hey guys! i now REALLY need your help!

[myolsiemse]

the guys who were gonna work with me on my cartoon...well bailed and its all good cause i talked to her and when i brought up the idea she was like for that price babe we can put the money towards something else he he he a little red box with a rolling ring maybe...i love her but sometimes shes so darn cute when she jokes around HA HA well anyway...i asked well what would your critera be for your perfect proposal?

and she listed these things:

1. have our friends there
2. let it be US not over elaborate, and fancy
3. make me laugh and make me cry, make me fall in love with you all over again
4. catch it on film....

so....

what you guys got....help cause its coming up and i need ideas this is what i got...

take her to my sister and brother in laws place for dinner (we go alot so it wont seem outa the blue and weird) and in the middle or towards the end a friend of our wouild be downstairs and turn the power to the house off...then i would have 14 of our closest friends line up out side with the letters..."em will you marry me?" these letters would be wrapped in white christmas lights, so that all she sees in the dark are those magic words....then inside i would have her girlsfriends, parents, and other vIp's waiting with a dozen roses each....what do you think???

i guess the reason i need help is cause ive never been the romantic tyoe and i want to pull out all the stops and WOW her...

 

[yarrmatey]

That sounds really cute - but you gotta be careful because she might freak out for a minute when the power goes off about checking the fuse box, or finding flashlights and/or candles right away. That''s what I would do.

I would definitely have your brother-in-law ready to take charge and be like "oh I''ll go check on this" and say to her "Why don''t we go wait outside [or in whatever room you want to take her to]?"

That sounds really memorable though!

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Very sweet!!

 

[door knob solitaire]

Sweetie, you are such a great guy to try to come up with something unique and special. Your plan sounds like a winner!!

I just have a problem with the girls you guys are proposing too...why they are making you jump through all these hoops to win the prize. You are not the only one that has a shopping list to accommodate a girlfriend. And yes, I am sure yours is one in a million and the love of your life...I am just disappointed in women today that think they are some sort of game prize and can only be won by a certain carat of diamond...a certain way of asking...it just saddens me.

What happened to a girl realizing that the guy is the prize? Well, if it is any consolation to you...I think your fretting so much and planning to the extent you are should be sufficient. I think you are THE PRIZE!!! Make her fall in love all over again? Argghh. What about at 3 in the morning when you will make a trip to the pharmacy for her? Or when you scrape the ice off her windshield before she leaves for work...or you holding her hand as she sits at an ailing Grandmothers bed...YOU ARE COMMITTING A LIFETIME of love to her...WHAY ISN''T THAT ENOUGH?

I don''t remember if it was here on not...but some guy proposed to this...girl...and her answer was IT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Do it again. Make me swoon. What???

I realize I am raining on your parade...and I also realize posters are going to hit me with..."He didn''t ask for your opinion ...he only wanted to know what we thought of his plans..." Well as I said...I think your plans are really great. I just wish those from my gender would stop making you guys think they have to be won. You should already have given each other the commitment...so why isn''t that enough? For me...the fact that you are willing to stop looking for another girl...and settle on her...well, again...you are THE PRIZE!!

DKS-let the mud pies fly!

 

[door knob solitaire]

Another option...is you can fore go the elaborate and time consuming sign making...(get the rolling ring with the money you save...) and just have everyone form a semicircle or a heart in a surrounding fashion while holding white candles...and you say the words.

Or You could have candles lined up and lit that form your words...by your outside posse.

I bet your including everyone...she will know something. You have to make a rule that NO ONE speak to her that day. DON'T risk it. Someone is going to want to say have a REEEELY great evening! Or so tell me what are you doing tonight??? So you are risking a meow or two coming out of the bag...the cat will still be in there...but she will know something.

Another thought...When the power goes out...you lose your normal sensory and switch over to greater reliance on your hearing...someone will snicker...or trip...or cough...so the power outage may also give you up. She may be reluctant to step outside thinking something is up. So be prepared...maybe playing with a battery operated radio at the time...could help quell the added rustling from the restless surprise natives! Or your brother working in the garage on his car with his stereo on...is the reason for the power outage...the music would continue if it was on his car stereo. You may need a sound canceling song...which could just happen to be yours?

Can you plan this display somewhere and just walk upon it?

See, I still care that YOUR plan goes off well...just sad that you have to!!

DKS

 

[Haven]

Date: 9/23/2007 11:48:15 AM
Author: door knob solitaire
Sweetie, you are such a great guy to try to come up with something unique and special. Your plan sounds like a winner!!

