How to deal with backstabbing coworker?

[eks6426]

I have a coworker who works very hard to showcase any mistakes or errors I make to our boss. We don't work on that many things together but every time we do he can manage to make me appear stupid to the boss. We'll have a meeting and I follow up. Respond to the things I was supposed to follow-up on in an email. He'll then turn around and respond to my email and copy the boss stating why what I said on the email is not right. Often times he twists around what he originally wanted me to check out to make it seem like I didn't answer the issue or looked at it differently than what he was expecting. It really drives me nuts that he doesn't just call me or email me directly rather than cc our boss. The boss is busy enough that he shouldn't have to deal with this kind of stuff. Inevitibly I get an email back to the boss that says something like that praises my coworker for his ideas/solutions etc. So, the end result is I look bad to the boss. I try to do the followups verbally only because then he can't slam me on email but it doesn't always work.

I've had to deal with this guy for years. He just recently got promoted so now we report to the same supervisor. He used to do it to me before only cc his supervisor.

I am left just really wanting to punch him which I know is not the answer. Any ideas for CYA. My main goal is to avoid looking bad to the boss.

I guess my basic issue is that I am to nicely naive. I would never even think about doing this to someone else and am always surprised when they do it to me. I've learned with this guy to be careful but he still manages to do it to me.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Two words of advice: document everything.
Ask both your boss and your co-worker to put in writing exactly what they want you to do. That way, your co-worker can't say that you misunderstood it or it wasn't what he meant. If they won't do that or you'd rather not ask them to do it, send them a memo or an e-mail saying "It is my understanding that you need the following:", then list everything. Ask them for any comments. Be sure to code your e-mails to show a read/receipt. If that isn't feasible, you could confirm what they want vebally with both of them when the 3 of you are together at the same time. I'm a firm believer in putting everything in writing because you'll never be misquoted. If you give your co-worker a chance to comment and clarify what he needs before you send your final information in, he'll look like a fool and an obvious backstabber if he tries to show you up after the fact.

 

[movie zombie]

i''m more direct with documentation and include date and time. i also use the words "this is to confirm" .

yes, document, document, and then document some more. have a paper trail that cannot be disputed. even if the three of you are in the room together when a decision or course of action is decided, document. if your boss asks why in the world you are being so fanatic with the paper follow up, be ready to explain why you are doing so in such a way that you appear reasonable and not over reactive.

movie zombie

 

[gailrmv]

Is there any chance this guy does not have malicious intent. I ask only because I had a similar situation a few years back. I worked with a guy (same department, different location) who came across as condescending and defensive. It really bugged me that whenever I had any email correspondence with this one coworker, he would always reply back and cc his supervisor and my supervisor. I did not know why he did this and assumed it was to make me look bad. Finally one day we had it out and it turned out he did this with all his correspondence (as if our supervisors had nothing better to do than read about every detail of our jobs). After we discussed it, he stopped at least most of the time. It was gradual but we started getting along better after that. After a while we became sort of work friends, even. But it was really miserable for a while there!
Point being, it might be worth it to discuss his actions with him (using concrete examples) and letting him know that it bugs you and why. There is a chance he might stop. If not then maybe discuss with your supervisor?

 

[perry]

Hmmm.... Lots of possible solutions or issues.

The key to how this will get resolved long term is the character of the boss: If the boss thinks backstabing is fundamentally the way to succeed you can either tolerate the situation, volunterely change jobs, or chance getting fired (or at least poor performance reviews and minimal pay raises - if any) if you raise the situation. All the documentation in the world will not help you if the boss personally is OK with backstabbing.

On the other hand; if the boss does not support backstabbing - and dosn''t know what has been going on: Then properely documented and presented will help resolve the situation. Note the key is proper presentation to the boss. Come off vindictive or several other ways and you''re done...

gailrmv has a very valid point - which I would try first. If you can''t stomach doing that.

If you cannot stomach doing what needs to be done- then I suggest that you start looking for another job. It would not hurt to have another job lined up (or know the possibilities) as you work to resolution as well. Sometimes a change of scenery does wonders.

Something that we all have to face someday: Is out ethics strong enough to allow a company to fire us or to walk away from a bad situation - even without another job lined up.

Another thing we all must face and learn to do: Learn to speak up about what you are doing and don''t let others take credit for you accomplishments. It took me a few years (and even a few jobs) to learn to do this.


Hope this helps,


Perry

 

[eks6426]

Thanks everyone for the advice. It is possible that this guy cc''s his boss for every email although I can''t imagine our boss tolerating that. But I will try to find out.

I have been looking for another job since Jan 06. The unfortunate thing is that I live in area where my job speciality is not in high demand and moving is not currently possible (step child in high school). I''d love to walk away from my job but I am the sole income right now (husband is in year 3 of a business start up that is a drain on finances rather than a help).

I know I am not great at the self-promoting which I need to get better but I''m honestly pretty clueless about how to do it. I do give my boss a weekly update on my stuff but I''m not good at much beyond that.

I think the idea to summarize the meetings with emails--leaving him room to give his opinions will work to some extent but he seems to always find ways to twist stuff back on me. Unfortunately this coworker, myself and my boss are never in the same room at the same time so I can''t summarize those kind of meetings.

Not sure on how the boss thinks about back stabbing. He''s very type A personality. Screams and yells and belittles people on occassion. You don''t want to be on his bad side.