Father''s Blessing - how far in advance?

[AtlanticAve]

In the 4 years that my gf and I have been together, I''ve only met her father twice - he dislikes travel and he lives many states away. However, by some miracle, he will be on the east coast next month to cheer on gf''s mother in the DC marathon. (Barring the Mets in the World Series causing me to miss that weekend) I plan on asking him in person when I see him.

While I might propose when we''re in Reykjavik for her b''day in Nov, I''m also unsure about combining those two events and might wait until the new year.

Seeing her father is a very rare event and I don''t want to miss my opportunity - but can I ask him in Oct and wait several months for the proposal?

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

I would think it would be fine to ask in advance but would make sure her father knows to keep it a secret and that he is aware of the extended timeline you have in mind so there is no room for him to grow concerned when there is a lapse in time between getting permission and actually proposing.

I am sure if you explain you are seeking his permission in advance because you did not feel it was an appropropriate thing to do over the telephone, he will be pleased.

 

[door knob solitaire]

Ditto on what Faith says!

Plus I think you are ONE great fella to go to the effort and follow a respected tradition. There is so much merit in that gesture...your gal will be thrilled! I am just thinking about it! My hat is off to you!

DKS

 

[Haven]

I agree, definitely ask for her father''s permission when he''s in town in October, but be sure to let him know you will be waiting for a while and that he is to keep it a secret.

My fiance knows my father very well, and they see each other regularly because my father is a client of my fiance''s, however my FI waited until the day before he proposed to ask for my father''s permission because he knows my dad wouldn''t have been able to keep it a secret for very long!

Good for you for planning this out, it is definitely a tradition worth keeping.

 

[awenuts]

I think it is more than acceptable to ask at that time. You are asking her gf''s father for his blessing not for a loan with a low interest rate. His blessing won''t expire within a certain amount of time if you don''t propose to her right away!

Congrats!