I just have a problem with the girls you guys are proposing too...why they are making you jump through all these hoops to win the prize. You are not the only one that has a shopping list to accommodate a girlfriend. And yes, I am sure yours is one in a million and the love of your life...I am just disappointed in women today that think they are some sort of game prize and can only be won by a certain carat of diamond...a certain way of asking...it just saddens me.


What happened to a girl realizing that the guy is the prize? Well, if it is any consolation to you...I think your fretting so much and planning to the extent you are should be sufficient. I think you are THE PRIZE!!! Make her fall in love all over again? Argghh. What about at 3 in the morning when you will make a trip to the pharmacy for her? Or when you scrape the ice off her windshield before she leaves for work...or you holding her hand as she sits at an ailing Grandmothers bed...YOU ARE COMMITTING A LIFETIME of love to her...WHAY ISN''T THAT ENOUGH?


I don''t remember if it was here on not...but some guy proposed to this...girl...and her answer was IT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Do it again. Make me swoon. What???

DKS--I was thinking THE SAME THING as I read his post. Why all the criteria? Why all the flaming hoops to jump through? This is not a criticism of Myo''s GF, but I just think ladies these days are so demanding that they forget about what is really important: a proposal of lifelong commitment from the man they love.

Anyway, Myo--I think your idea sounds great, and DKS has some really good advice, as in, you don''t want the setup to give away the moment before it actually happens.

If it were me, I''d want YOU to say the words, rather than the words being written out and held up by friends, so this is an easy fix: have your friends hold the cards, but be sure that you grab her hand, get down on one knee, and do some talking after she reads them.

And if she''s worried about you spending too much money, perhaps you can have twelve of her friends each hold ONE flower, instead of a dozen each. That many flowers is a bit of an overkill, and if they make one bouquet together you can say something sweet about the flowers coming together being a symbol of the joining of your two families and groups of friends. (Does she have a favorite flower other than red roses? If she does, go with those instead. Multi-colored Gerbera Daisies would look GORGEOUS!)

I think it is so sweet of you to put this much effort into the proposal, and I''m sure your lady knows that you are the prize. Good luck! (And, ahem, we''ll be looking for handshots once she has the ring . . .

 

[rmkwebdesign]

Date: 9/23/2007 1:31:28 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 9/23/2007 11:48:15 AM
Author: door knob solitaire
Sweetie, you are such a great guy to try to come up with something unique and special. Your plan sounds like a winner!!

I just have a problem with the girls you guys are proposing too...why they are making you jump through all these hoops to win the prize. You are not the only one that has a shopping list to accommodate a girlfriend. And yes, I am sure yours is one in a million and the love of your life...I am just disappointed in women today that think they are some sort of game prize and can only be won by a certain carat of diamond...a certain way of asking...it just saddens me.


What happened to a girl realizing that the guy is the prize? Well, if it is any consolation to you...I think your fretting so much and planning to the extent you are should be sufficient. I think you are THE PRIZE!!! Make her fall in love all over again? Argghh. What about at 3 in the morning when you will make a trip to the pharmacy for her? Or when you scrape the ice off her windshield before she leaves for work...or you holding her hand as she sits at an ailing Grandmothers bed...YOU ARE COMMITTING A LIFETIME of love to her...WHAY ISN''T THAT ENOUGH?

DKS--I was thinking THE SAME THING as I read his post. Why all the criteria? Why all the flaming hoops to jump through? This is not a criticism of Myo''s GF, but I just think ladies these days are so demanding that they forget about what is really important: a proposal of lifelong commitment from the man they love.

I agree with both the above. And it goes back to my recent post on whether or not a girl should choose her own e-ring. IMO, the e-ring is a gift from the man to the woman. He is not the banker she goes to buy her own ring. By the same token, these women who demand a particular proposal seem off their rocker to me. He''s asking her to be his life partner. He is not buying her favor.

 

[door knob solitaire]

If it were me, I''d want YOU to say the words, rather than the words being written out and held up by friends,

Ditto with Haven...I feel the same way...ok ok, I guess I am too am a prima donna...that is the one thing I would want ...the words those words from YOU. Ok Ok, I am as guilty in that demand!

The single rose thing is a great idea too. As 12 or 24 ( or 17 or 22 doesn''t have to be a perfect count) roses can all be delivered by the holder of the rose to the Princess. Or a beautiful empty lit crystal vase set up on a drapey lacey white clothed table...can be where each person places their rose as they individually congratulate her with a hug. Sort of a reception line. That vase can be a special memento of the evening and hold a significant prominent place in your home...and often filled with other flowers, through out the years.

