whether or not she will be turned off

[mcspeakeasy]

I have the setting all planned out and she has no idea what is happening. all she knows is that we are going to a fancy restaurant and she needs to dress up. i''m taking her on a cruise of the Boston harbor and I am planning on proposing to her when the time is right during the cruise. there is one catch though. at this point in my life (graduate student) I don''t have enough to put down enough money to get a daimond ring that I know she would like because I don''t have enough funds. What I am contemplating is buying an engagement ring without the main daimond and a Cubic Zirc. that looks exactly as the the other ring. I plan to explain to her that of course it is only a CZ, but the actual engagement ring is a sign that I intend to follow through. is this worthwhile or should i just wait, my gf and I constantly talk about getting married and there are no regrets on either of our sides about that possibility.

i know this is a long message but can someone please help me out? I plan to propose to her the night of Sept 2nd, and i''m hella excited.

 

[Lorelei]

Difficult to say and welcome by the way

IMO I think it is a lovely idea to give her a tangible symbol of your love by setting the CZ into a ring. There are no rules that say you have to propose with a ring, but I think if a girl is newly engaged it is great for her to have a ring to show from her beloved, even if it is a CZ - as everyone asks to see it when the engagement is announced. As to whether she will be turned off by a CZ - you know her best but if it was me I would be delighted to receive a CZ as a temporary engagement ring along with a promise for the real thing later! Does the ultimate ring have to have a diamond? If she has her heart set on a diamond this might be the WTG. I think it is lovely that you are putting so much thought into making the proposal memorable for her, but remember that as wonderful and significant as diamond rings are, you can still get happily engaged without one and get one later when finances allow. I know this for a fact as it happened to me! If you go the CZ route, remember she will probably treasure the CZ as much if not more than any diamond you buy in the future - as that was the stone you actually proposed with! You are doing the right thing in not going into huge debt to do this, you will have plenty of time later on to shower her with diamonds - it is the sentiment of asking her to share your life that is important. I can totally understand that you would love nothing more than to surprise your GF with a beautiful diamond, but it will happen soon and I wish you lots of luck with your proposal and hope she says YES!

Meanwhile you have come to the right place to ask for advice on diamonds!! You may be able to find one for a lot less than you think from a PS vendor in the above PS your diamonds. What will your budget be and what are you looking for? Just thinking some of the experts here may be able to help you source something. If you would like , post this info and many here will go to work on your behalf! Good luck!

 

[WTNLVR]

Some women HATE cz''s. What about propsing with a token cheap cz solitaire and then after she sais yes have her pick out a ring with you. I was in a similiar situation way back when and I told my then to be husband that given what we could afford in diamonds, I would rather have a sapphire e-ring and then when money wasn''t such an object we could upgrade. I am not sentimental about my original e-ring I just feel that any ring worn on the ring finger is a symbol of our commitment. Some women feel they have to wear the ring they were proposed to for the rest of their life (nothing wrong with that). I would also recc. letting her pick out the ring no matter what, unless you know she wants a certain style. I''ve heard from tons of ladies that they wished they had had a say in picking out the ring because they didn''t like it, but didn''t want to hurt the guys feelings. So, they get stuck with a ring they never like. JMHO

 

[mcspeakeasy]

thank you so much for you responses. oddly enough, we have talked a lot about styles and I had a chance to ask her what kind of style ring setting she liked and this was more than a year ago, so I don''t think she keeps that conversation at the very tip of her head.

I like the idea too of having a ring available for her to wear even if it is a CZ. I know she''s not paticular about having the best of the best or anything like that and in fact she jokes around saying that she prefers the fake "bling bling" as opposed to the real bling bling. lo. I know that I want to eventually get her a 2 ct. daimond, but exactly the 4C''s is beyond me at the moment. I think I will definitely take your suggestion WTNLVR and maybe go shopping with her the next day asking her if the ring setting is okay or if we should return the engagement ring or what the next step should be. Lorelei, thank you as well for your insight and motivation! Thank you so much for all of your help and reassurance its calming me a bit but I''m still so anxious.

 

[saturn]

Another option to consider would be to set a non-diamond gemstone (like sapphire) in the setting you know she likes.
That way it doesn''t seem like you''re trying to fool anyone, but it''s still cheaper than a diamond.
I think that might be what I would prefer, if it were me.

Welcome to Pricescope! Your proposal plan sounds lovely and very thoughtful.
Best of luck with whatever you decide.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I agree with Saturn and think you should get her a gemstone or you could get her a wedding band (1/2 eternity or something ) and then get her the e-ring for the wedding. I know it''s in reverse but I think it would be sentimental and that way she can always wear the ring you purposed with on her finger.

