When to propose...early, middle, or late?

[rmkwebdesign]

OK...here''s my situation. I''m planning on proposing soon...within the next two weeks, actually! So, it''s an exciting time. I know what evening I''m going propose, and other events that evening, but I keep going back and forth on WHEN I should propose that evening. Here''s the plan-in-progress:

I know where I''d like to take my gf for dinner. I also have tickets to the Symphony that night for after dinner. And finally, caveat #3 is that I''m am not a propose in public/at the restaurant kind of guy. I want the proposal time to be relatively in private.

So...here are some of the things I''ve considered. My first thought was that it would be really cool for her to be able to wear her brand new e-ring to the Symphony that night. All dressed up, and with a new ring. Seems to me like that would be rather stylish! However, that presents a problem of "where" to propose between dinner and the Symphony, because I don''t want to do it at the restaurant. And that means we''d need to make another stop in-between restaurant and Symphony, and I don''t think we''ll have the time to do that. It would be pretty rushed. I could propose pre-dinner, but that would be also kind of rushed I think. I pick her up at her house, propose, and "lets get dinner" doesn''t sound very good.

So...then I thought I could skip the idea of parading the ring at the Symphony...perhaps I could propose at intermission. The first half of the Symphony concert is a pretty romantic piano work (Rachmaninoff''s "Variations on Theme by Paganini" for all you in the know), so it would be kind of sweet to propose after listening to that, perhaps during intermission. And she could wear the ring for the rest of the night at the Symphony. But...where would I propose that would be anywhere semi-private? And again, a 10 minute intermission would be kind of rushed.

So...now the Symphony is over. It''s nearly 10 o''clock. Now what? Where to go? Normal MO following date would be either to get coffee at a place like Starbucks or for me just to drive her back to her family''s home to drop her off. So, a departure from the routine would be kind of strange, and I''m not exactly sure where we''d go at that time of night. In the past, once arriving back at her house, we''ve sometimes gone for a walk in the neighborhood, and we could do that and I could propose to her. But, it would be dark outside, not much light for the ring to sparkle, and we''d just be in the middle of a subdivision...just standing in the street! And, by this time, we''ll both be a little more on the hagard side than when we were all bright and cheery at 6 p.m. that evening.

So...any suggestions from all you armchair quarterbacks?! Send them!

 

[door knob solitaire]

He he he...and all along I thought I was a back seat driver...Ok I''ll play ball!

With your evening schedule, as jam packed as it is...I too like the Symphony idea. After learning about you...this suggestion is not your style...but it is an option. Would you call the Music Hall and tell the curator-manager of your dilemma? Ask if there is some place private you can have access, for this momentous event.

I think his/her heart will be melted and ever so willing to assist. Again...you can emphasis the non public thing...and they will oblige knowing you want it to be under wraps. But you know...you may be surprised how willing managers are to make their patrons experience beyond expectations...you just may end up with something even you couldn''t have dreamed.

Access to a private box or someplace secluded just may be available, just for asking. It is worth a shot. Why wait for an intermission if you are in a private area...can you imagine you and Rachmaninoff doing the purposing? Oh be still my heart...I can. Why not make that piece YOURS. (and later... For a wedding gift, a music box with that piece). As for time...not knowing the variation...Paganini Rhapsody should be at least 18 to 20 minutes in length, shouldn''t it?

*If no suggestions are offered ( I am just sure there will be), ask if you could somehow have permission to linger about after...and with access to the stage...while you are both in shock that you are there...you go down on one knee? And viola! Yes, it is possible someone may be within eye shot...it may not be completely private...but enough that there is no MAJOR audience.

Oh, Won''t you make the call (operators are standing by...

), ...please?

DKS

I would prefer to have the proposal later in my evening. If I had it early...everything that followed would be downhill, as nothing could top it! The attire, the event, the music...there is so much excitement...the crescendo will be your proposal.

 

[door knob solitaire]

There is nothing in wrong in returning Cinderella home earlier than normal. She is after all going to be your bride. What I am trying to express you don''t have to plan anything beyond what you have. Her excitement she may ask you to take her on a tour of friends, or grandparents or ...just Dennys Restaurant to show off her ring.

Let the rest fall into place. Don''t drive yourself crazy over planning every last minute. Really. You have a winning ticket here!!!!

DKS

 

[awenuts]

I would definitely do it early. That way you both have the whole evening to enjoy the fact that you are engaged and make the events of that evening more special. If you wait until towards the end of the night, your whole night would be concentrated on making sure everything goes right for your suprise for her later that evening. Not to mention, according to my girl, the one mistake that guys ALWAYS make on the night they are going to propose is they always fidget/play with the ring in their pocket or make unconcious hints of what is about to come. So if you really want to surprise her that night and make a memorable night for both of you, do it early in the evening. Not to mention she is all dressed up for the night anyways, that diamond on her finger will truly make her feel like a princess the whole evening.

