I am surrounded!

[Stephanie]

I don''t need to vent very often - but this is one of those moments where I have to let it out and if I don''t let it out here, the boyfriend will get it and we all know how that can turn out..

I am surrounded by people getting engaged and it''s driving me crazy (more so than I am already.) Literally, within the past hour, two separate girls have called and told me that they are now engaged. Two people in one hour!! That has got to be some kind of freaking record. Give me a break! Is this some kind of sign? And of course, they tell me the story and tell me about the ring (I love a good proposal story!), but when the congratulations are over, what is the first question out of their mouths - "What''s taking him so long?" And, I can just hear the sympathy in their voices and it just gets under my skin - real deep. In the end, I just have to laugh, say I don''t know and tell them that we have been ring shopping (I have been ring shopping for six years, he just joined in a month ago..) There are just only so many times that you can give an answer to that question and not start to wonder what is taking him so long. Grrr.. End rant.

At least I have the LIW to depend and to understand..

 

[pyramid]

Stephanie

Look at it this way, the glass in half-full. He has joined in a month ago ring shopping - very very very good, excellent sign

 

[DMBsGirl]

I feel your pain Stephanie! 95% of my friends are engaged, married, or about to get engaged. I also get the looks and comments asking WHEN will he propose. People also find it necessary to tell me that I should not put up with it and should DEMAND that he speed it up, lol. It is annoying and crappy. I hope we are put out of our misery soon!!!!

 

[mrs.ROC]

I can definitely understand where you are coming from. Friends getting engaged to now.. family members of my same generation getting engaged... I can sympathize!! The screen name is just positve thinking... gotta stay positive!!!

 

[monarch64]

Stephanie, don''t worry, your time will come! I was in the same boat about 5 years ago...I totally understand where you''re coming from. It''s hard to be waiting on a proposal while you watch your friends get engaged and start planning their weddings. Just make sure you come here to vent, we will listen, and use the supportive side of yourself to let your friends know you''re there for them and are happy for them being engaged. Don''t let the old green eyed monster bring you down, girl!

 

[incmisirlou]

i understand where you are coming from Stephanie. Although I was so happy for my friends that got engaged it still made me feel a bit left out and wondering why i wasnt in on all the engagement fun too. but itll be your turn hopefully soon, ring shopping with you for a month is like ring shopping for YEARS to men. its ok to rant around here as there are plenty of ladies who are in the same boat as you are. hope your mini rant helped you blow off some steam.

 

[bee*]

I hate that look of sympathy!!

I never know what to say when I get that question-why do people ask that question of what''s taking him so long-ask him!! As others have said, your time will come and unfortunately a lot of patience is needed to wait for them to do it. Just come in here and vent, that''s what Im doing at the moment to stop me talking about it 24/7 to D. He even told me that he thought I wouldnt be able to stop talking about it 3 weeks before our holiday, but that I''ve been so good-little does he know

. I hope that you and your bf find the perfect ring soon and that soon you''ll be ringing your friends to tell them you''re engaged!

 

[darkeyesredshoes]

Stephanie,

I know you''re trying so hard to be patient, but two calls in the same hour sounds like the universe is playing a joke on you. Keep up the classy facade and save up your crazy for us. The alternative never works out...my friend pestered her then-boyfriend CONSTANTLY about rings and proposing, and I could tell that it made him so frustrated with the whole process. Now, whenever I think about what to say or not say to my boyfriend, I just think of whatever my dear friend would have done, and do the opposite. You''re on the right track.

 

[Stephanie]

Date: 6/13/2007 9:49:22 PM
Author: DMBsGirl
I feel your pain Stephanie! 95% of my friends are engaged, married, or about to get engaged. I also get the looks and comments asking WHEN will he propose. People also find it necessary to tell me that I should not put up with it and should DEMAND that he speed it up, lol. It is annoying and crappy. I hope we are put out of our misery soon!!!!