 

[Blue824]

Date: 8/25/2005 9:27:47 PM
Author: saturn
Another option to consider would be to set a non-diamond gemstone (like sapphire) in the setting you know she likes.
That way it doesn''t seem like you''re trying to fool anyone, but it''s still cheaper than a diamond.
I think that might be what I would prefer, if it were me.

Welcome to Pricescope! Your proposal plan sounds lovely and very thoughtful.
Best of luck with whatever you decide.

I like Saturn''s idea!
Haha, I''m really no help other than I really like that idea the best

Good luck with your proposal - the cruise sounds very romantic!

 

[jellybean]

Date: 8/26/2005 12:13:53 AM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I agree with Saturn and think you should get her a gemstone or you could get her a wedding band (1/2 eternity or something ) and then get her the e-ring for the wedding. I know it''s in reverse but I think it would be sentimental and that way she can always wear the ring you purposed with on her finger.

I like the idea of the 1/2 eternity band b/c of the sentiment behind it. My husband is very sentimental and was not thrilled with the fact that I changed my original e-ring.

Personally, I would much rather have a band with small diamonds than a big gemstone. Just not into colored stones I guess, nor would I want a CZ. But that''s just me. Given the choice, I would like the diamond band.

Another thing to consider if you go with the CZ route is that they will wear down over time. Now if you plan on buying her a 2ct rock in a year from now, the CZ may hold up OK, but they tend to really lose their luster after a while.

 

[flutterby]

I am having my engagement ring with a colored gemstone (a ruby) and it certainly wasnt considerably cheaper than a diamond (just over $10,000 for the stone). Although you could do a colored stone it is a misconception that they are that much cheaper. In order to get anything of quality you will spend significant money.

I really like the idea of getting a band, and allowing for the time to save the money for the engagement ring. For me it has been incredibly meaningful to participate in the selection. It is something incredibly important and it is one of the first decisions that make you husband and wife.

I honestly, would not want a CZ. I would definately feel like a fraud. Not everyone shares my feelings, and she may not, but a 3/4 pave band would get across the sentiment you want and allow to save for the real thing, just my 2 cents.

 

[LadyluvsLuxury]

I agree with the other posters, personally I would not want a CZ, and although your girlfriend jokes about wanting the fake instead of the real thing, the truth is when she becomes engaged the center of everyone''s attention is the ring (this is from my personal experience). And I would not feel comfortable continuously telling everyone that my stone isn''t real, or conversely lying and saying it was or misleading people to think that is was. So I like the gemstone idea (although you might want to price some out first), the band idea is a good idea as well, but I would think this would depend upon whether or not you will be able to purchase the diamond in time for the wedding, or I guess you could purchase a second band...not sure how you would do that. When hubby and I got engaged (back in the day

, ok not THAT long ago) anyway my engagement ring was a $300 invisible set princess shape stone with baguettes on the sides, everyone thought it was sooooo huge b/c it appeared to be a large stone in everyday viewing but of course when someone would look really close they could see it was little stones bunched together. But they were just fascinated with it! Maybe this is something to consider? I wear a size 7 on my ring finger and so .50 carat stones and under just did not look right on me so we needed the apperance of a large stone on our itty bitty budget

Try looking into that if it interest you. Of course since we do not know exactly what your budget is it is hard to make any specific recommendations. Goodluck!

 

[MissAva]

What about an old fashioned e-ring? The older english tradtion was to give a silver ring upon engagement and later a gold wedding band when married. Would she like that? I put a picture of the one my SO gave me the first time he told me he was going to marry me. I love this ring, and it warms me whenever I see it. (Waiting for the final ring

) Ring Web Page They can be found at several places on-line (with other tradtional phrases) and I know he bought mine and the Museum Company Store.
This way she could have a tangible thing on her hand, a romantic story and still be part of the decision making process.

 

[MissAva]

Oh these rings vary in price from about 40$ in sterling silver to about 500 for platnium.

 

[BrightSpot]

If you wind up going the CZ route, here''s a thought. Check out HouMedGal''s story:

"The Cashmere is basically Michael E''s high-end simulant. The material he uses for the Cashmere stones is slightly colored so that in sizes up to about 2 carats it mimics a G/H colored diamond, and in larger weights it starts to look more I/J ish. He carefully hand cuts his stones and I believe he adds some extra facets along the pavilion for the sparkle factor!!
Since we''re both students living on loans, my BF and I decided to get the semi-mount done exactly how we want it to permanently be (in white gold with the diamond sidestones), and use a Cashmere that is of the same size as the diamond we ultimately want to put in my ring. So when we can better afford a 1.25 ct diamond we''ll exchange it for the Cashmere, and I''ll probably contact Michael E. again about making something nice with the Cashmere!"

