the information, but I still prefer D, IF." Why can''t that be enough?

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 6/12/2005 5:06:20 PM
Author: Jason.


Bryon,

The main point folks are making here is that for all practical purposes, there''s no difference between an F VS1 and a D IF.

There may not be a practical difference......and Texada has acknowledge that is true. But there IS a mental difference, and if he wants that mental difference, who are we to tell him he''s wrong?

You wouldn''t spend $20K on a stone......that''s you. He apparently feels comfortable doing so.....and should be able to do so without flak.

 

[valeria101]

Date: 6/13/2005 10:04:58 AM
Author: Texada

As I have said before, I know that the girl I will be offering my symbol of committed love to, will love whatever it is, because it''s something that came from inside me! How do I know this? Because I know my girl. This symbol is between her and I [...]

Well, you are right about net forums not being a representative crossection of the human race. And the couple of words underlined in your message (in bold above) may well summarize why: a story of intimate feelings that remains between two people alone better not be caught on public display.

What is mostly talked about around here (as much as I can understand) is the public image of these e-rings: what one thinks of someone else''s and what some want others to think of theirs. A forum set to defraud the profound emotions expressed by the symbolism of modern rites of passage doesn''t make sense. At least I hope so

So 1 carat D/IF it is

 

[Jason.]

Date: 6/13/2005 10:23:22 AM
Author: aljdewey

Date: 6/12/2005 5:06:20 PM

Author: Jason.



Bryon,


The main point folks are making here is that for all practical purposes, there''s no difference between an F VS1 and a D IF.

There may not be a practical difference......and Texada has acknowledge that is true. But there IS a mental difference, and if he wants that mental difference, who are we to tell him he''s wrong?

You wouldn''t spend $20K on a stone......that''s you. He apparently feels comfortable doing so.....and should be able to do so without flak.

Aljdewey,

Just trying to help clarify someone''s earlier point about F VS1 looking like D IF once mounted. That sentence you quoted was followed shortly thereafter by this one:
"However, if what you really want is a D IF stone (because it is ''the best'') then I wish you nothing but the best!"
I was also trying to find out he was looking for D IF because he wanted the ultimate in PERFORMANCE, or if he wanted the ultimate in QUALITY and RARITY (turns out it''s the latter).


To everyone:

I think Texada has clarified the point quite nicely several times: I don''t believe that he''s shopping for D IF because he thinks that it will "out-shine" an F VS1...I think it''s as he put it several times:
[The] "rarity, that''s what I find so charming! So intriguing! So romantic!"

This choice is not being made out of a lack of education, and therefore, it has moved beyond the scope of this form (sorry for the bad pun

).

I''m not betting on an absolute and complete reversal of everything he''s expressed since the beginning of this thread, so I think it would be wise to just let this choice stand, and help him find out the information he''s looking for regarding diamonds in general.

This is, after all, an educational community.

Peace.

--Jason

 

[velouriaL]

You''re right, Texada, that true diamond lovers gravitate toward forums. Many of the posters here are more education on diamonds and the diamond market than just about anyone you will ever meet, including plenty of jewelers. So I''m sure you can see why they''re a little frustrated with you.

I can''t follow your corvette analogy very well because I don''t know enough aboue corvettes, but imagine someone saying that they planned to buy a certain model of corvette, and the corvette forum saying, "Well, just so you know, if you get a different model, you can all sort of features for your money... Are you SURE your girlfriend doesn''t want air conditioning in her new car?" You know what I mean?

These ladies really know their stuff, and they just want you to make the most informed decision possible. If, after being hearing them out, you still want an D IF, great! I''m sure it will thrill your girlfriend. Congratulations!

(If you want something *really* rare, you could always look into colored stones... a 1 ct flawless paraiba tourmaline''s got to be at least as rare as a D IF, no? )

 

[Texada]

Date: 6/13/2005 12:05:14 PM
Author: velouriaL
You''re right, Texada, that true diamond lovers gravitate toward forums. Many of the posters here are more education on diamonds and the diamond market than just about anyone you will ever meet, including plenty of jewelers. So I''m sure you can see why they''re a little frustrated with you.