His sister actually had the audacity to say this to me, in front of his mother and grandmother, right after Christmas dinner one year. It was the year that she had gotten engaged so now everything just was about weddings and engagements. I was mortified. I never want to force him to propose. I actually thought about being really nasty and asking if that's how she got her FI to do it. But I would never because then there would be tension and such.

I am trying to stay positive, calm, and to keep my mouth shut. We go to the beach in eight weeks and he mentioned last year, after our return, that he wanted to but couldn't find a ring that he liked - so that's a good sign. But I'm really trying to not get my hopes up, but they are getting on up there..
By the way, number three called late last night. Three in one day - this is just getting funny. I wonder who will call next!
Thanks for listening and for all the words of encouragement!

 

[Shannon72781]

Ah, yikes. That IS alot of people to call and spread the good news. I live in NY now, but did live in PA for 2 years. ALL my PA friends ar married or engaged. I was just talking to one on the phone several minutes ago and she asked "So, any ring yet?"
I told her no, not until next year that my SO is still saving. I''m going down there in 2 weeks for a party and I fell like we will be the only non-engaged/married couple there! And my SO KNOWS how I get after coming back from a PA visit...all whiny and naggy about "when are we getting engaged??"
I''m sorry your family (or his family) is giving you heat. He will propose at the right time. I ask my SO ''When?" and he gives me no clues since it has to be a "Surprise."
I''m sure your SO is thinking up the same thing. I know they want to knock us off our feet, but hurry up with the knocking already!!

 

[Haven]

Hang in there, Stephanie, and of course you came to the right place to vent!

I actually just logged in to PS because I just opened an email from my BF''s good friend--it was titled "She said yes" and it had a great picture of the two of them sitting in a garden, and sure enough her left ring finger is sporting some new bling. I''m so happy for them, but this one really got me down because they''ve only been together for six months, I remember when we first heard about her, and now they''re engaged! BF and I have been together for three years (tomorrow, actually) and NOTHING. It''s just super frustrating, and I know exactly how you feel.

Hang in there, and come in here when you''re feeling extra salty!

 

[Aloros]

I think there''s a certain point in everyone''s life where all the people around them start getting married! It''s frustrating for you, I''m sure (three in one day? Is that some sort of record?), but just remember that other people''s relationships should never be a measuring stick for your own.

One of my bfs friends got engaged earlier this week. He''d been dating his lady for three whole months. We both sort of shrugged and sent along our congrats. We''re celebrating our one-year anniversary soon, but it didn''t make us feel like we needed to be hurrying down the aisle.

Your man''s looking for a ring, so it''s going to happen soon, right? Try not to let those people''s questions bother you. People are inherently nosy!

 

[janinegirly]

i remember this affecting me terribly when i was LIW. not just engagements, even just others'' progress..it like was a punch in the stomach and FI (then bf) never understood how it was!

just hang in there, b/c it will be your turn and you''ll forget all the torture of waiting (well at least some of it

)

haven..3 yrs tomorrow, wow! doing anything special..who knows, maybe you''ll be surprised. how does your bf react to his friend proposing so quickly?

 

[Stephanie]

Date: 6/14/2007 1:43:53 PM
Author: Aloros
I think there's a certain point in everyone's life where all the people around them start getting married! It's frustrating for you, I'm sure (three in one day? Is that some sort of record?), but just remember that other people's relationships should never be a measuring stick for your own.

Whew.. Yesterday was nuts. Since my name starts with an 's,' it must have just taken that long to get to me in their phone book.

Haven - Congratulations on three years! What are your plans for the evening?

My parents actually met and married within three months of meeting each other. So it's not just heat from his family, it comes from both sides. But he and I met when I was 18 and he was just out of college (23.) We both have had a ton of growing up to do. And now, he's investing in his company (he's a part owner) and I can't tell him not to invest what he saves and buy me a ring - that's our future on the line. That's why I don't get upset about everyone around us getting engaged/married very often. I know that it will happen and that it will be fantastic, and that we will have a great future.
But having you all here, just makes it so much easier to not get upset about those things...