Her ring is just stunning--she has the setting of her dreams & she''ll be able to swap the Cashmere for a diamond when finances permit.

http://www.pricescope.com/forum/steam-room/my-ring-is-done-t28444.html

 

[VuittonGal]

Personally, I''d be turned off by a CZ. How soon did you plan on replacing it with a diamond? I would hold off.

 

[VuittonGal]

Oopsie, I just read the reply suggesting the half eternity band and then the engagement ring for the wedding. Great idea!!!!

 

[ivanadiamond]

I personally would rather have a gorgeous band, like one from Signed Pieces and then get an engagement ring later. I told my bf at the time, I would obviously be happy with anything, but if money was an issue, I preferred a band to a small diamond or cz...that being said, if your gf doesn''t mind one like she told you, then you should do whatever would make her the most happy. She might prefer to show off a fake diamond ring and you can replace it later with a real diamond. Aren''t mossenite (sp?) diamonds supposed to look super real?

 

[tawn]

I agree with the diamond eternity band plan...I believe Ben Affleck gave Jennifer Garner one for their engagement, and Marilyn Monroe got one as well! Definitely better than a CZ in my book!

 

[Lorelei]

These are all great ideas, but I am just thinking if what she would really like is a diamond

maybe it would be better to hold off on any other "real" stone and put the money towards the 2 carat she really wants eventually? Maybe she would truly be happier to get the CZ as a substitute and wait for the real deal - maybe the money would be better saved towards the actual diamond as even coloured stones aren't cheap, but you know her best and only you can judge! Or maybe get a much smaller diamond from a vendor with a trade up policy and go from there as your savings grow? Whatever happens you sound like a very sweet guy who is really doing his best to make your GF happy. See if you can sneakily get a little more input from her, maybe take her shopping and try to judge how she really feels - everyone is different, or you could actually ask her if all else fails about the CZ idea. Whatever you decide to do - remember a ring is wonderful and significant - but it is the two of you wanting to spend your lives together that matters much more than the ring! As I said in an earlier post, we got engaged without a ring and had to wait a long time until we could get even a tiny one, but I have more beautiful diamonds now than I could have ever dreamed of!! The 2 carat will come in time, meanwhile try to get some input from her. I still think a CZ would be pretty, if that is truly what she wants, I am not a fan of coloured stones so maybe I am biased and I can understand someone preferring them, but she is the one who will be wearing the ring. As it seems that she would love a solitaire style from what you are saying, maybe she woudn't be too keen on an eternity band, and that would again take a bit of money you could put towards the diamond she ultimately wants? Good luck and remember whatever you decide, or decide between you will be right and your love and commitment is the most important thing!

 

[BrightSpot]

mcspeakeasy, you''re gotten a lot of good suggestions, but this is a very personal choice. Is there any way you can find out your gf''s feelings on the issue?

 

[sxn675]

What are your birthstones? Do they go well together? Another idea would be to propose with a ring with both of your birthstones and get the other ring later. I like the eternity band idea also though. Then you can give her the solitaire for her wedding

 

[thebanjodog]

matatora, did you have to e-mail for the prices or did i miss something on the sight of the poesy rings? thanks! banjo

 

[MissAva]

Date: 9/5/2005 5:39:33 PM
Author: thebanjodog
matatora, did you have to e-mail for the prices or did i miss something on the sight of the poesy rings? thanks! banjo

Which prices do you want? I can post links to any of them if you want me to. Just let me know.

 

[thebanjodog]

the lawyer rings. thanks. banjo

 

[MissAva]

The lawyer rings?

 

[thebanjodog]

i took the link you provided and looked at the poesy rings. farther down the page there were lawyer rings. i wished to purchase one as a gift. ss prices were the ony available. banjo

 

[MissAva]

Oh I am sorry I dont know about those. I was able to find the one I have...I will look though.

 

[MissAva]

Post the picture or title of the one and I will see if I can locate it...sorry forgot to ask which one.

 

[thebanjodog]

thanks matatora! i was interested in a gold one for my daughter who is an attorney. i am not that computer savvy and don''t know how to post a picture. i could have given the name but decided to make it easier and just send her a link to ask if she likes it. if she does she can search it out and i will pay for it. i appreciate your help. banjo

 

[ame]

SO what happened?

 

[jcrow]

personally, i am going against the grain here and saying go CZ. i would personally prefer a larger to be replaced cz than a really small diamond or something colored anyday. that''s just me.