Or they can be holding a lit candle and place the candle on a table and combined it will be a bright display signifying...oh something. My brain is on idle...need chocolate.

Then of course everyone should join hands, form a circle and sing Cum By Ya...or what ever that song is...Just kidding. Trying to get a laugh. No offense intended!! kiss Kiss!!

DKS

RMKwebdesign... your banker analogy is perfect to make this point!

 

[myolsiemse]

ok its not that im being told how to propose, maybe its the way listed it that made it seem like shes being a controlling brat but shes not she wants it to be comfortable and to have our friends there, and what girl doesnt wanna feel special and all that mushy stuff you know...

so dont get the idea that shes forcing me to propose against her guidelines or she will make me redo it...

and plus i dont wanna be that douche who had a sucky proposal, i want to wow her so if having our friends there and for it to be us...were not super romantic and what not, were really causal and not elaborate...so yea

and i was thinking of having our friends out in the backyard and we would see them from upstairs, their house is on a hill and the kitchen is above the backyard...weird floor plan but thats why i think this would work out great, because our friends can quietly sneek into the back yard while the girls (my girl and my sister) would be looking for candles to "light up " the kitchen while my brother in law and i are down stairs fixing the lights... and i would come upstairs and ask her as our friends lights light up downstairs in th back yard..

this way no ones in the house to ruin the surprise they would all be downstais outside

and yea no one would mention anything cause they all want her to be surprised casue we all love how gullible she is and how funny her reactions are to everything! haha shes hilarious...so yea no ones gonna ruin this and the people who i know arent good secret keepers im not gonna tell them whats up till the hour or so before i do it...that way theres no chance in ruining the surprise.

 

[Haven]

RMK--I do believe there is a difference between a lady giving directions for the actual proposal and a lady choosing her own engagement ring. I've read your previous posts, RMK, and it is clear that you have very strong opinions about choosing the ring, and that is absolutely fine if it works for you and your lady.

It is important to recognize that everyone is different, and for some couples purchasing a pricey piece of jewelery that the lady will wear for the rest of her life is more appropriately a joint decision. I also think that some couples don't view the ring as a gift, and rather it is a symbol of their commitment. Remember, too, that many couples make joint financial decisions far before they marry, so it is no longer always a matter of the man funding the ring. Now, I'm very traditional and my FI and I do not (and will not) live together before we marry, but many do and I imagine their finances are more or less already merged by the time the proposal comes along.

I've said it before, but I absolutely believe that nothing about the decision to enter into a lifelong marriage commitment should be a surprise--both parties should have discussed it and decided together that they are ready (and willing!) to marry, and it is very sweet that men go to a lot of trouble to make the proposal a surprise, especially since the women (should) know that the commitment is imminent.

Myo--It sounds like your proposal plan is really coming together, I'm so excited to hear how it goes! I don't think anyone on here would ever dream of thinking that your GF is a brat after reading your posts and seeing how sweet and considerate you are. I'm sure she will be absolutely delighted when you propose.

 

[myolsiemse]

i totally agree with you Haven my girl and i are christians and are very oldschool in the sense that we dont live together until we get married, and im glad we made that decision. we are very traditional and im cool with that!

about choosing her ring thats all her...i mean shes the one wearing for ever right? so why not have her pick it out, plus why would i want to take the chance and pick something that i thought she would like but really doesnt...so if she doesnt like it its all on her, but shes got good taste and she loves the whole process of going and looking at stones, one rule is that the jeweler must not say the price out loud, that is something that i should know and not her, becasue in a way this is a gift to me and if she sees her dream ring, but then she sees the price, she may feel guilty in wanting so by not saying the price i see what she really wants. the stone on the other had was a joint decision even on the price becasue its such a huge thing. we decided together on a 2.03 ct. its a VS1 H color amazing the measumemnts are 7x7 and a 5.6 depth, i love it she loves it...

thanks guys for listening, i hope to be proposing around christmas time, so its a while but i wanna get started on the planning, any other tips?

 

[Haven]

Ah, another traditional man, I love it. Are you planning on asking her father for his permission? I love that my FI did that, and it definitely earned him big points with my parents.

It sounds like you two enjoyed the process of finding the ring together, my FI and I did the same thing and we had a really great time doing it.

The diamond sounds great, do you have the ring, yet? If so, where are those pics?!

 

[princesss]

I''ve just got to say I think your idea is so sweet. While I agree with DKS that it seems ridiculous how many demands girls are making, I think it''s great that you found out what is important to her and are working with it. I think they''re mostly things that most men want to have figured out before the proposal, anyways (public vs. private, elaborate vs. simple, etc.).

