Decisions decisions...

[Jewels305]

For quite some time now, I''ve thought that I wanted to be engaged for 2 years before my wedding. The reason I''ve been thinking that is because I am afraid that I would run into trouble booking venues etc. if I didn''t leave ample time. I''ve told my boyfriend a few times that I wanted to be engaged for 2 years (which he thought was kind of silly, but understood my concern about booking). Well lately, I''ve been hearing and reading about lots of people that have engagements around 1 year, so I''ve started to think about maybe being less strict about needing 2 years since it seems like it''s less difficult than I had thought. I don''t have a specific place in mind that I want the wedding or reception to be (though I have a few ideas!) so I guess I am pretty flexible in that respect.

So tell me, how much time do you all think is appropriate?

The reason I am wondering this now is because last night my boyfriend and I were talking about getting engaged and he said "well, you need 2 years..." and I said, "I don''t know, I''m not sure that I want 2 years anymore..." So he said, "Geez, will you make up your mind?!"
I guess he really is paying attention to what I want, and is trying to keep my time frames in mind.

So now I have to decide what will be best so that I can let him know...

 

[bee*]

I don''t think there is any set time-it all depends on the couple and their situation. In my case, we are planning a two year engagement. I went back to college last year to complete a 5 year course, so if we get engaged this summer, we are hoping to get married summer 2009. For us this will give us time to save more money as we are going to pay for our own wedding, and I also want to get another 2 years of college behind me. On a side note, the castle that we are looking to have our reception in is totally booked up for every saturday in summer 2008 so if we want to have our dream venue it will have to be 2009.

 

[neatfreak]

I think for most people 1 year is plenty of time to plan a wedding and most venues won''t even book more than a year out. We''re doing a 6 month engagement because that''s what works for us.

I would call around to your preferred venues and see how long they book out, then you''ll have a better estimate of what you''re working with.

 

[snlee]

I had a 1 year engagement and I think it''s plenty of time to plan a wedding. If you are concerned about booking your venue, I would call around to get an idea of how far they book out in advance.

 

[FLgirl41]

We have chosen a 2 year engagement, mainly because we live in FL but are getting married in MN, and my fiance is in Law School and I going to get my masters so we chose a time when we would be both done and have plenty of time to plan. Hopefully with no stress. But I think 1 year is enough. If you aren''t set on a venue I think it can be done in 1 year just fine.

 

[Pandora II]

I went for a 20 month engagement - I had to have a summer wedding for various work reasons and there was no way I could plan it in 7 months.

I''m really pleased I''ve got so much time to do things in a stress free way. I haven''t even started looking for the dress yet... but I did book my venue straight after the engagement.

 

[Haven]

The length of the engagement depends on what works best for you--Peggy Post even agrees with me! According to my etiquette book, the average engagement lasts 14 months, but you two need to do what works for you.

Most of my friends have had one to two year engagements. I must say, those two year engagements are l o n g -- there is such a thing as overplanning!

Good luck making your decision!

 

[musey]

We chose 20 months because I have ALWAYS wanted to be married in October, and we were engaged in February... so it was either 8 months or 20. 8 months is NOT enough time to plan a wedding in Los Angeles. We booked our venue a month ago (17 months ahead of time) thinking we were getting a big jump on planning, but we couldn't even get the date we wanted!

So, engaged in Feb. '07, venue booked May '07, wedding Oct. '08.

Right after the proposal it was all so overwhelming that I was glad we'd have so much time to plan and adjust. But now, only 4 months later, I wish I could just marry the guy already

I agree with the other posters about calling around to your venues. I really thought that checking venues out a year and a half ahead of time was WAY ahead of the game--guess not!

 

[Delster]

I think the thing here is what kind of time frame are you comfortable with planning in? A long time frame suits some people, others thrive on pressure and can totally get it all done in six months!

If you''re not so set on one particular reception venue maybe you don''t need so long? I would have liked two years because I''d love to use the same reception venue as Bee* (Cabra Castle, right Bee*?) and it is hard to get a weekend booking at that place. When my cousin went to book there two years ago every one of the popular Saturdays (the ones on bank holiday weekends) for the next three years was booked out! He had to take a date in 2009! Crazy! Then again I know someone else who went on their waiting list for a cancellation and was married within six months. BF talks about getting married in 2009 but also says he can''t afford a ring until 2009. So I''ll probably get about two weeks!

Really though is the bookings the only thing making you think you want a two year engagement? Or is it more that you''d like the extra time to take the planning slowly? I think you can do it all in a shorter time frame, no problem, it''s just a question of would you prefer that?

 

[bee*]

Date: 6/26/2007 6:14:47 AM
Author: Delster
I think the thing here is what kind of time frame are you comfortable with planning in? A long time frame suits some people, others thrive on pressure and can totally get it all done in six months!


If you''re not so set on one particular reception venue maybe you don''t need so long? I would have liked two years because I''d love to use the same reception venue as Bee* (Cabra Castle, right Bee*?) and it is hard to get a weekend booking at that place. When my cousin went to book there two years ago every one of the popular Saturdays (the ones on bank holiday weekends) for the next three years was booked out! He had to take a date in 2009! Crazy! Then again I know someone else who went on their waiting list for a cancellation and was married within six months. BF talks about getting married in 2009 but also says he can''t afford a ring until 2009. So I''ll probably get about two weeks!

Really though is the bookings the only thing making you think you want a two year engagement? Or is it more that you''d like the extra time to take the planning slowly? I think you can do it all in a shorter time frame, no problem, it''s just a question of would you prefer that?

Yep it''s Cabra Castle-Im in love with that place! Im not even sure if we will be able to get a Saturday in the summer of 2009! Might have to go for a friday. It is worth the wait for that place

 

[Delster]

Date: 6/26/2007 2:43:53 PM
Author: bee*

Yep it''s Cabra Castle-Im in love with that place! Im not even sure if we will be able to get a Saturday in the summer of 2009! Might have to go for a friday. It is worth the wait for that place

Yes it is, it''s beautiful. The cousin who had to book three years out? His older brother was married there. His younger sister wants to be married there. It is only gorgeous. And it''s just up the road from me... And did I mention how lovely it is?... Oh OK time for me to wake up...

Sorry Jewels, threadjack over, promise!

Did you do any more thinking about the time thing?

 

[Jewels305]

Date: 6/26/2007 3:21:50 PM
Author: Delster

Date: 6/26/2007 2:43:53 PM
Author: bee*

Yep it''s Cabra Castle-Im in love with that place! Im not even sure if we will be able to get a Saturday in the summer of 2009! Might have to go for a friday. It is worth the wait for that place

Yes it is, it''s beautiful. The cousin who had to book three years out? His older brother was married there. His younger sister wants to be married there. It is only gorgeous. And it''s just up the road from me... And did I mention how lovely it is?... Oh OK time for me to wake up...

Sorry Jewels, threadjack over, promise!

Did you do any more thinking about the time thing?

I have done some more thinking about the length of my engagement, and I am pretty certain that at this point I would like a 12-14 month engagement. I think I could plan in that amount of time, and I do not have a specific venue in mind, so I think being engaged around a year is appropriate and probably better than 2 years (for me) since I am so darn impatient.

 

[KimberlyH]

We had an 8 month engagement. Wedding planning went really smoothly and it wasn''t something I wanted to spend a catrillian hours on, so we figured out what mattered (good food/location, good music, good pictures, beautiful dress) focused on those things and planned the rest with the idea that in 10 years it wouldn''t matter. It worked for us, but it wouldn''t for everyone.