I can''t follow your corvette analogy very well because I don''t know enough aboue corvettes, but imagine someone saying that they planned to buy a certain model of corvette, and the corvette forum saying, ''Well, just so you know, if you get a different model, you can all sort of features for your money... Are you SURE your girlfriend doesn''t want air conditioning in her new car?'' You know what I mean?

These ladies really know their stuff, and they just want you to make the most informed decision possible. If, after being hearing them out, you still want an D IF, great! I''m sure it will thrill your girlfriend. Congratulations!

(If you want something *really* rare, you could always look into colored stones... a 1 ct flawless paraiba tourmaline''s got to be at least as rare as a D IF, no? )

Hi Velourial,

Let me try to be as succinct as I possibly can, and then I will be on my way..

I can see what you are trying to say with the corvette analogy. If I introduced myself to the forum members as I had done and then asked their opinion on what they perceive to be the ideal stone, then I would be greateful for their many and varied heartfelt submissions. However, such was not the case.

The point that you and many, many others here are missing is, I came here looking for answers to a couple of very specific questions ( and got them, thank you!). I already knew the stone I wanted. I graciously accepted other''s suggestions and tried to make my replies reflect that sentiment. After two pages of this thread, there are people who are still trying to get me to accept their vision of what a "perfect" diamond should be! And you are talking to me about frustration?!

Thank you all for an "entertaining"

couple of days, and I truly wish you the best. Whatever you may perceive that to be.

Bryon

 

[aljdewey]

Just trying to help clarify someone's earlier point about F VS1 looking like D IF once mounted. That sentence you quoted was followed shortly thereafter by this one:
'However, if what you really want is a D IF stone (because it is 'the best') then I wish you nothing but the best!'
I was also trying to find out he was looking for D IF because he wanted the ultimate in PERFORMANCE, or if he wanted the ultimate in QUALITY and RARITY (turns out it's the latter).

I know the intention was a good one, believe me.

But it struck me fairly early on from what Texada said that he wasn't making the selection due to misconceptions and lack of knowledge, and he was quite articulate several times in saying "thanks for the info, I'm aware of that but I still want this."

It just seems like folks wouldn't let it go at that.

One of the great things about this place is that there are so many folks wililng to help. Sometimes, in our zeal, though, we forget that different people value different things. Some folks are "value for the money" types; some are downright frugal, squeeze-water-from-a-nickel types. Not everyone wants a big, honking stone. Some don't even focus on biggest-for-the-money, even though that's a prevalent vibe here.

Some folks can afford big, but prefer small. Some folks know D is more expensive, but they value it and want it.

Variety is what makes the world go around.

Guidance is nice, but this thread was taking a bit of a sledgehammer approach after a bit (not you, just in general), and that's what I was speaking to.

 

[velouriaL]

Byron-
I really wasn''t trying to offend you, I was just trying to explain that a lot of people on here know SO much about diamonds that it''s hard for them to not explain to people all their options. Like, yes, you have stumbling into a world of people who are crazy for diamonds, and they just want to give you as much information as possible, so it''s frustrating when someone already their mind made up. Like, "What do you mean you''re already happy with your decision? We have so much helpful information to provide you with! PLEASE LET US BE HELPFUL!" And just how it''s funny that PS members are so fantastic and helpful and education diamond lovers that we are sort of at a loss when someone is already content with their choice. Know what I mean? I was mostly joking about "frustration," but I see, in hindsight, that it''s hard for that kind of humor to come through on a forum.

Good luck!

 

[MrsFrk]

Date: 6/13/2005 2:13:37 AM
Author: Texada

style="WIDTH: 99%; HEIGHT: 96px">Date: 6/13/2005 1:50:23 AM
Author: MrsFrk



...I got my hooks into him, bombarded him with info, and eventually, after many, many, shopping trips and conversations, talked him into buying a MUCH larger but still totally WHITE and EYECLEAN diamond, which his wife adores.

