Ladies: A Proposal with Faux Ring?

[Rankin]

OK. I want to propose on Christmas. I have visited the B&M stores and what a rip off. I dont want to buy from a chain store jeweler and besides, I want her to have a say in her ring and stone.

So, my thought was to get a CZ or some other type of Faux ring for proposal and of course let her know that the ring and stone selection is her choice (we''ll do it together).

So, is this acceptable or would this be rude?

Is this just a bad idea all together? Should I just buy a ring of my choice and let that be that?


Let me know if you have some thoughts.

 

[vespergirl]

I think it''s a better idea to propose with no ring but tell her that you will buy her one right away, you just wanted her to be able to pick out what she wants. Most girls would prefer that to getting a ring that they don''t love. There are many threads on here from girls trying to tell their guys that they don''t love the engagement ring the guy picked out.

I don''t love the idea of proposing with a CZ - it''s a little tacky to me - I''d rather wait a couple of weeks to get a real diamond on my finger. She doesn''t want to show off a CZ to her friends.

 

[Rankin]

The ring is not "the ring". I mean, it could be from a gumball machine. I think that no ring at all is not cool. I was kind of hoping that it would be kind of a cute thing. Trust me, we are not limited on funds and she will get just about whatever she wants.

The intention is not to try to pass off something cheap as the real deal but just to say, I love you, will you marry me. I think if there is no ring at all something is lost in the meaning.. know what I mean?

I guess I need to get busy and buy the real deal.

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Instead of a CZ, perhaps it''s worth considering:

(1) getting an irish claddaugh ring (no stones) as a symbolic ring/placeholder; or

(2) if you have the personality to pull it off, put a ring-shaped twist tie in a traditional velvet box and propose on bended knee-- so there''s no illusion that it''s not something else and makes it plain-on-it''s-face that a proper diamond selection is soon to follow?

Assuming your girl is no shrinking violet, a twist-tie could be a very funny and touching thing to show around during the holiday season, and no one will assume that you intended a twist-tie to be on her finger until the day she dies!

 

[vespergirl]

Maybe you could buy the ring from a jeweler with a 100% trade-up policy, and just get her a nice round brilliant solitaire in a white gold setting, which is a popular, classic choice. Tell her that if she prefers a different stone or setting, you could trade it in. I suggested white gold for the temp setting because you usually can''t trade in the setting, so that won''t be a huge expense lost if she wants a more ornate setting.

Or, I think a lot of jewelers have a 30-day return period. So, you could propose with a classic-type ring, and then exchange it for something else if she wanted something else.

But, if you haven''t already, you should ask her best friend what she wants - I bet that she knows!

I have a girlfriend whos fiance proposed with a setting that she loved, but didn''t have time to find & buy a nice diamond to go in it. So, he just got the setting & put a CZ in it, and they picked out a diamond together after the engagement, and she was happy with that.

 

[SoonToBeEngagedGuy]

I had a friend who proposed with one of those huge lollipop rings for the same reasons that you''ve stated above. I think it is fine to do it that way. Oh, and so did his eventual wife!

As a matter of fact I debated it for a long time whether or not to do something similar myself. To be honest, if it wasn''t for the fact that my close friend had done something so similar I probably would have.

At the end of the day the ring (hopefully people on this forum won''t kill me) is immaterial. It is the words that you say during your proposal and the way that you''ll live your life together that counts.

Good luck.

 

[gwendolyn]

A friend of mine proposed with one of those gigantic fake diamond rings--he had the real ring in waiting, but if you wanted to be cute you could do something like that and then tell her to choose her ring, maybe?

I have a giant fake diamond ring keychain--I was thinking something like this:

 

[Rhea]

I don''t like the idea of a CZ ring because you''ll still spend money on the ring metal (gold, platinum, whatever) and then immediately not using it. What about a blue piece of jewellery - something that she''d keep and use as her something blue at the wedding? Or a funky silver ring that she''d keep and enjoy? Or a mood ring or some other novelty ring? I personally like the candy called Ring Pops so that gets my vote A strawberry one, they''re the prettiest and tastiest.

 

[Rankin]

OK, lets scrap the whole Faux idea!! lets go for the real deal. I like the six prong heavy Tiffany setting. Do you think this diamond is too small? Whitflash Diamond How big should an engagement ring be? Ladies, do you prefer quantity over quality?

I think these are good numbers?? I think that I would like to keep my cap around $10,000.

What do you think?

 

[mirre]

In my case proposing with a temporary ring, unless it was a cute little twist tie, ring pop or something like that would not be the best solution because what I am proposed to with will be what I want forever, so a solitaire tiffany ring would not be traded-in it would stay put... for sentimental reasons.

I know you want to be able to give her some kind of ring but would you be opposed to purchasing the diamond, putting it in a ring box and tell her you want her to help you pick out its home (the setting)?

