It just isn''t done that way, is it?

[Aloros]

A guy wouldn''t blindside his girl with a proposal, would he?

Our year anniversary is coming up, as well as my bday a month after, and my bf has been asking me what I''d like as a gift. He also flat-out told me that I''m getting jewelry for one or the other. I mentioned this to a friend, and she asked me if he was going to propose.

I hadn''t even really considered that.

We''ve talked about it, but only in hypotheticals. He''s done things that could be construed as hints: "practicing" proposing to me when he thinks I can''t hear, teasing me about diamonds (which is a little silly seeing as I''ve never mentioned wanting any), wanting us to hang out with his married and engaged friends more, etc. His closest friends have all been getting married and engaged recently, so I''m sure it''s been on his mind.

We''re planning on moving in together once he gets a new job, and if it''s out of the area, we''ll both move (his job is more career-oriented than mine. Mine''s more of a day job).

I don''t seriously think he''s going to propose so soon, but it got me thinking. I was under the impression that both sides have to be on the "when" page as opposed to the "if" page before the question is popped. Is that how it''s been working for you ladies?

 

[justjulia]

It sounds like a proposal is soon, to me. You could always drop your own hints, like, "I wonder how many of our new neighbors will be married?" or just get really frank and ask him what he thinks of marriage in general. I''m curious how he has been secretly practicing to ask you--sounds cute.

 

[Aloros]

Well, I know what he thinks of marriage and I know he wants to get married at some point. When I hear him "practicing", it''s just "Aloros, will you marry me?". Sometimes he''ll say it again, slightly differently. It IS fairly cute.

I think things are moving in the "when" direction. We''ve been looking at houses recently and figuring out how much house we could afford together. I did notice that when we were at the mall, his eyes were following all the jewelry stores (if he''d been looking at another lady like that, I would have thwapped him upside the head!). I think he might just be looking for a nice necklace for me, and hey, I''m fine with that.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 6/22/2007 4:38:36 PM
Author:Aloros
A guy wouldn''t blindside his girl with a proposal, would he?

Our year anniversary is coming up, as well as my bday a month after, and my bf has been asking me what I''d like as a gift. He also flat-out told me that I''m getting jewelry for one or the other. I mentioned this to a friend, and she asked me if he was going to propose.

I hadn''t even really considered that.

We''ve talked about it, but only in hypotheticals. He''s done things that could be construed as hints: ''practicing'' proposing to me when he thinks I can''t hear, teasing me about diamonds (which is a little silly seeing as I''ve never mentioned wanting any), wanting us to hang out with his married and engaged friends more, etc. His closest friends have all been getting married and engaged recently, so I''m sure it''s been on his mind.

We''re planning on moving in together once he gets a new job, and if it''s out of the area, we''ll both move (his job is more career-oriented than mine. Mine''s more of a day job).

I don''t seriously think he''s going to propose so soon, but it got me thinking. I was under the impression that both sides have to be on the ''when'' page as opposed to the ''if'' page before the question is popped. Is that how it''s been working for you ladies?

LOL, not for me...I had to break out the old "ultimatum" and tell him when the lease was up I was moving out if I wasn''t engaged. It was either that or hit him over the head with a frying pan, ya know? Seriously, though, we were on the same page as far as knowing we both wanted to get engaged and married well before the actual ring purchase and proposal took place. However, I had no input on my ring as many gals here do, I wanted to be surprised.

The fact that he''s practicing his proposal while he thinks you can''t hear him is a definite clue, though. Maybe you could catch him in the act ''accidentally'' once and see where that conversation goes? I don''t know...maybe he thinks it would be wildly romantic to just surprise you one day/night, and he''s not planning on giving you any warning. I wouldn''t put it past any man to do that, I think they don''t know any better if they''re the romantic type. Maybe you could bring up a hypothetical situation as in, I know a gal whose boyfriend proposed totally out of the blue, she was so freaked out, her hair was a mess and she was wearing sweats, etc. (only if that''s the sort of thing you might worry about, though, obviously.)

 

[Delster]

Date: 6/22/2007 4:38:36 PM
Author:Aloros
A guy wouldn''t blindside his girl with a proposal, would he?

Aloros would you be OK with being ''blindsided''? It''s just that''s a pretty strong word, it sounds like you might be uncomfortable with that. Of course tone doesn''t come across on a forum so I could be completely misreading it!

So would a surprise be OK or would you rather have more input into things? Or are you happy either way?

Date: 6/22/2007 4:38:36 PM
Author:Aloros
When I hear him "practicing", it''s just "Aloros, will you marry me?". Sometimes he''ll say it again, slightly differently. It IS fairly cute.

This is adorable!!!

 

[Independent Gal]

It happens! I was blindsided with a proposal by an ex-boyfriend. Not smart on his part.

As you can tell from the fact that I''m not married to him! I had to say ''No'' and let me tell you, that was one of the hardest things I''ve ever done.

If I were you, I''d bring it up with him. Don''t say ''Are you planning to propose?'' but rather ''So, say we got married some day...'' and then you can broach all the topics that need to be broached yourself!

It''s super cute that he practices.

 

[allycat0303]

Definitely. I know 2-3 girls that were totally shocked at a proposal. I think it''s really sweet if the guy is able to surprise you. As long as you''re all for it, I don''t think it''s a problem.

 

[Picos]

I was blindsided and I liked it!

He knew I wanted it to be a total shock & surprise though and we had already talked about getting married in the future. I didn''t pick out the ring but I love it. We had talked on & off about what I wanted (round diamond, something "classic" but not a solitaire, no bigger than .5 carats). The ring is quite spiffy.

 

[snlee]

If you want to know if you''re on the same page, just talk to him about it. I would have a conversation with him about your relationship, where it''s going, when he wants to get married, etc. I''m a big fan of openly communicating with each other!

 

[Aloros]

I certainly wouldn''t turn him down if he asked

. Still, it''s only been a year, and I''m pretty much enjoying where we''re at right now. One of the things I love about him is that being around him has really mellowed me out. I just don''t feel as stressed as I used to (and I''m getting more work done! I didn''t even think that was possible!). If it happens, it happens, if not, well, I''m sure I''ll get impatient somewhere down the line.

The whole thing that triggered this post, actually, was that I dreamt he proposed with a "frozen spit" diamond that I knew he''d paid too much for.

Funny how this forum works, isn''t it?