I will say that when the time comes, I want my BF to say the words. I would be she''s the same way.

Otherwise, this seems wonderful. Best of luck and I can''t wait to see hand shots!

 

[rmkwebdesign]

Date: 9/23/2007 6:06:28 PM
Author: Haven
RMK--I do believe there is a difference between a lady giving directions for the actual proposal and a lady choosing her own engagement ring. I''ve read your previous posts, RMK, and it is clear that you have very strong opinions about choosing the ring, and that is absolutely fine if it works for you and your lady.

I understand, and I''m no expert here...a relative novice. But, with strong opinions...LOL...something I''ve never been accused of NOT having!

I also think that some couples don''t view the ring as a gift, and rather it is a symbol of their commitment.

I agree that some do. Though, in my opinion, the w-rings are more the "joint symbol," whereas I think the e-ring is the man''s symbol to her.

OK... I''ll keep quiet for now...less than 1 week til my proposal.......

 

[Haven]

Date: 9/23/2007 8:44:22 PM
Author: rmkwebdesign

Date: 9/23/2007 6:06:28 PM

Author: Haven

RMK--I do believe there is a difference between a lady giving directions for the actual proposal and a lady choosing her own engagement ring. I''ve read your previous posts, RMK, and it is clear that you have very strong opinions about choosing the ring, and that is absolutely fine if it works for you and your lady.

I understand, and I''m no expert here...a relative novice. But, with strong opinions...LOL...something I''ve never been accused of NOT having!

I also think that some couples don''t view the ring as a gift, and rather it is a symbol of their commitment.

I agree that some do. Though, in my opinion, the w-rings are more the ''joint symbol,'' whereas I think the e-ring is the man''s symbol to her.


OK... I''ll keep quiet for now...less than 1 week til my proposal.......

Ooooh, good luck RMK! I can''t wait to read all about it once you''re engaged!

 

[myolsiemse]

i am askin gher parents first, because i want them to know before i do it i mean its not a big surprise since weve been together for almost 6 years but shes still only 20 (will be 21 by the time i propose) and i just feel its right to ask first and to know that their ok with it.

yea shes young im 22 going to be 23 by the time i propose, our birthdays are a week apart, and im in a very steady job, and i have enough to support us, people may say were young, but i know that were ready, shes mature, smart, and weve had numerous conversations over marriage and all that it consists of AFTER the wedding day, i know shes ready, i know im ready, an plus after 6 years i think i know for sure that shes THE ONE, the wedding wont be until shes out of college in 2009 but thats all good, cause we wanted a long engagement, and technically its only a year and a couple of months, not that long. i want her to finish college, and to have experienced that, i support her and back her up when she needs me, and since the begining she has always wanted to finish college before she got married, and i respect that. i love her for standing strong in what she wants, and believes in. so by the time the wedding comes around she will be 23 and i will be 25. so please to criticize our ages.

as for the me saying those magic words, GUYS i will be saying it but i want her to see it too! lol im working on the exact words to say to her, not just have our friends say it for me, please theyre not the ones proposing I am...

we dont have the setting yet, that is one thing she can choose, im taking her next month to go look at settings.

oh RMK good luck dude on your proposal!

 

[Haven]

Myo--I apologize if it sounded like I was criticizing your ages, which I certainly didn''t and wouldn''t do. (Not to mention I COULDN''T have done so, since I had no idea how old you are until your last post.)

There is no need to justify your decision to marry, everyone is different and people are ready for different commitments at different ages, that''s for sure. I''m almost 27 and my FI is 37, and I know that I would not have been ready for marriage when I was 21 because I was so focused on molding myself and my life that I wasn''t quite "formed" yet until a few years after college, and my FI certainly wasn''t ready to settle down until later in life, but that''s okay, because we only have to make our timelines fit one other person--our partner!

I''ve enjoyed reading your story, and I wish you and your future wife the very best that life has to offer.

 

[door knob solitaire]

Sure you are the one doing the proposal...dude...but you may not have an opportunity to ask her...as soon as she reads it she may answer the question Yes, Yes, Yes!!! and therefore your asking will be redundant...as it has already been asked.

That is the point we were trying to express to you.

You will have to calm her down...and say wait...wait I didn''t ask you yet...be quiet...I want to ask you myself. It can get sticky.

Now if your sign said something like Jenna you are the most wonderful woman in the world...and then you asked her...that would make sense.

Or the sign reads: Just one question to ask...

Just trying to clarify my opinion.

Why not rent a portable lighted sign and have all the friends flanking it?

DKS