patience

[gigglebuns1186]

Hi!

I was just wondering what you ladies do when you go through the impatient stage of a lady in waiting. I really wish I wasn''t impatient! I never have patience though hehe.

Thanks

 

[neatfreak]

I had a threefold method:

1. Hang out with girlfriends who were NOT planning weddings.
2. Read posts on here of women going through the same thing and realizing I wasn''t alone.
3. And when it got really bad my then boyfriend and I would go on a fun date, he would tell me that he can''t wait to be married to me, and I would feel better about it!

It only gets harder the more you focus on it, and I know this is really difficult, but try to get absorbed in something besides wedding/ring things. Hope you get put out of your misery soon!

 

[Independent Gal]

I had a big impatient fit today, and you know what I did to cope? I took everything out of my big walk-in closet and sorted out a big pile of things to give away, then reorganized everything so that half the closet is now empty. All set for his shirts to move in when we get engaged!

That felt forward looking. Plus, you should see how awesomely clean and tidy (if a little lopsided) my closet looks.

 

[gigglebuns1186]

Thanks! Yea, I should probably unpack some of my college luggage haha.

 

[monarch64]

Well...I totally agree with neatfreak on this one! I''ve been married now for almost 4 years and I can STILL remember what it was like to be a LIW! It sucked! only in the sense that it was hard to wait while a lot of my other friends were getting engaged around the same time, though. It didn''t really suck so much waiting for my now husband to propose, to me it was just hard to see my friends getting engaged and starting to plan their own weddings. So like neatfreak said, try hanging out with some of your friends who aren''t about to get engaged or whatever, try doing things that don''t involve marriage or anything to do with it, etc. Just focus on you...volunteer or something so you still feel great about yourself without focusing so much on getting married or engaged. You''ll be fine until the time comes...I promise!

 

[DMBsGirl]

It helps to come on the forum and talk to others going through the same thing. It helps me to look at rings, search for stones, look at wedding related stuff. Never too early to start looking so you''ll be more prepared when the time comes.

 

[Becky P]

The biggest thing that helped me was to come on hear and read others stories. The last few months on here haven''t seen nearly as much drama as when I first joined the boards. It seems most of the new gals who join the boards are just waiting to actually get their ring, whereas there were a bunch of us who didn''t even know IF we would get a ring... So, read back on the thread last summer through Sept and Oct there are some really interesting threads and discussions and great ideas!

The next thing that helps me is dreaming about my wedding. I could literally probably plan my wedding in one month if I needed to now. I''ve researched ceremony and reception locations (in 4 different cities!), created my guest list, put together a wedding budget, started a wedding savings account, gathered pictures of flowers, hairstyles, etc. So, even tho I may not have a ring yet, at least once we do get engaged, we won''t have all the stress of figuring all this stuff out because I''ll already have a bunch of the research done.

Finally, really reconnecting with myself is important. I take a day or week or whatever and do things for me. Watch my favorite movies, light candles, go out with friends, play tennis, etc.

 

[bee*]

I like looking through wedding stuff-it helps get my mind off the LIW bit. Try and keep as busy as you can too-Ive had exams for the past 3 wks and they just finished today(woohoo) so Im going to have to keep myself very busy for the next few weeks before we head to NY

 

[anchor31]

I started doing some pre-engagement wedding planning...

Are official plans are 98% different, but it was still fun!

 

[matildawong]

I''m new here, and I realize I''m replying to a thread that''s last post was a few days ago, but oh well....

I''ve been bitten by the LIW status bug lately and we''ve been talking about it and we looked at rings. Here''s the rub: he''s in school (MBA) and he''s been married before and it was a bad ending and she left him with a lot of debt.

He wants to marry me

It just looks impossible for us to marry until his school is over (a bit less than a year.) But I was ok with until we had a big financial setback today that will likely push a wedding/marriage further away.

Just reading some of these threads makes me feel better. I just wanted to tell you, gigglebuns, I kinda know how you feel!

 

[gigglebuns1186]

aww, thanks!

I find it hard not to talk about it to him, but i''m trying! I want him to do it when he is ready, and I don''t want to push him even though i''m thinking "ahh i want it now" haha. He said he wants to do it this summer but it might not happen due to financial reasons. We are both in college too and he only works in the summer and on school breaks. Thanks for all the advice! I love getting it. hehe

 

[rockzilla]

I was just a bridesmaid in a wedding over the weekend and (BIW don''t be offended here) you can be grateful that you''re NOT planning a wedding yet. I think in theory it is fun, and in practice it is a lot of work and very stressful. It also tends to bring out the not-so-nice side of some people