 

[peridot83]

Those are great numbers; it''s an awesome diamond and among my friends/family HUGE. Size is all relative though. Do you know the size of her friends/close relatives of the same age rings...and what she had to say about them? Among some people 1 carat is huge, among others it varies.

If you want to go bigger, common wisdom around this board is you can go down to an "I" safely. (I have a soft spot for Gs though =P).

 

[vespergirl]

Hi Rankin, that''s a beautiful stone, and a great size. I love the 6-prong Tiffany setting too - I would have gotten that myself if it sat flush with my band.

The only thing that I would suggest is that you could always go down in clarity to an SI1 - my stone is a G SI1 and you can''t see ANY inclusions without looking really hard through the loupe - it''s totally eye-clean. I had an F VS1 asscher before, so I was hesitant to go down in clarity to an SI1, but I''m so glad that I did - why spend money on something that you can''t see, right? I do like whiter stones, though, so I think that staying with a G color is a good idea. Also, I hear that Whiteflash has beautiful diamonds & great service.

 

[HollyS]

If you must propose with a ring, and you want her to choose the diamond/setting, then choose a ring which can become a treasured RHR later on. Make it a sapphire, tanzanite, amethyst, topaz, something other than a CZ. Or buy a fabulous diamond (find out what shapes she likes first) and have it put in a temporary gold setting so she can have it reset after the proposal.

No one should ever, except with full knowledge and approval of intended fiance (like SDL) give a CZ to their girlfried as an engagement ring. Not even a temporary one.

 

[DiamanteBlu]

One thing you might consider is to get something that she would wear anyway, perhaps on her right hand, to temporarily hold the place of the diamond ring you will pick together. Perhaps one of the heavy Cariter rolling rings [I still "need" one of those - LOL!] or, perhaps an eternity ring of some kind. I would not do a CZ [unless you agree that she needs a travel ring].

 

[door knob solitaire]

I say no to faux! (I was at Lowes last week and the clerk was telling me that people come in all the time and ask where the FOX wood blinds are. I thought I was going to split a rib laughing so hard! They mean faux of course...faux wood!!)

I hate to coach you on deception...and starting your married life on a scam. But is there anyway your proposal can just be spur of the moment and no Hoop La plans? You know like the emotion just came over you and you didn''t have time to prepare? Like the way the moonlight is caressing your hair I realized how beautiful you are and how much I love you and...I should have made arrangements to have a ring...

Or this Christmas I realized how happy I am with you in my life and no need to wait for me to find a ring...you know something that explains it before you ask?

If on the other hand she has a sense of humor and is happy go lucky...the candy ring would be the only faux I would use. Well...there are huge paperweights that are diamond rings..,like Gwen suggested. But I say nix the non engagement ring. I would be sad and disappointed to see something I think you think is an engagement ring. I realize it would be a split second until you are able to explain...but you have to understand a second is but a thousand years when you are staring at a NON REAL engagement ring. Unless it is obvious it is a token or placement ring. §

 

[Sparkalicious]

Date: 12/18/2007 1:48:15 PM
Author: Rankin
OK, lets scrap the whole Faux idea!! lets go for the real deal. I like the six prong heavy Tiffany setting. Do you think this diamond is too small? Whitflash Diamond How big should an engagement ring be? Ladies, do you prefer quantity over quality?

I think these are good numbers?? I think that I would like to keep my cap around $10,000.

What do you think?

Hi Rankin!

That''s a beautiful diamond! Nice choice!

Personally, I prefer quality over quantity ... or better yet, a fine balance between the two. I wanted a diamond over a carat and under 1.5 but I was not willing to compromise on color, clarity or cut to get it. I think the diamond you have posted, is a great example of achieving this balance. $10k is a healthy budget for a diamond for what you appear to be looking at.

I like the idea of the ring pop to an extent ... if your girl will be receptive to that. It is kind of exciting b/c she kind of gets the best of both worlds. She gets the surprise proposal, however, both of you get to embark on the wonderful experience of educating yourselves and selecting a diamond and setting that you both love. It has been a fantastic experience for me and my bf ... I just haven''t been proposed to yet.

Good luck to you

Let us know what you decide.

 

[golden]

I want to pick out my own ring unless i was given a gorgeous solitaire (and of course you could add side stones). Do you know what she wants?? do you know that she would want 6 prong, maybe she would like 4 prong. Does she want the stone set high or low? I am just ULTRA picky...I think the CANDY RING POP is so fun and adorable and so is that ultra large diamond key ring.

 

[Rhea]

1.2 is definitely not too small by my friends and family.

Have you nixed the idea of proposing without a ring and then picking a ring together so you can get a better idea of what she''s willing to wear for the rest of her life?

 

[sweetjettagirl04]

If you''re ready to propose to her, why not order the ring and give her the real thing? That would mean more to me, personally. Or, if you want to involve her, propose to her and then let her be involved in the process. I''ve seen several stories on here where that happened, and the most recent one on SMTR, the guy proposed again after getting the completed ring, and it was a spectacular story to read.

Oh, and by all means go quality over quantity.