 

[Shannon72781]

Oh yeah, I know what you''re talking about the whole "saving money for our future." It IS smart and responsible for your SO to put the money towards the business for BOTH of your future security. My SO is a teacher and puts most of hsi money towards grad classes. He doesn''t live at home and commutes over an hour to his school...not a lot left over for the ring fund. However, no way could I tell him not to take classes (the credits he accumulates will increase his salary) since it affects both of our future. But it is extremely frustrating to see his overtime check come in and go straight to his college classes/books/rent

I know how you feel!

Have you set up some sort of timeline or a certain amount your SO can deposit into the cost of your ring every month? Mine has X amount deducted from his paychecks that he set this up this past January. I hope by this time next year it will meet the mark we both agreed he would spend on my ring. So, I can''t be TOO anxious now since I know he is actively saving, even if it''s little by little. I know this helped ease some of my anxiety over the process. He still wants it to be a surprise, so I''m hoping that even if I know it will happen in approximately one year, he may have it saved up a little earlier and really surprise me! Ah, wishful thinking...

 

[SuLi]

I totally know how you feel...before I got engaged about three months ago, it seemed like everyone was getting engaged - and all people who have been together with their SOs shorter than I have with mine (we have been together for 8.5 years). In my office alone, three women got engaged since January. And then, my grandmother, who lives with my parents, sat me down and asked me if my boyfriend loved me because we''ve been together way too long and he hasn''t asked me to marry him. So, I hang tight...

 

[allycat0303]

Jeez. That has to be a record. It seems like a lot of people are getting engaged right now on PS and around me. Ok. You''ve already started ring shopping so hang in there! Progress has been made!

 

[Stephanie]

It has started here on PS! So funny... It''s like an epidemic! Hopefully, he will catch it soon (however, I am not holding my breath..)

 

[beachbound]

That is REALLY frustrating! There were seven girls in my office that got engaged at the same time, and five girls that are friends of FI and I. It was wedding fever!!!! One of them acted like I wasn''t good enough anymore because I wasn''t engaged! Talk about bridezilla! It is frustrating, but this is the time of the year I suppose. Hang in there, you''ll get through it! Deep breaths, deep breaths....

 

[Picos]

Date: 6/14/2007 9:13:11 AM
Author: Stephanie

Date: 6/13/2007 9:49:22 PM
Author: DMBsGirl
I feel your pain Stephanie! 95% of my friends are engaged, married, or about to get engaged. I also get the looks and comments asking WHEN will he propose. People also find it necessary to tell me that I should not put up with it and should DEMAND that he speed it up, lol. It is annoying and crappy. I hope we are put out of our misery soon!!!!

His sister actually had the audacity to say this to me, in front of his mother and grandmother, right after Christmas dinner one year. It was the year that she had gotten engaged so now everything just was about weddings and engagements. I was mortified. I never want to force him to propose. I actually thought about being really nasty and asking if that''s how she got her FI to do it. But I would never because then there would be tension and such.

I am trying to stay positive, calm, and to keep my mouth shut. We go to the beach in eight weeks and he mentioned last year, after our return, that he wanted to but couldn''t find a ring that he liked - so that''s a good sign. But I''m really trying to not get my hopes up, but they are getting on up there..

By the way, number three called late last night. Three in one day - this is just getting funny. I wonder who will call next!
Thanks for listening and for all the words of encouragement!

My sister (who gave her fiance an ultimatium for him to propose) responded something like, oh we''ll be waiting awhile then! when my mom said that since she was engaged I was the next to be engaged. We''d been dating the longest (by a year) but there were better things on our plates, different kind of timeline, etc.
Of course I wanted to retort in something snotty like atleast I didn''t force him to do it! but I was tired and not really up to it. Besides, she''s a tad crazy.

I really would like to adopt a dog and I get sad when I hear other people adopting dogs or talking about thier dogs. Then I remind myself that it''s just not possiable (money, time, pet limits). Soon, I''ll be walking a little dog down the street. (;