Hi MrsFrk!

So basically what you're saying, is that YOU bought the diamond! You may not have handed over the cash, but the stone and associated properties (4 c's), were what YOU believe the ideal diamond should be, instead of her husband. Oh, Okay. And you and you're conscience are okay with this?

Date: 6/13/2005 1:50:23 AM
Author: MrsFrk

...She would be delighted to be his wife no matter what, and a smaller diamond would not have affected her 'Yes!'

Then why not let her husband offer a stone that he was passionate about?

Bryon

Yes. My conscience is quite okay with it. More importantly, SHE is quite okay with it. They had been dating for 6 years, and I knew her very well, knew her tastes and preferences very well.

Quite honestly, if it weren't for my input (which he asked for) she would have ended up with a small (for their peer group) diamond in yellow gold, in a style that was not her at ALL. My friend is a great guy, but he was UTTERLY clueless about what SHE might want. I appreciate that you want to give your fiancee a stone you are passionate about, but she is the one who is going to be wearing it. And if you are so invested in this, than if it ends up not being a ring she will want to wear forever, I can't imagine you would be receptive to her upgrading in the future. I'm just saying that I think it is very important for you to find a happy medium of the qualities you are passionate about and the ones that she is. I'm not hearing much from you about her preferences.

In any case, the purchase is ultimately your decision. And the ring is, quite frankly, beside the point. I hope that you have many happy healthy years of marriage together.

 

[afrodyt2000]

Date: 6/13/2005 10:21:08 AM
Author: aljdewey

Date: 6/12/2005 9:17:12 AM

Author: afrodyt2000

But if you aren''t going to lie or pretend that it is D IF then I don''t see the problem. Many people here have tried to help you but you seem not very open to suggestions.

With every due respect, he doesn''t have to be open to suggestions.

He is clear on what he wants, and if it''s a compromise *to him* to settle for less, then it is. We don''t all have the same values. He didn''t come here asking if his criteria were acceptable to us....he came here looking for help.


He''s been very polite in saying ''thank you for the information, but I still prefer D, IF.'' Why can''t that be enough?

Actually if you read my second response to Texada, you''d see that I conceded this point and realized that generally knowing what you want and sticking to it is not a bad thing. I myself am usually stubborn, I can''t/shouldn''t criticize someone else for the same thing.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 6/13/2005 8:20:56 PM
Author: afrodyt2000



Actually if you read my second response to Texada, you'd see that I conceded this point and realized that generally knowing what you want and sticking to it is not a bad thing. I myself am usually stubborn, I can't/shouldn't criticize someone else for the same thing.

My post wasn't directed at you, personally.....it was simply an addition to the many posts here.

I think there were actually a few posts suggesting the same thing - yours just happened to be the shortest/easiest to point to. No worries.

 

[burnban35]

I’m still reeling over the fact that I asked for a little help finding a matching band for an e-ring and received only one reply and numerous views to my post and this thread has hit 3 pages. Am I in the right Forum?

For Texada - My Sister-in-Law has a 1.5 carat near colorless IF. After reading the forums and learning an awful lot about the 4C’s (although nowhere near an expert), I''m hardly impressed with the IF factor of her diamond and I haven’t even seen it. But I must say, when I asked her about it the first thing she told me was “It’s Flawless”. We were over the IM but I could still tell she just "lit up" when she told me. It was given to her by her husband without her input. If she had done the research I have done (while my husband tagged along – as he jokes) would she be just as happy with a lower clarity, higher color, better cut diamond that would rock her diamond’s world? Probably not, hers is "Flawless".

As you said earlier "Asking a woman to wear a symbol of love and commitment that is a physical manifestation of a man''s inner self..." I say...If your lady thinks your Flawless (and most women in love do) go for it. (I''ve been married 17 years and have found out over time that my husband happens to be very slightly included but that makes me love him even more.)

I’m glad to see you that you have had an overwhelming response to your post.

Michelle/Burnban35’s wife.