 

[rmkwebdesign]

LOL ^^ 1 vote for early, 1 vote for late! Both are good comments...more please from anyone?

 

[door knob solitaire]

Ah...but Awenuts vote has experience behind it...my vote is just made up in fairy tale land...or in my imagination which is about the same

.

He makes some VERY strong points, I had not thought of.

DKS

 

[Ellen]

Date: 9/20/2007 3:05:41 PM
Author: awenuts
I would definitely do it early. That way you both have the whole evening to enjoy the fact that you are engaged and make the events of that evening more special. If you wait until towards the end of the night, your whole night would be concentrated on making sure everything goes right for your suprise for her later that evening. Not to mention, according to my girl, the one mistake that guys ALWAYS make on the night they are going to propose is they always fidget/play with the ring in their pocket or make unconcious hints of what is about to come. So if you really want to surprise her that night and make a memorable night for both of you, do it early in the evening. Not to mention she is all dressed up for the night anyways, that diamond on her finger will truly make her feel like a princess the whole evening.

Ditto, with a capitol D.

Wait, I already did that.

 

[Haven]

I would definitely propose early on in the evening. My FI just proposed last Saturday and he did it before we went to a Rush concert (I know, I know, but it''s his favorite band so what am I to do?) Anyway, the fact that he proposed was enough to make a Rush concert exciting for me, ME, the girl who loves Paul Simon and the Indigo Girls!

We were giddy the entire night, I stared at the incredible sparkles shooting from my left hand in the concert lights, and we had hours and hours to bask in the afterglow of the proposal. I think the fact that you''re doing something so romantic that night will amplify the proposal and turn it into an hours-long affair of shock and awe. So here''s a vote for early.

However, let me say that whenever you do it will be the "right" time, because you''ll be proposing, and it will be wonderful. (Can you tell I still have some of that afterglow stuck on me?)

Good luck!

 

[Breezee]

You should do it early. I couldn''t imagine, as a guy, having to go the entire evening already on a tight schedule trying to figure how, when, and where I would propose. It would make what is supposed to be a very special night, very stressful. I would plan dinner a little earlier than usual and have time to make a quick stop somewhere to propose. Or better yet, pick her up early and go to whatever location, propose to get it out the way, and go on with the rest of the evening enjoying each other. But if you can swing a favor from the manager at the opera, that would be quite memorable. I just think you would be nervous and uneasy all evening waiting to propose.

 

[jakesgirl2]

Another vote for Early is better. My FI did it last week and he did it first at the start of the night and the rest of the night was spent celebrating, dinner and everything else we did... We both agreed that if he had done it later in the evening we would have had less time to bask in the glow and celebrate and he would have been on edge all evening and would have hardly remembered anything that happened that night up until the proposal.

 

[Independent Gal]

Another vote for early.

HOWEVER, I''m going to just cut in here and say that I don''t think I would really want to go to the Symphony the night I got engaged. It''s like, there are so few moments in one''s life that are characterized by unmitigated joy, you don''t need anything distracting from that, and you should enjoy EVERY second of it. So, I wonder if you could go to the Symphony the NEXT night? I mean, do it reaaaaaally early? So that you can spend the night of the proposal gazing into each others'' eyes and being giddy. The night my FI proposed, he took me out to dinner (with the ring on my finger) and it was one of the most wonderful nights of our lives. Anything where we had to be passive (like listening to the symphony) would have taken away from that I think.

 

[CrookedRock]

I really love door knobs idea of doing it during the beginning of the Symphony while the beautiful, romantic music is playing! Definitely call and see if you can get to somewhere private so that you can say what you want to say. I agree that the restaurant proposal isn''t so unique, it wouldn''t be my personal preference unless you rented out the entire place... (I like the impossible...lol!)

Can''t wait to hear what you choose! And make sure you bring pics of that thing after you put it on her finger! Congrats! Good Luck!

 

[scogar]

Haven''t read any responses yet but I will do so after mine. I wanted to give you unadulterrated thoughts....1st, no sense before cuz why would you need to go to the symphony? She will be mentally somewhere else. Same goes for intermission but less so because maybe just maybe you want her to have it occur in that venue. Me, I would have some form of attraction occur after the symphony. Maybe a limo ride or even a horse and carriage ride from the symphony to a nice romantic inn or bar or something. Something above and beyond a car ride or a bus ride from the symphony and better than Starbucks.

But that''s just me!

 

[somethingshiny]

I vote for first. She''s going to want to show off her ring all night. It would be a disappointment if she didn''t have anyone to "catch" taking glances at her new beauty. And, imagine the all night snugglefest!