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Being sneaky is hard!

HappyNewLife

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 25, 2010
Messages
2,534
Hi everyone :)

This is my first post on PS, but I''ve been lurking and learning for a few days. I want to propose to my GF this summer but want it to be a total surprise. I see SO many posts here about going ring shopping together and where the girl knows all about the ring. I don''t want my GF to have a clue that I''m shopping, searching, and thinking about proposing. Of course that leads me to wondering and doubting, LOL!

Quick background: I''m a female, divorced last year, realized that I''m a lesbian late in life. I have the best GF ever. I want to surprise her, and it WILL be a surprise because she is not expecting this. I''m a bit of a commitment phobe. Not that I''m afraid to commit myself to her for life-- I already have and she knows it, but I''ve been afraid to move in together with her and have put that off several times (there are many factors, selling my house, moving my kids, the ex-H, etc).

Anyway, how do I find out what kind of jewelry she likes without being too obvious? She''s not too girly, so a traditional e-ring won''t be right. She has told me she doesn''t like any kind of setting where things stick up and doesn''t want things getting stuck in it. I was thinking of getting her the Tiffany Etoile band or the WF scattered diamond replica. But is that "enough" to propose with? I can''t seem to post the pic, I need to figure this newbie stuff out ;-)

I managed to figure out her size, so at least I''m one step closer. She''s probably totally on to me. Yeah, cuz most people have a ring sizer in their bedside drawer-- that isn''t totally obvious, right? Ha!

Anyway, hi! I hope to come up with cute proposal ideas and run them past you soon. I want to do it in San Francisco in June-- we are going there for Gay Pride weekend. Thinking "beach" somehow.

xoxo
 

Rockout

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 22, 2010
Messages
29
I had similar issue that you experienced. I had no clue what my SO would like.

I thought a solitaire would be nice for her style and actually had a 1.63 H SI2 picked out from USA Certed diamonds and before I ordered it for viewing we were at the jewelry store getting a watch battery changed and I nudged her toward the ring showcase. She fell in love with a pave/halo setting with a 1ct stone of better colour and clarity. I knew I could likely get a really nice stone from a PS vendor.

It goes to show, my original choice likely would have been well received but she has seen many rings since and keeps talking about the ''one'' we first saw. Being a good PS''r, I wanted to buy the setting from one of the PS vendors but I have not seen a similar setting - so the safe road was to get the B&M setting and hunt for a quality stone.

Her birthday is coming up and we started looking at diamond crosses, that is the rouse I used to get her into jewelry stores. she even made a comment that we are not at the diamond stage and if I am reading between the lines she meant ''don''t get me a diamond cross until you put a ring on my finger''.

Hopefully, it will come as a total and pleasant surprise - it is stressful (in a good way) orchestrating my "bait and switch".

I can totally relate to your ''being sneaky is hard'' comment and I wish you much luck!
 

PumpkinPie

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 17, 2010
Messages
2,841
you sound so sweet HappyNewLife- your girlfriend (and soon-to-be fiance) is lucky to have you. I think that there is not an "enough" limit for a proposal -I was proposed to without a ring, and it was certainly enough! :)

Good luck making your decision - I think a nice scattered diamond band would be wonderful - my personal favourite is a diamond eternity (or 3/4) paired with a matching wedding band. Would a diamond band be too "sticky outy" for her?
 

HappyNewLife

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 25, 2010
Messages
2,534
yes, I think so (and thanks for your kind words!). I think if she were to receive a typical engagement ring it would have to be the Tiffany Etoile one (or semi-bezel on a thick band with as low a setting as possible).

Looking for a money tree...
 

PumpkinPie

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 17, 2010
Messages
2,841
If you''re referring to a tree that grows bills as fruit - if you find one, let me know :) I could use a pendant...
 

brazen_irish_hussy

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 13, 2006
Messages
2,044
That is really sweet.
Here is my suggestion that a lot of people on here have done and combines the best of both worlds. Buy a diamond you think she would like and get a a really basic setting. Then propose with it. Afterwards, the two of you can pick a setting together. You get the suprise propsal and she gets the ring of her dreams without you worrying about getting the right one
 

damons

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 21, 2010
Messages
101
Hi HappyNewLife. I can totally relate. My partner and I have been together for about 3.5 years and I plan on proposing in June.

Do you have the ring yet? I bought my girl''s ring from a PS vendor online and it is set to be delivered in a few days. It is soooo hard because I want to give her the ring as soon as I get it...but I am saving it for a romantic weekend I planned for us. I don''t know how I am going to do it!!

If you need any help with proposal ideas, I am here for you.
 

HappyNewLife

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 25, 2010
Messages
2,534
Date: 4/28/2010 11:32:18 AM
Author: damons
Hi HappyNewLife. I can totally relate. My partner and I have been together for about 3.5 years and I plan on proposing in June.

Do you have the ring yet? I bought my girl''s ring from a PS vendor online and it is set to be delivered in a few days. It is soooo hard because I want to give her the ring as soon as I get it...but I am saving it for a romantic weekend I planned for us. I don''t know how I am going to do it!!

If you need any help with proposal ideas, I am here for you.
Yes, I have the ring! The plan is to propose on a trip we are taking together in late June to SF. So I''m thinking either taking her to napa and doing it there, or maybe just on the beach in SF. I''m nervous it will be hot and miserable in near-July in Napa and I don''t want her to be cranky and sweaty when I propose, LOL! It has to be private-- no restaurants... I luckily have two more months to think about it ;-)

What are you planning to do?
 
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